Title: You Can Do It
Summary: A letter from Gaara, and Masumi meets the ninken.
Kokoro,
I am concerned with what you've written to me, and I think I know what to say to make it better. I don't know if it will work, but for you, I would try anything to keep you happy. Let me start off by telling you what I've been up to. After our last mission together, I was determined to show everyone how much I've changed. I had already been doing so before we met again, but I stepped up my efforts. I underestimated how scared everyone was of me and how long it would take for them to see me as anything but a monster. It certainly doesn't help that Shukaku is still distrustful of everyone around us and refuses to let down his guard. It is hard for people to be comfortable around us when he insists on pulling up a wall of sand when anyone gets within arm's length.
I have tried to gain their trust by visiting the markets and striking up conversations with people. I admit it is awkward for me as I am not much of a talker. Still, I want to try. I want people to know I've changed for the better. I've been helping out in our community, as well. I volunteered to help out in the soup kitchen, and I volunteered to help at the academy. Not much progress has been made, unfortunately. They still go quiet when I enter a room, they still whisper behind my back, and they still look at me as though I might turn on them at any second. But I keep going.
I keep going for myself and for the people around me. I don't deserve to feel lonely and sad all the time, and they don't deserve to feel afraid and nervous all the time. I owe it to them to be a better person. My whole family owes it to the people to better ourselves, especially after what my father did. Knowing you, you might be curious as to why this all matters so much. You know I want to redeem myself, but I do have some news to give you. As you know, the title of Kazekage has been passed down through my family's lineage since we founded the village. Since my father died, it is now up to me, Kankuro, or Temari to take up the title. It is more important than ever that we decide on the next leader as our village is growing weary. As the oldest, I asked Temari to take up the reins, but she is not interested in leading the village and is happily learning the ways in which to be a diplomat for our village. Kankuro is not interested either, using the excuse of it being too much of a responsibility. So, I will be taking up the position. I spoke to Shukaku, who is happy to help me. He thinks it'll be an opportunity to use his power. I've tried to dissuade him from that kind of thinking, but you know how stubborn he is.
I am quite nervous as I don't know whether or not I'll do a good enough job, but I would happily serve my village if it means I get to make sure no one was treated the same way I was. I have begun my training under the village elders. I won't be Kazekage for some time as I need to gain jounin status and experience. I think they also want to mold me into something I'm not, a pawn they can use for their needs. I won't let them, but it is exhausting fighting them about certain things. Sometimes I want to quit, myself.
I understand your frustrations, Kokoro. It must be hard relocating to a new village without knowing anyone. It must be difficult moving from a relatively happy place like Konoha to a more dreary and distrustful place like Kiri. I've never been to Kirigakure, so I am just speculating from the letters you've sent me. It's a big change, and big changes are scary. After my fight with Naruto, I was scared because it was the first time in a long time that Shukaku had been silent. He wasn't bothering me and was so silent I thought he had been removed. For once, I didn't feel his bloodthirsty rage, and while it was a breath of fresh air, all I'd known was his rage. All you've known, Kokoro, is kindness. You've had moments of rejection from gossipers, but the network system your dad has has made it so you've had a big circle of people who would do anything to protect you. It's all you've known, and now you aren't surrounded by any of that.
It's a new feeling, but that doesn't mean you should shy away from it. Embrace it, and use it to fuel your drive to become better and to learn more. Isn't that the whole reason you moved? Don't give up now. That would be too easy, and you don't do easy. You fought to be my friend, you fought to win the Chunin Exams even when you were injured, and you fought to help out those in need during the invasion. Keep fighting, Kokoro, because the moment you stop is the moment you lose yourself. Trust me.
