Chapter 22: A Long and Lonely Lullaby
"Oh, let the sun beat down upon my face
With stars to fill my dreams
I am traveler of both time and space
To be where I have been
Sit with elders of the gentle race
This world has seldom seen
Talk of days for which they sit and wait
All will be revealed
Talk and song from tongues of lifting grace
Whose sounds caress my ear
But not a word could I relate
The story was quite clear
Oh, oh
Oh, oh
Ohh, baby, I been flying
No yeah, mama, there ain't no denying
Oh, ooh, yeah I've been flying
Mama, mama, ain't no denying, no denying
Oh, all I see turns to brown
As the sun burns the ground
And my eyes fill with sand
As I scan this wasted land
Trying to find, trying to find, where I've been
Oh, pilot of the storm who leaves no trace
Like thoughts inside a dream
Here lies the path that led me to this place
Yellow desert stream
My Shangri-La beneath the summer moon
I will return again
Sure as the dust floats high in June
When moving through Kashmir
Oh, father of the four winds, fill my sails
Across the sea of years
With no provisions but an open face
Along the straits of fear
Oh, oh
Oh, oh
Ooh
Oh, when I'm on, when I'm on my way, yeah
When I see, when I see the way, you stay-yeah
Ohh, yeah-yeah, ooh, yeah-yeah, when I'm down
Ooh, yeah-yeah, ooh, yeah-yeah, but I'm down, so down
Ooh, my baby, ooh, my baby, let me take you there
Oh come on, oh, let me take you there...let me take you there
Ooh, yeah-yeah, ooh, yeah-yeah, let me take you there...let me take you there"
"Kashmir" By Led Zeppelin
(For Chingachgook)
Chingachgook nestled his back further into the small wooden nook that was the large oak tree's trunk, watching as the sun slowly crept its way along the glade. Inch by inch it smothered the shadowy darkness of night. Its' long golden fingers caressing the green grass's thick sturdy blades and tickling the soft petals of the white and yellow daisies that Mother Nature had splayed all around him, gently waking their utopia from its evening slumber.
He pulled his long lean legs up from their outstretched position and curled both his arms around his knees. The night had been long and lonely. A stillness had settled in almost as soon as he crossed the tree line into the forest. All the nocturnal creatures seemed to hush at his presence and he could not help but believe it to be because of their disappointment in him. Even now, with hours of reflection, his heart hung heavy in his chest. In the course of one evening he had denied his daughter her greatest desire, nearly assaulted his friend and had most likely alienated his sons with his actions. Chingachgook leaned forward and nuzzled his face in his rough calloused palms. What have I become? He had wanted, the entire night, to go back to the cabin to apologize. Though every time he made to move in its direction, he found his feet weighted down into the earth. As if some outwardly force kept him stagnant. And while he would have liked to have blamed The Great Spirit, he knew it was his pride and rather than go against himself, he sulked the night away, alone, without even so much as even the smallest of cricket's soft whisperings to keep him company. Alone in the silence he stayed all night long.
Nathaniel knocked softly on Pru's bedroom door, the morning light creeping its way down the darkened hallway. Inch by golden inch and yet another mournful reminder that their time at the farm was over. The night had passed by sleepless for everyone in the loft. Nathaniel never moved once from his position on the floor beside Martin. He stared, through dim candle light at first, then later, the soft glow of morning, at his friend's pain stricken face, morbidly watching his silent collapse. And no matter how hard he tried, he could not understand it, could not wrap his head around what was happening. All he could do was sit there and try his best to comfort his friend. His brother. While silently praying to the Great Spirit for guidance.
"Pru?" Nathaniel whispered, turning his head away from the sunlight and back to the door. "Pru…are you awake?" Silence. "Pru?" He whispered once more and tried jiggling the door handle. His efforts were thwarted as he realized she had locked the door from the inside, an occurrence that he was fairly certain had never happened before and gently laid his forehead against the door in despair. "Pru…please open the door…please."
