Yet again we were in the woods.
The Dreaded, wretched, monster infested woods.
"What made you come to the conclusion that the creature was in here?"
The Tall Man examined a dead stump with mushrooms that looked like the fingers of a dead man.
"I just have this sense.
This gut feeling. I can feel he's been here".
"How do you know this creature is a he?"
"Because men are assholes that's why.
No seriously most murders are committed by men especially those that are brutal in nature.
So I'd like to assume that this creature is of the male persuasion."
"Certainly sounds logical... harsh but still logical".
"Also most monsters hide out in these woods.
He might not live here but he'll come here to hide from the rest of humanity.
Monsters love to hide.
It's a common habit.
It's just in their nature to hide from humans."
The woods were unusually quiet today.
I could still feel a million eyes watching me; the eyes of the trees, the eyes of monsters of every kind, watching us and every move we made.
I could feel these eyes were angry, a anger that was festering and unseen by any human.
"I know this may be quite a inopportune time but may I ask you a question?"
The Tall Man inquired of me.
I was marching ahead of him, trudging through dead soggy leaves and water logged twigs on the ground.
A few brambles tore through my skin and in several places in my clothes as I sped through the woods.
A random branch brushed by my face and I my haste I found that my hands as well as my face was covered with various cuts and scrapes.
I could smell metal and when I touched my face I saw there were splotches of red on my fingertips.
"You are bleeding".
Jebadiah stated to me.
"Yes I'm well aware of that.
Anything else you want to tell me Captain Obvious?"
"No I simply wanted to ask what do you intend on doing if you indeed find this terrible creature?"
"I'll think of something in the meantime I'm busy".
I continued to ignore him but instead of going further into the forest, strangely enough it seemed I was planted onto the forest floor.
I peered down and I saw that tree roots had rather harshly curled around my feet and latched onto my ankles, pinning me firmly down to the forest ground.
"Here's something else obvious, you appear to be stuck.
How quaint.
Do you require my assistance perhaps?"
"Yes that would be helpful.
This is really strange.
I mean this is rather odd.
The trees don't usually act this way at least not when I'm around.
They usually do this to strangers.
The trees here they know me.
In fact they don't even mind me most days.
They rarely attack, they do like to play a occasional game with me, but they never show this kind of aggression towards me.
This is so weird.
Okay boys, this is enough rough play, let's play another game, one that requires me to actually move my feet.
Please let go and we'll play a little game.
I'll run and you can try and catch me.
We'll have a race to the cabin.
How does that sound?"
There were a few creaking groans but nonetheless the roots unfurled themselves from my feet and in turn they let go of my ankles so I was free to go.
"Well I don't think you're assistance is required after all.
Come now there's a cabin in the middle of woods.
It's straight ahead, let's go before they catch us".
I tried to race straight ahead but I felt a furious tug from behind me and I realized Jebadiah was holding onto my shoulders, preventing me from going any further.
"Let go of me, you wretch!"
I nearly screamed.
"You're still bleeding.
Blood is a common trigger for any monster.
I've seen what these trees can do.
I've seen them consume humans whole.
These trees are hungry.
Everything is hungry here.
If you don't attend to those bloody cuts of yours you may alert the entire forest of your presence.
Understand you're going to get yourself killed, if you keep bleeding like that.
You're swimming in shark infested waters right now.
Running right now we'll just leave trail of blood for them to follow."
"I'm not an idiot.
Look I don't have time for this.
Blood or no blood there is a cabin straight ahead and that's where that creature may be hiding.
We have to hurry".
"Oh you can hurry all you like but you can't outrun death remember.
Look if want to venture further into the woods with those nasty cuts, be my guest but I won't be there.
I'll be long gone from this place.
You go in, you go alone.
You don't want my assistance, no assistance will be given.
If you don't want my help you can very help yourself.
You want to die, you can die here alone.
I assure you I would lose very little sleep over you."
"Don't you dare threaten me!
I've been in these woods more times than you can count and I've survived every single time!"
"One of those days you may not be so fortunate.
Yes one of those days not even your innocence will save you".
"I am not innocent!!!! I've seen death, I've escaped death and confronted death so many times.
I was once a babe in the woods but now I'm no longer a simple child.
I lost that child long ago.
Long ago I lost that wide eyed innocence."
"I doubt it.
Oh by the way I am Death.
After you die I'll be sure to come back here and collect the rest of your remains, I do hope they keep that beautiful brain of yours intact.
I'd really hate to lose it".
He let go of shoulders and I could hear him turn from me and walk away.
"Wait...Would you really leave me here to die?"
"If that's your wish I will".
"I don't fear death but...I don't want to die just yet."