I am embarrassed, but I want to share something with you. I, too, have been working so diligently to be up to their standards, but it is all too much. I'm frustrated and lonely. I don't have any friends here, either, that could help lift these kinds of burdens from my shoulders. But there is one thing that brightens my spirits. Every time you send me a letter, I feel marginally better. Your letters tell me that someone out there is rooting for me; someone out there feels the same way I do and is also looking for advice on how to proceed. You remind me that I'm not lonely. You remind me to keep fighting and to never give up. I need to better myself for me, the people of Suna, and for you. I want to treat you the way you should have always been treated, and I want to protect you from everything, including me, like I should have done before.
I'll write to you as many times as I have to to keep your spirits up and to make you smile. The next time I see you, I don't want you to be stricken with sadness and pain. I want you to be smiling and filled with happiness. A frown doesn't quite look right on your face. I know you're busy right now training to become a genin and a diplomat for Kirigakure, and I know that I will be busy for quite some time, but I want to see you again. I can't wait to see you again, Kokoro.
Gaara
Kokoro stood opposite Masumi with a cool and calculated look on her face. Masumi stood unassuming, but Kokoro knew they were just as ready as she was. Masumi made the first move and moved forward with swiftness. Kokoro mirrored their movements and pulled back her arm to deliver a punch. Masumi suddenly stopped and let Kokoro come towards them. Kokoro's eyes widened comically as she realized her mistake and knew it was too late to fix it. Kokoro's fist flew past Masumi as they dodged. Out of the corner of Kokoro's eye, she saw Masumi's fist fly towards her, and she braced for impact, tensing her face. Masumi's fist connected and sent Kokoro flying to the side.
She shook the hit off and recovered in time to roll backwards out of the way of a nasty kick. As she rolled away, she grabbed hold of Masumi's leg and pulled it as she rolled. She felt the ground slightly rumble and the air leave their body as their back connected with the ground. Kokoro's victory was short lived as Masumi grabbed her hand, spun her around, and hit her in the middle of the face with the palm of their hand. Kokoro's face stung, especially her nose. She hoped it wasn't broken.
She stumbled backwards and tripped over a tree stump. She held out her arms to gain her balance before freezing for a second at the rush of air coming towards her. She ducked out of the way and thought she had gotten away, only to feel Masumi grip the back of her uniform. Kokoro thought quickly and pulled off her jacket as Masumi pulled. As the jacket blocked their eyesight, she spun in a circle and kicked them in their head, making them fall to the ground. They got up immediately and swung at Kokoro. Kokoro managed to block it with her forearm.
They exchanged blows, seemingly at a standstill as no one could gain the upper hand. Kokoro's blows were met with equally, if not stronger, blows, and Masumi's blows were met with confident-ridden blows. It was all up to stamina, which was Kokoro's downfall. She wasn't used to fighting for so long against such an aggressive and strong opponent. She had sparred with Masumi for a while, but the fatigue was starting to get to her. She could feel less and less power being implemented into her punches, kicks, and pushes. Her body ached and she was ready for the fight to be over. On the other hand, Masumi was still going without wavering. They were fighting as if they weren't fighting Kokoro for the last twenty minutes.
Kokoro was ready for the fight to end, and it was her impatience and lack of stamina that led to her defeat. She swung sloppily and bit her lip harshly when she missed. She rushed towards Masumi with a yell and let out a rasping breath as Masumi hit her with a long knee. Their knee jammed into her stomach and ripped the air out of her lungs. As she tried to recover, Masumi grabbed her, threw her down to the ground, and put her in a fish hook hold. They sat on her back and reached around to her face. They slipped their fingers in Kokoro's mouth and pulled hard on her cheeks. With her free hands, she tried prying their hands out of her mouth, but she couldn't. Desperately, she clawed at their hands, wanting to win and show Masumi how much she improved, but it was no use. She tapped the ground heavily and waited for Masumi to let her go.