Pru pulled her legs up into her chest, her body still curled up on the rough wooden floor exactly where she had cried herself to sleep the night before. She peeled back her eyelids, focusing her eyes on the small crack between the door and the floor and seeing the shadowed outline of Nathaniel's worn moccasins. She sucked in a slow deep breath, grabbing her chest as she did so, certain that the painful breath was proof she was dying and closed her eyes once more. How could this be happening? When for the first time in her life she felt whole, complete. Now, mere days later, she felt nothing. Her heart amputated from her body. Pru covered her face with her palms, blackening the new day's light from her sight as she silently mourned.
Her tears came quietly as her body was too worn and too broken to muster up anything more. She had blocked the sounds of morning from her mind, listening to only her own thoughts as they weaved their way through chaos of her head. Until, she felt the familiarity of a warm gentle palm upon her forehead and slowly peeled her fingers from her face. "Uncas…," she whispered through soft sobs as she slithered across the floor, laying her head in his lap and clutching onto his long outstretched legs. Her inner thoughts so weighty that she had not even heard him enter. Though, as always, Uncas's timing was perfect.
"I'm here…," he softly cooed into her ear as he engulfed her in his arms. Uncas peered down at her lopsided and disheveled bun, remembering how only a few hours ago she had looked so beautiful. Untouched by sadness and despair, her skin flushed from heat giving a rosy sheen so perfect on her young face. Not the crimson stained blotches that were now sporadically splayed across face from the rawness of crying. Slowly, Uncas shook his head back and forth, his displeasure over the whole ordeal creeping its way to the surface of his skin. He breathed in a steadying breath, if not for himself then for her, and carefully he began untying the sloppy knot that was now her hair. His nimble fingers lightly pulled at each individual knot until her long dark locks flowed loosely down her back. He could feel the wetness from her tears beginning to saturate his leg and lightly glided his thumb across her cheek. He had not seen her like this in quite some time. So sad, so frightened and ultimately so completely consumed by an unyielding grief. He knew there was nothing that could be said and nothing that could be done. Then feeling that familiar sensation of despair in the depths of his belly, Uncas smiled warmly down at her and began, soft and smooth as he always did when she was trapped in a nightmare that she could not escape.
Pru pinched her eyes tightly shut. The sweet sound of Uncas's ever changing voice filtering into her ears as he elegantly sang the same soothing lullaby that had become synonymous with her long ago endured heartache. How fitting, she thought as she breathed out a slightly hysterical giggle. The realization hitting her that she herself had hummed that exact tune to Martin only yesterday as they shared what would unknowingly become their last loving moment. The irony of it was gut wrenching, as it was almost as if the universe was silently preparing her for her own demise. Pru covered her face with her palms, smearing her sorrow all along them and silently asked herself for the thousandth time why this was happening.
"Pru?" Uncas softly questioned, tilting her chin up towards him. His sister's current uneven emotional state worrying him worse now then when she would violently awake thrashing in the dead of night.
Pru looked up into his questioning eyes and breathed, "I can't walk out there alone. I can't do this alone." Her eyes quickly welled up with new unshed tears.
Uncas leaned his head down, lightly touching his forehead to her own and whispered, "You are never alone. And we will find a way out of this. I promise you we will."
Pru stared up at him through wet eyelashes, lightly nodding her head at his words. She wiped her fingers across her eyes and straightened her back. Her throat was parched and her stomach churned wickedly with nausea, though still she rose to her feet and began morbidly preparing for their departure. Uncas keeping vigil over her as she moved slowly about the room. Only turning his back on her when she changed from her shift into an old pair of Martin's trousers and favorite colored linen shirt. Then watched as she neatly folded the shawl that Sampson had given her, placing it atop the bedside table. She sat back on the bed, pausing one final moment as she glanced aimlessly around the room. Committing every beautiful moment shared in the room to memory and carefully she removed her bangle from her wrist, gently gliding it down her forearm until it was free of her body. She twirled it in her fingers a moment before bringing it to her lips and kissing it, then delicately laid it on top of the scarf and rose to her feet. Her eyes lingered on her most precious possessions. If she could not be here to comfort him, she hoped leaving them behind somehow would. Finally tearing her eyes away from them, she swiveled her body towards Uncas. He held out his long thin palm to her, and she laced her fingers with his own. Brother and sister turned towards, facing the door and the day, together. He turned the cool metal knob and slowly pushed open the rough wooden door, to see Nathaniel leaning against the opposite wall, arms folded across his chest and eyes filled with sorrow.
