A/N: Well aren't you people amazing? Favoriting my story, following it, leaving reviews? I feel so lucky. You just make my days better which can be a hard task. I am thankful and grateful for each and every one of you!

So the only reason I didn't post is because my head is running a mile a minute. I was sort of assaulted the day I was supposed to write and post the chapter. And I say sort of because I wasn't raped and it was kind of my fault. Anyway I am in immense pain, both physical and emotional. I can't stop thinking about it and I am beating myself up and it's just a lot. I promise to do my best and be consistent when it comes to updating.

Now on to the chapter, enjoy!

It had been a week. One excruciating week spent in a hospital bed, hooked up in all sorts of machines, being high on pain meds for most part of the day. She was just glad that she didn't have to go through it alone.

Every day Jacob would stop by to see how she was doing, if she was in any pain, if she was emotionally pulling through, but his visits were short. He always used the excuse that he had to work and that he needed to leave to clean the lounge.

Gina showed up a couple of times as well, checking in. She had lost all the baby weight and looked quite ready to go back to work despite having given birth only four months ago. For some reason Amanda didn't understand why the ginger head kept apologizing for everything that had happened to her. And she told her as she had told the sergeant;

"It's not like you shoved your dick up my vagina."

The sergeant.

She kept coming in every single day. Amanda had repeatedly told her to go home, get some rest, that she would be fine but the other woman didn't comply. At some point Amanda thought she might have gone deaf because while she was talking she completely zoned out while staring at her.

"Oh, are you looking at my gorgeous features." She said ironically.

"The bruises are fading away." She observed. "And don't ever doubt your beauty again."

She remembers rolling her eyes at the comments but the smile that had formed in her face was brighter than the sun. For some reason her company really made her feel better, even when the news she brought weren't good.

Only a couple of days ago sergeant Benson had visited her, yet again, after she was done working and told her that Ramsey had been interrogated but had lawyered up the minute he realized what the meeting was all about. He claimed that the sex was consensual and that Amanda had enjoyed it to the fullest extent.

When he was asked about the bruising and her, nearly dying because of the choke hold he had her in, he said that she liked it rough. She didn't know how to respond to all this new information, normally she would have expected this, it's not like it hadn't happened before but deep down she had let herself hope.

And then her hopes went down the toilet.

"Well, I sure as hell didn't want that. I hope you know it."

That was her response and Olivia of course never doubted the fact that she had been raped and that this wasn't a case of rough sex. He was pleading not guilty and arraignment was this morning.

Right when she was discharged and ready to leave someone knocked on the door very gently. She knew that knock all too well by now.

"Come in." She said from where she was standing next to the bed, putting in the duffel bag Jacob had brought all her belongings. Clothes, underwear, toiletries.

"Hey- what are you doing?" The sergeant asked when she saw the blonde packing her things.

"They said they were discharging me today, remember?"

"Tell me you are not planning on carrying that thing on your own." She took a few steps closer to look inside the black bag and confirm her fears; it was fully packed.

"The bandages are gone, it's been a week and my ribs feel better. I would say that I am more than capable of carrying my bag and going home, Sergeant Benson." She scoffed and zipped the bag closed. "How did arraignment go today?"

"As expected he was considered a flight risk and because he owns a private jet the judge had him remanded at Rikers pending trial."

"Oh, great, that's good news." Amanda smiled tightly, people had let her down too many times in the past for her to get her hopes up so easily.

"Amanda there is something else."

She looked up and stared into brown orbs that stared right back at her intently. There were other news. Really bad news.

"What is it?" She asked finally, her tone stone cold.

"It's all over the news, the press, the papers. Somehow they found out it was you. Your name is all over the media. I don't know how they got the information I am doing my best to-"

"Don't bother." She interrupted her. "It's too late, there is nothing you can do and frankly you've already done plenty. More than anyone did in the past. It's not like I didn't expect the dirt to get out. There are not many burlesques in the city they found out where he hang out, they asked and it was as simple as that."

She was ready to pick up her bag but Olivia's hand stopped her.

"Let me. I will drive you home." When she saw that the blonde was ready to protest she spoke up again. "It's not a negotiation. I am not letting you carry that thing on your own and I am also not letting you take a cub in such condition."

"You are lucky that Jacob hasn't been answering my calls, otherwise he would come and pick me up."

And that's true, Jacob hadn't been answering her calls or messages since this morning. She guessed he is probably hangovered since last night was his night off and he probably thought it would be a good idea to get stupid drunk. It was still 10:30 in the morning after all, he must be asleep, right?

"And... here I am." She said when they stopped in front of her apartment building.

The car ride was rather quiet but comfortable nonetheless. Amanda asked if they could stop somewhere to buy a newspaper and coffee, she wanted to see what people were saying about her. Olivia insisted against it but if she was considered stubborn, the blonde was twice as much.

