For the remainder of the term, Mr Mortem seemed to hover over Bagsy's every movement. He stood at the edge of the great hall during lunch, his silhouette waited by the lake and observed ominously during Thaumathletics, and in Potions Professor Blythurst, for once, seemed somewhat awake out of sheer spite for the Ministry official who had the audacity to be in his classroom, not that it made him do any actual teaching.
It was bad enough that exams were approaching and Bagsy still couldn't consistently cast spells, she didn't need a creepy man watching over her shoulder to add to her problems. She was half-wishing some big catastrophe would happen like it had the previous years, so she could be spared the need to pass her exams and be guaranteed to remain at Hogwarts despite her magic inability. Bagsy hated herself for thinking it the second it slipped into her mind, though. Exams were a pain, but they didn't put her or other people's lives in danger. She could deal with Mr Mortem's hovering, even if it was deeply disturbing.
'What is he waiting for?' Bagsy worried to Mezrielda Friday evening in the library. The worst part about Mr Mortem was the infrequent nature of his followings – he wasn't there every day, or even every other day, but showed up at random times, in random locations. Sometimes she noticed him twice in one day, or not at all. It was like having permanent goose bumps. It was as bad as seeing Arice around. Walking the castle was something Bagsy was started to dread, now a days. 'I just want to curl up in my private room and never go anywhere ever again.'
Mezrielda looked annoyed. 'He has no right to be harassing you like this. It certainly doesn't sound in line with regulation. What do you reckon he tried to give you during the interview?'
Bagsy shrugged. 'I don't know – there are a fair number of potions that are colourless.'
'Sure,' Mezrielda said, narrowing her eyes. 'But I doubt there are many that have a use in interviews, or that Mortem would feel the need to hide his use of.'
Bagsy put her head on the table and groaned her agreement. 'I'm sure you're right, but I'm too stressed to figure it out.'
'That is understandable.'
Bagsy sat up suddenly. 'Could you do it?'
Mezrielda blinked at her. 'Can I do what?'
'You know what.'
She sighed. 'I could try to figure it out, if I wanted to,' she confirmed before slipping into silence.
'So, you don't want to figure it out?' Bagsy questioned, feeling a little hurt.
Mezrielda shifted in her seat uncomfortably. 'That's not what I said,' she argued sourly.
Bagsy paused and took a second to run the interaction through her Mezrielda-translator. 'Ah. So you can't figure it out.' She smirked.
Mezrielda clenched her jaw. If she were a magpie in that moment Bagsy was certain her feathers would be ruffled. 'You can't figure it out either,' she protested indignantly, 'and you essentially teach third year potions, so who's the fool here, really?'
Bagsy just kept grinning.
'Bagsy!' Arice's voice called from the end of the book shelf a few paces away from their nook of the library.
Bagsy ducked below the table in an attempt to hide, before realising how stupid she looked and awkwardly returning to her seat. 'A-Arice…' she trailed off. Mezrielda glared flatly at him.
Looking unsurely at Mezrielda, Arice walked over to them and smiled. 'Hey, uh, I was wondering if you wanted to go to Hogsmeade together this weekend? It was really fun last time, huh? We could even watch the Ravenclaw versus Slytherin match afterwards together.'
Shivers overcame Bagsy again. 'T-that's so nice of you to ask,' she said, guilt and discomfort crawling in her gut. 'I'd love to-'
'Great! I'll see you tomorrow then.'
'-but…' Bagsy trailed off again.
Arice paused and smiled cautiously. 'But?'
Mezrielda folded her arms, clearing having had enough of his nuisance. 'Butt out,' she clarified for him.
'Mezrielda!' Bagsy chastised, then turned back to Arice. 'I'm sorry I just… I'm uh…doing something then.'
Arice arched an eyebrow. 'Oh? What are you doing? I could join – Hogsmeade can be overrated anyway, and we can still go and see the match afterwards if you're free.'
Mezrielda ground her teeth, muttering, 'Take a hint,' under her breath.