"The window?" Nathaniel asked as Uncas made his way first from the room.
"The window," Uncas softly concurred as Nathaniel reached out, wrapped his right arm around his little brother's neck and kissed him square on the forehead.
Uncas wrapped his left arm around Nathaniel's waist and gingerly helped guide Pru out of the bedroom with his right. He squeezed her palm, still nestled tightly in his own and slowly she moved from the doorway out into the hall, where she lingered a brief moment. Stepping nervously from side to side. Nathaniel reached out with his free hand, cupping Pru's cheek in his palm, their blue eyes clashing as they stood bracing themselves for the emotional impact they all knew was coming. Nathaniel nodded his head at her, silently asking if she was ready and after one small dejected nod, all three made their way together towards the common room.
The three siblings crossed, arms linked, into the common room. The morbid atmosphere is even more smothering than the sweltering summer heat. They immediately saw Jack sitting hunched over atop one of the dining table's long wooden benches. His young face aged with apprehension and doing his best to muster a soft weary smile. To which Uncas smiled back and lightly nodded his head. Sampson was standing in the cabin's doorway. A pewter mug, no doubt filled with tea, dangling from his right hand. The usual warmth that filtered into each of his tiny features, replaced with agitation. Though as his eyes connected with Pru, his face softened with sadness.
Pru squeezed tighter to Uncas's hand as she searched frantically around the cabin for Martin. Her eyes connected quickly with Jack and Sampson, then shifted them to the left, past Chingachgook, who was leaning against the back of the long sofa and towards the far corner of the room where Martin stood silently, his springtime eyes boring into Pru.
"Martin…," she breathed and immediately made to step towards him. Though determined to follow through with his word, Chingachgook pushed himself up from the sofa and abruptly stood in her way.
Nathaniel stared wide eyed in disbelief at their father. "Why?" He quietly demanded from beside Pru. "Why can't they say goodbye?"
Chingachgook turned his head towards his oldest son, their noses mere inches apart and while he spoke no words, the darkened look in his eyes conveyed the muted statement of know your place. His stoic expression quickly shut down any further argument from his son. Then delicately, he snaked his fingers around Pru's upper arm and promptly escorted her out of the cabin into the glade. Nathaniel and Uncas following forlornly at their heels.
Pru wiggled her arm out of her father's gentle grasp the moment her feet touched down on Mother Nature's soft earth and shifted her body to face the cabin once more. She watched as her brothers took their last steps off the wooden porch and saw that Sampson, as well as Jack, had come out onto the porch. Though not Martin. Martin remained painfully absent.
"Jack?" Chingachgook questioned, seeing that Jack had made no further move to join them.
"I'll be staying here," Jack replied, standing a wee bit straighter and folded his arms across his chest as he too took his own stand against the injustice that was occurring there.
"Very well," Chingachgook calmly responded and glanced from Jack to Sampson, who stood quietly peering down at them from the top of the steps.
Sampson slowly blinked his eyes between open and closed, utterly resigned to this moment. The night had been long, mind numbing and filled with a tremendous amount of regret. For hours he had waited, nestled in his rocking chair atop the porch, for Chingachgook to return. Pipe after pipe he smoked, as he swayed back and forth in anticipation of his friend's return. Though as the evening's long hours passed, it became abundantly clear that there would not be another conversation had this night and eventually, with sadness in his heart, retreated to his bedroom, silently hoping that the spirits of the forest would help guide his friend back to his senses. Sadly though it was not to be and slowly Sampson's eyes shifted towards Pru. Her face was a mess of emotion. Her eyes were red rimmed with heavy eyelashes as she fought to blink back her tears. It was gut-wrenching to see her this way. Sampson lowered his eyes to the grass and softly he smiled. "Sweet girl…," He casually began as he tossed the rest of his tea outward into the grass. He raised his eyes to her and stretched out his arm, the empty cup dangling from his fingertips. "Would you be so kind as to help an old man place this cup inside the cabin?"
