Sasuke felt both annoyed and nervous. He should've expected Shikamaru's confrontation but for some reason, it hadn't quite hit him yet. He held onto hope that Shikamaru wasn't confronting him about drugs and feined idiocy.
"What?" Asked Sasuke. Shikamaru sighed. "Look. I know your life hasn't been the best but.." He crossed his arms in distress. "Look, you smell like alcohol and that guy you talked to was obviously a druggie."
Shikamaru was never an idiot. Sasuke knew that. Why didn't he cover his tracks better? "Your friends aren't exactly goodie two shoes either. What's been going on with you?" Sasuke didn't answer.
"Sasuke, I know we're not best friends but Naruto cares about you and I've known you for a long time; you're my peer. Why have you been doing things like drugs?" Sasuke felt surprisingly confused.
Why did Shikamaru care that he did drugs? Shikamaru himself said they weren't best friends. Not only that but Sasuke was having a hard time seeing drugs as bad. They'd only done good things for him so what was so wrong with doing them?
Didn't Shikamaru understand that drugs were making him happy? Sasuke asked the first thing that came to his mind. "What's wrong with drugs?" Shikamaru sighed a second time. He was too lazy for this.
"Look. I'm not going to stop you. Not unless it affects the people around you. But addiction ruins lives. One more question before we leave. Who was that guy?" Sasuke started to feel annoyed. "None of your business."
Shikamaru scratched the back of his head. "What a drag." And Sasuke washed his mouth out. Shikamaru's eyes didn't leave him until he left the bathroom. In a strange way, Sasuke felt a sense of trust towards Shikamaru after their conversation.
The sense of trust came from the fact that Shikamaru said he wouldn't tell anyone. But, still; Sasuke should be annoyed with him and not feel like he's trustworthy. Sasuke walked to the table and sat down. He was just glad that was over.
Shikamaru sat at the table five minutes after him and they all finished eating. When they finished, they all went to their cars and went home. Sasuke got in Naruto's car and Naruto drove him home.
Sasuke forgot about being late. Kakashi was waiting for him when Naruto dropped him off. Only then did Sasuke remember. "So, Sasuke. Are you okay?" Kakashi asked when they got in the house.
Sasuke's eyes widened. He thought for sure Kakashi would be punishing him for lying. "You've been acting strange lately."
Sasuke was starting to feel stressed again and scratched at his arm. "Yeah. I've been fine. Just a bit stressed lately because of everything going on with Itachi."
It was half true. He was, indeed stressed because of what'd been going on with Itachi but his behavior had changed because of the drugs.
Kakashi looked at Sasuke understandingly. "I see." Sasuke felt only slightly bad for lying, especially when Kakashi was so cool about it. But it had to be done. For both his and Kakashi's sakes.
"Look, Sasuke. I'm sorry for not telling you this sooner but Itachi might be back soon. I didn't say before because I didn't want to get your hopes up. But after seeing how much stress it's been causing you, I think I should've told you sooner."
Sasuke didn't know whether to be angry or strangely grateful. Angry because Kakshi kept it from him and if he'd told him sooner, he might not have turned to drugs. Grateful because Sasuke was, in a way, glad he got into drugs. Now he had a vice other than cutting if he ever needed one in the future.
An extra vice meant an extra reason to live. So instead of deciding whether he's angry or grateful Sasuke stayed silent and just nodded in understanding. Kakashi tried to read his face.
It wasn't like Sasuke to just calmly accept things. Especially when it came to his brother. But he was also glad that Sasuke wasn't angry. So he left it at that. They both got up and went to their rooms. Depression kicked in again and Sasuke felt terrible.
Stress was really taking over his life. He needed to cut. Sasuke took out one of his hidden razor blades and went into the bathroom. He was apparently more stressed than he thought because when he looked at his arms, he felt the urge to just slash the shit out of them until they were a bloody mess.
He followed that urge and made one large, deep cut on his left arm followed by a series of angry slashes landing all over it. Blood flowed and when he finished 12 minutes later, his whole arm was wet and sore.
Sasuke turned the sink wayer on and washed his arm off. It burned badly. Even worse was when he wrapped his arm in a dry towel. When he did that, his arm was engulfed in searing pain and it hurt so bad that he questioned himself.
Why did he do this to himself? He knew it would hurt. Then; that was the point. To make it hurt like hell. After all, Sasuke deserved it. He deserved to hurt like hell. The towel was stuck to his arm from the sticky blood that was still flowing and he had to peel the towel off.
Sasuke pulled his sleeve over his arm and went to his room. He felt exhausted and tired so after listening to some music while lying down, he fell asleep.