Bagsy stammered, a blush angrily filling her cheeks. 'N-no, you can't, I mean, wait, it's just, uh.' She looked around in hope for an escape. 'I already promised I was going with someone else. Sorry,' she added meekly. 'Maybe we can hang out another time? We do make a good team in Herbology, and I really do enjoy having you as a friend, I think I'd just rather spend this Hogsmeade trip going with someone else, if that's alright.'
Arice's face was still, his smile mildly confused, and his eyebrows raised. Then, his features slowly sank into contempt. 'You're lying,' he said. 'You're just being a jerk, Bagsy. I thought you were different. I was kind to you and nice to you-'
'Those are the same things,' Mezrielda grumbled quietly.
'-and you repay me by not going to Hogsmeade with me, and not liking me back. It's not fair! How much does a guy have to do to get what he wants, honestly? Why won't you come to Hogsmeade with me? You're being so selfish.'
Bagsy opened her mouth to say something, but she couldn't think of what to say. Honestly, she was a little confused as to what precisely Arice meant. 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you,' was all she ended up saying, her worst nightmare for the situation coming to life.
Mezrielda's chair scraped loudly as she got to her feet. 'Are all Gryffindors this dense?' she hissed. 'Bagsy is going to Hogsmeade with me – her friend – obviously. Someone who is nice and kind to her without expecting anything in return.' Mezrielda jabbed her finger into Arice's chest for emphasis before brandishing her wand. Fearfully, Arice held his hands up and took a step back. 'Now get out of my sight before I turn you into an ant.'
With a final frustrated look at Bagsy, Arice turned and stormed from the library, muttering 'Stupid girls,' under his breath.
Mezrielda sat back down. 'What an idiot,' she huffed. After a moment she glanced at Bagsy. 'I didn't mean to speak over you,' she added. 'I just felt rather… disturbed by his words. Not that I can't control my temper, I just decided to let it run free on this occasion.'
'You don't need to be sorry,' Bagsy said, looking in the direction Arice had gone. 'I'm not sure exactly what happened, but I agree. I think he was being a bit of an idiot.'
'My lie was worth it, then,' Mezrielda decided.
'Lie?' Bagsy tilted her head.
Mezrielda swallowed, rolling up the parchment she'd been staring dully at for the past hour and standing up again. 'Yes. About us going to Hogsmeade.'
'Oh.' Bagsy shifted in her seat, trying to find words. 'Mezrielda, I think I'd really like to go to Hogsmeade with you.'
Mezrielda stilled, the sour expression on her face twitching. 'That's good to know,' she stated tensely, lowering herself gracefully back into her seat. 'As it happens, I would not be displeased by a visit to Hogsmeade amongst your company, either. So long as the loud ones who sometimes pester you don't end up tagging along, I see no issue.' Knowing Mezrielda, that was tantamount to jumping for joy.
'It's settled then, and we were planning on watching the quidditch match together afterwards, anyway.'
'It's a decision founded in logic,' Mezrielda said. 'As a logical person, I must make it, and that's all there is to it.'
'Yes, quite,' Bagsy mocked, putting on a posh voice. 'I'm sure it will be positively spiffing, my acquaintance.'
'Careful,' Mezrielda warned, arching an eyebrow. 'It's unwise to use your entire vocabulary in one sentence.'
'Ouch. Good one.'
Mezrielda was still a little taller than Bagsy, so it was her job to scout above the heads of the other students and watch out for Arice. They didn't want any unfortunate run-ins with him during their visit to Hogsmeade.
'Though,' Mezrielda reasoned as they walked along at the back of the procession of students, 'if he does see us, it will only add credence to our cover story. I did say you were going with your friend. If he sees us, he'll see you were telling the truth.'
'I suppose that's true, but then I might see him, and I really don't want that.'
With a hum of understanding, Mezrielda agreed, before gesturing ahead of them, at the dark cluster of cottages. 'Look; Hogsmeade. We're nearly there.' Bagsy felt excitement well up inside of her. Mezrielda looked at her. 'What do you want to do once we've arrived?'
Bagsy thought back to when she'd visited with Arice; he hadn't bothered asking her what she had wanted to do. 'I want to go into Hoohsair,' she said, twiddling her fingers and hopping from one foot to the other. 'And the sweet shop, and the shop that sells quidditch gear! What about you?'