"You fought well," Masumi complimented her as they removed their hands and stood up. They held out a hand and helped pull Kokoro up. Kokoro stood up and thanked Masumi for the help. She was exhausted; fighting Masumi was hard. Masumi was a skilled fighter that took calculated risks. They had an arsenal of tricky moves that could fool anyone in a stress-inducing fight. Plus, Masumi was fast. Their hits packed a punch that left Kokoro breathless, but their strength lied in their speed and stamina. Kokoro didn't have nearly enough stamina to continue to fight them. She wondered how she could improve her own so that she could last longer in a fight. Or maybe she should focus on her strength so that she can out-power her opponent first. As she thought about it, she realized she'd rather improve her stamina.
"You need to control yourself towards the end of your fights," Masumi commented as Kokoro took a swig of water from her water bottle.
"I panicked," Kokoro said breathlessly.
"I know, but you have to learn how to not panic," Masumi said. "I know it is tiring to keep up with an enemy for so long, but you can't throw the match with a last ditch effort. That's a sure way to get yourself killed."
"I'll try better next time."
Masumi eyed Kokoro. Kokoro rolled her eyes and said, "My bad. I'll do better next time. Happy?"
"I am. You know how I feel about that wording."
"I know," Kokoro said. "Try implies room for not accomplishing and lack of confidence. Do implies confidence it will happen."
"Good. Now, introduce me to you ninken."
Kokoro brightened, and asked, "Really? You mean it?"
"Yes. I do believe your taijutsu is up to standards for a genin, at the very least. While I would love to introduce you to your weapon of choice, it seems you might be too tired for it. We will start your training with the bokken tomorrow. Now that you are up to standards, incorporating the bokken should be easy."
"Why do you want to meet my ninken, though?" Kokoro asked curiously. "Not that I don't want you to," she backtracked as Masumi gave her a look, "but I thought we would start with weapons training first."
"It is better you get used to fighting with your ninken as soon as possible. Ninken are great partners to have. They can easily be utilized on missions and in a fight. They are great resources of strength. I'd rather you understand how to coordinate with them effectively before you join our genin team and start missions."
"Our?"
"Should you pass the expectations for Kiri graduate terms, you will be placed on my genin team."
"Why aren't you with them now?"
"There was an incident before you arrived."
"What kind of incident?" Kokoro asked uneasily.
"One of my genin lost her life on a high-ranked mission. My remaining two are still recovering from the loss. While you are doing your studies with Ao, I am training my students. When I train you, I leave them to their own devices to recuperate and process. It is important that they keep their sanity in these trying times."
"Do you think they're not sane enough to continue their shinobi duties?"
"I certainly think they are not ready for new missions. Only time heals pain. I refuse to work with a team that is still grieving. I told Mei as such, and she has allowed us some reprieve."
Kokoro contemplated their words. She was impressed that Mei and Kiri understood the need for rest after a death in a team. She'd never had a team member die during a mission, but she had seen her father try to recover from a fallen teammate. It was not pretty and often took him a while to bounce back. Of course, he never took the proper amount of time to grieve and often pushed himself back into working to get his mind off of it. It wasn't healthy, even Kokoro knew that. There was one thing on her mind though. She wasn't sure if it was an appropriate time to voice her thoughts, but she knew Masumi would rather she say something than hold it in.
"Do you think they'll want me on the team?" Kokoro asked quietly. "I don't want to feel like a replacement, and I don't want them to feel like I'm trying to replace someone."
"You are not a replacement," Masumi said as they placed a hand on her shoulder. "Hopefully they understand that. No one can replace her, but we can't go on without a fourth member. You will create bonds with them just like she had."
"What was she like?"
"She was proud to be from Kirigakure, and she was proud of her abilities. She was our voice of reason and kept the team from in-fighting more than once. She didn't like to goof off or joke around, but she was an amazing comrade."
"How did she die, if you don't mind me asking."
"She died protecting another teammate."
"They have heavy guilt from it, don't they?"
"They do," Masumi confirmed. "That's one of the reasons why I have them resting rather than doing missions. Self-sacrificial people always act like missions are their death grounds, and I cannot allow another one of my team to die."
