I am so sorry for the delays...but here it is. I've actually written ahead of this, but had to stop because I was getting carried away.

Anyway, this is a juicy 4,075 words. I hope you enjoy it. My brain was frying with ideas and nearly melted.

If there's any large grammar mistakes, then it's due to the fact that I wrote this in a rush. I really love getting reviews, so keep em coming. :]


Lost Heart


Time is short, there's no going back.

What is it we need, what is it we lack?


He was alone.

Not a friend was left. They had all been killed for a simple petty reason.

And he was going to die like them. His will as broken as his body and defeated as his heart. Now all that remained was the simple fact that he was going to die.

Why though? Why must it be this way? After all he sacrificed for, all the people he had saved, and in the end, he couldn't even save himself. Those who he'd protected had turned their swords upon him.

It wasn't right. It wasn't supposed to be like this. It shouldn't have ended this way.

He was stumbling to a river along a path he knew all too well. The crumbled remains of buildings to his left were new to the landscape, but it was of little concern. After what they'd all been through, it was a miracle that the entire city wasn't turned to dust. His legs shook from the pain and loss of blood. He could hardly make out the river as his vision suddenly blurred and felt himself falling forwards. Relenting, he let his beaten body tumble to the ground and felt himself stop on the grassy bank, near where the water was gushing by.

Death was near at hand.

His back was on the earth and his paling face was staring at the heavens. Slowly, a sense of ironic humor coursed through his mind and he laughed, not caring that he coughed up blood while doing so.

This was how it should have been, all those years ago. What was it? Six or seven?

He laughed the humorless laugh again. The cuts on his face moved and bled as he opened his mouth to speak, but pain had little meaning in this odd sense of defeat.

"I suppose I couldn't escape death after all, mom…" His voice was raspy and filled with emotion. He was speaking to someone could would never hear his voice again, yet this did not sway him in the slightest. "I wish your sacrifice for me had not been in vain…yet here I am, about to die in the same place you died, labeled a monster—very much like the one you were killed by…"

Tears mixed with the blood. His vision was darkening.

"I—I wish I could have done so many things…mom…compared to so many people I've known, I've barely lived…but despite all the things I wanted to do—I content with what I've done…dad…Karin….Yuzu… Your family is safe…mom…I was able to protect them until the end…"

He hacked up more blood. It was so painful to breathe….just getting air into his lungs was so hard…his movements were getting weaker…

"Mom…" His voice was now fearful and trembling, like a child. "I—I'm afraid…not of death…I'm just…just…afraid of dying alone…"

He felt his life force leaving and closed his eyes, waiting…almost welcoming the oncoming oblivion.

The last thing he knew was that he was perfectly alone, no one was near him.

...

"Ichigo!"

He was dimly aware of someone shaking his shoulder.

"Wake up! You're having a nightmare!"

The voice kept getting louder…so loud…it hurt…

"Wha—who…" he mumbled and sat up. Daylight poked his bleary, sleep ridden eyes so that he could barely make out the figure inches away from his face.

"Oh—thank goodness…" Nel breathed a huge sigh of relief. She pulled back his hood so she could see his face. The single horn connected to his mask was poking out from underneath his covering like a dagger.

"Are you alright?" she said, concern flashing across her face. "You were clutching your head as if it gave you great pain…"

Ichigo shook his head only to have it throb annoyingly. His back was sore from leaning against a tree. Nel was crouched beside him. She quickly let go of his hood, withdrawing her arm and suddenly tucking it beneath her cloak, as if she feared she would get scorched by invisible flames.

"Was it your memories? Are they returning? Nel asked bluntly.

"They…" Ichigo struggled to find the right words for the horrible vision he had just witnessed, "They aren't exactly memories…I think—it's almost as if it's from another person's life…why is that?" he finished in a rush all the while hoping he hadn't sounded too crazy. But the reaction he got from Nel gave him even more questions to fill his brain.

She gave a look of pity. It was not a cruel, mocking look, it was just…sad. As if it caused her some sort of emotional pain.

"Because before you lived in Hueco Mundo, you lived here. The memories you see are from your previous life."

Ichigo blinked. That was more straightforward then he expected, not that he was surprised though, he knew all hollows had been originally human souls. Nel had told him back in Hueco Mundo that Hollows and Soul Reapers alike had all once been human. Yet he from what he knew, they lost most or all memories of their previous human lives.

"I see," he replied and hesitated for a moment. He knew she would not lie to him. From what Ichigo suspected, she had known him in his 'previous' life. But there was something wrong with that…since when do arrancars know humans? The very idea was absurd. Dare he ask?

