Episode 24: In Desperation


Brother - a word that holds countless connotations. The bond of a sibling is unlike any other, sometimes surpassing even the best of friends. That's how it was supposed to be. Sometimes, though, it just doesn't work out that way.

For well over ten years, the relationship between these two "brothers" had been strained at best. The young boy that had been abandoned at the Ragnvindr family home became a part of it, but he never truly belonged there. His true allegiance lay elsewhere, leaving his heart troubled and his affections divided.

Perhaps he had wished it could be different, perhaps many times. He hid behind a curtain of "humor" and buffoonery, when in reality his heart was in constant pain. He grew to accept that as a mere fact, a consequence of his silent betrayal of these kind people in the nation of Mondstadt.

But now, in light of the unthinkable truth facing him - along with the entire world - his worst fears were coming true. He had lived his life at a distance from those most precious to him, with nothing to show for it. Now, it seemed this story would end abruptly, rendering his allegiances null, and his mission meaningless.

It was because of that fact that he made his decision: he would tell his brother everything.


Opening Theme: My First Story - Home


Diluc's eyes were wide as he studied Kaeya's face. It was deadly serious, unlike any that he had seen that man make in years. That reality slowly sank in as Kaeya sauntered over and took a seat at the bar.

"Ahh, I sure am feeling thirsty. Too bad there's no bartender, right?" Kaeya said with a smirk.

Diluc gave a small chuckle, and took his place behind the bar, a place where he had spent so many lively evenings. Perhaps this was the final time he would ever take that position.

"What're you having?"

"The usual."

"You got it."

Diluc went to work preparing Kaeya's favorite drink: a strong cocktail known to some as "Death in the Afternoon". As his hands moved deftly, Kaeya spoke up behind him.

"I'm sure you're wondering what I was talking about, huh?" he said with some hesitation.

"I have a few ideas. But I won't know until you get on with it."

"I see. Yeah, you're right," Kaeya said with a laugh. "Guess I should start at the beginning. You already know I wasn't just some random stray that your family took in. I had a mission here, one given to me by my people. I believe we discussed that back then."

Diluc's brow furrowed, but Kaeya couldn't see it. He kept his back turned as that man continued.

"Diluc, my purpose here has always been to spy on Mondstadt for my nation… the nation of Khaenri'ah. One day, I might have betrayed the people of this country had I been given the chance."

"I see. So it's as I expected, then."

"Perhaps so. You were the only one who knew most of the truth, after all. But that isn't all of it."

Diluc turned around with Kaeya's drink, one eyebrow raised as he pushed it across the counter.

"A lot of memories have come flooding back to me lately. Perhaps… I'm not even who I thought I was. That story Dainsleif told… No, I must be wrong about that."

Kaeya's face looked downcast, but he quickly rebounded and continued.

"In any case, the real truth isn't that I'm a spy, or anything like that. What I really want to say is… I'm sorry, Diluc. I wish I could have been a better brother all this time."

"Huh?" Diluc said flatly, disbelieving his ears.

Kaeya sighed deeply, then continued.

"I spent so many years waiting for a chance that never came. And even if it had, could I have even taken it? I may not seem like it, but I love this country and the people here. They are like family to me, and the highest on that list is you, my brother."

"H-Hey now, you haven't even had your drink yet, and you're talking like this?"

"I'm serious. This is no time to be sly. We're approaching something irreversible, I can feel it in my bones. I don't want to leave any regrets behind."

With that, Kaeya stood from his seat, and placed his arms at his sides. Then, he bowed deeply to the red-haired man behind the counter.

"I'm truly sorry for everything. And I'm sorry I won't get the chance to make up for all those lost years."

Diluc didn't know what to say. He was stunned at this display. His mouth hung open for a while, then he finally spoke.

"Stand up, Kaeya. This is too much."

"Haha, perhaps so. I wanted to make sure you got the message," he said sheepishly, with one hand behind his head.

"I get it. And… I accept it. After all, you weren't the only one living a double life."

"That is true. Perhaps that fact was the only thing that kept us from killing one another."

"You don't know how close I came a few times, believe me."

Kaeya chuckled heartily, then took his seat again, taking a long sip of his cocktail. Diluc spoke up again.

"You aren't the only one with regrets, though. All the anger and sadness I felt at my father's death, then hearing what you told me that night… I've been harboring that resentment all these years."

"I know. I shouldn't have said anything that night. It was the worst thing I could have done," Kaeya said, showing genuine remorse on his face.

"I hated you for many years, Kaeya. But after I lost her… I just couldn't keep hating you anymore. What the hell happened to me? This is pathetic," Diluc said, laughing in self-deprecation.

