Episode 17: Her.
Life after death: a topic that has confounded humanity for ages. In the land of Teyvat, the mechanics of the afterlife are mostly a mystery. Depending on the country, the rules are different. Some have such abstract ideas as "purgatory", or "reincarnation", but one truth holds steady above all: no one actually knows what lies beyond that final plane.
Well, that isn't completely true. In the land of Liyue, there is an extra step before the soul departs for that unknown distant shore: a land on the border of life and death. The existence of such a place isn't often mentioned, and the ones who can actually visit there are very few. A foreigner like Diluc Ragnvindr could have never known about such a place. That is, before that letter arrived.
When he first read those impossible words, he couldn't believe his eyes. He could see her again? Insane. Absurd. It must be a scam. He didn't want to accept it at all. However, the letter was signed with a flourish that told him exactly who had sent it.
Your Friend,
Zhongli
P.S.: I hope my old friend in Mondstadt is doing well. I'm afraid I might have lied to you upon our first meeting. You probably do, in fact, know him well. If you happen to see a rather feminine-looking bard, send him my warmest regards.
Immediately he had known who sent the letter: that strange, overly-friendly man he met so long ago in Liyue. That face had flashed through his mind again, bringing back warm, yet painful memories of a long-gone spring night full of hope.
In a panic, he had scrambled to grab his coat, immediately heading for the Knights' headquarters. Now, he was only a few feet from the door. He shoved it open, immediately yelling out a name.
"Kaeya!"
He rushed to that man's office, yanking the door open like a soldier raiding a criminal hideout. Kaeya leapt from his seat in alarm.
"Wh-what the hell, Diluc? You trying to finally kill me?"
"Shut up and listen. I have a mission for you."
Kaeya sighed in annoyance as he felt himself being dragged into something yet again.
"No thanks, sounds like trouble."
But Diluc wasn't joking around. In a deeply serious tone, he continued.
"Please, hear me out. I need to return to Liyue, and I'd prefer not to go alone. I need backup in case this is some sort of scam or trap, and I can't trust just anyone with this."
Diluc delivered that last line with the face of someone eating a sour pickle.
"Look, try not to let your real thoughts show so easily, alright?"
"Sure, if that means you'll come."
"I don't get it. What's this all about? I'm not doing anything until you explain yourself."
Diluc lowered his head, knowing he was about to start a fire.
"I received a letter that said there's a way I can see Keqing again. It might be bullshit, but I can't live with myself if I don't at least give it a try."
At this, Kaeya was truly shocked. His eyes widened in disbelief.
"You- Listen here, do you know what you're saying? Jean is-"
"I understand the implications, yes. Still, please come with me. I have to go."
Kaeya lowered his gaze. He stood there deep in thought for a while, before finally answering.
"Alright, I'll go. This is most likely a trap, after all. Can't have you dying, it would make Jean sad."
In response, Diluc unexpectedly gave a small bow.
"I'm in your debt. Just please, keep this to yourself for now."
Kaeya raised an eyebrow before retorting.
"Even more so for hiding this from Jean. Dammit, Diluc, you just can't leave well enough alone, can you?"
"When it comes to her, no. It's one of my biggest flaws."
"Sigh, don't brag while pretending to be humble like that. It creeps me out."
Diluc expelled air out his nose mockingly, then took out the letter.
"Alright then, take a look at this…"
It didn't take long for the men to work up a plan of action. They would travel to Liyue the next morning, reaching the assigned meeting place some time in the afternoon. That place was one that he had heard of before: Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. That man named Zhongli was apparently a consultant there. Diluc couldn't help but think that an odd match given his personality.
The next day, Diluc and Kaeya made tracks, burning up the road to Liyue. Diluc was in such a hurry that Kaeya almost lost sight of him a few times, but eventually they both made it to Liyue Harbor in one piece. Around noon, they made their way into the city towards Wangsheng.
A tiny bell rang out as they opened the front door of the Parlor. A proper-looking woman was behind the counter. She spoke up as they entered.
"Welcome, what can I do for you two?"
"We're here to see someone named Zhongli. He said he'd be waiting here for us."
"Ah, right, he did say he might have visitors soon. Unfortunately, he is out for lunch right now. Please come back in about an hour, gentlemen."
