A/N: No, your eyes aren't playing tricks on you, I have actually updated this story.

A lot of ideas came to kinda at once and I had to fit them all in one chapter because I really wanna move on to the next story I have in mind. This is the chapter before the last, y'all, and soon enough you will get a notification about the epilogue of this story. Now, enjoy!

Jack Cazinski was definitely not a hard man to find. All it took, really, was a google search in which everyone described him exactly as Amanda did; a wonder. From broadway shows to tours around the world with the Bolshoi Theatre. He was one of the most known ballet dancers in the world despite the young of his age. Truly, Olivia was impressed.

After searching a little more through the internet they found a couple of interviews of his where journalists asked about his name, his connection to the known family. He would politely say that he had cut all sorts of connections with his family ever since his father was arrested.

Well.

That was of no help. He was currently working as a choreographer on a broadway show which meant he was close enough for them to pay a visit and ask a few questions regarding the person that was with him at graduation, the person who they thought was his oldest brother and also the main suspect in their current investigation.

"I am telling you, detectives, my brother and I haven't spoken in quite a few years now." The dancer told detectives Tutuola and Carisi while walking with them towards his room backstage. "I have a career and an impeccable reputation to maintain in my field. A reputation not worth risking just to please my family's unorthodox ways of living."

The way he talked about himself, his career and his family held a pride and an indifference that could also be interpreted as arrogance. Or at least that's how Fin chose to see it given the incredibly fake, tight lipped smile he was giving the young man before him. Carisi could barely hold in his laughter at his superior's expression, choosing to mask it by pretending to clear his throat.

"We certainly understand Mr. Cazinski. May I ask if you at least know a way that we could possibly contact him?" The blue eyed detective asked as politely as he could.

"I am sure that if I scroll through my phone I could find an old phone number or an address, perhaps?" Turing around quickly to look at the detectives questioning him, he crossed his arms over his chest. "May I ask what this is all about?"

The two men briefly looked at each other before the older one answered the odd question coming from the star of Broadway who had stated he didn't really give a shit about his family. Or at least that's what Fin would say.

"Just a speeding ticket, nothing of much importance. Just, you see, our boss is a little up our asses lately so we gotta do what we gotta do." He shrugged, putting his hands on his pockets and staring down the man with his big brown eyes.

"Well, in that case let me see what I can do." With a raised eyebrow, a sass on his step and a sigh full of attitude and annoyance he walked into a room and emerged a few minutes later handing a piece of paper to the detectives with an address and a phone number written on it.

"Thank you very much and sorry to have bothered you. Have a nice day." Both smiled at him and received a dismissing wave from the diva that was the Russian.

"Whatever. I have rehearsal to head back to. Now, if you'll excuse me."

And with that he left, before getting the chance to hear the murmured 'Asshole' that came from the African American detective.

~•~

"I don't know if I can do this, Liv. This is- it just brings back so many memories. Things that I would like to forget if I am being honest. Plus, who says that it won't happen again, huh? I mean- I mean, who can guarantee me that this nightmare, this hell, will be over and that I won't find myself in more shit afterwards? Fuck, I don't think I can do this, I am sorry."

Before Amanda could think of exiting Olivia's office, the brunette was already on her feet, gently grabbing the blonde's hand and turning her around so they could be face to face.

"Amanda, honey, breathe." Closing her eyes the younger woman took a deep breath, releasing it a while later and opening her eyes again. "I can guarantee you, that he will never, ever, find out who you are. He won't be able to see you, you will be in and out of the room before they even escort him out and into interrogation. And I won't ever leave your side. Not here, not in court, not ever, really."

At the 'not ever' part something changed in Amanda's eyes. It wasn't very noticeable if you didn't know the girl, but Olivia did know her, and that sparkle, though small, was there and made her sapphire eyes shine bright like diamonds.

Liv, focus. This is neither the time nor the place. She needs you right now and not in the way you would like her to need you.

"Okay." She said with a small smile gracing her featured. "Let's do this now cause tomorrow is bound to be an even harder day with the trial and... honestly, Olivia, I just wanna sleep right now. Just fall face first onto bed and sleep." And maybe not wake up for another couple of years but she left that part unsaid, not wanting to worry the woman, that she had come to really like, any further.

Just like Olivia promised, the process was quick and she was out of the room only seconds after getting in. She remembered his features very clearly. The features of Alexander Cazinski, the one and only brother of her classmate Jack, the person who had lured her sister back into the dark side of life and the world. She prayed to God that this sorry excuse of a human would make her life a tiny bit easier by just spilling his guts out. Not that it was gonna happen but a girl could dream.

"See you tomorrow, Sergeant Benson." With a shy wave of her hand she walked out of the precinct, her gaze on the floor, her body ready to give up and give in to the depression that she so hard tried to push away.