Mezrielda nodded in approval. 'I'd also been hoping to frequent those establishments as well. I'm also fairly tempted to get a new quill from Ink Blots, and perhaps peruse the books Tomes and Scrolls have on sale.'
'It will be hard to visit all of those in the time we have,' Bagsy said. 'Especially if we want to get some butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks afterwards.'
'Butterbeer?' Mezrielda crinkled her nose. 'That sounds simply revolting.'
Bagsy laughed. 'I'm sure they'll have some pumpkin juice you can have instead.'
As it turned out, Mezrielda had a map of Hogsmeade she'd received the last time she'd been there. 'I didn't do much besides visit Pepsini and get you the foldable forge,' she explained. 'He also gave me this map. He said knowing the layout would help me follow-' Mezrielda cut off, her face squishing up as if she'd eaten something very bitter. 'I meant to say, it would help me navigate the twisting streets of Hogsmeade.'
'Follow? Follow who?' Bagsy asked, frowning. Mezrielda looked at her like a rabbit greeting a hungry fox. Bagsy narrowed her eyes suspiciously.
Mezrielda looked away and up, whistling as if nothing was wrong with the world. 'Anyhow,' she moved swiftly on. 'I have a map of Hogsmeade. We can use it to plan the best route.'
'We can maximise our visit that way!' Bagsy realised, taking the map from Mezrielda's hands and scanning the information, mumbling as she thought on the best direction to take. As they reached the main high street of Hogsmeade, Mezrielda and Bagsy were moving at a fast trot, their plan clearly in mind.
First on the list was Hoohsair, the closest shop. It was crooked and taller than it was wide, painted in green, yellow and purple stripes. On the cobblestone in front of it a tall pole, patterned like a giraffe, was spinning around so fast it made Bagsy feel dizzy. There were only two small windows, but the curtains were drawn so you couldn't see inside. Mezrielda confidently strolled up to the door and moved to turn its handle. She stepped through the doorway and was promptly spat back out.
'YUCK! DISGUSTING!' a voice cried out theatrically. It was a magically triggered voice, Bagsy realised, recognising the kind of magic her parents used on their doors.
Sprawled out on the floor, Mezrielda let out a shocked breath. 'What on earth?' she muttered, standing up and dusting herself off, checking that no other students had seen the incident.
Bagsy, enacting caution, approached the door and read the small, golden print below the letter box. Knock Twice and Ask 'Who's There?' it read. With a victorious look at Mezrielda, who's arms were folded, and nose flared in annoyance, Bagsy knocked on the door. 'Knock knock,' she said, 'who's there?'
'WHO'S THERE? WHO'S THERE? IT'S HOOHSAIR, JOKE SHOP EXTRODANAIRE!' the voice bellowed back so loudly Bagsy had to grip the door frame to stay standing. She heard a thud and looked to see Mezrielda had taken her second tumble in as many minutes.
With dishevelled hair, Mezrielda glowered up at Bagsy, who was covering her giggling mouth. 'Not a word,' she hissed as she got back to her feet.
The door had flung itself open, so they stepped inside. The inside of Hoohsair was filled with more ladders than floor space and with shelves covering every possible inch of wall, crammed with oddities. Bright colours sparkled as floating bubbles spun in the air, multi-coloured hats, books and mugs rattled about as they barked or roared or whinnied. Nervously, Bagsy climbed one of the ladders. Sometimes the ladders went up, sometimes horizontally and sometimes, the feeling of gravity shifting around her like it did when she wore her spider slippers, they travelled upside down. At one point she passed Mezrielda, who was climbing upwards as she was climbing down.
'Fancy seeing you here,' Mezrielda said, feigning surprise.
'Oh, you know.' Bagsy shrugged from her upside-down position. 'Just hanging around.'
Mezrielda groaned, lightly hitting her head against the ladder rung nearest her forehead.
Bagsy picked out a cup that emptied whatever was poured into it, thinking it a good trick to play on Mezrielda at some point, as well as some neon-green star-shaped sunglasses that made everything you looked at back to front.