Kaeya gave a half smile, looking down at his drink before answering.

"That girl was a miracle, wasn't she?"

Diluc felt his eyes burning, as he had many times before.

"Yeah, she was," he replied softly.

"You want to see her again, right? That's why you agreed to Dain's plan?"

Diluc looked away, his eyes narrowing. That flashy man could be way too discerning at times.

"…I don't know what to do. My heart says I should try if its possible, but I just can't wrap my mind around everything. It's all too sudden."

"I agree. He could have given us more warning, that bastard."

Kaeya took a huge gulp of his cocktail, draining half of it in one go.

"Now now, don't get too crazy. We still have to meet that bastard soon," Diluc said with a smirk.

"I know. And I'll be there. I can't miss the end of my own shitty tale, now, can I?"

"Who said this was your story?" Diluc chuckled.

For the first time in years, the two brothers shared a heartfelt laugh in the quiet bar. Memories ran through their minds, reminding them of countless nights spend in that place, surrounded by lively townsfolk. They had taken that time for granted, but now, those memories were incredibly precious reminders of an everyday life that was coming to an end.

"So, are you going to settle things with Jean?"

Diluc's grin was wiped away in an instant. He sighed deeply before responding.

"Yeah, I'm going to. After all, I did something truly awful to her."

"Looks like you at least understand that much. Though, I can't judge you. I get it. People get lonely."

"That doesn't excuse what I did. But I'll apologize as many times as it takes."

"Good. Never thought I'd be able to say this from the heart… but I'm proud of you," Kaeya said, his face painted with a kind smile.

Diluc returned his brother's smile and nodded, then changed the subject.

"So what about you? Are you going to tell Lisa about this?"

Kaeya sighed, looking down at his feet.

"I can't. Who's to say she would believe me even if I did. I already get the feeling she thinks I'm a bit crazy."

"I see. Kinda unfortunate, but I guess it isn't my place to say any more. It's your choice."

Kaeya shook his head in resignation.

"She and I were just a convenient thing anyway. I have no right to go treating her kindly now."

Diluc understood his brother's feelings. After all, he, too, had found comfort in the arms of a convenient woman. That guilt still hung around his neck like a chain even now.

Sensing the end of the conversation, Kaeya stood to his feet.

"Anyway, I already settled my score with the most important person."

Extending his hand across the counter, he offered it to his brother as a sign of their reconciliation.

"Here's to family."

With no hesitation, Diluc met Kaeya's right hand with his own, firmly grasping it in a hearty handshake.

"Yeah. To family."


As the stars came out above the hills of Mond, Aether made his way to a familiar place, one where he had once met his sister. It was on a chilly night much like this one, several years ago, that he had seen her silhouette atop that pointed mountain overlooking the sea. With no other hope of finding her, he trudged up that same incline towards Starsnatch Cliff.

He wanted to see her again. That was all he cared about now. After hearing Dain's prophetic words of impending doom, and losing his most trusted companion, he was left a broken man. He missed Lumine more than ever, but he knew the reality of the situation. It wasn't likely for him to find her ever again. Still, he cried out like a man possessed as he climbed the mountain.

"Lumine! Please, let me see you one more time! Please don't leave me all alone!"

Only crickets chirping and the sound of the breeze responded to him.

He sighed as he reached the overlook. Below him was the vastness of the sea. Across the dancing waters, he could see distant lights of ships crossing the expanse, and even further beyond, the dim shape of Inazuma.

It all felt so nostalgic he could cry. Years had passed, but this place hadn't changed at all. It almost felt like he could reach out and touch those memories as they floated through his consciousness.

He toyed with the earring hanging from his left ear, remembering where it came from. He had forgotten many things upon coming to this world, but he hadn't forgotten that. Lumine had given it to him, but when, he couldn't quite remember.

Just as he started to consider talking to the air itself, he heard a footstep behind him, treading softly on the grass.

He whirled around instantly, and what he saw took his breath away.

Glowing in the starlight, like an otherworldly flower, Lumine stood there, only feet away.

"Ah?!"

Aether tried to speak, but his breath caught in his throat. He couldn't dare imagine why she was here right now. Had she actually heard him? Or was that a coincidence, and she was merely taking her chance to kill him while he was alone?

"Greetings, Aether," she said calmly.

"Y-Yeah, greetings, Lumine."

She sighed.

"You act like I'm here to kill you or something," she said, making a complicated expression.

"Well, I'm hoping not."

"Don't worry. The time for that has long passed," she said quietly.

Aether's eyes got a bit wider, then he spoke up again.

