I wanted to tear my hair out, scratch out my eyes or perhaps slice open my wrists.
It wasn't because I was suicidal or sick in the head, it was mostly out of frustration and that strange curiosity that creeping into my brain.
I reasoned that it was too drastic to take a knife to my wrists, maybe if I cut my finger instead just to see if i was in a dream.
If it hurt and it actually bled then I was awake but if I felt nothing and I remained uninjured it would have to be a dream.
Tearing out my hair seemed rather stupid and as for scratching out my eyes, well I wasn't that psychotic to do that.
I searched my room for something sharp.
I looked everywhere, even going as far to peruse under my bed.
I had no sharp object on my person either.
Then my fingers touched a flower like design with my initials sewn into the center of it.
It took me a moment to realize it was a pin.
It wasn't actually sewn into the material of my robe.
I clumsily unclasped the pin from my robe and I took the sharp end of the pin to my finger.
Just as the tip was going to puncture my skin, I heard Imagi cough rather expectantly from her cell.
It had been on purpose, the purpose was to get my attention.
"What are you doing?"
The flowered pin flipped out of my fingers onto to the floor.
"Nothing. Just readjusting my pin."
"Into your finger?
Interesting place to put that.
You know normally it goes into your clothes not into your skin."
"I am well aware of that.
You weren't supposed to see that at least I didn't expect you to see it.
I suppose you hate me still".
"You have me locked away in a cell with a padlock.
What makes you think I'm even fond of you?"
"Good point.
If this is indeed a dream it's really becoming quite tiresome."
"Oh Wow,so it's your dream to see me locked up behind bars.
Tell me are there any shackles or chains involved with this fantasy?
Perhaps you'd like to add a ball with my chain sir.
Would you like a foot rub with that as well sir?"
"That's not what I meant. I meant...oh I don't know what I mean...I just don't think any of this is real that's all.
Don't you ever feel like you're living a dream?"
"What a strange question.
I often wish my life was a dream but as far as feeling that my life is a dream the thought has never occured to me.
Yet I doubt if you care".
She gave me a harsh and smoldering gaze.
"I care more than you think, possibly more than you'll ever know yet I suppose that doesn't matter to you because you see me as a villain."
"You are a villain. You brought me here against my will.
You make people suffer and you enjoy it.
You belittle and bully people into submission.
You threaten, you lecture and you torture people.
You're terrible, You're twisted your deplorable not to mention despicable and disgusting.
You are devoid of any sympathy and any compassion.
You have no heart and therefore for no real emotions of your own.
You are a selfish man who lives for the mere worldly pleasures of this life.
You have no regard for any human life whatsoever, you are blind to the tears of the lowly and you turn your eyes from the blood of those that work under you.
So no my present opinion of you has not changed when last you left".
These were all the things I accused myself of being.
Every word she had spoken, had described someone I was so scared of becoming.
I wanted to cry but my eyes remained dry and unchanging.
"Aw then that's just your opinion.
That's what you believe, that's what you see inside your head, but that doesn't make it true.
I bet you I can change that opinion of yours."
"Don't be ridiculous. I despise you, you disgust me and what's more you happen to be against everything I believe in and everything I'm fighting for.
So that won't ever happen unless...unless...oh nevermind."
Yes unless I was nice;unless I was kind and compassionate.
Imagi told me one time that she would never believe that I cared for her just as long
as she remained in bondage.
Then a mad idea struck me.
I could let her go.
All I had to do was open up her cell and tell her she could leave.
She wanted freedom more than anything.
I could free her and then I wouldn't have to be the villain anymore.
I took out my yellow key and shook slightly with anticipation.
I inserted the key and twisted the key until I heard a hearty clanging click.
"What are you doing?"
I opened one of the cell door and motioned with my arm in a outward fashion, not just directing her out but displaying that I was allowing her to leave for good.
She didn't budge but remained seated on her twin bed that was in her cell.
"You may go.
You want to be free, go, leave, escape, fly away.
I'll call the guards off.
They won't hunt for you any longer.
You are free.
I'm granting you, your freedom."
"Is this some kind of trick?"
"No this is not a trick. Does it look like I'm joking?
I'm practically shaking, I'm perspiring, I'm a nervous wreck.
This isn't a act.
This is me not being a villain."
"Are you sure you haven't hit your head at anytime ?
I mean, seriously are you feeling alright?"
"How should I know? All I know is that I'm not crazy and I'm not sick, in fact physically I've never felt better.
Yes I'm selfish, yes I've been all those things that you've described to me but I am determined to be a better person.
You have to Believe me."
"Am I on Candid Camera?
Is this some kind of sick mind game you've arranged to play with me?"
"Don't you get it? I'm being serious.
I'm practically hysterical right now.
This isn't some one man play I'm putting on for you.
Really this isn't a performance.
I'm actually not such a bad guy.
I just got stuck with a bad guy role.
Oh that's it. That's brilliant. That's genius.
You were right. I'm not a villain at at all, I've just been assigned with the role of the villain.
Yes that's right.
It certainly sounds right anyway."
"You really are a mad monarch aren't you.
You're not just mad, you're absolutely bonkers.
You're totally off your rocker.
You know for a moment there you really had me going.
I mean for half a second I thought I was actually dealing with somebody in their right mind.
Yeah I just had that little spark of hope left that maybe somebody was looking out for me out there but that's been snuffed out thanks to you.
So thank you for entertaining me with that dramatic monologue.
I've got to admit that you have quite a way with words for somebody that's bat shit crazy.
So I don't think I'll be leaving the cell today but thanks for the offer anyway.
I think I'll wait for your little mental episode to pass before I venture outside, if that's okay with you".
"I don't believe this. I didn't even stutter yet still she thinks I'm a mental case.
If this is my dream, I don't want it anymore.
I demand to be awake!
This is not a dream anymore it's a nightmare!
Where the hell is that pin?"
I searched the rug with my finger whilst I crawled on my knees.
When I finally found the pin, I struck my finger but there wasn't any blood.
I struck another finger and there wasn't even a single bit of pain.
"No blood. See no blood. I am in a dream after all."
I held out the palm of hand in full display so I could show her my injured fingers yet the cell was empty and it was then I realized she was gone.
It was strange especially after she had claimed she was going to remain within the safety of her cell.
Something wasn't right about this.
So naturally I left my room in search of her.
Maybe I could convince her I wasn't crazy after all.
All I wanted was to talk with her, nothing more.
Somehow I don't think she was going to buy that.
She was most likely gone because I scared her away.
I was raving on like a basket case wandering around on my hands and knees before she left yet then a thought occured to me that maybe she hadn't left at all,maybe she was taken.
I could feel my stomach churn and it felt like it was currently upside down.
I bolted out the door of my room and went down a strange nightmarish hallway not quite sure where I was headed off to next.