So they did stop. And she bought her coffee in hopes that her mind would wake up a little, and she did buy the newspaper.

Burlesque dancer accuses Wall Street millionaire of rape.

Dancer accuses Ramsey of rape.

The nicest view on Manhattan losing its beauty.

And those were only the light titles.

Nowhere did it say Ramsey raped a burlesque performer. They all just sounded like she was a hooker or a stripper. She was neither. She didn't get paid to have sex with any of the customers nor did she strip for them.

"I will help you up your apartment-"

"Look, Sergeant, the building has an elevator, I'll be fine." She chuckled. She kinda liked how the other woman was so worried about her. It reminded her of her grandma, she would always take care of her even when her parents didn't think she was worthy of it.

Though this woman was way younger and way prettier than her grandma. She was fierce and kinda hot.

Nope, no. You can't think of her like that, no.

"At least let me walk you to the elevator?" The brunette pleaded and this time Amanda couldn't help but roll her eyes.

"If I let you do that, will you feel better?"

"Yes, I will."

"Fine." She rolled her eyes again. Seconds later Olivia was out of the car, opening the passenger's door and helping the younger woman out.

"Give me a sec to grab the bag from the back. You got the keys?"

"In my pocket. God all this worry won't do you any good. You really need to relax." The sergeant locked the car and started walking at a slow pace, for the sake of Amanda's injuries, towards the building.

"Worrying about other people's welfare is my job. And if you have to know Ms. Rollins, I love it."

God this woman is so effortlessly amazing. No. Wait. We said no thinking of her in that way. Jesus it's been a hell of a week. I need a drink. Or two. Or three.

"Where did your mind just go?" Olivia said when she saw that the other woman had her keys in hand but wasn't moving at all. Instead she was just staring on the floor in front of her.

"That I need a drink." She scoffed and moved to unlock the entrance door. "Hey, Vlad, how ya doin'?" She asked when she spotted the doorman on its usual place behind the counter.

"Good, Amanda. Sorry to hear about what happened."

And here it was. What she was afraid of the most. The pity, the worry, the apologies. She hated it when people were feeling bad for her, she didn't need their sorrys she needed them all to leave her the hell alone. Just leave her be.

Breathe, Amanda. Just fucking breathe.

"Thanks Vlad, really nice of you." She gave him a tight lipped smile and started walking towards the elevator, the brunette hot on her hills.

"Wait I have an envelope for you, from the landlord."

"Bills? I have paid for everything this month, I am sure of that." She frowned and walked towards him taking the white paper in her hands.

"I don't know. Doesn't look like bills though."

"Okay, thanks Vlad, have a nice day." She walked towards the small box again and started opening the white envelope.

When she unfolded the paper and started reading its contents her complexion grew ten times paler and her jaw dropped to the floor. She practically looked like she would either have a heart attack or a stroke at any moment or that she would pass out within the next few seconds.

"Amanda? What is it, what does it say?" Olivia dropped the duffel bag on the floor and immediately wrapped a hand around her waist when she saw the smaller woman's knees buckle just a little.

"Amanda you are scaring me. Tell me what's going on."

"I... I am getting evicted. Landlord says that... that he had cleared it with me since the beginning; he doesn't want sex workers, or whores as he so eloquently puts it, in this building and that I have a day to clear the apartment. And he sent this..." She paused for a moment to check the date. "Today. Great, like my life wasn't already difficult enough, now I have to search for a new apartment and..."

The sob escaped from her lips before she could contain it and she immediately brought the hand that wasn't holding the letter up to her lips to muffle the sounds or prevent them from coming at all.

"Oh God, Amanda, I am so sorry. I can talk to him if you want, explain that you are not a se-"

"No need, serge. The world seems to think that I am a whore so I may as well give them the satisfaction. The nicest view on Manhattan, always there to please the audience!" She wiped away a few tears and pressed the elevator button.

"Amanda you don't have to-"

"Thank you for the ride, you can go now." Her voice held no emotion whatsoever when she leaned down and picked up the bag without sparing one second to look at the other woman.

"Please let me help you." She pleaded as Amanda walked inside the small box when the doors slid open.

"As I said, you've already done more than enough sergeant." The doors started closing but Olivia put her hand on one side forcing them open once again. Amanda rolled her eyes and puffed. "What?"

"I don't want to leave you alone like that."

"Let me let you in on a little secret, Sergeant Benson; I have been alone my entire life. I can take care of myself."

The brunette withdrew her hand and let the doors slide closed as she watched the woman inside walking backwards, shutting her eyes and resting her head against the mirror. Someone else she could fool but not Olivia, she could see the pain. Both the external and the internal one.

