No Such Duel
Chapter 4: The Verdict to Duel
Back in the courtroom,
The Louds all piled out of the room, where Lincoln and the prosecutor were waiting, with smug looks on their faces, "What happened to your Defense Attorney?" the judge asked.
"She up and abandoned us, saying this case was a lost cause, for whatever reason," Lynn Jr. replied.
"Hmm, hard to imagine why," the prosecutor mumbled.
"Alright, I believe we have enough testimony for the jury to reach a verdict. Before they do so, does the prosecution and defense have anything they want to say?" the judge asked.
"Indeed I do, you honor," the prosecutor replied, as he stepped forth, "Members of the jury, it is clear, based on ALL the evidence that not only Rita and Lynn Sr. are terrible parents, but their daughters have all been raised to be the sociopath monsters they've been made out to be, and the fact that they purposely allow all 11 of their kids to live in a dangerously unsafe house. Based on the evidence provided by all the witnesses, I can say without a doubt that all 11 members of the Loud Family on the defense MUST be declared guilty, and punished to the fullest extent of the law," the prosecutor said, before taking his seat.
"And will the defense say anything?" the judge asked.
"Indeed we do," Lisa said, before Lynn Jr. jumped out to the floor.
"And I know what we have to say for ourselves! First of all, all of that 'testimony' and 'evidence' is a lot of bull crap, forged by Stinkcoln to make us all look bad, and the testimony provided by everyone else NOT in our family should NOT even be taken into account! Secondly, is in regards to the law itself. The law is there to maintain order, sure, but it also holds us back from reaching our fullest potential. In the case of ME, the law should take a backseat, especially when something as important as a Softball Championship League is brought into question. If Stinkcoln shows up to the Squirrel's doubleheader to make up for the loss HE caused with his bad luck, then the wrath of the softball gods will rain down upon us all! Which is why I ask the jury to find ME and my family NOT Guilty, and have Stinkcoln banished from Royal Woods forever! Also, as an apology for making us sit through this grandiose waste of time, you could erect a statue of the great ME in MY honor. I have nothing more to say," Lynn Jr. said. Both Lincoln and the prosecutor, and pretty much all of the courtroom were slack jawed as Lynn's speech.
"Alright then. The jury will meet to discuss the verdict, and it will be final," the judge said, as the jury went into the next room. Meanwhile, the rest of the Loud Family glared angrily at Lynn.
"Lynn, what the hell?!" Luna yelled.
"We agreed that we were going to do a plea bargain!" Rita yelled.
"That's right, YOU guys agreed to quitting this case, but I took matters into my own hands. The win has been assured," Lynn Jr. replied, kicking up her feet.
"I can't believe how stupid your sister is," the prosecutor commented.
"I know, right? The win was pretty much given to us on a silver platter," Lincoln replied.
"And this is the easiest victory I've ever had!" the prosecutor replied. Just then, the jury came back.
"Has the jury reached the verdict?" the judge asked.
"We have your honor," one of the jurors replied. Lynn Jr. had a look of amusement, as she leaned in, with her hand to her ear, anticipating in vain the verdict she wanted, "We the jury find the 11 members of the Loud Family GUILTY of ALL charges," he said. The Louds were horrified to hear those words, with Lynn being the most dumbfounded.
'How can this be?! My speech was flawless!' she thought, before she looked over to her brother, who had a look of amusement on his face, 'Stinkcoln! That good for nothing jinx caused another loss for ME!' Lynn thought.
"I DEMAND A RECOUNT!" she yelled.
"Out of the question. The jury's verdict is final," the judge refused.
"But this isn't fair! The only reason WE lost is because of Stinkcoln! Him, and his bad luck!" Lynn Jr. argued.
"Kid, listen," one of the jurors began, "Your brother and his supposed 'bad luck' has nothing to do with the fact that you guys broke several laws, and have been rightfully tried for it. That abysmal speech of yours was the final nail in that coffin," he said.
"No! I refuse to accept this!" Lynn Jr. yelled.
"That's enough!" the judge yelled.
"STAY OUT OF THIS! THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU, OR ANYONE ELSE INVOLVED IN THIS CASE!" the sporty sister yelled.