"Got it. Thanks."
As quickly as they came in, the two men left.
"Well, now what? Should we search for him in this city?" Kaeya said, stretching out his arms dramatically.
"No, he'll be here soon. While we wait, there's someone else I want to see."
Kaeya didn't ask, but just nodded. Diluc took off again, heading to Yujing Terrace. Someone precious was inside, someone not expecting a sudden visit.
A blue-haired, horned woman sat behind her desk, working steadily. As secretary of the Qixing, her work never ended, even more so since the loss of their best worker. This woman had done her best to bridge that gap since then, after taking the time necessary to heal her broken heart. Working her fingers to the bone was her way of making things up to Keqing, if only in a small way.
A knock came at her door without warning. She raised her head questioningly before speaking up.
"Yes? Who is it?"
"An old friend," a deep voice replied.
Ganyu rushed to the door, flinging it open to see that familiar red-headed man standing on the other side.
"Diluc!"
Her eyes lit up, and she smiled at him brightly.
He looked her in the eyes, smiling back at that precious soul. A flood of feelings came rushing back, making him realize just how much he cared about her, despite their short time together. With attempted poise, he greeted her.
"Good to see you again, Ganyu."
Tears welled up in her purple eyes as she stared at him, trying to contain herself. However, she failed, and rushed forward, wrapping him in a tight hug. Diluc put his arms around her and held her tenderly as she cried tears of simultaneous joy and pain.
For a while, they just stayed like that, until Ganyu finally pulled herself together again. For once, Kaeya didn't have anything to interject. It seemed that even someone like him could feel the significance of this moment.
After that, the two shared stories from their time apart, catching up on goings on from Mond and Liyue alike. They laughed, reminiscing on the short-lived good times they spent together, and Ganyu threatened to cry several times. An hour passed in the blink of an eye, and soon it was time for Kaeya and Diluc to go.
"Sorry we can't stay longer, but we have an important meeting. Plus, I hate to distract you from work," Diluc said with a chuckle.
Ganyu laughed and replied with a wave of her small hand.
"There's no end to it, so a little delay won't hurt. Please stay in touch, okay?"
"Will do. Take care, Ganyu."
"Mm. You too, Diluc."
Diluc smiled at the blue-haired woman, then reluctantly left her behind.
With a myriad of emotions swirling in his chest, Diluc strolled out the front door of the building, heading back towards Wangsheng. Kaeya followed closely, and spoke up on the way.
"Are you alright with leaving things like that? You could have told her about Keqing, right?"
"No, that was never possible."
"Huh?"
"I have to do this on my own. Ganyu can't be allowed to see this."
"A little selfish, don't you think?"
"Maybe so, but I won't apologize. That's just how deep my feelings are for her."
Kaeya exaggeratedly put his hand over his face with a sigh, shaking his head.
"Don't let Jean hear that."
"She already did."
Kaeya's eyes widened. This red-haired man was full of surprises today.
"You really are something else."
As Kaeya lamented, they drew near to the Parlor again. And this time, standing outside was a familiar, strangely-dressed man.
"Zhongli?" Diluc queried.
"Ah, stranger! You came after all. I'm both glad and saddened that you made this choice."
"Wait, what?"
"I should explain, shouldn't I?"
"I'd appreciate it if you did."
"Come, let us take a seat first."
Zhongli gestured to a nearby bench, where a cat was lazily sleeping nearby. The two men took a seat. Kaeya nodded to Diluc, and stood a distance away, leaning against a wall.
"I suppose I should start from the beginning. I knew that girl well, and I was heartbroken by what happened to her. When I saw a fine young man like you with her, stranger, it brought me much joy. I offer my most sincere condolences for her loss."
"Thank you very much."
"Certainly. Now, to get to the main point. Our director has a rather unique ability, as you saw in the letter. She often visits a place near the "border" between life and death. It doesn't have a single name: some have called it "purgatory", but that isn't quite right. It is a place where souls remain if they hold on to lingering regrets at their time of death. Hu Tao, our director, is in charge of performing rituals there that allow those poor souls to pass on to the other side."
The strange man reached down to scrub the cat between the ears as he spoke, and it purred appreciatively.
