Chapter 6

Chara sat on the massive throne and twiddled his thumbs. He dared not look up to see the carnage. He dared not listen to the adults as they spoke about what he had done. By all accounts, Chara knew better. Whatever anger and disappointment everyone felt towards him was well deserved.

"Chara."

Tensing, Chara squeezed his eyes shut. He did not want to look at Asgore. Whatever expression Asgore wore would be unbearable for Chara to gaze upon.

"Chara," Asgore repeated before saying, "look at me."

Although he didn't want to, Chara obeyed. He opened his eyes and looked up to Asgore. His adoptive father wore an expression of concern. It would have hurt Chara less if Asgore looked angry. At least Chara would have known what to do with an angry parent.

"Why were you playing with matches?" Asgore asked, kneeling down so that he was at eye-level with the human. "More so, why were you playing with matches in the garden? It's a good thing Merla happened to walk in just as my roses caught fire and was able to immediately put it out. If the fire had time to grow, you and Asriel could have been seriously hurt."

At the mention of Asriel, Chara looked to the side where the fire had started. Asriel, still shaking, clung to Merla's skirt. As if he were her own child, Merla stroked the back of Asriel's head and shushed him softly. Realizing that Chara was looking at her, she turned her head a little to glare at the human. This was a demeanor the human child could handle, not the love and care Asgore showed.

"Chara," Asgore gently prompted, "answer me."

Taking a shaky breath, Chara answered, "I was trying to help Asriel summon his own magic. Since you and Ms. Toriel use fire magic, we were sure Asriel would be able to use fire magic of his own. Since I don't have magic, I decided to get the matches and . . ."

Chara trailed off, and he again turned his attention to the devastation. He knew that Asgore loved his garden more than anything else besides his family. To damage Asgore's garden was to hurt Asgore. It was why Chara could not understand why Asgore was being so nice to him. Chara most certainly knew he didn't deserve such kindness after what he had done.

"Look, Chara, I can see what you are feeling," Asgore then said, laying a large paw gently on Chara's shoulder. "Please, do not worry. Only one bush was burned, but more importantly, you and Asriel are unharmed. Asriel may be a little shaken up now, but he will forget all about this by dinner. Although, I know he will start shaking again when I tell your mother—"

"Please, don't tell Ms. Toriel!" Chara jumped in, speaking loud enough for both Merla and Asriel to turn their attentions towards him.

"I'm afraid I don't have that choice," Asgore said. "You see, even if I wanted to keep secrets from my wife, I can't exactly hide a burnt rose bush from her. Even if we uproot it before she returns home, Toriel is going to notice that it's gone."

Chara sunk into the throne. His heart sank even lower. Until Toriel returned from visiting friends in the city and Asgore told her what Chara had done, Chara was going to have a rock sitting in his stomach.

No longer able to look Asgore in the eyes, Chara muttered, "May I please go to my room?"

Hesitating for a moment, Asgore replied, "Yes, you may. You are not grounded though, so please do not think you have to stay in there until your mother gets home."

Chara nodded, pushed himself off the throne, and began to walk away. His shoulders dropped, and his head hung. It would have been so much easier if Asgore yelled at Chara, maybe even hit him. Asgore did no such thing. Chara began to wish that he did.


"Chara, are you still in here?" Asriel asked as he walked into the bedroom.

Shortly after his family returned to New Home with Chara, Asriel's bedroom had been reorganized to include another bed and space for another child. However, in the six months Chara had lived with Asriel's family and shared a room with his new brother, there were no decorations on Chara's side of the room. The dresser and bookshelf were lined against the wall for both children to use, but that was it. All the toys were on Asriel's side. Even though Chara loved playing with Asriel's toys, he refused for either Asgore or Toriel to buy him any of his own. Not that Asriel minded sharing with Chara, but it sometimes saddened Asriel that there was nothing of Chara's own on his side of their shared room save a single drawing Chara made of a flower with golden petals.

"Chara?" Asriel called again when he saw a lump on the bed. Chara lied on top of the covers and was curled into a ball. Although Chara wasn't crying, Asriel could see through the dark that Chara was still upset.

"Hey, it's okay," Asriel said as he sat at the foot of Chara's bed. "Dad's not mad about the roses. I don't even think they're his favorite flowers. He might even use this as an excuse to plant something else there!"

Asriel's smile quickly fell when Chara still did not respond.

"Chara?" Asriel called again, and this time Chara replied by turning onto his other side so that his back now faced the monster. Asriel frowned. It seemed talking wasn't the solution, but Asriel did not know what else to do. Chara had been shut away for nearly two hours now. Asriel heard his father say that Chara was not grounded, but it seemed that Chara decided to ground himself anyway.

