Chapter 15

Chara had not been the same since that day in the festival. When their parents met up with them at Waterfall castle and Toriel took only Asriel with her to the event, Asriel could not help but be concerned about Asgore staying behind with Chara. Although the two remaining family members did eventually join them, Asriel could look at Chara and tell that something had immediately changed.

Not that Asriel would need this deep understanding of Chara to know. Shortly after Chara showed up with Asgore, he looked at Toriel and said in a way that wasn't obviously forced, "Greetings, Mother." Both Asriel and Toriel were equally shocked, even if for different reasons, that after all this time, Chara had finally called Toriel "Mother."

As if overnight, the fun-loving Chara had practically become someone else entirely. He appeared to almost always be in deep thought, and he acted more mature than before. Times in which Chara did act like himself were always cut short, like when they were running through the Waterfall castle's halls and they were scolded to stop, which Chara immediately did and never ran through the halls again.

The last day of the festival finally came around, and the Dreemurr family decided to stay in until the closing ceremony. Asgore and Toriel told the kids they wanted to relax, and since Asriel had already played every game the festival had to offer, he didn't see a problem with staying indoors and playing there. However, getting Chara to do anything with Asriel was a challenge.

"But you always want to play humans and monsters," Asriel whined when Chara told him that the human did not want to play the game with him. "Please, Chara? I'll let you be the monster this time."

Chara didn't even look up from the book he was reading as he sat on the windowsill. "Thank you for the offer, Asriel, but I do not want to play."

Crossing his arms, Asriel pouted. "You always complain that you never get to be the monster. Now I'm letting you be the monster, and you still won't play with me?"

"I have more important things on my mind than some child's game, Asriel," was all Chara said.

Tears welling in his eyes, Asriel replied, "You're supposed to be my best friend."

"That doesn't mean we have to do everything together," Chara retorted as he closed his book. "Asriel, I don't want to play at the moment, so stop asking me. Maybe later we can find something to do, but right now, you're being a real pain in the neck."

Asriel flinched as if Chara had struck him. "How dare you say that!"

Rolling his eyes, Chara sat upright and told Asriel, "Come on, Asriel, we both know that wasn't an insult. You're just mad because I don't want to play with you."

"I am not!" Asriel argued, only after saying the words to realize they maybe what Chara said had to be somewhat true.

"We can talk about this later, after we both have calmed down," Chara said as if had just participated in a screaming match with Asriel. It was odd Chara stated that they both needed to calm down when he had appeared calm this whole time.

Asriel didn't know what to say, and when he blinked, tears started to fall from his eyes.

"Don't cry, Asriel," Chara said. Looking Asriel in the eyes, Chara said something he had always told himself but never told Asriel before now, "Big kids do not cry."

Hearing Chara say that to Asriel left the young monster feeling as if the world had been pulled from beneath his feet. It was enough to shock him to suddenly stop crying. Yet after Chara stood on his feet, told Asriel that they would see each other later, and walked away, Asriel had never wanted to cry more in his life.

"No," Asriel told himself, wiping the tears from his eyes before they could fall. "Chara's right, big kids don't cry. I'm a big kid, and I need to act like one. I need to act like Chara."

Asriel said the words, but he didn't like hearing them. Crossing his arms, Asriel stared at his toes and tried to figure out what to do. Somehow, without any reasons he could bring to the front of his mind, Asriel started to believe that it may have been his fault that Chara was acting like this.


Chara lied on his stomach in the bedroom in Waterfall castle and kept drawing. All the pictures he drew first, which were now crumpled balls of paper, were nothing more than dark spirals on the otherwise clean page. That's how it felt inside of Chara's head. Everything was spiraling out of control, and Chara was helpless to do anything about it. If there was an end to all this suffering, it couldn't come fast enough.

Yet despite all the disjointed thoughts and consuming feelings, there was one clarity in Chara's mind: buttercups.

Buttercups Chara had accidentally put in the pie he made for Asgore.

Buttercups that he later learned were poisonous.

Buttercups which could kill if eaten fresh.

Climbing a mountain may have been a failure, but if Chara ate buttercups . . .