"Kid, you just don't want to accept a loss because of your overinflated ego! You're so obsessed with winning, that you forgotten the most important thing about sports; the fact that it's supposed to about having fun! Instead, you prioritize winning so much, that it turned you into a self absorbed, spoiled brat, who thinks if she throws a big enough fit, then things will go her way! But that's not how the world works! It's time you and your family got a major reality check, instead of being such a sore looser!" another juror yelled. What happened next added more salt to the Loud Family's wound. Lynn then threw the table over at the prosecution side of the courtroom, and went on to wreck everything she could get her hands on. Things were getting so bad, that several cops had to come in, and taser her.
"GET HER OUT OF MY COURTROOM!" the judge boomed. The cops then proceeded to drag the unconscious Lynn out of the room, leaving only the rest of the Loud Family to suffer whatever fate the judge had in store for them, "As for you, why didn't you stop your daughter?!" he demanded.
"Well, Junior seemed to have a lot of anger to vent, and we've learned it's best not to disturb her," Lynn Sr. replied.
"I need a lot of asprin after this. In any case, because of the actions of you and your daughters, Rita and Lynn Sr., I hereby sentence you to spend either five years in the county prison, or one and a half to two years in the Facility," the judge declared. The Louds all blanched at the punishment the parents had in store for them. From what they've heard of the Facility, it made a regular prison seem like summer camp in comparison, "Meanwhile, your daughters, Lori, Luan, Lynn Jr., Lola, and Lisa will be sentence to the Juvenile Facility, while Leni and Lucy will be sent to the Royal Woods Mental Institute to help them with their lack of common sense and depression respectively until they get a better handle on their problems. Meanwhile, the other two of your daughters are sent to behavioral correction camp for the entire summer! In addition, not only will ALL of his furniture and belongings be returned to him, but you will pay Lincoln every cent you got from selling his furniture, PLUS interest, and Lisa's PH.D will be revoked!" the judge proclaimed.
"But we can't afford that!" Rita exclaimed.
"Well, I see no reason why we shouldn't do unto you as you did unto your son," the judge replied.
"What does he mean?" Lana asked.
"He means that OUR stuff will be sold the same way we sold all of Lincoln's possessions," Lisa replied.
"Lincoln, you stay OUT of our rooms!" Lori yelled, followed by the other sisters.
"ORDER IN THE COURT!" the judge banged his gavel loudly, "Furthermore, custody of Lincoln AND his sisters will be divided upon their Aunts and Uncles on Rita's side, and a restraining order of fifteen feet will be placed on Lincoln, keeping the two of you from ever coming into contact with him! This sentence is final!"
"Permission to speak, your honor?" Lincoln asked, catching everyone's attention.
"Lincoln, shut up, and sit down! You've caused enough damage for one lifetime!" Lori ordered.
"That's enough out of you, Ms. Loud!" the judge snapped, causing Lori to sit down herself, "Now then, what is it that you wish to say, Lincoln?" the judge asked.
"Call me biased, but I still think that the sister who're going to be sent to Boot Camp should enjoy at least a few months of summer. Same goes for the ones who are to be sent to the facility, which is why I want to propose a wager to the nine of my sisters who are guilty," Lincoln explained.
"And that is?" the judge asked.
"A simple game; the girls will face me in a game of my choosing. If they win, then they get their sentence reduced to only one month, but it I win, then they carry out the sentence as you had proclaimed," Lincoln replied. His sisters started laughing at him.
"You?! Face us, and win?! That'll be the day!" Luan laughed.
"ENOUGH!" the judge pounded his gavel, causing the girls to settle down, "Seeing as how it's clear you have very little say in any matters regarding your family, I will allow your proposition. What will the game be, and when will it happen?" the judge asked.
"In two weeks, we'll meet at the Royal Woods Duel Dome, for a game of Duel Monsters, Nine against One," Lincoln replied.
"NO! I will never allow it! It's bad enough that you play that game, Lincoln, which you're going to be so grounded for, but you are NOT dragging your sisters down to your level!" Lynn Sr. yelled.
"Mr. Loud, consider this the final warning! One more outburst out of you, your wife or any of your daughters, and additional counts of contempt of court shall be added your list of charges!" the judge yelled, before turning back to Lincoln, "As for your proposition, I will get in contact with the Duel Monster's commission and have a day set aside for your match against your sisters. Would you like to add your parent's sentence to the deal?"
