Eugene just stared back at me in shock while I smiled at him. I was somewhat disappointed with his reaction. I was so excited. I had missed him so much. He was alive. He was okay.
"Do you two know each other?" Harry walked up behind me.
I looked at him, excited to explain one of the best nights of my life, but before I could speak up, "No." Eugene responded nonchalantly as if he wasn't blatantly lying. I looked at him with shock and confusion. He couldn't have forgotten me? Not with the expression he held when he saw me or the way he reacted. Could he really have forgotten me? That night? Our birthday?
"Oh." Was all that fell out of my mouth. My excitement quickly fell and my face dropped and I looked down at the floor. "I guess not." I was sure he could tell how hurt and disappointed I was because for a second I swear he frowned but almost in an instant he went back to a neutral and almost annoyed facial expression.
"So, who's the girl?" Eugene questioned, embarrassment became an extreme feeling in my stomach, as he continued to pretend I'd never existed to him.
"Lilithana." Lawrence introduced me.
I sighed and looked back up at Eugene. "But my friends call me Lily," I spoke close to a whisper. It hurt too much to say it any louder. I looked back down at my feet and just continued to let the embarrassment consume me.
I guess I was right about going to find a group of people. I'd just become the recluse I always was again. Though this is because the person who once taught me to go out of my bubble has given me all the reason to just go back in.
"She'll be staying with us since where she stays is a bit further away and we don't want her to go back in the dark, especially after she saved me and Emily from someone trying to attack us," Lawrence added to my introduction.
"Someone?"
"Yes," Harry confirmed Eugene's question. "Someone. It wasn't a zombie."
I rubbed my arm, feeling awkward and not sure what to do with myself. "I just knocked him out. By the time everything settled it was already becoming too dark for my travel back home. I'll be out of your hair soon though." I sadly spoke. Does Eugene not like me? I thought we were friends, I thought maybe we meant something to each other. Is that why I never saw him again? Did he avoid me?
Did he really not like me that much? Was I that bad? Am I that bad?
"Cool," Eugene responded. "I'm going to go to bed now if this is all we were going to discuss. Later." He waved and then swiftly left the room. I wanted to cry. I had been searching for him for so long just to become someone he didn't even want to remember.
I released a heavy sigh and held back the tears that I so badly wanted to release. "Where do I sleep?" I quietly asked without daring to look at them while I spoke. I knew if I made any eye contact with anyone I would cry. Or if anyone asked me if I was okay that I would cry. But if Eugene wanted to act like we didn't know each other, should I just do that same? Pretend the best birthday of my life just didn't happen?
...
It was a pretty uneventful night. As soon as daylight hit, I got ready to leave. I heard someone knocking at my door and sighed at the idea that there would be someone at my door. I just wanted to be alone and just sneak away as fast as I could, but I guess I wasn't the only one who decided to get up and walk around early.
I walked over to the door and opened it. Deep down I was hoping it would be Eugene, but I guess my lucky hat was only bringing me disappointment.
"Hey," Harry greeted me with a smile. He then looked over at my bags. "Oh, are you leaving already?"
"Yeah," I responded, and attempted to force a smile. "I just thought it would be great to get out early so I could make sure to make it back to my place before dark again."
"Oh, okay, that makes sense."
"What are you doing here so early?" I tilted my head and questioned Harry, curious about his intentions for showing up at my door.
"Do you know Eugene?"
I was taken by surprise by his question, staring at him with confusion. "What?" He just repeated the question. "I guess not." I shrugged, holding back the pain I was feeling from saying that.
Harry frowned. "What happened?"
"Nothing," I sighed. "At least I thought nothing happened but I guess I was wrong or something." My voice slightly cracked, feeling tears welling up in my eyes. "I've met him once and it was the best day of my life. We haven't seen each other since. I was so happy to see him again but I guess he doesn't feel the same."
I noticed Harry frowning at me and then wiping away a stray tear from my cheek with his thumb. I hadn't even realized I had started crying at that point. I felt like saying something about it, though. I wasn't expecting anyone to say anything to me here, especially after being shrugged off by Eugene. Yet, he was still interested enough to ask. I guess it felt nice solely because I was able to let out a bit of my pain from Eugene's reaction to seeing me.