We'll fix this, Amanda. I promise you.

Sighing, the Sergeant headed towards the interrogation room that the scumba- Alexander Cazinski was occupying.

~•~

"Everyone please rise."

And they rose. And that was it. She felt like passing out right then and there. Because he wasn't there when he was supposed to be and she didn't know what was happening and- why couldn't she breathe again? What was happening to her? She was never the kind of person to panic for no apparent reason. What-

"Sorry I am late. We were interrogating Cazinski all night and then I was so tired I fell asleep at the office. By the time they woke me- hey, are you okay?" In between her rambling she didn't take enough time to pay attention to Amanda.

"Where the hell is he? Do you know what happened?" She opened the first button of her perfectly steamed, white, carefully tucked into her slacks, shirt. She was sweating, she was worried and an invisible hand kept tightening its grip around her throat.

"Who isn't-" she turned around to check the room when she spotted that only the defendant's lawyer was there and not the defendant himself. "I'll go ask and see what's going on. Just take a seat and try to breathe okay?" After getting a nod from the blonde she moved to the front towards the ADA.

"Barba, what's going on?"

He turned to look at her and sighed "I have no idea. Probably the defense trying to pull some last minute trick. Your guess is as good as mine, Sergeant." He shrugged and turned back to the front to look at the judge.

"If the defense attorney would be so kind as to put his phone down and possibly explain why his client isn't present in my courtroom as he should be, then we can continue this trial from where we left off." Judge Barth said into the microphone, sending a very pointed look at Mr. Buchanan.

"I am afraid we cannot continue the trial, your honor."

"Really? And why is that?" She leaned forward resting her elbows on the wooden surface in front of her.

"I was just informed that my client passed away after suffering a serious heart attack early this morning on his way to your courtroom." He didn't seem that phased at all by the revelation he just made, as if it wasn't something huge. As if he didn't just throw a bomb at them.

You have got to be shitting me.

~•~

And just when Amanda thought that God hated her, after those news she decided that maybe He didn't dislike her that much after all.

When the words left Buchanan mouth she thought that maybe this was a joke and that someone was messing with her. But slowly and steadily the hand gripping her throat started to fall away, air filling her lungs and tears of relief rolling down her cheeks.

It wasn't the justice she wanted for herself. It wasn't the justice she deserved, her or any other woman that could be in her position at that moment. But this trial was one thing that she wouldn't have to deal with after all. Her life had been attacked by a tornado full of tragedy in its core and she just wanted someone to lift some weight off her shoulders.

And that someone had come in the form of an excruciating chest pain sucking the life out of her tormentor, the person who hunted her dreams (or more like nightmares).

She didn't hear the judge dismissing them, she didn't feel Olivia helping her off her seat and out of the courtroom and into an elevator. She didn't hear any of her kind attempts to calm her down she was just grateful, thankful and incredibly sorry. Sorry for the way she doubted that God would ever abandon her. He always showed up, maybe last minute but still.

"Thank you." She whispered softly, clutching the golden cross hanging off her neck as she stepped out of the courthouse with the Sergeant and ADA on either side of her.

They both looked at each other, not really knowing who she was thanking or what it meant for her, but they kept the questions to themselves because then the young blonde woman before them, one brave person who have been through so much in her life, looked up into the blue sky and smiled hopefully.

So it didn't matter. All the questions could wait, 'cause this smile was worth a million bucks.

~•~

"So, how are you feeling about, well, all the recent developments?" Olivia asked her, handing to the blonde a cup of coffee, or that thing they had in the precinct that barely tasted like coffee.

"You mean the fact that I was raped, twice, that my sister was also raped plus murdered, that my attacker died or that I still haven't found an apartment to live in?" She said it so casually that caused the older woman's eyebrows to raise.

"Well-" she started to say nervously, considering herself just a tiny bit stupid for even asking that question but Amanda interrupted her, deciding that it would be wise to take her out of her misery.

"Relax, Sergeant, I am kidding." She chuckled. She actually seemed better than she had in weeks. Somewhat less tired, with a bit more light in her eyes. "I think, and this is gonna sound extremely weird given everything, that I am actually fine." She took a sip of her coffee and looked at the smile Olivia was giving her. She hadn't seen it in a while. "What?"

"Nothing, it's just that, well, I haven't seen you this relaxed, ever. I gotta admit that I really like this side of you." She couldn't believe, for the life of her, that she was feeling shy and like a teenager in love. And yes she called it love now because she could no longer ignore that feeling in her heart and her stomach every time she looked into those eyes of hers.

"Really, though, how are you feeling?"

