Chapter Five
Calogero didn't sleep all that well the first night in Vito's apartment. Partly because he couldn't stop thinking about Jane. He played the scene on the sidewalk over and over in his mind, these times finding the right words to console her, to stop her walking away. The other reason Calogero couldn't sleep was Vito, Sophia Fratelli and Marnie Grigio made a hell of a lot of noise when they came home from Pablo's party. Calogero slept with the pillow over his head to avoid hearing the loud sexual noises from the bedroom next door and he tried not to think about whether it was Marnie in there with Vito, or Sophia, or in fact both of them.
Vito came into Calogero's room more than once and tried to get him out of bed for 'a drink'. The second time Calogero lost his rag and shouted at him to 'leave me the hell alone'. Vito had laughed, said something along the lines of 'You're this grouchy at night, what you gonna be like in the morning?' and slammed out of his room.
Now morning was here, Calogero felt a little guilty. It wasn't Vito's fault he and Jane had gotten in a fight and the guy was putting him up in his place, Vito was doing him the favour.. He probably wouldn't be all that keen to put him up another night if Calogero didn't change his attitude.
Sighing, Calogero got up and pulled on his jeans, heading into the kitchen for a glass of water. He found Vito and Marnie kissing in one of the arm chairs. Vito was topless, and Marnie was wearing Vito's shirt from the night before. It didn't leave much to the imagination.
"'Scuse me," Calogero said, walking by them without making eye contact. He filled a glass at the faucet but looked up at the sound of Marnie's giggle.
"Morning, C," she called teasingly.
"How you doing," he said levelly, draining the glass then putting it down on the counter.
"Hey, we missed you last night, man. Sophia got a little lonely without you," Vito said. He pulled Marnie onto his lap and Calogero refilled his glass.
"Sophia was just fine," Sophia said, coming into the room. Her hair was wet from the shower and she looked a little annoyed at Vito's comment.
"There she is," Vito smiled at her. "The prettiest third wheel this side of town."
"Cut it out." Marnie elbowed him sharply but Sophia just rolled her eyes. In truth, Sophia was easily the prettier of the two, but much less likely to put out, according to rumour.
"Morning, C." Sophia brushed past him to get to the sink and he nodded at her.
"Morning."
"So did you actually manage to get some sleep last night? 'Cause I sure didn't." Sophie nodded at Vito and Marnie who were all over each other again.
"I slept fine," Calogero lied. His mind wandered back to Jane again and he put a hand to his head. He had to fix things, he had to see her. Sophia took his hand gesture as a symptom of a hang over.
"You not feeling too good? I have some aspirin in my purse if you want it?"
"I'm fine." The truth was, he hadn't even managed to finish his second beer the previous night. And after Jane had walked off, he had been in no mood to party or drink another drop.
Calogero looked up sharply as Vito and Marnie clattered back into the bedroom, her tanned legs wrapped around his waist. Vito kicked the door shut behind them as Sophia shook her head.
"Yeah, real classy right?"
Calogero shrugged.
"I'm gonna go find some breakfast anyway." He had the fridge open but the only thing inside it was beer.
"Well, hold on a second and I'll walk out with you. I have to watch my little brother today." Sophia walked over to the coffee table and started picking up her jewellery, a thin silver chain and a silver linked watch.
Calogero walked by her into his bedroom and threw on yesterday's shirt. It smelled like beer and he sniffed it cautiously before pulling to over his head. He needed to pick up some clothes from his parents place as soon as possible. If he left soon, he could time it right and they would be at church and not at home.
Calogero put on his shoes, picked up his jacket and came into the living room. Sophia wasn't ready yet. He watched impatiently for a few moments as she struggled to do up her necklace.
"C, would you help a girl out?" She demanded.
Calogero sighed and dropped his jacket on the sofa before he came closer and picked up the two tiny threads of her necklace.
"Your hair's in the way," he told her, brushing it aside. She responded by pulling it round over her shoulder and he concentrated on linking the clasp through the hoop.
The door to the apartment was banged on hard, making Sophia jump and Caolgero swore as he lost the end of the necklace again.
"You gonna get that?" She asked, when he didn't make a move to answer the door.
"It's not my place," he said in concentration. "Vito, door! Get out here!"
The door banged again before Vito appeared, dishevelled and grinning. His black hair was in disarray and he looked like he hadn't slept all night.
"Who is it?"