"Do you know how and why I died?"

"Yes." There was no uncertainty or hesitation in her voice.

They held each other's gaze for a long while. Nel's pity look was gone, now it was simply blank.

"Well," he finally said, turning away from her and arching his back in an effort to stretch his groaning muscles. "Don't tell me."

He heard her stand up and her cloak slide on the ground, away from him.

"I did not expect you to say that," her voice was still subdued, but Ichigo caught every word. He turned and strode over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder, the same way she'd done to him when they first met.

"I do not blame you, most would want to know about their past…but then, I am not 'most'..." The Zero Espada was certainly not to be lumped with "most". He was different, and something told him he always had been.

Nel looked at him as if she had cold water dumped over her head. It took her a moment before a large grin appeared on her face.

"You wish to find out on your own…" she chuckled and placed her hand on his shoulder in return.

"You gave me a name," he said quietly, "saved me from despair, and showed me many wonderful things. You do not fear me or my power—yes Nel," he smirked as Nel's checks began to flush slightly with his abrupt praise, "I know you must have trained hard to possess enough power just to get near me in Hueco Mundo…I won't forget that."

"Ichigo, I…"

"You don't have to say anything," he brushed her comment aside. "That's all I request…."

They stood there, grinning, both with a hand on the other's shoulder, and both slightly closer in heart than before. Or rather, as close as one could get, since where their hearts used to reside were now currently empty holes.

"Shall we go searching, Primeria Espada?" the boy asked, his hand releasing his friend in order to pull his own hood up.

"Sounds fun, Cero Espada…"


"This does look like fun, so much fun I think I'll be tempted to join once it gets started."

"You'd better not—not yet at least. We have to be sure if it worked."

"Aw, so harsh! Even now ya doubt your own abilities…"

Two people were whispering from a high spot up in the air, completely invisible to all surrounding them. One had thin, silver hair that draped over his narrow eyes. His hand was resting on a short sword in a careless manner. But perhaps his most cunning feature was his eerie smile that gave the impression of a fox closing in on his prey. The other person had golden hair and a slender figure: Beautiful to behold and without blemish but for an ugly, jagged scar that ran across her waste. An odd sword frame was slung behind her back. Despite her apparent quiet manner, she had a bold, intimidating presence that would cause the most courageous to falter and shake in their sandals.

A kidō kept them both hidden from friend and foe, for reasons more than obvious. They both were dressed in hakama of the purest white, the signature clothes of the Espada.

"I did not predict the side effect, which could mean that we are wrong. One simple mistake will doom this to failure. Our sacrifices would have been in vain. If that is the case, he is not the one," said Tier Harribel in her usual solemn undertone. Her eyes were focused on the ground far below. They had been up here for hours, waiting. Her patience was not lacking, but then there was an exception she made for her companion.

"Now now, don't fret. He's the one…" Gin Ichimaru chuckled softly as he shifted his crouched position to peer where Harribel was looking. "I ain't be one to disrespect the dead n' all that, but Butterfly-Aizen-Boy did find the right kid for the job despite failing to see that he himself was too weak for this job."

"I still don't think the 'kid' will come with us willingly…even if the Soul Reapers did kill him. I have not made my presence known in Hueco Mundo. I am a threat to him. And you are hardly the trusting, persuading person who could hardly convince a mere child."

"Shame you keep on thinkin like a hollow, y' forget that he'll still retain some of his personality so he's not entirely unreasonable. And even if he doesn't feel up to talkin, I'll skip the speech and make him come."

"That is not the way I wanted it," Harribel shifted her piercing emerald glare to Gin's hunched figure. His was avoiding her eyes and kept his gaze searching the town below. "We're in this together, whether we want to…or not. 'Perfect beings' aside, we should be choosing of our own freewill to do what must be done."

"What's wrong with havin a bit o' fun along the way?" asked Gin innocently, a wicked smile creeping up the corners of his mouth.

"Everything…" she replied and cast her stare back earthwards.


The air was cold, but Nel and Ichigo did not mind, it was still warmer here then the sandy deserts of Hueco Mundo. They both were standing in mid air, debating on where to go next to search for places where Ichigo's memories would come back.

"I want to go back to the river!" Nel was pouting, crossing her arms in a rather immature attempt at sincerity. They had been bickering about this for ten minutes straight.