Mezrielda had been eyeing some of the more expensive fancy looking ornaments, but with a glance at their price-tags, had declared them unfit for her ownership, and that she hadn't wanted them to begin with, anyway. Contending that most of the objects were too childish for her, Mezrielda was trying her best to hide the cheap paint bomb she intended on purchasing.
'I thought this stuff was for babies,' Bagsy accused her as they climbed up to the till, which was at the very top of the shop.
Mezrielda looked away sulkily. 'I thought it contained interesting colours. It's for art, which is a very grown up hobby, I'll have you know.'
'If you say so,' Bagsy intoned in a sing-song voice.
After an age of waiting, Bagsy finally placed her items in a floating wicker basket. A man who looked more mole than human examined her items and began to count up her sum. As she waited Bagsy looked at the sign hanging above the man's head. It read; Wizard currency ONLY. (Or a good idea.)
'Oh,' Bagsy said out loud. 'Um, excuse me, sir?' The mole-man paused his counting and looked up at her, nose twitching. Bagsy pointed at the sign. 'Can I offer an idea?'
The man nodded, reaching onto a shelf behind him and, with more speed than Bagsy could react too, shoved a helmet onto her head. It was large and fell over her eyes, blocking out all light. She let out a yelp of alarm as a sucking sensation filled her brain.
After a few moments, the mole-man pulled the helmet off of her and placed it back on the shelf. A large cartoon thought bubble was hovering above it, showing the image of bubble-gum parachutes. 'Not bad…' the mole-man grumbled, handing the glasses and cup to Bagsy. 'You can have these for free. The idea is payment enough.'
Bagsy took her items and hurried out of the shop.
Mezrielda joined her a few moments later, small glass sphere of coloured paint in hand. 'That was odd,' she commented as they set off towards their next stop, the Olde Sweet Shoppe.
Bagsy nodded. 'I never want someone to poke around in my head again,' she muttered. It had felt similar to when Tod had meddled with her memories.
To make herself feel better, Bagsy purchased some toffee apples, gravy candy, bumble bee lollipops and peanut butter snowflake doughnuts. She jokingly told Mezrielda she should get the ice cream pizza, who sneered in distaste and opted for a 'far more mature' selection of fine fudge. When Mezrielda looked in dismay at the price, Bagsy simply took the fudge from her hands, ignoring her protests, and bought them for her.
They didn't spend long in the quidditch shop, as Bagsy soon realised she'd buy the entire shop's worth of items if she hung around too long. Not wanting to hog all the goods to herself, she hurriedly bought some spare parts to replenish her supplies and exited, glancing covetously back at all the expensive brooms, shoes, and helmets she so desperately wanted to buy.
'If you give me your money I can buy you one of each,' Mezrielda offered. 'Then you won't have to worry about being restrained.'
Bagsy hesitated, tempted by the offer. 'No,' she murmured, forcing her feet to carry her away from the shop.
'Why not?'
'I…' She hesitated. 'If I do well in quidditch, I want it to be because of my skill, or how I've managed to improve my gear. Not because I've bought better stuff than the opposition. Then it's just a game of who has more money, and that's not fair.'
Mezrielda shrugged. 'I suppose. I'd just buy it all, though, if I were you.'
'I know you would,' Bagsy teased, 'but I'm not you.'
'Yes. It's such a shame.' Mezrielda tutted, 'Sadly, the world is limited to only one Mezrielda Glint. A tragedy, I know.'
They passed by Twings and Twangs, a music shop with a sign proclaiming, in flashing letters, that they only sold string instruments. The shop immediately after, Bings and Bongs, announced as enthusiastically that they only sold percussion instruments. Bagsy glanced between the two buildings – even the structures looked like they were trying to jostle the other one out of the way. 'Something is definitely going on there,' Bagsy decided.
'Almost certainly,' Mezrielda said in agreement.
Tomes and Scrolls was at the end of the high street, next to the Wizarding Wireless Network Headquarters. Strangely, both the Headquarters and the Bookshop had the same posters in their windows. Bagsy took a second to read them, but before she could finish the first word Mezrielda was letting out a low growl.