"How do I know?" C gritted his teeth, focusing hard to reclasp Sophia's damn necklace as Vito swung open the door.
"Hey, sweetheart."
The silence that followed should have been an indication that something was very wrong. But Calogero was so busy doing up the necklace that it took him a while to notice.
"C, it's for you," Sophia said.
The last person he expected to see on the doorstep was Jane. Her eyes went from Vito's topless chest, to Calogero just straightening up from Sophia and her necklace. She spun in the doorway and walked away without a word.
"Shit," he muttered, picking up his jacket and hurrying after her.
It was damn bad luck, two days in a row, and he didn't know how he could explain that to her. She was one floor down the tenement block before he managed to catch her arm but she yanked it away with even greater ferocity than she had the night before.
"Jane,I-"
"Let me guess? It's not what it looked like? Go to hell, Calogero. Just go to hell!" He had never heard her talk like that before, but he had never seen her this upset either.
"How did you even find me?" He knew it was the wrong choice of words as soon as he said them, as though he were hiding here and up to no good.
"What does that matter? I'm glad I did because finally I can see what you are, what you want. And it isn't me."
"What are you talking about? Of course I want you." He tried to box her into the corner of the stairwell, to slip his arms about her but she shoved him away.
"Just stop it, Calogero. Stop pretending that this is going somewhere, that things are going to be different. They're not. We come from two different worlds. I don't belong in yours. But girls like her do!"
Sophia was coming down the stairs behind them. She held up her hands in defence and rolled her eyes.
"There's nothing going on here, okay? C and I are just friends. Have been for years." Sophia was buckling her coat as she passed them but Calogero wished she would just disappear. They hadn't been friends for a long time. He hadn't seen Sophia, Marnie or any of their crowd since the funerals.
Jane pursed her lips together and said nothing. Calogero waited until Sophia was out of the building.
"Jane." He stepped closer to her and put his hands on her upper arms. "I'm telling you nothing happened. Don't you trust me?"
Her eyes wandered over his face before they settled on his eyes.
"I'm tired of feeling this way," she said. "Insecure. Uncertain. I wouldn't be like this if…"
"If what?" It was his turn to get angry. "If you were with a black guy?"
Her eyes were shiny with tears when she looked at him.
"Yes."
"Jesus Christ, Jane. You accuse me of looking elsewhere when all the time you're the one wishing you were with someone else. Someone the same colour as you? We're not supposed to care about that shit. That should be for everybody else to care about. Not us, never us!"
The tears started falling then. He'd never seen her cry before. He'd seen her mad, he'd even seen her upset but she'd never cried like this.
"Don't do that." He advanced on her and she backed away but this time he wasn't letting her escape. He caught her wrists and backed her into the wall, bringing his lips down on hers. He kissed her for long enough that she stopped crying and then he slid his arms around her and pulled her in close.
"We have to be on the same side," he told her gently. "There's only us. Just you and me. You have to trust me."
"I'm tired of everyone waiting for us to fail," she sniffed.
He knew she didn't like the word but he knew he needed to say it to emphasise how strongly he felt.
"Fuck everyone else. It's just us, Jane. Just you and me."
And when she buried her head in his shoulder, just her and him felt more than enough.
888
"Are you gonna stand over there all day?"
Jane stood near the closed door of the guest room at Vito's while Calogero sat on the bed with his back against the wall.
"Don't you wanna unpack your things?" She asked tentatively.
Calogero eyed her uncertainly. He had met her back here after he'd gone to his parents place for clean clothes. He'd been lucky enough that they'd still been at church and he'd escaped with his belongings unseen.
But since he had come back here with Jane, she was acting strangely. He had been pretty sure they'd been okay after their talk in the stairwell, but now he wasn't so sure.
"I'm not gonna unpack, I dont know how long I'm staying," he said. "Would you come over here already?"
Jane wandered hesitantly across the room towards him and sat on the very foot of the bed.
"Jane, where you sitting? Come up here with me." He reached a hand out towards her but she looked immediately worried.
"You okay? What's the problem?" He was laughing gently but he was worried.
"There's no problem, it's just-" she bit her lip "I've never been in a guys bedroom before."
Calogero started to laugh. Jane looked startled by the noise and he slid down to her end of the bed, putting a leg either side of hers so he could sit behind her and hug her in close.
"One, this isn't my bedroom. Two, I don't make a habit of taking girls back to where I sleep and three, it's no big deal that there's a bed in here. It's just me and you, no evil plan."