As she walked out of the building the only thing she kept thinking was the blonde. Every night ever since she heard her sing two weeks ago she couldn't get her out of her head. She was trying to sleep, her voice was there, when she closed her eyes her face would be there, even when she was doing paperwork she would catch herself humming 'welcome to burlesque'.

She tried to convince herself that it was just another case, she always got close, taking things personally and frankly how could she not? We are talking about special victims unit, if you didn't take things personally, if you didn't care with every inch of your heart, then what were you doing there?

And then she would go visit every single day, see if she was doing any better, how she was feeling. She reached out and touched her gently. It would be a thumb wiping a tear, a hand resting on a cheek or rubbing the other woman's forearm soothingly these very few times that she let her guard down.

She was not like any other victim.

She would let a few words slip from her mouth, things that she didn't want anybody to know, clearly, and seeming as a person who mostly kept things to herself, like her, Olivia blamed it on the drugs.

From the little she had gathered, Amanda had gone through a lot as a child. Someone had betrayed her trust. And that is something that happens to everyone at least once in their lives but, that someone had damaged her so much that the younger woman didn't allow herself to feel.

Who the hell hurt her so much. Somebody just bring him to me and I'll show him right.

That had been her one and only thought for the past hour or so as she was sitting in her office checking the paperwork from the few cases that they had managed to close the last few days.

She groaned, took off her black rimmed glasses and rubbed with her thumb and forefinger her eyes. It had been close to ten hours since she had left the blonde at her apartment building and she couldn't help but wonder how was she doing?

Did she find a place to stay? Had she packed? Was she in pain?

So many question that she didn't have an answer for and it honestly drove her crazy. When she heard a knock on her door she could only hope that it wasn't another case, another man or woman that had been hurt and was in immediate need of her services.

"Come in." She softly commanded the person who was standing right out of her office's door.

"Hey, serge, we are going with the guys for drinks, wanna come?"

"Where do you find the energy to go out after the week we've had?" She hadn't had to listen to her voice in so many hours and now that she did, damn did she sound tired. "Actually, I don't think I wanna know."

"Yeah I don't think you do." Fin chuckled and walked in to sit in one of chairs on the other end of her desk. "This Rollins case is taking a toll on you."

"Every case is taking a toll on me." She muttered under her breath and leaned back on her leather chair.

"Maybe, but there is something about you and that blonde."

"What do you mean, Fin? I am not in the mood to read between the lines so just tell me."

"Just... you seem to like her. You don't want us to notice, and the guys haven't but I ain't the guys. I have known you for fifteen years, Liv." The other woman sighed and looked her detective in the eyes. "Plus she is your type. Blonde, blue eyes, skin and bones." She rolled her eyes at him and he chuckled.

Deep down Liv knew he was right but she would never admit to that. At least not now.

"Go, have fun with the guys, I am going home. Lord knows how exhausted I am."

"Night serge, hopefully see you on Monday."

That hopefully see you on Monday actually meant hopefully I won't see you during the weekend, hopefully we won't be needed, but they all knew that the chances of a quiet weekend where few. There was never a quiet weekend in Manhattan, the city that never sleeps.

At some point during the day it had started raining, pouring more likely, and the cold just made everything very much unbearable.

She had opened her umbrella and was walking her usual way home. Walking in the rain as a New Yorker was a thing she had grew accustomed to and frankly quite enjoyed. There was something calming about the music rain drops produced.

It made her feel safe, even when the simple rain turned into a full on thunderstorm. She thanked God that this wasn't the case today, because yes she loved the rain but no, she didn't wanna get drenched.

She was about two blocks away from her apartment building when she saw a petite figure, curled into a ball, sitting in one of the benches, without an umbrella, letting the rain fall on her body. She was clearly in distress, the way she was trembling, most likely from the cold, the whimpers and the sobs that could be heard over the rain, they all made it obvious.

There was a suitcase, a duffel bag and a backpack next to her, getting soaking wet but she didn't seem to care at all. Olivia felt bad for her, something bad had obviously happen to that pour tourist and her heart instantly went out to her. She approached her and put her hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, ma'am, are you okay?" She asked, her voice loud to be heard over the noise the raindrops made as they hit the streets, but still kind.

"I am okay, thank you." The small woman had her head buried in her knees but Olivia still recognized that voice.

"Amanda?" She asked her brows furrowed.

The other woman slowly raised her head and looked up, red rimmed eyes, blonde hair stuck on her forehead.

"Sergeant Benson? What are you doing here? Are you stalking me? Should I report you?" Her poor attempt to joke formed a sad smile in Olivia's face.

"What are you doing out here? You are gonna catch a cold."

"I don't have a place to go." Her features crumbled and another sob came.

Olivia put her hand on one of Amanda's elbows and prompted her up gently.

"Yes you do."

A/N: oh, something is coming!!! Till the next chapter take care of yourselves and have a nice day or night!