"Does that mean you know about what's happening?"

"Yes, I do. This was always a possibility. After all, I know that man better than almost anyone. And I've been watching you, as well."

"I see… not going to lie, that's a little creepy, sister."

"Wha-? Shut up! I didn't come here to be insulted!" Lumine said, clenching her fists.

And then, Aether laughed. He thoroughly enjoyed that moment, then spoke again.

"So you did know that I wanted to see you."

"Of course I did. I felt the same way, even though things went so wrong… You're my one and only family," she said in a soft voice, as she took a seat in the grass next to Aether.

Aether smiled. All of the hurt she had inflicted on him, all for naught. It amounted to less than nothing; he didn't remember any of it anymore. His beloved sister was here, and that was all that mattered now.

Still, he had to ask, before the chance was gone.

"Lumine… I have to know. Why did you stay with the Abyss Order all these years? I just don't get it."

"I don't have time to explain everything. It would take much too long. However, the truth is, my desire wasn't so different from Dain's."

"You mean fighting against Celestia?"

"Something like that. He and I disagreed long ago about how to go about it, but our aims were the same: to end this farce, and find out what is truly real. That is why I had to fight against this world, and… you as well."

A chilly breeze rustled the white flowers that grew atop Starsnatch Cliff, causing Lumine to hold her hair as it blew across her face.

"So you knew about this world's secret too?"

"I know many such secrets. But the fact that this world has been repeating indefinitely? Yes, I have long known that. I have been waiting for the day you would discover it again."

"I just don't get it though, why is this world repeating? What the hell is Celestia thinking?"

"Perhaps Celestia isn't thinking anything at all. For all I have found, they may not even play a part in this world any longer. Maybe the Enforcer is the only thing that remains."

"What? So they abandoned this place?"

"Abandoned… I don't know. There is still too much I don't know… Things that can never be known until we leave this world for good."

"I see… so do you think Dainsleif will succeed?"

"That, I also don't know. But knowing him, he just won't quit until he finally sees beyond this false world. If I'm right, we may know everything before long."

"I hope so. I'm ready for this journey to truly end. I'm… I'm so tired, Lumine," he said, almost getting choked up.

In response, she gently placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I know. You've been through so much. We both have. Maybe we can rest soon. I pray so," she said wistfully.

Yeah, maybe then I can finally escape that awful name they gave me," Aether said with a chuckle.

"Maybe so, Traveler."

It was Aether's turn to clench his fists. But putting that aside, he continued on.

"You know, I've missed you so much, Lumine. All this time, I've been searching for you, and only you. That was why this Traveler even embarked on his journey to begin with."

"I know, and I'm sorry. The way I went about things might not have been the best, now that I look back."

"That's an understatement, don't you think?" he said with a wry smile.

"Look, I get it, okay? I wish we had spent more time together. Now, it's almost too late."

"Yeah. But at least we have right now."

Lumine smiled gently at her brother, for the first time in many years.

"Right."

That evening, the two reunited siblings tried desperately to make up for lost time. They talked and talked, reminiscing and pondering the future, until the night had almost turned to day. And as the first brush strokes of purple and orange appeared in the sky, from the bottom of their hearts, they prayed that the unknown future awaiting them would be bright.

"Are you coming with us?" Aether asked, as he stood to leave.

"No, I can't show myself in front of him, not after everything I've done to him," she said with a sad expression.

"I'm sure he would forgive you."

"Regardless, I'm not going. I'll leave that up to you, and hopefully, when it's all over, we'll see each other again."

Aether looked down at the ground, as his heart ached. But finally, he looked up, showing her a smile again.

"Yeah. I hope so."


Earlier that night, after Kaeya had finally left Angel's Share, Diluc had closed the place down. It was a bittersweet moment as he prepared to leave that familiar place for what could possibly be the last time. He ran his hand over the weathered wood counter one last time, giving it an affectionate pat, then turned off the lights.

Stepping out into the cool evening, he had only one destination on his mind - he only hoped that she would still be there. He rushed through the city, half expecting the sky to fall at any moment. As he drew near, a warm orange glow in one of the windows told him he had made it in time.

He pushed open the door of the Knights of Favonius headquarters, and made straight for Jean's office.

When a knock came at her door, she was surprised. It was already nearing nine o'clock, and she would usually be home by now, but work had held her late tonight.

"Who is it?"

"It's me," Diluc said.

"Oh, come in!" she replied hastily.

Diluc pushed the door open, and stood in the frame, staring at the woman behind the desk. He hated to even look at her now, knowing well he had taken advantage of her kindness to an explicit degree.