Feeling helpless, Asriel pushed himself off the bed, walked out of the room, and softly closed the door behind him. His eyes burned. As much as Asriel wanted to be there for Chara, sometimes he felt that Chara didn't want Asriel to be there for him.


"Chara did what?!" Toriel shouted, prompting her husband to tell her to calm down. However, in a matter of a few mere words from Asgore, Toriel was farther from calm than before. "Gori, why on earth was Chara able to get to the matches in the first place?! You know why we hide the knives in the kitchen and filed down the fire pokers to harmless blunts. How were the matches still within their reach? They shouldn't have easy access to anything they can use to hurt—"

"Tori, please, take a deep breath," Asgore sternly said. He and Toriel were standing by the front door, and Asgore feared that Chara, who had not left their room in over three hours, might hear what was being said. Perhaps Asgore should have had this conversation with Toriel somewhere within the castle that was not their living quarters.

"How can you expect me to be calm when my children could have been hurt?" Toriel said, tone still tense but her volume lowered.

"You can be calm in the fact nobody got hurt," Asgore reminded her. "Chara was only trying to help Asriel summon his fire magic. I wouldn't say that is an entirely bad thing."

"But Asriel's too young to use his magic!" Toriel snapped. "Asriel knows this, and so does Chara. Why did they think playing with matches would help?"

"I think you're dwelling too much on what Chara decided to do to help Asriel and not on that they decided to help Asriel in the first place." Shaking his head, Asgore added, "If you spend too much time dwelling on Chara's mistakes and not what their intentions were, you're only going to succeed in pushing them away."

"Oh," Toriel crossed her arms, "so you are a bigger expert on raising children than I am?"

"I am not saying that," Asgore held both paws up, palms facing outwards, "but I am reminding you that it is obvious Chara still does not see us as their parental figures. They still call me Mr. Asgore and you Ms. Toriel."

"I do not know why they would when we treat them as our own." Toriel sighed. "We provide their every need. We offer unconditional love. What more does Chara need?"

"Time, Tori."

"It has been six months."

"Six months here to Chara's ten years on the surface with whatever family they had before climbing the mountain. You know as well as I do why Chara may be hesitant to accept us as parents." When Toriel didn't reply, Asgore added, "At least they accept Asriel as their sibling just fine. Asriel has never been happier since Chara came into our lives. Asriel is no longer lonely, and Chara is in a safe environment. Give the rest time to fall into place."

"Still, we are moving the matches someplace Chara cannot reach them," Toriel sternly stated. "I will not have any child getting hurt under my roof."

At Asgore's prompting, Toriel then made her way to the children's bedroom. Softly knocking, Toriel called Chara's name and asked to enter. When a moment passed without a response, Toriel knocked again. Still no answer. Taking a deep breath, Toriel warned Chara that she was entering the room even if she was not granted permission.

Upon entering the room, she found Chara lying on their bed, the blankets covering their form. She walked up to the bed, and before she could gently call Chara's name, she heard their steady breathing. Chara must have fallen asleep.

Toriel took a deep breath and stood over the sleeping human. Despite being asleep, Chara did not look peaceful. Reaching out, Toriel pulled the blankets from Chara's shoulders to their chin.

"We will speak in the morning," Toriel whispered to the child. "Rest well, Chara."

As she closed the door behind her, Toriel sighed yet again. She didn't know what to do with the human. If only someone who knew more would come around to tell her what she needed to know to help Chara see that they were loved.


"We will speak in the morning."

Toriel's words to Chara when she thought he was asleep filled him with dread. Toriel rarely raised her voice at him, and she was never directly harsh. However, Chara knew the things Toriel said when she thought he wasn't listening. He had heard her conversation with Asgore when she returned home the night before. It made the kindness she showed him, no matter how genuine, undesirable. Chara wished she would have told him her disappointment to his face. At least this way, Chara never had to doubt if what Toriel told him was the whole truth.

This was why long before dawn, Chara crawled out of bed and snuck out of his room without waking Asriel. He could barely sleep that night, and he knew he had no hope of falling back asleep before it was time to rise. Walking from the living quarters, Chara let his feet carry him wherever they desired as he mindlessly walked through the castle.

Before long, Chara found himself back in the throne room. Light slipped through the holes in the mountain and through the windows and began to flood the throne room with sunlight. The rose bush had long since been uprooted. Chara once again sat on Asgore's throne, slouching and closing his eyes to let the sense of being alone fill him. For a moment, Chara could pretend to be at peace.

It couldn't have been too long before a voice said, "I guess I'm not the only one who couldn't sleep."

Chara's eyes flew open to see Asgore, coffee mug in paw, approaching the throne. He smiled at Chara. The smile went unreturned.

Not knowing he was speaking until his mouth was open, Chara stated, "I am a mistake."

Asgore frowned. "Now, where would you get a silly idea like that?"