"Not a chance! Those two have proven time and time again that they're unfit to be parents, and should be justly punished for their lack of common sense," Lincoln replied.
"If that is your wish, then I won't force you to change your mind. Now then, as for this Duel, will there be any special rules set in place?" the judge asked.
"Yes, quite a few. For starters, I'll only start off with 8000 Life Points, while the girls start off with nine times that amount, as a sort of handicap. Secondly, while my goal is to reduce their Life Points down to zero, all they have to do is reduce my Life Points by at least half using their own cards, meaning if one of MY cards deals me damage or requires me to pay Life Points, then the girls can't take credit for it. Third and most importantly is that absolutely NO lucky charms or luck rituals will be allowed during the Duel. The girls will be frisked before they enter the arena, and will be closely monitored during the duel. If any of them is caught with a lucky charm or performing any lucky ritual, then that particular sister will automatically be disqualified, and be shipped out to her intended punishment. Also, they'll all be allowed to use each other's monsters, spells, and trap cards as they see fit, meaning one of them can use another sister's monster or monsters to Fusion, Synchro, or Xyz summon. As for Pendulum Summoning, they'll all have to do that themselves. Furthermore, if one sister takes 8000 or more points of damage, then she'll be eliminated," Lincoln explained.
"You got all that down?" the judge asked the recorder.
"Every word," the recorder replied.
"And why that two week wait for the duel?" the judge asked.
"I'm giving them more than plenty of time to not only learn the rules, but to build decks, and formulate tons of strategies, not only for their own personal decks, but also to work in tandem with each other's decks. Plus I need to build a new deck to specifically counter multiple opponents. Of course, I will also offer them an easy way to getting only one month of time spent at the Facility or Boot Camp, but it has to be Lynn who has to do it," Lincoln explained.
"And what might that be?" the judge asked.
"She has to make a public apology, not only to myself, but all of her sports teams as well, for all their health issues, and for her overzealous belief in luck," Lincoln replied.
"Oh dear, then it really is going to be the Duel for us," Lisa whispered, as she and the rest of the family knew she would never go through with it.
"You realize that if I decide to go through with this, then you must NOT hold back! If you do, then your title as the Royal Woods Duel Monsters champion will be revoked," the Judge said explicitly.
"Fine by me, I wasn't planning on taking it easy on them anyway," Lincoln replied.
"Very well. If these are the conditions, then I shall declare this case closed!" the judge once again banged his gavel. Some cops came in and proceeded to escort Rita and Lynn Sr. out of the courtroom, followed by their daughters. As they walked, they saw several of their peers, as well as their Grandfather and Aunt Ruth, all looking at them with looks of disgust and disappointment. They soon exited the courtroom, where Ross and Randy were waiting.
"Rachel told us what happened," Randy commented.
"Not so lucky now, huh?" Ross asked harshly.
"But this isn't OUR fault! Lincoln's the one who lied about being bad luck!" Lori exclaimed.
"Remind me, WHO could've talked him out of it?" Ross questioned.
"Fair point, but we're not going to play that stupid card game, especially not with that little home wrecker, Lincoln," Lori replied.
"Well no one exactly TOLD you to lock him out and banish him from your home in the first place!" Randy yelled, as the cops forced the Loud Parents into a police car, and drove off.
"Plus, you don't exactly have a choice regarding the Duel," Lincoln said, joining the group, "Part of the arrangement states that if any of you girls don't show up at the specified time, then it'll count as a forfeit for that particular sister, and you'll carry out the sentence as the judge decided. Extensions will NOT be given," he added, as he got into Ross' car, while Randy ushered the sisters into another large police car, where Lynn Jr was still tasered, but was slowly coming to.
"Ugh, what happened?" she slurred.
"You want us to start before or after your little tantrum? Basically, Lincoln has set up a wager that regardless of a win or loss, all nine of us will be loosing a sizable chunk of our summer," Lisa replied.
"Huh? What do you mean?" Lynn Jr. asked, as she was able to shake of the numb feeling. Her sisters then proceeded to explain everything to her, about the Duel, and the requirements to get out of it, "Stinkcoln wants me to apologize for being right, and looking out for my team's winning streak?! How low is that jinx going to go?!" she exclaimed.