"We've already been to the river," said Ichigo for the umpteenth time, folding his arms as well and succeeding to look more serious now that he was frowning. "Why don't we try someplace where you won't get distracted by fish?"

"Hmph!" was all she said in reply, conceding at last, well, almost. "Just make it quick, king, then we will go back to the river."

"Ugh, fine…" the latter finally gave in, tired of arguing. It was pointless; she always won whatever verbal fight they got into. Ichigo didn't mind, too much. She might be right this time anyway; there was something about that river that caused him to remember a part of his past.

He started walking in a direction away from the river, his feet making odd echoing sounds with each step on air. Nel, forgetting to be grumpy, had started skipping ahead of him, squealing with glee as she marveled at a large building where a lot of young humans seemed to be gathered.

Ichigo on the other hand, took one look at the building and felt a rather sharp pain pierce the back of his head. He winced, but ignored it on the most part and ended up dragging Nel towards the busier part of the Human town. They had almost arrived when a bright blue arrow shot out from below and narrowly missed.

"Ah," Nel giggled, tugging Ichigo's cloak and pointing down at the street, "It's that depressed Quincy!"

"Oh, him again?" Ichigo was faintly amused by the efforts that human was making. "How troublesome…" The Quincy had suddenly appeared behind them both while they were looking down.

"Got you! Licht Regen!"

A predictable shower of arrows proceeded to rain down upon the two Arrancars who in return used sonido to easily avoid the onslaught.

"Why is he even bothering?" Nel asked Ichigo who shrugged. The Quincy was looking at him hard, sizing him up, his bow drawn and at the ready in case Ichigo decided to attack. What was rather more noticeable was the fact that he was standing on a glowing platform.

"Perhaps…" Ichigo said to Nel pensively, "Perhaps he wishes to stall us…it's as if he's waiting for back up or something. Somehow, I don't think he would attack us alone, not after what I did to him yesterday."

"A diversion…" Nel muttered and he glimpsed her hand twitch towards her sword, tucked away beneath her cloak. "Maybe I should take him a little more seriously and finish him."

"Don't," Ichigo was now curious as to what the Quincy was plotting. It would be interesting to see what the human would try next. "Let's see what happens…it might be interesting and—" He turned to his partner sternly and said, "I thought you said you didn't want to harm anyone while we visit!"

"But he's annoying and he's stalling us!"

Ichigo sighed. He didn't feel like pointing out that their bickering was stalling them more effectively then the Quincy ever could. Instead of continuing their…loud discussion, the head Espada turned to back to the human who was currently watching them argue with a suspicious expression plastered on his face.

"What's wrong, Quincy?" Ichigo asked in a voice that could only mean nothing but ill will, "You want another blast of spirit force to send you tumbling to your death?"

The Quincy pushed his glasses up his nose before replying calmly, "No, as a matter of fact I don't. The only reason why I'm here is to ask you to surrender."

There was a moment of silence. Then Nel cracked and started laughing hysterically, nearly losing concentration and almost falling to the ground. Disregarding his companion's embarrassing behavior, Ichigo replied in a cold voice, "Are you saying that if we don't want to get hurt, we'd better surrender now before your back up arrive?"

"You gasp the situation well, Arrancar…or should I say, Vasto Lord?" The Quincy narrowed his eyes, as if this was some great, notable fact. Ichigo however couldn't care less of this information.

"It doesn't matter what you humans call me, but if you really want to know, then you are correct, I am a Vasto Lord—but I doubt knowing will make any difference."

For once, the Quincy didn't answer. Ichigo turned away from him and glanced at Nel whose laughter was more controlled.

"He must have great faith in his friends' abilities," Ichigo told her as she straightened herself into a more dignified position. "We shouldn't underestimate them. If they are as powerful as he is implying, we shouldn't let our guard down…"

He recalled Nel's warning of holding back against opponents far weaker than himself, less he kill many innocent bystanders.

"But if it really comes down to a fight, I'll move this to a less populated area. Then I will be able to go all out should the need arise."

Nel nodded, understanding.

"If you won't hold back, then I will do the same." She stated in a serious voice. "I presume you wish to let the battle come? You want to fight, don't you?"

Ichigo smirked. "I didn't know you could read minds…"

"Your mind isn't hard to read. It's like an open book. Besides, you've never encountered a challenge where you are faced with a formidable opponent."

The smirk was replaced with a scowl. "Yeah, well…let's just wait and see if they're worth our time, it'll be boring if this all comes to nothing."