"Wait, so you're saying that she's…"
"I'm afraid so. On one such trip, Hu Tao discovered that Lady Keqing has not passed over yet. She remains even now in that borderland, alone."
Diluc's head spun. A sudden rush of blood to his brain made his head feel light, and his hands began to shake.
"No… No way… That's impossible!"
"I'm afraid you're wrong, stranger. That's why I called you here. Hu Tao could not console her alone. I think it's best if you hear the details from the director herself, but to sum up the situation, we cannot help her cross over without you."
"Cross… over? So she's going to the afterlife…?"
"She must. That is the path we must all take. Staying in that place is not possible forever. Eventually, she might even become a powerful curse that would haunt this land. We must help her pass on before then. She has already been there a concerningly-long time, without us even knowing-"
"Wait. Hold on just a minute, let me process this. This is fucked!" Diluc interjected, holding his head in his hands.
"My apologies. As you say, it is indeed a very upsetting situation. Take your time."
Diluc let his mind comprehend what Zhongli had said. How long had she been there? Was she waiting on him to come find her? Was she alone, scared, broken…? These thoughts tormented Diluc. He shook his head, then turned to the man beside him with determination in his eyes.
"I'll do whatever you need me to do."
"Fantastic. I knew you were a man of action."
"You knew, huh? I've been meaning to ask you this, but how do you know so much about everyone? You talk like everyone is an old friend of yours."
"Ah, in my line of work, we pick up on lots of things, and meet many people. It's all part of my job, you could say."
"I've heard something similar from someone even more suspicious than you."
"Don't tell me you suspect me of some ill intent?"
"No, I don't think that's possible," Diluc said with a sigh.
"I see. Glad to hear it. If you are prepared, the director is in right now. She is ready to go when you are."
"I can go right now?" Diluc asked with hesitation.
"Yes, when you so desire. The sooner the better, that girl is waiting for you."
His mind was a mess. He had gone from accepting Keqing's death and starting to move on to being thrown right back into that painful inferno, perhaps even worse than before. Now he had even more to feel guilty about, knowing she had been trapped in "purgatory" all this time while he lived it up in Mond… The sudden revelation gave him whiplash; he couldn't keep up.
However, if it was for her, he couldn't hesitate.
"Give me a few minutes."
"As you wish, stranger."
"Call me Diluc. I'd like to think we're close enough for that."
Zhongli gave a fond smile tinged with an indiscernible emotion.
"Certainly, Diluc."
Kaeya's face looked like he had seen a ghost when Diluc explained the situation to him.
"So Liyue has a form of "purgatory"? Even I didn't know of this. I can't believe it…"
Kaeya trailed off, looking disconcerted.
"I didn't know either. Dammit!"
"Don't blame yourself. You can still make it right."
Diluc was surprised by Kaeya's sharply discerning, yet kind words.
"I know. Thanks. I will definitely make it right."
The two men were sitting outside the funeral parlor, sipping from drinks they had bought at a nearby stand. The fruity flavor of the cold drinks contrasted heavily with the mood, making Diluc a bit annoyed. However, now wasn't the time for trivialities.
"He said I have to go alone. Sorry, but I'll be leaving you here for a while. Don't get lost or contract a venereal disease in the meantime, got it?"
Kaeya lowered his drink slowly, turning towards Diluc.
"Did my ears just deceive me? Haahhh. I guess you're fine if you can joke around like that."
"I wasn't particularly joking, but you're right. I'm fine. I have to do this. I won't fail."
"As long as that's true, I'll overlook various other things."
"I'd appreciate it if you did."
Silence fell over the two men. They finished the rest of their drinks (Kaeya's smelling suspiciously of alcohol), and Kaeya spoke up.
"Just tell me one thing before you go. Do you love her more than Jean?"
"W-What the hell?" Diluc spluttered, nearly spitting out the last sip of his drink.
"I'm serious. You're going down a road that you probably can't turn back from. Will it be worth the sacrifice?"
Diluc was silent for a while. He was taken aback by this serious Kaeya, a rare, mythical being that only showed up once or twice in aeons. But his heart had known his answer from the very beginning, from the first time his eyes had rested upon those fateful words in that letter.