She laughed too, her body relaxing against him.
"So how did you know where to find this place?" He changed the subject.
"I walked into the bar and asked if anyone knew where Vito lived. I thought if anyone would know, they would."
Calogero was taken aback.
"And they just told you?"
"No. Everybody denied even knowing a Vito until his uncle came out of the back and asked me if I was C's girl."
It was strange hearing her say C. She had always called him Calogero. He gave a low whistle and tightened his arms about her.
"You got some real balls walking in there, Jane. But do me s favour, huh? Don't go in there again."
"Why not?"
"Because those guys are dangerous, okay? I can't protect you from them."
"You wanna protect me?" Her eyes were shining and he felt like an idiot until she kissed him. He kissed her back, his arms sliding round her, resting his cheek on hers. Jesus, she made him hot.
"Have you thought about it?" He murmured in her ear.
Her eyes were shut but she opened them long enough to look at him. He marvelled at their deep caramel tone and the long length of her dark eyelashes. Fuck, she was beautiful.
"Of course, I have," she said shyly. "That's why I'm nervous."
He kissed her softly.
"Don't be nervous. We don't have to do nothing you don't want to, alright?"
"Alright." She smiled at him and settled back in his arms.
"But we can also do anything you do want to, okay?"
He murmured this in her ear, breathing hotly against her neck and she turned her face away, laughing.
888
Calogero was coming around the corner of 187th East when he saw Slick's mother from across the street. Part of him wanted to turn around in the direction he had come but a bigger part of him noticed she was carrying several grocery bags. He wavered for a second on the corner of the sidewalk before Mrs Grazia, clearly struggling under the weight, stopped to rest, balancing her bags on a mailbox. Swearing to himself, Calogero dropped his cigarette and hurried out into the street.
"Hey, Mrs Grazia, let me help with you that."
She was a small woman, even smaller than his mother and where as his mom had grown up in the Bronx projects, Slick's Mom still carried the distinct accent from her childhood in Sicily.
"Calogero!" Mrs Grazia's lined face spread into a huge smile and he felt like a jerk-off for even considering not coming over.
"Here, give me those." Calogero scooped up her bags effortlessly and she patted his arm gratefully before falling into step beside him.
"Still such a lovely boy," she said. "How are you? Why don't you come and see me?"
Calogero shifted the bags uncomfortably and forced a smile.
"I been busy, Mrs G. School, you know? How are you doing? How's the family? I see Dante sometimes."
"Dante's a good boy," she smiled a little sadly. "But he's not who he was. I think that Slick took some of his brother with him when he left us."
Calogero slowed his stride so she could keep up with him and tried to steady his voice when he said:
"Yeah, I know."
Mrs Grazia swiped at glistening eyes and gulped back her distress.
"You must come for dinner," she said decisively. "I make meatballs, yours and Slick's favourite."
He was pretty sure that Mrs G's meatballs had been Slick and Marrio's favourite, not his, but he stayed quiet on that one.
"That'd be good," he said politely, following her to the door of her building.
"No, no more of this 'that'd be good", 'some day, one day', Calogero. You will come. Tomorrow at six. Dante will be there and we will eat together. You are the only friend of Slick's that, that…" She faltered then, her breath coming in short sharp gasps and Calogero set down the bags and took her hands in his.
"Okay, Mrs G, I'll be there. Never could resist your meatballs, could I?"
She composed herself and beamed at him.
"You always were a good boy, Calogero."
And then she hugged him, all tiny five feet of her. For a second it felt like hugging a kid, her tiny body wrapped in his arms. But then she stepped away and gave him a no nonsense look, warned him he had better be on time and left an air of mother like perfume that made his gut ache.
He missed his Mom. It had only been twenty four hours and maybe that made him a big fucking pussy, but he hated to see his Mom sad and she'd looked devastated when he'd walked out of the door.
And in a bigger way than his mom, because she was still accessible to him if he wanted to see her, he missed Slick. Slick who may have been loud and racist and sometimes a sneaky son of a bitch but who had kicked Danny Ferrier down the stairs after he bust Calogero's lip on the football field.
Whenever he thought about that burning car, his friends charred skin it turned his stomach. And that was why it was hard to look at Dante and even harder to look at Mrs G.
He knew now he was duty bound, but the very last place he wanted to be tomorrow night was at the Grazia dinner table.
888