Though Ichigo would have preferred to keep on searching, the prospect of a strong fighter was sorely tempting. Yet at the same time, he didn't want to fight unless it was for a good reason. The simple pleasure for fighting alone would not suffice for drawing blood. It would be pointless bloodshed on both sides.

Nel was shouting something at the Quincy, but Ichigo wasn't bothering to listen. He yawned loudly then promptly lied down in mid air to take a nap. He hadn't exactly had a restful night after all and with his mind all cluttered with thoughts, the promise of sleep was quite welcome. The sounds of Nel laughing were growing fainter and fainter. It was only when he felt her prodding his side did he open his eyes again.

He had fallen asleep without realizing it. The sun had nearly hit its high mark. He was now also aware of several strong spirit forces now present that were unmistakably Soul Reapers.

Nel was practically dancing with glee when Ichigo had finally risen to his feet. It took him a moment to remember that he was still in midair, near the crowded part of the Human town. Surrounding them were six people in black kimonos and swords drawn. But what caught Ichigo's attention were the white coats they all seemed to be wearing. The Quincy was standing a further ways off with two other Soul Reapers whom Ichigo could barely make out.

"Oh," He sighed and glanced at Nel through bleary eyes, "Is this it?" His fellow Espada nodded in reply.

"Don't get too disappointed, they can also hide their spirit force like us."

"Then it really would be a good idea to switch locations to a less populated area."

"Shame…I really wanted to go back to that river…"

"We will, afterwards. I promise."

They looked at each other for a single moment, and then each in turn used sonido and slipping through the barrier, headed in the direction where the sun had risen. It was easy work finding a suitable place, despite the Soul Reapers giving chase. It too seemed that they did not wish to fight where Human souls would be at risk.

Ichigo casually sonidoed in the center of a large, empty field and waited for Nel to catch up. Perhaps he chose that particular space because it reminded him slightly of Hueco Mundo.

The first Soul Reaper to arrive was an old man with a long, sweeping beard. His spirit force felt hot and suffocating and Ichigo got the rather intriguing impression that he was the strongest. The second was a tall, serious looking man without any outwards emotions. The third Soul Reaper was a short woman with long braided pig tails. Her scowl hardened as she spotted Ichigo standing lazily, waiting for them to show up. The fourth and fifth arrived at the same time and what was curious about them was their swords. They both had pairs. The sixth Soul Reaper to arrive made up for his lateness with his size. He had the appearance of a large man with the exception of a wolf's head in place for a human's.

Nel arrived a few short seconds later, laughing happily, as for the reason why arrived five seconds afterwards. The Quincy was looking rather sour and by the way he kept giving Nel a death glare, Ichigo could only wonder what sort of insult she had bothered to throw at him. The two other Soul Reapers arrived with him, but they yet again kept their distance, wary of the enemy.

"Hello Soul Reapers!" said Nel cheerfully to the group at large, as if this was some sort of friendly gathering. "Before this gets down to cutting and impaling, I just wanna say that we came here peacefully and intended no harm. But since you're bound to your Soul Reaper duties and aren't going to believe us, I'll assume you won't tolerate any exceptions to your rules. Am I not right, Head Captain?" she added, smiling to the old Soul Reaper.

"You assume correctly," the old man huffed, his eyes narrowed at Nel who did not flinch under his harsh gaze. "And are we correct to assume that you're both are part of Aizen's former Espada?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact I am, although," she gestured to Ichigo, "he isn't. Didn't join up soon enough, yet he's an Espada all the same. Those with the strongest spirit force have always been branded with the number. Of course, the condition is one has to be much stronger than the previous successor. My name is Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck, formally Espada number 3, currently Espada number 1, and first in command under the Hollow king, a pleasure to make your acquaintance although a few of you I've already met." She bowed slightly, her pride now evident as she threw off her cloak, her white hakama standing out more than usual with her long green hair free to blow in the breeze. Her spirit force skyrocketed, causing the ground to tremble and seeming to shake the very air.

"I will try my best to make this fight last," She said kindly, drawing her sword and holding it loosely to her side, "And perhaps, if you're strong enough, you will have the honor of fighting him…"

All eyes turned to Ichigo who was standing motionless, his hood drawn low and arms folded. He hadn't bothered saying anything yet and intended to keep it that way. But Nel wasn't going to let that fall.

"Come on, King," she goaded and poked him in the chest. He batted her hand away, annoyed.

"If you insist," he grumbled, and then raised his voice so the Soul Reapers could hear him. "I'm the 0 Espada, nice to meet you. If you hurt Nel, I'll kill you."