When Korra started to be able to move her toes and legs, that's when I knew I could leave her in my grandmother's care. I said goodbye to her, already having figured out what I was going to do. The Earth Kingdom was in shambles, bandits having started to run wild and I wanted to try and find as many Red Lotus members as possible in order to take them down, so that's what I was going to do. Korra wished me luck and made me promise to write to her. She'd received many letters from Asami, Mako and Bolin, but she never answered them. I knew it was hard for her, reading about them going on with their lives, but I encouraged her to have hope and inwardly promised I'd write about my life being as hellish as possible in an attempt to make her feel better.
I said goodbye to Naga too and she whimpered, as if knowing that this time I wasn't coming back. "You take good care of Korra for me, okay girl? She's going to need you now more than ever." I said to her, rubbing her face and burying my face into her neck before I had to let her go. I then went to see my grandmother, who was fast asleep when I slipped into her room. I watched her for a while, feeling a sad, empty pit in the base of my stomach as I put my goodbye letter on her nightstand then took off my necklace, feeling like I didn't deserve to wear it anymore. I laid it on top, bit down on my lip then turned away, leaving her to rest peacefully. I saved my mother for last, knowing that she was still up and when I entered her room and lightly lifted the hanging blanket, she looked up and saw me.
"Kanna?" She stared for a moment, shock clearly hitting her before all at once she was running to me.
"Mom, I'm…" When she tackled me with a hug she cut off what I was going to say, letting out a shaky breath like she were crying as I felt her clutch me against her with relief and desperation.
"I'm so glad you're safe, I knew you would be, Bumi taught you everything about surviving out there but still…I couldn't help but worry." She said to me breathlessly before she forced herself to let go, taking several clear steps back as she dried her eyes from the ongoing tears. "I'm sorry, I was just so happy to see you Kanna, I-!" Unable to hold myself back, I flung my arms around her middle and buried my face against her as mine crumbled. At first my mom was shocked that I'd initiated contact, but she readily accepted it and gave me a tight squeeze, just holding me in her arms for a while, stroking my hair and hushing me gently. She even sang me a song she used to sing to me when I was younger, swaying slightly as I choked and sobbed until I had nothing left.
"I'm sorry mom, sorry for everything. I was horrible and rotten and I shouldn't have treated you like I did and I'm so grateful you stood by my side back then and…"
"It's okay now Kanna, it's okay." Mom assured me, lifting my face to wipe away my tears and kiss my cheeks, holding me in her arms as I struggled to recover my breath. "You're my precious little water lily, my Kanna, and I know that you are a cut above the rest. I'll trust you and love you always, no matter what. Even if you did become the worst criminal of them all, I'd defend you. I'd be on your side because I'm your mom and I'll never turn my back on you." She told me and that made me feel both better and worse about myself. Better because they were the exact words I needed to hear, but worse because of how I'd been rejecting her before now. "I know why you pushed me away like you did, and you had every right to. All I hope is that one day, you'll be willing to let me be your mom again, and we can start over. I love you Kanna. You are more important to me than anything else in the entire world."
"Mom…" I sniffed, feeling like I wanted to bawl and wail like a baby, to act childish and be spoiled by her like I used to. "I love you too mom. I'm so sorry. Seeing you hurt like that by those Red Lotus guys…I thought I was going to lose you and it made me realise, I didn't want to lose you. Not again. I know you left because you needed to, that you had your own reasons, but I just couldn't accept them because I just wanted you by my side and not in some far, unreachable place where I couldn't see you." Mom started crying again, the both of us a complete mess.
"I'm sorry, can you forgive me? I did have my reasons, but I won't give excuses. You were right, I was running away. I was running from everything that reminded me how much I missed your father after he'd gone, and I thought that my grief and sadness would end up hurting you, so I thought the further I was away from you, until I could find a way to deal with the grief, the safer you'd be." I nodded, understanding why she did it and although I still felt that it had been wrong of her to go, I couldn't fault her for grieving my dad, so all I could do was forgive and let it go. "But where have you been? I haven't seen you in weeks, I was starting to get twitchy worrying about you." She joked lightly, pushing back my hair.
"I've been nearby. Actually, after the first night away, I just came back and lived in Korra's room and snuck around the temple." My mom blinked at me with disbelief.
"You're kidding?" I cracked a wry smile and she laughed. "You're definitely my kid. Wait until I tell Tenzin, he'll totally lose his nut." Shaking her head at the mention of her brother, mom lay her hands on my shoulders to look at me directly. "You know I don't care that you can blood bend, right? If anything, I'm proud of you. You saved your friends and your family, and nothing's more important than that. Also, I've been thinking about the theories you mentioned about adding blood bending to medical practice, and I think it can work too."
"Really? You think so?" I brightened at that, feeling hopeful knowing that mom was on my side and agreed with me. "Thanks mom, I really needed to her that." She smiled at me, fussing over me a little more before she stopped and looked at my neck.
"Where's your necklace? Didn't your grandmother give you her necklace to wear? The one that belonged to her mother?"
"I took it off and gave it back to gran-gran. I didn't want to take it with me when I left in case…well. I just didn't feel right taking it with me." Mom's eyes saddened then, looking at me earnestly before she pulled back and started taking off he own necklace, the one dad made for her.
"Then take this one. It's yours now, it's about time I passed this down to you." She said, putting it around my neck and fastening it. I naturally reached up to feel the smooth blue stone shaped in an arc with the two darker stones either side, making my eyes swim with emotion once more. "You said you were leaving?"
"Yeah, I feel like I need to. I want to see more of the world, and I also want to help maintain balance in Korra's stead whilst she heals. I'm going to the earth kingdom, and I'm also going to hunt down Red Lotus." At first my mom looked alarmed and she started to tell me that I couldn't, that it was too dangerous but she stopped herself, arguing with herself inwardly before sighing.
"I know I can't stop you, and I don't have the right to. You're old enough to make your own decisions, and I never want to hold you back. Just promise you'll be careful. Think smart and don't get in over your head. Pick your fights carefully and never allow anyone to put you down. You're my daughter, and you're Kanna. There's a strength in you that I've never had." She said to me before smiling, reaching out and touching her hand to my cheek. "You know, you look a lot like mom did when she was your age. You've seen the paintings and pictures, right?"
"Yeah, I can see the resemblance a lot. Maybe I should wear my hair like she used to." I said with a smile and made a gesture with my hands that started at the parting of my hair and curled down and back towards the back of my head to imitate the hair loops she wears. "Thank you for letting me go mom. I promise I won't let you down."
"You never do." She answered before hugging me again. "And don't worry about your grandmother. Although she still disagrees about blood bending, that doesn't mean she loves you any less. Come back home whenever you're ready to sit down and talk. You always have a place here with us. With me." I smiled against her, tightening my grip for a moment.
"I love you, mom."
"I love you more, my precious little water lily."