"So you do want my help after all?"
He had smug smirk on his face.
"Yes I do. Do you want me to beg for it?"
"No that won't be nessesary.
Now let me see your face."
His grey pallid fingers went to touch my skin but I locked my hand around his wrist and attempted to twist his hand away from me.
Somehow he overpowered me and he uses his incredible strength to twist my arm back behind me and pin my hand to my shoulder.
"Don't try to overpower me girl.
You won't win and you know it.
I could break you without even trying.
Look I don't wish to harm you but if you insist on fighting me I promise you that it will hurt... alot.
So how about we play nicely?"
"Okay my lesson is learned.
I'm already in pain anyhow.
Were you actually trying to break my arm?"
"Oh if I wanted to break your arm, you would be in alot more pain believe me.
Now please sit down and let me attend your wounds before those trees squeeze the life out of you."
"Okay. Fine.
Attend to my wounds.
It's not like it's a big deal.
I'm not really wounded, it's just a few scrapes.
Hardly grazed my skin if you ask me.
The blood will dry eventually."
"Dry blood still has a scent.
Your skin is so soft.
Soft like the skin of a child.
Hardly any lines have set in.
No wrinkles to speak of.
You must be very young.
I hope it's not to personal but how young are you exactly?"
I made my way to a fallen log and sat down.
"I'm 27. I'll be past my prime pretty soon.
I'm nearly 28 you see and then soon I'll be 30 and then it's all over for me."
"All over for what?"
"For everything.
Your chances of success go downhill when you turn 30.
For men it's different they don't lose anything except their 6 pack and their active lifestyle.
Women lose their jobs, their looks, their chance of ever finding a real man and having children, they lose respect and love as well as their waist line.
Women lose way too much if you ask me and it all happens when they get older and start aging."
"That's ridiculous.
You should know that women scientifically speaking aren't past their prime when they turn 30.
30 is considered by many to be the prime of a woman's life.
It's not until 45 when a woman is truly past her prime.
However considering what condition your skin is in at this moment you probably won't show any signs of age until you're at least 50. This won't hurt".
He took a white handkerchief from the inside of his black suit and dabbed the silky material on my face.
Tbe scrapes and cuts faded and the smell of blood evaporated into nothingness.
He did the same for my hands and the blood evaporated yet again and the cuts disappeared just like before.
"What is that some kind of magic handkerchief?"
"No, don't be ridiculous.
It's just a ordinary handkerchief that has merely been dipped in one of special serums.
In fact it's the same serum I used on your burns."
"You mean the yellow stuff.
The stuff that's the same color as your blood. You know I'm curious what you put in that stuff that makes it yellow.
I mean why yellow?
Is that some sort of hidden symbolism or what?"
"Getting suspicion again are we?"
"No I'm just curious.
Nothing wrong with being curious now is there?"
"Of course not.
You can be as curious as you want but I'm afraid I can't give out my formula to just anyone."
"I'm not just anyone but hey I'm not asking for a recipe. I'm not asking for a scientific break down of every ingredient.
I'm just just asking why it's that color that's all".
"Very well but you have to promise me that you will tell a soul of what I tell you."
"Oh I wouldn't dream of it.
I'll take it to the grave.
Don't worry I'll Silent as the grave as they say".
"I should hope so otherwise i may have to silence you myself... permanently."
"You don't have to tell me twice.
Now look who's rambling. You're really no better than I am at times you know that.
Gosh do you want me to vow in blood as well?"
"No not particularly.
Especially after I made the effort to clean you up.
I have no intention of giving you a exact formula but the serum is indeed that color for a reason.
It's yellow because the main ingredient is...a tiny bit...of my own plasma.
I hope you don't have a problem with that.
"Problem...no problem at all not unless of course I start turning into a monster.
Yet uh...that certainly explains it... the color and all of that.
So thank you for clarifying that but I believe we still have to outrun those killer trees...like now would be nice."
"I'm afraid that's quite impossible.
The Trees are way too close now
We'll have to take the dimensional forks."
"Where the fuck are we going to find dimensional forks in the middle of a forest?!!"
"I've especially designers the dimensional forks to be accessable in any and every area not to mention they are made to give me passage throughout all time and space.
So yes they can be found even in the middle of the woods.
All I have to do is summon.
You should really learn to relax, not be so upright... all that the stress can't be good for your health."
"I know I'm a bit manic at times.
I'm sorry, I'm just a born fighter so sometimes I fight even when it's not needed.
Then the fact I have these trust issues doesn't exactly make this any easier either
I guess it's just because I've been a detective too long".
"You're rambling again and isn't time for that.
You can ramble later but for now we need to make it to the the forks...quickly".