'No way,' Mezrielda fumed, storming into Tomes and Scrolls.
Taking just a moment to finish reading the poster, that announced the exciting release of a wireless production of Vampire Affairs, Bagsy followed after her.
Inside, Mezrielda was having a heated discussion with a young man wearing an apron with Tomes and Scrolls being written out, over and over again, on the front in curling calligraphy. Stacked high on a table in the middle of the store were more copies of the same book than Bagsy had ever seen in one place, all a bright purple with Vampire Affairs written in deep red on the front, blood dripping from the A and the S, and the M drawn as a pair of fangs.
'What do you mean?' Mezrielda ranted. 'A live picture production?' She put air quotes around the words, making mocking tones with her voice.
The boy shrugged. 'Look, teenagers like this stuff, it's popular, it's a safe bet, so they're going with it.'
'What even is a live picture?' Mezrielda asked. The boy simply handed her a flyer and walked away, looking done with the world.
Pushing past a gaggle of students huddled around the Vampire Affairs books, Bagsy reached Mezrielda's side. 'What's the matter?'
Mezrielda was red in the face and frowning. 'Vampire Affairs is a stupid, tasteless, stupid, vapid, stupid series that for some unknown reason is immensely popular.' She shoved the flyer in Bagsy's face. 'And it's been chosen as one of the first shows to have a live picture production.'
'Live picture production?'
'That's right. According to this, it's as if theatre and the wizarding wireless had a love child,' Mezrielda said, gesturing at a section at the bottom of the flyer. She paused, squinting at the words, and began to read. "Live Picture Productions are a new and exciting format through which to consume and enjoy all your favourite stories. Live Pictures combine the real-time aspects of the wizard wireless with the thrill of seeing actors right in front of you as they perform their craft. Experience love, fear, joy and elation in this all-encompassing, innovative medium. Purchase the Live Picture Projector 2.0 now and gain a free ticket to see the first season of Vampire Affairs during its release next year, acting-scouts dependent.' Mezrielda scrunched the flyer up in her hands and threw it on the floor, letting out a grunt of frustration before stomping on it for good measure. 'Vampire Affairs, Bagsy, Vampire Affairs!'
'Vampire Affairs?'
'Vampire Affairs!' Mezrielda threw her arms into the air before storming out of the shop, fists now clenched at her sides. Bagsy shot the boy who worked there an apologetic look and exited after her, noticing two fifth years eagerly looking at the pages of the second Vampire Affairs book in the series and swooning at whatever was written.
'Mezrielda!' Bagsy called after her friend, who was marching towards the Three Broomsticks. 'Wait up!'
'Of all the things to pioneer this new artform with they choose Vampire Affairs?' Mezrielda was muttering to herself.
'What's so wrong with Vampire Affairs?'
'It's just awful, Bagsy,' Mezrielda explained as she shoved the door to the Three Broomsticks open, the entrance bell letting out a welcoming jangle. 'Rotten, repulsive, disgusting, preposterously primitive, bombastic, inflated, superfluous, insidious, deceitful, atrocious, substandard, dissatisfactory, abominable, unacceptable-!' By the time Bagsy had ordered one butter beer and a pumpkin juice, with a clearly needed extra shot of pumpkin pulp, and had sat down at a table near the back of the pub, Mezrielda was beginning to run out of adjectives. 'Just... simply… bad,' she emphasised.
'I don't think I've ever seen you so invested in something before,' Bagsy breathed. 'What's up, Mez? Why do you hate Vampire Affairs so much?'
Mezrielda downed her pumpkin juice in one, slamming the glass back onto the table. 'I don't want to get into it,' she grumbled, then proceeded to get into it before Bagsy could open her mouth. 'Vampires get a bad enough rap already. They're only allowed to live in certain properties which for historical reasons,' she said mockingly, pulling a face, 'they can't perform basic upkeep on using magic. They're barred from applying to any jobs in the wizarding or muggle worlds, are taxed far more heavily because of the penitence tax, otherwise known as being a vampire and having the audacity to exist, and are no longer allowed to create vampires even through consensual, traditional rituals that have been passed down through vampire families for centuries! Even when someone wants to be turned into a vampire, they legally can't! And what do they do to enforce this? Only uphold the most despicable of all legislations; de-fanging, where they forcibly take the secondary fangs out of a vampire's mouths, so they can't create more vampires.' Mezrielda paused for a breath, then quickly excused herself to order another pumpkin juice.