"Of course."
Two men slunk into the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. Waiting inside was a young chuuni-looking girl who seemed like she probably hadn't grown any hair down there yet. Diluc looked around, confused, wondering where the director was.
"Hey, what's with that expression? I'm right here."
The girl spoke in a playful voice full of mischief, a tone entirely unbefitting an employee of a funeral parlor.
"Y-You're the director?" he muttered.
"Yep! That's me, Hu Tao! Seventy-seventh director of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor!"
Kaeya put his hand on his forehead, looking down.
"I… see…" said Diluc.
Maybe this is a scam after all. Am I gonna be killed today?
"I'm glad you came so quickly. We're really in a bit of a pinch, see? We can't let it get out that someone as important as her is stuck over there without passing on. We'd be joining her soon if the wrong person found out."
Diluc was irritated already. This girl's flippant attitude toward the whole thing was annoying, disgusting even.
"Why are you acting like this is some kind of joke?" Diluc growled under his breath.
In response, Hu Tao's unique star-printed pupils widened a bit, and a look of shame crossed her face.
"Oh, sorry! Sorry! I'm just used to this sort of thing, I didn't mean to be disrespectful or anything."
Diluc sighed. He understood, but was still a bit irritated.
"Nah, I'm just a bit on edge. My bad."
"It's fine, no worries. Oh, that's right. I should tell you what we're about to do, shouldn't I? Right, right. So the "land between" is a place where the dead go if they have regrets tying them to this world. It's one of my jobs to help them pass on. This can be done by bringing them something of significance to help them come to terms with things, or by convincing them that they no longer have regrets. The second one is probably more relevant here, since… well… come over here where we can talk privately."
Diluc and Kaeya followed her to her office, where Kaeya stayed outside. After shutting the door, Hu Tao began speaking again.
"Listen, you should be prepared before we go in there… it isn't pretty. She was almost inconsolable when I found her. She was crying out for her mommy and daddy, and "Diluc". We had a hell of a time finding you, but Zhongli just happened to know who you were."
Diluc looked down with bitterness staining his face.
"It probably goes without saying, but I want you to talk to her. She needs to get rid of her regrets before she can move on. It's… probably gonna be really rough, since you loved her. Zhongli told me about it."
"Yeah… but I have to do it. This chance is a blessing in a way, I'll finally get to tell her what I should have all along."
"I see. You're really strong, huh?"
"No, I've just learned how to fake it," Diluc said with a self-deprecating laugh.
"Well in any case, it's about time to head over there. Are you prepared?"
"I'll never be prepared for this. But, I'm ready."
"Gotcha," Hu Tao said with a warm grin.
The two left her office, picking up Kaeya along the way. With a cheeky wave to the receptionist, Hu Tao led them outside. Kaeya took a seat on a nearby bench, giving Diluc a "thumbs up". The pair then took the main street past Diluc's old part-time residence, bringing back many memories of days now long gone. The path they took led them past the pond, over a few wooden bridges, and finally towards a familiar small canyon. Diluc's heart began to race as he neared the terrible destination.
The sun was starting to sink low in the sky when they arrived, dying the sky in colors of yellow and orange. At last, Hu Tao stopped at a place that made Diluc want to turn and run.
"We're here. She's been waiting right here for a while now. Are you ready?"
"We can get there from here?"
"Mm. When someone is stuck in that world, there are often "seams" near them. That's how we'll get there."
"I see."
Diluc stared at the plot of ground where Keqing had breathed her last. The bloodstains that marked her gruesome death were long gone by now, and a small, lovely, pure-white flower was blooming nearby. If you didn't know better, you might say that nothing bad had ever happened here.
Gathering his courage, Diluc said the words Hu Tao was waiting for.
"Let's go."
"Roger!"
Stepping forward with purpose, Hu Tao reached out her hand, as if feeling for something in the dark. Soon, she found the place she was seeking. She stretched out her other hand behind her, looking for Diluc's.
"It's right here. Grab my hand so you don't get lost on the way."
"Lost…?"
"Don't worry, just trust me."
And so Diluc reached out, grasping that small hand in his. And before he knew what was happening, the world shifted around him. Like a kaleidoscope, the mountains and stones rearranged themselves in a way that made his head spin. It was beyond comprehension. But as soon as it began, it ended, and a regular-looking world returned.