Pru's eyes welled with new tears as his words resonated within her. He was standing against her father and allowing her the goodbye she so desperately craved with Martin. Once more reaffirming his support of their union. She blinked her eyes, tears streaming gracefully down her cheeks as a soft smile crept its way along her lips. Then quickly, before her father could stop her, scaled the porch steps two at a time, snatched the cup from Sampson's hand and rushed into the cabin. The sound of her father's distant voice barely recognizable as she had but one focus right then. Martin.
Pru crossed the cabin's threshold, immediately turning her body to the right, towards the low muffled sounds of her lover's gut wrenching sobs. Where she froze, paralyzed by the sight of him. Martin was sitting with his back nestled deep into the corner of the wall, knees bent up to the rafters, head hanging low with his face buried in his palms. His dark green linen shirt fell untucked and rumpled around his hips. A telling sign of what she was certain was a restless night. His shaggy blonde hair was sticking slightly up where he had repeatedly yanked at it in unresolved frustration. His unquestionable beauty was stifled only by his deep sadness. Pru felt a twinge in her chest at the sight of him this way."Martin…," she breathed, her feet finally thrusting her across the room.
Martin lifted his head to the sweet sound of her voice, his anguished sobs had kept her hidden until now, and instantly reached out both his arms to her. His long fingers gripping her wrists and yanking her warm soft body down into his lap. He slid his arms around her back, untucking a small section of her shirt and snaking his hand up the small opening until his bare skin connected with her own. The skin to skin contact made him lightly gasp and curl his head forward, resting his cheek on her shoulder. His lips just barely grazed along the nape of her neck and lightly he whispered through broken sobs, "Why are you leaving?"
Pru grasped at the chest of his shirt with curled hands, fisting the fabric between her fingers and tilted the side of her face until she laid it gently atop his golden head. This question had been plaguing her since the moment Chingachgook announced they were leaving. The idea of standing against her father had been swarming her mind all evening. Especially knowing she had the full support of Sampson and l both her brothers, who she knew would stand beside her if she wished it. Uncas's promise to figure this nightmare out along with Nathaniel's quiet rage, had solidified for her their angered disbelief over the situation. Though deep inside her still lived the frightened thirteen year old girl that Chingachgook had saved from death and degradation that cold October night. The girl he selflessly brought into his home and family. His declaration of love by honoring her with an adoption ceremony and formally making her his own child. Pru pinched her eyes tightly shut as a million tiny memories from the time they had spent together flooded her. How could she leave him…like this, against his own wishes and after all the love that he has bestowed upon her? It was her adoration for him that kept her tethered to him wherever he was in this world. And as much as she wanted to yank the blade from Nathaniel's hip and slice at what bonded them together, she simply could not do it.
Pru slid her hands up his chest, her fingertips gently guiding Martin's head off her shoulder so she might look into his springtime eyes and said, "He saved me, Martin. Carried me cold and bloody off the hard forest floor. Made me his daughter. Cared for and loved me." The pained, sympathetic look in Martin's eyes brought on another onslaught of tears and quickly she continued before own emotions smothered her. "I love you…every moment of every day. I breathe you in in the morning and dream of your face in my slumber. You are always with me. Always." She finished, her heart raw.