"The judge had accepted his proposal, and the sentence is now set in stone. Unless you apologize, we have no way out of this, except learning how to play Duel Monsters," Lucy replied.
"Well, it should be a cakewalk for us if Stinkcoln is our opponent. He's an amateur and the Loud Family's designated looser. At least I'll be able to avenge my loss for that game he ruined," Lynn replied.
"I wouldn't be too sure. Remember the advertisement for that Open Tournament he had announced? It would appear that he's the current champion for Royal Woods," Lisa replied.
"Then the Royal Woods division must be pretty weak if that looser is a champion," Lynn snarled.
"No matter what the standards, we may be in way over our heads with this. Did you dudes see the looks on our friend's faces? It looks like the court case has turned them and probably all of Royal Woods against us," Luna pointed out.
"We just need to win against Stinkcoln and reclaim our honor. Once we do that, we can get Lincoln banished from Royal Woods, and things will go back to normal. Easy peasy," Lynn replied nonchalantly. They soon arrived at a place that looked like a jailhouse.
"Why are we here?" Lana asked.
"This will serve as your dwellings for the time being. You'll get warm food, and proper shelter and plumbing. Each morning until the Duel, you'll be taken to the Rec Center to begin your lessons in Duel Monsters," Randy replied, as he let his nieces out, and ushered them inside.
The Next Day,
The Loud Sisters had woken up to have some breakfast, Alright everyone, since our first Duel Monsters training session is later this afternoon, we have plenty of time to kill. How about we hit the mall?" Leni suggested.
"Sounds good, but you make it sound like we're going to the training session," Lori replied.
"Yeah, we're NOT going to play things by Stinkcoln's book!" Lynn added.
"I would recommend we DO go to the training session. Remember all the coniditons Lincoln put forth at the trial?" Lisa asked.
"He was just bluffing," Lola dismissed.
"Yeah, no way he would have ANY of us sent to the Facility, or to Boot Camp," Lana added.
"He sounded pretty serious to me, just like the judge," Lucy replied.
"This is a family matter, Lucy. No one, not even a judge in a court of law, has any right to butt in on something that doesn't concern them," Lori replied.
"Except when laws are broken, and we all had a hand in breaking several major ones," Lisa countered.
"Again, it's just another one of Stinkcoln's ploys to make us all look bad. Like there is a law against kicking out a minor," Lynn countered.
"But there is, and our parental units are paying for our selfishness," Lisa countered back.
"'OUR SELFISHNESS'?! What about Lincoln?!" Lola exclaimed.
"Yeah, that dork did a lot of stuff out of HIS own selfishness!" Luan added.
"His offenses are punishable, at most, with a slap on the wrist. Our deeds, on the other hand, are punishable by jail time, and possibly becoming social pariahs," Lisa countered.
"We'll become fish?!" Leni exclaimed.
"Not piranhas, PARIAHS. In other words, outcasts, undesirables, nobodies," Lisa clarified.
"Look Lisa, just because you were right about Lincoln's trap doesn't mean you're right about us being social outcasts. Lets just head to the mall, and put all this behind us," Lori replied, as they all finished their breakfasts, and proceeded to leave the building.
"Where are you all going?" Randy asked, as they were just about to leave
"We're going to the mall to do some serious shopping. Yesterday's circus left a bad taste in my mouth," Luna replied.
"Yeah, plus we have all kinds of events going on that we need to go to," Lola added.
'Man, will these girls ever be in for a rude awakening,' Randy thought to himself, "Alright, just make sure you're at the Rec Center for your Duel Monsters Lessons," he said.
"Yeah right, we're not going to play Drool Monsters, so we're not going to bother showing up," Lynn said.
"Yeah, that's not how it's going to work," Randy said.
"What do you mean?" Lori asked.
"The judge issued a court order for you girls to show up for your Duel Monsters lessons. You have to show up either on your own accord, or if several officers have to drag you there by force," Randy replied.
"We'll keep that in mind, but for now, we're focusing on what WE want to do," Lynn said, as they all made their way to the mall.
"Man, Rita and Lynn did a terrible job raising those girls," Randy commented.
