A/N: Hey guys here's the next action packed chapter.
Chapter 4: Stinky.
Not long after Rhonda's wardrobe malfunction, residing in the only barn in Hillwood, Stinky fires up his computer.
"Hey Y'all, I'm Stinky Peterson. Today I'ma play me some Call of Duty and whoop sum' serious ass." Said Stinky in his Arkansas accent.
Although Stinky entered a match late on the losing side, he actually did very well and won. Stinky aimed down his sights, helped fellow teammates and made use of the strategic features for each map. He was able to get in the zone, track his enemies and with laser-like precision, kept getting kill after kill. The Arkansas gamer gave his team an edge and won what was considered a losing battle.
Stinky wasn't bound by pachinko machines, Candy Crush or interactive visual novels, all of which he declared as "Lower than shit" and excelled at FPSs. His skill would impress The Act Man, Civvie and even FPSRussia aka Kyle just to name a few. But as he played free-for-all, his true nature was revealed: while he wouldn't harm a fly in real life, he had one major drawback: swearing.
It's not that he had Tourette's or anything but each kill gave him a boost, to the point where his verbal attacks went from intimidation to just being flat-out trash talk.
And nowhere was this more apparent, than during his 3rd Free-for-All match.
Players would try to gang up on him, but he would outmaneuver and have them fight each other as he picked off the stragglers, all while berating them.
Stinky tosses a flashbang at a sniper from behind and knifes him in the back.
"Lazy ass, Dorito-munching, Mountain Dew chugging, shit-head Campers can clean my commode with their pickle ticklers." Said Stinky as he took a swig of his Yahoo Soda: Just Drink It.
Stinky quick scopes a noob.
"Only room for one quick scoper in this server you neck-bearded, shit-stained, used-tampon of a gamer."
Stinky then frags someone who tried to frag him.
"Suck my Arkansas dick you city slicker hoe!" Said Stinky.
Stinky notices someone manning a turret, pops a flashbang and shoots the player's head off all World at War style.
"Man that turret again and the next shot will be to your baby makers." Said Stinky.
The other Player was Coach Ritterman, Tish beside him.
"Are you gonna take that?!" Asked Tish on the other end.
"Uh nope no way Tish! (To Stinky) You don't scare me Peterson for I am Coach Ritterman! The toughest sonuva bitch ever! You will regret your actions! With this turret, I will break your ass and force you to run….(Coach tries to use turret again but Stinky makes good on his word) EEK MY BALLS! YOU SHOT MY CHARACTER IN THE BALLS!" Said a terrified Ritterman who despite not being shot in the balls in real life, still tried to cover them. Stinky also considered it payback for that episode Synchronized Swimming which Stinky dubbed as "BrokeBack Swimming."
"How's your wife and my kids fucktard?!" Asked Stinky.
"That kid Stinky is more of a man than you'll ever be Cuck Ritterman!" Said Tish.
"But Tish he shot my nuts! Please one more chance?" Begged Ritterman.
"GTFO!" Said Tish.
Ritterman admits defeat as Tish grabs him a bag and kicks him out, she then wonders if there's way she and Stinky could grab a Yahoo Soda.
Stinky then fires an RPG at another player.
"Go shove the Eiffel Tower up your ass you hip-swaying, sassy struttin', sissy boi!" Said Stinky.
Stinky had racked up a perfect score without dying and would use killstreak after killstreak to ward off more enemy players as the match ends, Stinky is in the Lobby reaping the benefits of his perfect score.
"Try to hunt me and y'all will end up in my fucking crosshairs. I will put y'all down like the rabid, STD infested dogs that y'all are. Now is y'alls last chance to rage quite before I come and like a fox in a henhouse, I will fuck y'all shit up!" Said Stinky.
"Challenge accepted! And Once I beat you, I'll win over the sexy Miss Lila from Arnold and fuck her brains out!" Taunted Wolfgang.
What followed was Stinky unleashing his Doom Slayer fps skills to rain virtual death upon Wolfgang and his friends. But he didn't stop there: Stinky went full Red Army on their asses. Players who tried to find cover were tracked down and filled with digital lead. Wolfgang's team had all but rage quitted when Stinky killed him again. Stinky positioned himself behind Wolfgang's spawn and using only a knife, proceeded to spawn-rape Wolfgang.
"AAHHHH STOP SPAWN RAPING ME PLEASE!" Begged Wolfgang.
"Y'ALL INSULTED THE LOVELY MISS LILA WHOM CHOSE ARNOLD OVER ME!" Said Stinking as he kept knifing Wolfgang who spawn within seconds of dying.
"I'M SORRY! MY KILL/DEATH RATIO IS PLUMMETING TO NEGATIVE NUMBERS AAAAAAH!" Screamed Wolfgang.
Backstab after backstab, Wolfgang sobbed as Stinky raped his K/D ratio.
"Almost…there….." Grunted Stinky.
"Please I beg of you, pull your knife out!" Said Wolfgang as the negative number started to show.
"Gonna….fill yer…..graves up….ah yeah….." Moaned Stinky.
"NO NOT MY K/D VIRGINITY!" Begged Wolfgang.
"HERE I COME Y'ALL!" Stinky let out a loud groan as he got Wolfgang's score in the triple negatives.
Wolfgang cold only roll on the ground in his room sobbing as Stinky finishes him off.
Impressed, Arnold donated Stinky some money, but asked him to please control his foul language.
"Thanks fer' da $5.00 donation Arnold! Should I watch what I say? Well I try to but der' be some moments when things just slip….(gets shot by Gerald, ending his perfect streak) N!GGER!" Said Stinky, making the same mistake PewDiePie made.
The chat goes silent.
"BITCH WHAT DA FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME YOU INBRED REDNECK SHIT?!" Asked Gerald.
"Oh fuck my Arkansas ass no homo SORRY I've just been watchin too many of them Quentin Tarantino flicks! What I meant to say was NIGGA as in how y'all address each other in rap music! Like when I walk to one of y'all people and say "Yo, what up my fellow Nigga American?" Said Stinky as he tried back-peddling but only dig himself a bigger grave.
Stinky got banned for saying the N-Word. He becomes a meme, hopefully the now single Tish will help him.
A/N: Expect chapter 5 soon.