Martin laid his forehead against her own and slowly withdrew his arms from her back, cupping both of her cheeks in his palms and murmured into her face, "This is not our end. We will find a way to be one soul again. No matter the time or distance between us." He shifted his eyes upright and released her face, pulled from around his neck his great grandfather's silver cross and carefully settled it around Pru's long thin neck. Now he understood the turmoil in her heart, understood the true depth of the painful situation she found herself in and so chose to do something that he desperately hoped would reassure both of their lonely hearts. He placed his palm atop the cross, pressing the cool steal gently into her chest. "I love you. You are a Blackwood now and for the rest of your life." He whispered as he smiled softly at her, trying his absolute best to keep from weeping. He pressed his lips to hers, her moist softness melting him and lightly traced the shiny silver cross that dangled between her breasts. "I love you," he breathed through their kiss.
"More than you will ever know…," Pru softly added as she raked her fingers smoothly through his beautiful golden locks.
"Pru…," the familiar sound of her father's voice wafted its way into the cabin and both she and Martin turned their heads towards the empty doorway.
"I can't watch you leave. I can't watch you leave me," Martin suddenly stammered out as he realized her departure was imminent.
Pru gulped down her sadness and nodded her head. Slowly she dragged her fingers out from his hair, cupping his cheeks with both palms. She brushed the tips of their noses together and stared into his eyes, memorizing every small flicker of yellowish brown neatly encased within a rich forest green hue. Then, as calmly as possible, whispered, "I love you Martin Blackwood and I will always be yours. Always." And slowly she swept her thumbs across his eyelids, blocking her and her departure from his sight. She swiveled off of his lap and began backing away from him. The tips of their fingers, the last of their bodies to separate and without looking back at him for fear of not being able to push forward, made her way out of the cabin.
The sunlight's brightness immediately stung Pru's skin and blinded her eyes as she crossed the threshold. It was bittersweet being given such a beautiful morning when there was so much darkness around them. She squinted her eyes against the sun's smile and quickly made her way towards Sampson, burying her head in his chest. Sampson leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her back, rubbing his palm up and down along her spine, currently and as it always was when she traveled, encased in Martin's old linen shirt. He kissed the top of her forehead and said, "You remember that this is now and always will be a place you can call home. I love you sweet girl and I know I'll see you soon."
Pru nodded her head against his chest and reluctantly broke away from their tender embrace. "Ik hou van jou," she whispered. Then quickly turned from him, not able to stand the cruel pain of the moment any longer and rushed down the cabin steps and out into the glade.
Uncas watched as Pru rushed past them, her eyes downcast as all she could focus on was taking one step in front of the other. His heart was aching for her, for Martin and without even realizing what he was doing, bore his young spiteful eyes at his father. A clash of dark seething angst spat at his father as their eyes met and slowly Uncas shook his head back and forth at his disbelief that his father could ever be capable of such cruelty. Then seeing nothing but resolute blankness in Chingachgook's eyes, turned on his heel and ran after Pru. Coming up quickly beside her and gripping her hand tightly in his own, squeezing her palm as he silently reminded her that she is not alone and together brother and sister crossed hand in hand into the forest.
Nathaniel stared after his siblings, watching as the forest swallowed them up. He wanted to say goodbye to Martin. To tell him that he would figure something out to make this right but as he climbed the cabin's rough wooden steps, the muffled sounds of his dear friend's sobs forced him to pause. He knew if he went in there it would only end up making things worse for Martin and he did not want that, so instead turned to Sampson, gripped his shoulder and said, "Take care of him."
Sampson returned Nathaniel's gesture and gripped onto his opposite shoulder and with a soft chuckle said, "Since the day he was born."
Nathaniel nodded his head and turned to Jack. "Thank you friend."
"I'll see you soon," Jack replied as he gripped Nathaniel's outstretched forearm.
Nathaniel squeezed Jack's arm briefly then turned and shuffled back down the cabin's steps, avoiding any contact with his father as he made his way out of the glade.
