Ch. 7
Honest emotions.
Henrik went up to the bathroom and freshened up. He took his glasses off and splashed water on his face . He needed to face the music. He knew deep down that Russ could make him happy; and Russ was happy to do that. He gave his face a rub as he internally told himself to be brave. He came down the stairs to find Russ waiting for him on the sofa. He sat down next to Russ and lightly touched his knee. He took a sigh, "I um, I want to talk."
Russ gave an understanding smile, "So do I, so do I." Russ passed Henrik a glass of wine, "Not that I'm trying to get you drunk; but I just want you to relax."
Henrik laughed, " Think it will take more than a glass of Malbec to get me to relax; maybe a vineyard. "
Russ threw his head back and laughed, "Yes probably true." He then looked at Henrik square in the face, "So, do you want to go first?"
Henrik pulled one of his many awkward faces, "Ah, now I feel rather on the spot here so bear with me. I felt it necessary to come and see you today but I am still trying to get my head around it... us."
Russ nodded and reached out for Henrik's hand as Henrik continued, "I don't think anyone understands me quite like you do, which is unsurprising, given that I don't understand myself at times. I do not want to be a burden to you."
Russ looks confused, "A burden, how so?"
At this point, without realising it, Russ has hold of both of Henrik's hands and is facing him straight on. Henrik finds the courage to continue. "I... come with baggage, the emotional kind. I do not want to hamper your progress, I know you suffered after Ami died. You do not need me getting in the way of your recovery, mentally."
Russ held back his tears as he explained, "Yes I have been through the mill. I am now coming through the other side. But you ask Billie; you are part of that recovery. Coming to Holby and reconnecting with you helped me enormously. Billie has said she has seen the old me coming back and she attributes that to you. And, before you say anything, I'm not looking to replace Ami, but move forward with my life; which is what he would want for me. It just so happens that I see a future... with you."
The cards were laid bare and it seems like the truth was the topic of conversation. Henrik needed to step up. "Look Russ, I am not sure I can give you what you need or expect. Despite what you say I am just not there yet."
"Henny, that's the thing. There are no needs or expectations. You be you and I shall be me. The rest will work out." Russ gave Henrik's hands a squeeze. "Now do not go over thinking things. I think it's time we retire to bed as someone as a long drive tomorrow."
Henrik nods, "As usual the voice of reason."
They stood and Russ gave Henrik a hug, albeit awkward given that Henrik was so much taller than Russ, and that it was unexpected. "Just remember Henny, no expectations. I just want us both to be happy."