She only made it half way to the counter before she made an about face. 'And another thing!' she pushed on, Bagsy pressed against the back of her chair she was bombarded with so much information. 'Those fangs aren't even left with the vampires, despite their traditional use in fang necklaces to commemorate the length of a vampire's lineage! Instead they're sold as potions ingredients! Potions ingredients, Bagsy! How would you feel if your parent's teeth ended up in someone's anti-acne potion instead of on the necklace you were owed by birth or adoption right to honour the people who raised you?'
'Uhhh….' Bagsy wasn't sure how to answer that question she was so bamboozled by everything Mezrielda was saying.
'And then along comes Erwine Swampwoth, in all her wisdom, who understands vampires so well that every single one she writes has a six pack, eyes devilishly tempting like a chocolate cake, and an unshaking belief that the Ministry for Magic are saints for even breathing in their direction, let alone leaving them alive! And then everyone goes 'oooh, Vampires, how intriguing' while voting to have them forcibly removed from the country.' Mezrielda's shoulders surged up and down as she dragged in long breaths. A group of elderly witches at a table one over from them cast her odd looks, before trying to subtly shuffle their chairs away, pulling their witch hats low over their faces as if trying to hide themselves. With a sigh, Mezrielda hung her head and slid back into her seat.
Unsure what to do, Bagsy forced herself to reach her hand out and lay it on Mezrielda's. 'Honestly?' she said gently, coaxing Mezrielda to look up at her. 'It sounds awful.'
'Doesn't it?' Mezrielda asked, a look of relief forming in her eyes.
Bagsy nodded. 'All those people reading those books, having no clue what the real world is actually like.'
'And now it looks like Live Pictures are going to make everyone even less aware of what being a vampire is actually like in modern wizarding society. They're not things to be ogled at, they're people, with real issues no reader will have any clue about.'
Bagsy nodded her agreement. 'Rant as much as you want to about this. This all sounds utterly evil and I'm so sorry it's happening to you and your parents.' Mezrielda, seeming out of juice, just shrugged, sinking in on herself. 'Listen, have some butterbeer, it'll make you feel better,' Bagsy tried.
'I'm okay, thank you,' Mezrielda grumbled, looking out the window glumly and resting her head in her hand, her usual scowl taking hold of her face.
'No, really,' Bagsy insisted, taking the mug she'd bought from Hoohsair out of her robe pocket and pouring half of her butter beer into it. She wasn't too keen on the stuff anyway. 'I think you should…' Bagsy lifted the mug up, having checked that the liquid had indeed disappeared once poured, 'have some!' She chucked the mug towards Mezrielda, as if to splash the liquid onto her friend.
Mezrielda let out a squeal of surprise and covered her face with her hands. When she didn't find herself soaked in butterbeer, she looked around in confusion.
Bagsy was twirling the mug around her finger by its handle, beaming cheekily at her friend. 'That put your mind off it,' she joked.
'Oh, you've asked for this,' Mezrielda challenged darkly, a smirk spreading across her face as she slowly produced the paint bomb from her own robe. Bagsy's face fell.
Maisy and Paloma were nearly bowled over as Bagsy crashed out of the three broomsticks like a deer on an ice rink, throwing the door open and stumbling onto the street. Sparing not a second, she was soon racing down the road, laughing in a crazed fashion the entire time.
'Why you little-!' Mezrielda cried, bursting out of the pub a few moments later and tearing after her, paint bomb still in hand. Bagsy wasn't sure if her friend was going to throw it at her or not, but either way, she wasn't sticking around the find out.
Maisy shook her head, smiling in amusement at the disappearing pair. 'Those two are strange.'
Paloma nodded her head in agreement. 'Yup.'