Chingachgook followed his oldest son with his eyes, watching as he too disappeared into the lush greenery of the forest. Nathaniel and Uncas's silent avoidance of him had not gone unnoticed and was even understandable as he did not doubt their loyalty to their sister and dear friend. Though hoped, over time, that both boys would come to see that it was not just him that would be losing Pru but them as well. And that while this moment was undesirable, it served to give them all the much needed time necessary to bridge the gap of the first thirteen years they missed out on. When Nathaniel's long lean body was no longer visible, Chingachgook swiveled his head once more to Sampson. His dearest friend's light eyes tainted with disappointment. Disappointed in him, in his actions and his motives and then without so much as a goodbye, spun on his heel and walked off towards the forest. Martin's sudden howl of pain ricocheting through his ears.
"Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
It's not warm when she's away
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And she's always gone too long
Anytime she goes away
Wonder this time where she's gone
Wonder if she's gone to stay
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And this house just ain't no home
Anytime she goes away
And I know, I know, I know, I know
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know
I know, I know
Hey, I oughtta leave young thing alone
But ain't no sunshine when she's gone
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
Only darkness every day
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And this house just ain't no home
Anytime she goes away
Anytime she goes away
Anytime she goes away
Anytime she goes away"
"Ain't No Sunshine" By Bill Withers
(For Martin)
Nine days later…
Sampson stood in the cabin's wide open doorway leaning, with arms folded, against its wooden threshold. He breathed in a slow deep breath of humid summertime air as he tilted his head up towards the stars. The bright twinkling splotches in the sky somehow offering him a small sort of comfort as he thought of his son. His son. Only hours ago, Sampson had bore witness to the near devastating collapse of Martin's psyche. The sight of which had been truly painful to witness. Watching as his son's emotions shifted from a quiet heartbrokenness to that of an almost uncontrollable violent rage. A rage so potent that as it coursed through his veins, he lost all of his senses and flipped their supper table over, scattering food, dishes and drinks all along the cabin's rough wooden floor. Sampson and Jack had stood helplessly gaping as Martin then fell to his knees and began shakily cleaning up his mess, clearly surprised by his own furor. It was then that Sampson knew there was only one thing that left to be done and kneeled beside him, gripping both of his shoulders, leaned into Martin's ear and calmly whispered to him that it was time to put himself in motion. It was time for him to go after her. It was time for him to take his own stand against this and so almost that very moment, Martin saddled himself atop Bishop and fled into the darkness of night to retrieve the other half of his whole. And as Sampson stared up at the beauty of the nighttime sky, all he could do now was hope and pray that at some point within the past nine days, Chingachgook had somehow seen through the muck of his own mind and come to his senses. Slowly he let his eyes fall shut and whispered into the open air, "Please Lord, please don't let this all be in vain. I beg this of you."
Author's Note: So I am sure some of you are wondering how I could be so cruel as to separate Martin and Prudence...but keeping with The Ties That Bind, I absolutely had to! In chapter 8 titled Before the Storm, Pru briefly recounts for Cora how she and Martin got together and were separated. Granted what she gave Core was the watered down version, since she didn't really know too well yet. And even in that chapter, it was Chingachgook's decision to take them away from the farm. I truly feel terrible for him. All he really wants is to keep his family together. He's just not expressing it in the right way :(
Pru and Martin's painful goodbye was heart-wrenching to write. Since I was trying to find a balance between a ton of different emotions. While Martin understands her reasons for leaving him, he is not handling it well. And at his father's urging has taken route to the Delaware camp. Should be interesting to see how that all plays out!
The next chapter will also see the return of Chaska! I have some interesting things planned for him ;)
I am a HUGE Led Zeppelin fan and the more I listened to "Kashmir" the more it just felt like a ballad of perfection for Chingachgook. And "Ain't No Sunshine" just encompassed Martin for me at that moment in the story!
Ik hou van jou - is Dutch for I love you
Thank you again to everyone who viewed/reviewed. Especially... AsterLaurel, Hazel222, BlueSaffire, ELY72, BrynnaRaven, MohawkWoman. Your support is endless!
And my apologies for the chapter delay...I was enjoying a bit of R&R in The Sunshine State! Even though hurricane Elsa threatened to ruin our good time...somehow I still managed to get a nice golden brown tan! See ya next Friday!
Thanks for reading ;)