Diluc glanced around, wondering if it had failed. However, he didn't get to ask Hu Tao that question before it was answered for him in the most heart-rending way possible.
It was her.
Illuminated by the faint amber light of sunset, she was huddled against a decaying stone pillar, her hands around her knees. Her amethyst eyes were red and swollen as she stared at the ground, and all in all, she looked more like a lost child than the strong woman Diluc had last seen.
"Ke…qing…" he whispered, his voice barely responding to his request to make a sound.
After everything they had been through, this was what awaited them at the end.
Upon hearing his weak voice, Keqing looked up for the first time since their arrival. When she did, words could never fully describe the look that came over her face. Joy, sorrow, love, nostalgia, indescribable pain… all of those and more were all wrapped up in a tapestry that decorated her face alone.
Diluc's eyes immediately began to fill with tears when he saw that look. He lunged forward not a moment too soon, wrapping Keqing up roughly with his strong arms.
"Keqing! Keqing!"
"Dilu…c?!"
Her voice was almost squelched by his strong embrace, but she didn't complain. She put her small, pale arms around his broad back and hugged with all her might. In that moment, everything else slipped away into nothing. Hu Tao, the mountains, the sunset, none of it mattered even one single bit. The world was once again theirs.
"Keqing, I'm so sorry! I'm… sorry I let you die! God… if I could only have… been there to protect you!"
Diluc was sobbing, struggling to get out his words.
"But how could you have known?! It was so unexpected! I was so scared, and nobody came to help me! It hurt so much! Diluc!"
Keqing wailed, letting out all of the sadness she had accumulated in her months alone in this world, a world with nothing but feelings left in it.
"I'm so sorry! I left so many things unsaid! Please forgive me, Keqing!"
The two sobbed and cried, apologizing to one another over and over. After a while, they finally composed themselves enough to start speaking normally.
"I'm so glad you came here… I missed you so much… I was so lonely…"
Her earnest, frank words were like knives piercing his heart. He had already gone well below 0 HP, but somehow he continued on through sheer willpower and love.
"I missed you too. Life almost wasn't worth living without you."
"Hehe, sniff, I'm glad you kept living though. And you came for me in the end. I guess you really did love me as much as I loved you, huh?"
"No, I loved you way more."
At that clichéd line, Keqing chuckled heartily through her tears.
"Wha-?"
"I'm sorry, it's just… that was so silly… sniff… I always wanted someone to tell me something like that…"
"Then I'll tell you as many times as it takes to make you happy."
Keqing's smile was bright, framed by wet streams on her cheeks that reflected the waning light of evening. She shook her head, looking down, then spoke again.
"Diluc, I love you so much. I wanted to spend so much more time with you… I wanted to be with you forever…"
"Mm."
"I wanted to see so many things with you."
"Mm."
"I wanted to spend every festival with you until we got too old to make it up that hill anymore."
"M…m."
"I wanted to see the cherry blossoms in Inazuma, and see Mondstadt in winter, when the first snow falls… I wanted to see the whole world with you by my side. But now, I can't… can I?"
"A-ahhh…"
Those heartbreaking words finally caused Diluc to break down again. He sobbed, holding Keqing in his arms like a sinking man holding on to his last hope.
Diluc didn't see it, but nearby, Hu Tao was watching the scene intently. Tears were streaming down her face, and her mouth hung open listlessly. From time to time, she stifled back sobs, trying her very best to remain somewhat professional. But even someone like her couldn't take something like this.
"Keqing, I'm so sorry I never told you how much I loved you."
Her eyes widened for an instant, then she smiled warmly at the man before her.
"It's okay, I know you held a lot inside. I wanted so much to support you until you could smile with true joy again. I'm sorry I couldn't."
Diluc took her hands in his, wrapping them up as if to protect them. His brow furrowed as he replied.
"No, don't apologize. I should have been more open with you. Keqing, I love you so much. You meant more than anything to me…"
Keqing stared at Diluc with a child-like wonder as he poured out every single word he had kept inside.