I have been told so more than once. . . . Biting his lip, Chara did not verbalize that reply.

"You made a mistake, Chara," Asgore said, seating himself in his wife's throne as if it made sense for a child to sit in the bigger throne while he sat in the smaller. "Making a mistake does not make you a mistake."

"Then why do I feel like I can't move on from the things I have done?" Chara challenged. "It's like every mistake follows me wherever I go, and no matter how much you say that it's okay, the voices in my head say that it's not true. My sins hide in my shadow. Wherever I am, there all the bad things I have ever done are also."

Asgore was silent for a moment before saying, "You are very mature to voice your feelings like that, Chara. I know some adults who cannot put what they believe about themselves into words the way you do.

"But I suppose that's beside the point. Chara, I know you don't believe it about yourself, but you really are far more than your past mistakes. When I look at you, I see so much hope in your eyes. You don't want to believe those bad thoughts, and you do dream of a good future for everyone, including yourself. Sometimes, however, you have a dark cloud over your head, like now. That dark cloud makes it hard for you to see all the light in your life."

"All I see is a never-ending darkness," Chara agreed.

Dwelling on this for a moment, Asgore commented, "You do not see Toriel and I as your parents."

Chara noticed that Asgore did not phrase that as a question. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry," Asgore replied. "I know you see us as your family. It's just giving us the labels you seem hesitant to do. Except with Asriel. Anyone who sees you two together knows that you think of Asriel as your own brother."

At the mention of Asriel, Chara smiled, even if only a small smile. However, that smile quickly fell back into a frown. "Ms. Toriel thinks I'm going to hurt Asriel."

"Chara, why would you say something like that?"

"It's true, isn't it? Ms. Toriel took away my knife from the surface, and she hid all the kitchen knives. The fire pokers have been filed down, and now she's going to hide the matches. I know she thinks I'm going to hurt someone."

"Well, you're half-right," Asgore replied, "but Toriel isn't concerned that you're going to hurt Asriel. She's afraid you're going to hurt yourself. Those scars we found on your arms gave us plenty of reason to fear as much. What Toriel walked in on more than confirms it."

Chara curled his fingers into fists. It was his fault. He should have made sure the bathroom door was locked before doing anything.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Chara asked, voice cracking. "I don't deserve to be shown such kindness, and I most certainly don't deserve to be taken in by you and Ms. Toriel."

"It isn't a matter of what you deserve and don't deserve, Chara," Asgore answered. "There will be those you meet who won't deserve any kindness at all. There will be times you truly don't deserve to be treated kindly. Regardless, being kind is still a choice. You can choose to be kind to those who hurt you. Someone who you hurt can show kindness to you. Right now, I am choosing to be kind to you. Not because I think you deserve it, but because I choose to be kind."

Chara was silent for a moment, debating what Asgore had said, then replied, "I don't understand what you mean."

"Aha, well, all this emotional talking stuff isn't exactly my strength, but I make a point to try." Asgore reached out and lightly ruffled Chara's hair. "You're a good kid, Chara, even if you don't believe it. You are our beacon of hope in the Underground. The future between humans and monsters rests in your hands."

At the words, Chara's heart dropped. His mouth went dry, and his palms grew sweaty. There was no response he could think to give Asgore, but "You have to be mistaken" did cross Chara's mind. If only Asgore knew to whom he was talking. Had he known the background from which Chara came and the kind of demon Chara was, Asgore would say no such thing.

"Chara?" Asgore called, sounding concerned.

Wanting to hide what he felt, Chara forced a smile on his face and, with an even tone, replied, "Yes, Mr. Asgore?"

"I know I can't make your rain clouds go away," Asgore said as he scratched the back of his neck, "but I want you to know that nonetheless, I am here for you, Chara. I want to help you see that you are not a mistake. I believe in you, Chara. It's my hope that one day you will believe in yourself just as much."

"Thank you, Mr. Asgore." Chara smiled again, and this one was more genuine. Asgore never treated Chara as if he judged the child for his sins. Chara talked, and Asgore listened and tried to understand. Although Chara never magically felt better after their conversations, Chara was better able to move on.

"I'll tell Toriel to not talk to you," Asgore said, and relief flooded Chara. Then Asgore added, "Just no more playing with fire, okay? It's great that you were trying to help Asriel, but he will learn in his own time. Instead, you two should focus on other ways to have fun. Understood?"

"Yes, sir." Chara slid off the throne and said, "I'm going to change into my day clothes now. I'll see you at breakfast."

Asgore waved, and Chara ran off. Although what Asgore had said about Chara being the future between humans and monsters still weighed Chara down, he did feel better about the day before. If Chara was being honest with himself, it wasn't going to be too hard to start calling Asgore "Dad."

With this thought in mind, Chara considered what he could do to thank Asgore for all the kindness he had shown him.