Throwing his color pencil across the room, Chara sat upright and placed his face in his palms. He didn't want to have those thoughts again. He hated them – he hated those thoughts far more than he hated humanity for putting them in his head in the first place.

Overwhelmed, Chara focused all his energy into breathing. Everything would be okay, he wanted to believe. It would all pass again eventually, he tried with no success to tell himself.

Chara dragged his hands down and looked at the picture he was drawing. Buttercups. Within the messy realms of his mind, only buttercups were clear.

It was as if Chara was looking at a sign, giving him his purpose in life if only he would just pay attention.


For the closing ceremony, Toriel told the children that they should dress in their best clothes so the whole family could look regal as Asgore gave the closing speech. Asriel liked to dress up, not that he would admit it to anyone. There was something about wearing nicer clothes that made him feel like he could be anything he wanted to be.

Asriel put on the dark gray slacks Merla made him put in his suitcase "just in case" and wore a solid baby blue sweater that was a little nicer than his usual green sweaters with the yellow stripes and a beige sweater vest with cream stripes over the sweater. After brushing out the fur on the top of his head, Asriel looked proud as he studied himself in the mirror.

"You look happy," Chara commented as he lied on his back on one of the beds, the book between his hands held high above his head.

"I like feeling like a prince," Asriel replied as he looked at Chara through the mirror. "When I was little, our family would go to church every week. It was always so boring, but I liked wearing my 'Sunday best' and having all the old ladies tell me how handsome I was."

Chara snickered but said nothing. Underneath his fur, Asriel felt his face get hot. Maybe he shouldn't have said that out loud.

"Of course," Asriel said, trying to sound like one of those cool characters from the movies his parents sometimes let him watch, "they were probably just saying that because they felt like they had to."

Now Chara laughed. "Yeah, I can believe they only told you that you looked handsome because Mother was standing right behind you and they didn't want to anger her."

Realizing what he said, Asriel's face burned hotter. "Wait, that's not what I meant!"

Book tossed aside, Chara held his sides and rolled around on the bed. In a mock high-pitched voice, he said, "'Tell my son that he is handsome, or I will glare at you until you do. I am trying to boost his confidence.'"

"Well, it worked!" Ashamed, Asriel hid his face under the collar of his sweater vest.

"Hey, Asriel, I am sorry. Please do not become a turtle on me," Chara said, sitting upright on the bed. "You know I like to mess with you."

Pulled the sweater away from his face, Asriel replied, "It is nice to see you acting like yourself again."

Chara frowned. "What do you mean?"

"You've been acting really weird." Asriel moved to sit on the foot of Chara's bed so that the two were face to face. "For the past few days, it's like you're here in body but your mind is lost somewhere else. You act too much like a grown-up, and you started calling Mom 'Mother.' It's like you're not the same person anymore, and it's really weird. I don't know what to do about it."

Shrugging, Chara simply replied, "I have had a lot on my mind lately. I am sorry to concern you so much. Besides, I am eleven. Sooner or later I have to start acting like a grown-up, especially if I am supposed to be the future between humans and monsters."

Asriel knit his brows together. "Wait, I thought you were ten, like me."

For a moment, Chara screwed up his face in confusion. After a moment, Chara exclaimed, "Oh! I know why. I was ten when you found me, but I had a birthday since."

"And you didn't tell us?" Asriel felt a little wounded but also relieved that the more mature Chara was indeed older than the cry baby Asriel. "When's your birthday?"

"September 15."

"Wait, that was a month after you came to live with us!" Asriel's eyes widened as if with horror. "We never celebrated your birthday!"

"I do not need my birthday celebrated, Asriel," Chara said, laughing it off. "I mean, I never had a birthday party, so it is not as if I need to start now."

"No birthday party," Asriel whispered, not knowing how any kid could live eleven years without having a birthday party.

Shrugging as if nothing mattered, Chara said softly, "People in my village . . . were never accepting of my family, and my family was never accepting of me. Even if I had parents who would throw me a party, nobody would have come."

"But why?" Asriel leaned forward and spoke as softly as Chara did. "Why was nobody accepting of anyone?"

For a moment, Asriel was sure Chara wasn't going to tell him. Then finally, Chara took a deep breath and admitted, "You know the wizards . . . that sealed monsters Underground?"