Kokoro saw the fierce protection behind Masumi's eyes. She saw the way Masumi cared for those they were in charge of. It was a relief that Masumi acted so loyal, and Kokoro was more than happy to be a part of their team when she graduated. That was a ways away, but she knew it would be a great experience. She just hoped the others liked her. Her reputation certainly wasn't the best around.
"Let's meet the mutts, shall we?" Masumi said.
"You probably shouldn't call them that," Kokoro said grimly. "They don't take too kindly to being underestimated or insulted." She went through her hand signs before touching the ground and summoning her five ninken. As soon as they saw Kokoro, Mimi and Nanako bounded towards her and sat in front of her with wagging tails. Kokoro smiled joyfully and petted them. "Mimi, Nanako, it's so good to see you! I missed you!"
"I missed you too, Koko!" Mimi said.
"Why haven't you summoned us in a while?" Nanako whined. "You said it would only take a week."
"I didn't expect it to take so long. I'm sorry," Kokoro apologized. Fuwafuwa walked up to Kokoro and nudged Mimi and Nanako with his snout.
"It is good to see you, Kokoro," Fuwafuwa said as he bumped his head against her hand. "Try not to wait so long. It was a hassle keeping these two in line."
"I'll try - uh, I mean I will!"
Kokoro looked expectantly at Totoro and Shishio. She wanted to greet them, as well, but they were scoping out their surroundings and the unfamiliar stranger in close proximity to their human. Totoro approached first, suspiciously watching Masumi as he greeted Kokoro with a sniff and a quick lick. Shishio followed Totoro's movements and mimicked his greeting.
"Who is this human?" Shishio asked.
"And where are we?" Totoro asked.
"We're in Kirigakure, aren't we," Fuwafuwa said matter-of-factly.
Kokoro gestured towards Masumi and said, "This is Masumi. They are my training sensei. They have been helping me hone my skills and get ready for the next Chunin Exams. We are in Kirigakure. I should have warned you, but I accepted a deal with the Mizukage to train and become a shinobi of Kiri. Eventually, I will be a diplomat for the village."
"Does dad and Kakashi know about this?" Mimi asked.
"They do. I apologize for not telling you in advance. There was a lot on my mind and I was busy."
"It is okay," Totoro said after some time. "Just try to let us know these things in the future."
"Of course," Kokoro said with a smile. Then she turned to Masumi and introduced all her ninken to them. They assessed her ninken slowly and critically. Their eyes lingered on Totoro and Shishio and grazed over Mimi, Nanako, and Fuwafuwa. Whatever they were looking for, they must have found.
"It's a pleasure to meet you," Masumi said.
"It's nice to meet you too," Fuwafuwa said.
"May we sniff you to get used to your scent?" Totoro asked.
"Yes," Masumi agreed. They let the dogs sniff all around them until they were all satisfied with it. "I'm assuming you," they said as they gestured towards Totoro, "are the leader of the pack."
"I am. Shishio is my second in command."
"And what of your abilities?"
Totoro sat proudly with his brown fur and said, "I am best for hunting, finding scents and running."
Shishio's dark-spotted, white fur glistened as he said, "I am good at distracting."
"What does that entail?" Masumi asked.
"I am silent and quick on my feet. There are also some sounds I can mimic, like bird signals and critter sounds."
Masumi nodded her head in acceptance and looked at Fuwafuwa expectantly.
"I am the best at observation, and I help keep Mimi and Nanako in line," said the big fluffy ninken.
"I am agile and I have good reflexes!" Nanako said as she wagged her black tail. "Plus, I'm pretty fast! I can keep up with Shishio and Totoro if I really have to."
"And you?" Masumi asked Mimi.
"I have the most stamina out of the group, and I can extend my bark far enough to reach someone miles away," the puggle said.
Masumi hummed and looked at Kokoro. "It seems like you have a good bunch of ninken. They have impressive abilities. I wonder how they utilize them."
"We can show you," Totoro said evenly. "We're valuable companions."
Masumi nodded her head and said, "Then show me how valuable you are."
"They will," Kokoro said with a confident smirk.