"I can finally tell you the truth… I wanted to marry you one day. I wanted you to be my wife. I wanted your smiling face to be the first thing I saw when I came home. I know we didn't even spend that much time together in the big picture, but I already knew… You were the one."
Keqing's eyes overflowed again as Diluc delivered a proposal that could never possibly come to fruition, painting a picture of a future that would never exist in her mind. She choked back a sob, then spoke with a beautiful smile through her tears.
"I'd have been the happiest girl alive."
In that moment, in a far corner of his heart, Diluc wished he could just die with her right then. Perhaps then he would have some small chance of seeing her again. But reality was not that kind, and Hu Tao's soft voice interrupted the warmth of the moment.
"We can't stay here much longer, Diluc. It's almost time."
Diluc lowered his head, then nodded.
"Keqing, I want you to cross over now. This place isn't where you should be. You should be with your parents… over there."
Diluc gazed at the orange ocean, past the distant shores of Inazuma, past the unknown world beyond, and imagined a place he had never seen.
Keqing gave a small nod as she replied.
"Mm. I know. I'm sorry, I stayed here waiting… hoping you would come one day. It was really selfish of me, wasn't it?"
"If that's selfish then I deserve to die in your place."
"Don't say that. I'll be okay now. I'll see my parents again, right? I wonder if they're doing okay… Dad was always so hopeless without Mom, I hope they found each other already… I have to tell them about you."
Keqing rubbed her eyes, wiping away the tears that had overflowed again.
"I see… so it's time to say goodbye, huh…?" she said in an incredibly small voice.
"Yeah, it's time. This time, we get to do it right," Diluc said, smiling fondly at her.
"That's right… I guess we're really lucky huh? Hehe."
Keqing chuckled again, then sniffled.
"Yeah, not many people get to do this," Diluc said, his voice about to break.
"In that case, we have to do it right," Keqing said, smiling broadly at him.
And in response, he took her in his arms. She closed her eyes, and he kissed her deeply. All of the feelings, all of the words left unsaid, they all flowed between the point of connection at that moment. As that tender kiss continued on and on, regrets were left behind, replaced by the sweet taste of a love that had transcended even death.
It tasted like home.
After a time that simultaneously seemed like an eternity and only a few seconds, they pulled back from that parting kiss, staring into each other's eyes, as if searching each other's souls.
And inside them, there was nothing but adoration.
"Thank you for everything, Diluc. I love you so much."
"I love you too, Keqing. Thank you for loving someone like me. I'll never forget you."
"Me either, I'll never forget… I promise…"
Diluc looked back and forth between her eyes, forever more beautiful than any jewel. It was finally time; they couldn't linger any longer. Keqing spoke up first, saying the dreaded words in a tiny whisper.
"Goodbye, Diluc."
"Not goodbye. It's "see you later". I'll be waiting for that day, even if it takes forever… Until then, so long, Keqing. Take care."
Her face lit up like the sun at midday with a smile so radiant it put all others to shame. He held her hands firmly in his, until they started to feel strangely light. He looked down, and saw his fingers through hers.
She was moving on.
Suddenly, thousands of glowing blue butterflies emerged from where she once was. They danced and flickered in the dim twilight, flapping their wings valiantly as they rose ever higher into the dark blue sky. With empty hands, Diluc watched as they fluttered away into the atmosphere, until they could no longer be seen.
For several minutes, that man just stared at the sky as it turned black. The first stars of evening twinkled away overhead, as if to celebrate a soul gone home. At least, that was what he told himself.
"Diluc, we should go now."
For the first time since arriving, Diluc turned towards Hu Tao. Her eyes were red, and more than just the pupils.
"Yeah, I know. Hu Tao… thank you so much."
In response, she roughly rubbed her eyes with the back of her sleeve, then delivered a big grin and a salute.
"Just doin' my job!"
Diluc smiled, then took her outstretched hand once again. Soon, the world twisted around them, signaling they were on the path home. Yes, it was time to return home, back to a world where she no longer existed. That distant silver shore that she was seeing now would have to wait a little longer. Soon enough, he would follow her, and he prayed from the bottom of his heart that she would still be waiting when he got there.
Ending Theme: 衣笠 道雄 - 愛する心 Music Box
Next:
Episode 18: By Seeking The Truth