"I have definitely been worse." She sighed and leaned against the back of the couch, resting her elbow there and her head in her hand. "Is it how I wanted things to go? No. But I can't help the relief that washed over me when I realized that I wouldn't have to deal with the trial. It would have been traumatizing and exhausting and add Kim's murder to all that? Hell, it's better off this way. Not so much for Steve, but works for me. And I don't give a damn if that makes me a bad person."

"It doesn't." The brunette shook her head. "It really doesn't. You shouldn't feel guilty for feeling happy that a person died and especially not if that person was your rapist, honey."

And so she didn't feel guilty. And she didn't feel like a bad person. And she loved Olivia for being there to reassure her of that fact.

~•~

"I am not really sure I understand what is happening, I really need you to explain this to me in simple English." She let out a puff of air, running her hand through her hair roughly, desperately.

"He is willing to plead guilty to rape in the first degree, manslaughter and trafficking in-"

"The first degree, yeah, yeah, I got that much, but, I mean how?" She interrupted her, fully aware of how rude it was and not caring because everything had happened so fast that it made her head spin, it confused her.

"Actually the trafficking and the manslaughter are in the second degree-" she stopped mid sentence when she saw Amanda giving her a look that pretty much said 'really?' And proceeded to explain what exactly happened.

"Well, as you know Alexander Cazinski was our main suspect and after getting a warrant for a DNA sample we matched it to one of the semen samples we found in your sister." She spoke slowly, her voice as soft as velvet, trying to make this as comprehensible for the blonde as possible

"After interrogating him for a long amount of time and after he spoke to his lawyer, he decided to give names if we agreed on his terms. Barba and the defense attorney worked out a deal. In total he will get around 35 years imprisonment and five parole, which means that he will be out around the time he is a little over sixty and hopefully incapable of causing any harm."

"What about the others?"

"They will all serve life sentences for rape in the first degree and manslaughter." Liv concluded.

The tears that ran down her face were tears of pure joy because her sister's killers were going to prison. Not for murder, apparently they didn't want to kill her, it was an accident. Taking little Kimmy's life was a freaking accident. They all acted as if the life of a woman so young gone was nothing but to her? To her it was everything. But at least they would pay for what they did and that was definitely one form of sweet justice.

"Amanda, honey it's over." Liv rested a hand on her lower back running circles with her thumb smoothly.

"I know. I know, I am just- I am just really happy, that's all." And with that she broke. She fell into Olivia's arms and cried till there were no tears left to be shed.

I love you, Kim. Always have, always will

~•~

They were just exiting the big white building, that she hoped to never see the inside of again, after the people responsible for Kim Rollins' death were all convicted.

Amanda still couldn't believe that they actually pleaded guilty but both the detectives and Olivia said that after Alexander started talking the others didn't stand a chance. She took a deep breath and turned to look at the brunette that had stolen her heart in such a short time. She was coming towards her after saying goodbye to the ADA, to whom Amanda offered a small wave of her hand and a nod of appreciation.

"So, what's the plan?" Olivia asked her a bit more cheerfully than usual.

"Well, for starters Imma have to plan a funeral for Kim, nothing extravagant. Me, a few people from Georgia, unfortunately my mother." She rolled her eyes at the last person she mentioned.

She loved her sister, she really did, and she knew that this was a hard time for all of them but that woman didn't deserve her love, acceptance or attention. But to her misfortune blood was blood and Kim loved their mother so what choice did she have, really?

"And after that?" Olivia asked again, hoping that maybe she would be involved in the blonde's future plans.

"I, uh, actually have an audition next week. I am not very optimistic about getting the part but I am gonna do my best." She shrugged and let out a laugh.

"I am sure you are gonna do great. What role are you gonna be auditioning for?"

"Eva Peron." Olivia 'wowed', clearly impressed by the revelation. It just showed that Amanda had standards. "Yeah, I know. The director is one of the people I had the pleasure of meeting at Juilliard, fingers crossed he remembers me and I make a good impression."

"You will, I am sure of it." The sadness in Olivia's eyes was evident.

The end of them was coming. She knew it, she could see it, feel it, even, and she didn't like it one bit. Neither of them did.

"I know what you wanna hear, Liv." Amanda suddenly said, looking straight into Olivia's brown eyes. "And I desperately want to say it, too. But I am just not there yet. I need to sort things out, heal and then start something that I want to last forever."

Tears gathered in both their eyes and Olivia gave Amanda a trembling smile.

"I understand. I really do. No worries, we have time ahead of us. I will wait." She grabbed her hand and squeezed it in a way of showing her that she meant every word she had uttered.

Amanda tiptoed just a little and placed a kiss on Olivia's cheek. Planting her feet on the ground again she looked at the other woman as a tear rolled down her face.

"See you again, Liv."

"See you again, Amanda."

And they both walked away, not turning back to look at each other afraid that it would hurt a bit too much.

A/N: Next chapter is the epilogue.