Because of that, his words came out in a low tone.

"Jean, there's something I should tell you."

"Huh? What's wrong?" she said, looking more concerned by the second.

"This world is probably about to end."

After she looked at him like a crazy person, he took the time to explain everything to her: Paimon's awakening, and departure, along with Dain's plan. He couldn't tell if she believed him or not, but the time was too short to ease her into it.

Finally, he stopped to catch his breath and let things sink in.

"This is… I just can't believe it… But you wouldn't lie to me about something like this, right?" she said, her face distraught.

"Trust me, I still can't wrap my head around it all either. But tomorrow is the meeting, and I want you to come with us… to see whatever happens."

"But I can't just leave work… Wait."

"I don't think work will matter any more after tomorrow," Diluc said, staring at the desk counter, where countless pieces of paper lay spread out efficiently.

For some reason, it made him feel a little sad.

"That's what I was thinking," Jean said, smiling a bit.

Then, she realized how ridiculous it was to smile in this situation, and looked down sheepishly.

"Jean, there's something else I need to say before then. Please hear me out before you say anything."

Diluc met her eyes once again, and she looked back and forth between his before nodding her consent.

"I owe you an apology. Even though you were so kind to me, I still couldn't forget Keqing. I… I know this sounds crazy, but I met her again… in the "world between"… before she passed on to the other side."

Jean's eyes widened in shock as he spoke even more unbelievable words. But soon, they narrowed again, and a knowing look crossed her face.

"So that's why you went back to Liyue."

"Yeah. The director of the funeral parlor wanted me there for her departure."

"That must have been… quite hard…" she said, trying to remain composed.

Diluc should have been touched by her considerate words, but instead he grew annoyed. She was doing her best to remain strong, even going as far as to comfort him with her words while she suffered. He couldn't stand it; he had had enough.

"Don't say that, Jean. You're the one who had it hard. I used you to heal my wounds, then put you back on the shelf when I felt half decent again. I'm a bastard," he said, gritting his teeth.

"You didn't use me. If anything, I used you. I knew how sad you were, but instead of giving you time to heal, I wormed my way into your heart. I'm the one in the wrong here."

Jean's voice had become firm and unyielding somehow as she defended him yet again.

"Stop. You were only showing me love. I knew, Jean. Did you know that? I knew that you loved me, I had known for so long. And even knowing that, I still let you have that hope. Stop trying to defend me, just tell me the truth. Tell me how you really feel, for once in your damn life!"

Diluc raised his voice at the woman who had been by his side for so many years. And in response, she lowered her head, and began to choke back sobs.

"How could I tell you the truth?! You would have just run away if I did! You were so scared to let me get close, and I can see why! You indecisive bastard!"

Diluc just stood there with eyes wide as Jean battered him with vicious words.

"I've loved you for so long! And yet, you went and found another lover so easily! Do you know how that felt?! My heart was absolutely crushed, but I couldn't show it to you!"

Diluc didn't speak a word. He hung his head in silence as his long-overdue sentence was finally carried out.

"Diluc, when she died… I… I have to admit…"

"NO! Don't say that! Just… don't fucking say that, okay? I get it…" he growled, on the verge of angry tears.

"I'm so sorry… I'm such an awful woman," Jean said, with tears pouring from her eyes on to the papers below, soaking them through.

"And I'm an awful man."

"Yes, you are. But I still love you, and I always will. That's the kind of hopeless woman I really am. That's the real me."

"Jean… I…"

"It's okay, I get it already. You can't let her go, no matter what. I should really hate you for this, but… now isn't the time for that, is it?" she said, looking up at him. "I'd almost suspect you made up that whole story about the world ending, it's so convenient for you."

Diluc gave a joyless laugh in reply.

"Wouldn't that be nice?"

After that, as the embers of their anger died down, they drew near to each other one last time. Diluc wrapped Jean up in his arms, and she let herself fall into him.

"Hey, do you think there's a world… where our love lasted?"

"What kind of question is that?" Diluc muttered.

"I just wonder about these things sometimes… even dream about them. Maybe, somehow…"

Diluc cut her off before she could finish. He didn't want to hear any more.

"Maybe so. This world still has many secrets, after all."

Jean smiled a bit sadly, putting her hands on his chest.

"I guess we'll never know."

As Diluc looked out the window at the still world beyond, his mind drifted far away, to a place and time that never even existed. And when he saw that warm, comfortable scene flash before his mind's eye, he couldn't help but smile too.

"Yeah, we never will."


Ending Theme: FELT - find the light


Next:

Episode 25: The Journey's End