Asriel frowned. "What does that have to do with you and your human family?"

Instead of replying, Chara only looked at Asriel. After a moment, Asriel understood. He covered his mouth with his paws.

"Your family created the barrier?"

"My grandfather was one of the seven magicians, yes," Chara answered, his face growing so pale even his rosy cheeks were drained of all color. "Apparently after the monsters were sealed away, humans turned their hatred towards magicians, humans like them but only with the ability to control magic. The people of my village call magicians demons."

"Chara . . . , are you a magician?"

Shaking his head, Chara said, "My parents never accepted me because I never displayed any magical abilities. I got to be called a demon without the perks of being a demon. Like getting punished for a crime you didn't commit."

Asriel had so many questions and a long list of things he wanted to know. However, he said nothing. Having Chara reveal this much was more than Asriel thought he was ever going to learn about Chara. The last thing Asriel wanted to do was push Chara. Asriel didn't want this to be the first and last real thing Chara had ever told him about his past, especially since Chara had just revealed how long he had gone without telling anyone his birthday.

"I should get dressed," Chara said, moving like a zombie as he crawled off the bed. "If the whole family is going to look their best for the ceremony, then I should too."

There was so much Asriel wanted to say. He wanted to assure Chara that being related to a magician who created the barrier didn't matter, but even if he had the words to say, Asriel would not speak them. It never escaped Asriel's notice that Merla and Ms. Ivey were not really the nicest to Chara, and it was only recently Asriel began to consider that perhaps maybe other monsters might feel the same. If any of them knew Chara's heritage, Asriel could not imagine that they would be any nicer to Chara. What Chara had just revealed to Asriel was a secret so heavy, even Asriel felt burdened knowing it.

"I will never tell anyone," Asriel vowed as Chara searched for a change of clothes. Chara's posture didn't relax, and Asriel feared it was because Chara didn't believe him, so Asriel added, "This secret will stay just between you and me forever. You're my brother, and you're my best friend. I would never tell anyone something that would hurt you."

Although Chara still did not display any visible relief, he showed Asriel a small smile and said, "Thank you. That means a lot to me."

Nodding, Asriel swallowed. He wished there was something more he could offer Chara. However, he hoped that for now, this would be enough.


Chara only remembered bits and pieces of Asgore's speech during the closing ceremony. The monster king thanked his subjects for another wonderful festival celebrating their ancestor's sacrifice in the Human and Monster War. Something about one day the monster will once again be free from their prison and will live under the sun.

Despite putting in a great deal of effort to stand still and attentive, Chara barely had it in him to truly listen. His mind was a wasteland of garbage noise and static fuzz. It was as if he was not really there with his family.

I'm going to feel this way forever, Chara thought, dreading to think that perhaps it was true. No matter how much time passed and the moments in which he thought he was getting better, these feelings would return, and the darkness within him would feast on them until Chara could only feel drained physically, mentally, and emotionally. Believing that it would ever get better was impossible.

Chara didn't know that Asgore was gesturing him to walk forward until Toriel gently nudged the human. Blinking, Chara saw Asgore's extended paw. Slowly, Chara walked forward and accepted his monster father's paw.

Gently directing Chara in front of him and placing both massive paws on Chara's slim shoulders, Asgore proudly declared, "The future between humans and monsters!"

In response, the monsters forming the crowd below the stage erupted into cheers. Or Chara hoped they were cheers. The cries sounded more like shouts of condemnation.

There was so much screaming and yelling. Chara wanted to cover his ears and squeeze his eyes shut, but he resisted. Instead, he forced a smile onto his face and awkwardly waved.

It's up to me to save them, Chara thought, feeling the weight upon him not for the first time. I have to, but how? I'm worth more to everyone dead.

Chara had to stop himself from sucking in a sharp breath. The combination of a monster and human soul could pass through the barrier. It would require seven human souls to break the barrier.

Turning his head, Chara looked at Asriel. When he saw his brother looking at him, Asriel smiled in encouragement. Chara weakly returned the smile.

For the first time, Chara could see how he could be the hope and future between humans and monsters, and it all started with buttercups.