My expectations were high, but can I blame him? We're in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. It's probably better to forget me." I forced out a chuckle, shrugging my shoulders and pushing aside the emotions I felt inside of me. It wasn't worth it since I'd be leaving and I'd never had to see him again anyway. Plus, why cry in front of others when I can just cry all by myself when I make it back to my own little personal camp?
It's better to be a recluse.
"Well," I stood up straight, fixing my composure. "I best be heading out. Thank you for letting me stay the night." I went to nod my head, stopping myself midway realizing I still had one last thing to do. "Oh, and can you do me a favor?" I asked.
"Of course." Harry accepted.
I swiftly removed the cap from my head and handed it over to Harry. "Can you return this to Eugene?" That was all I said.
He looked at the hat than back at me. I just smiled, masking the pain this brought me. I hoped he couldn't tell that I was shaking and that I was holding the cap so tightly as I didn't want to let go but I knew I had to. Harry just looked me in the eyes with such an apologetic stare and a very sad frown. He didn't grab the cap. "I can't-"
"Please?"
He sighed and his shoulders slumped. He slowly moved his hand over to the cap and grabbed it, tugging a small bit as I still needed to loosen my grip. Once he had it, I nodded at him. "Thank you. Good luck. " I waved and walked right past him.
I was thankful he didn't follow me or walk me towards the exit as I almost immediately could no longer hold back the tears that I felt stirring up. My chest tightened and my breathing began to quicken but I held it all back as I knew it wasn't right to do. Besides, he didn't deserve my tears anyway.
2 Hours Later
...
Eugene's P.O.V.
I woke up with a yawn and stretched my arms. I was feeling awake and ready to go which usually was never how I would feel in a morning, especially in my current living conditions. Yet, I guess subconsciously there was something I was excited to see. Or should I say someone I was excited to see?
Lily.
I was nothing but angry with myself for being so excited about wanting to see her again. I had the best birthday of my life with her, and I have missed her dearly since that day. I didn't want to feel this excited though. Have you seen the world we live in now? There is no point in being close to someone or getting to know someone or anything as they are just going to leave anyway. Whether it's voluntarily or not.
When I sat and finally went to walk over to the door so I could find our washrooms and freshen myself up for the day, I was shocked when I heard a knock at my door first. My heart immediately began to beat a bit faster. I knew it wouldn't be her, but my energy just kept making me hope.
I opened the door right after the knocking ended, and instead of being faced with the short, cute brunette, I was met with a taller, white-haired man.
I huffed. "Harry, what do you-" I stopped mid-sentence when I noticed what he was holding in his hand. I pointed at it then looked at him angrily. "Where did you get that?"
"I was asked to return this to you." He stuck out his hand that held my old cap and waited for me to grab it.
I just looked at what he held in shock. "No, I'm not taking that. Give it back." I pushed his hand away from me, not touching the cap. "It's not mine anyway." I rolled my eyes.
Harry sighed and frowned. "You don't have to act that way anymore, Eugene. She already told me how you two knew each other."
"I don't know what you're talking about." I crossed my arms, turning my head and looking away from Harry, wanting to hide my embarrassment of hiding something that he seemed to figure out so quickly. "Just give it back to her."
"I can't."
"And why not?" I groaned. "Just put it back on her head."
"Eugene, she left already."
"She left?" I snapped my full attention back to Harry, in complete confusion and shock. "What do you mean she left already?" My voice raised slightly. I couldn't tell if I was hurt, angry, or confused. I don't know what I was feeling, but I know that I just didn't want her to be gone already.
Especially without my cap.
"Why did she leave?"
"I thought-"
"Oh, forget it," I groaned, snatching the cap from Harry's hands and slamming the door before he could answer. I knew what he was going to say, I knew exactly what words were going to escape his mouth, and I didn't want to hear a single one. Not because it was upsetting, but because I had no way to explain myself and I wasn't planning on doing so.
I didn't want to have to explain everything.
"You know what? I'm happy she left. " I threw my cap onto the ground, then kicked it off to the side. I crossed my arms and stared at it from across the room.
If she was still here, I'd most likely have to explain myself to her, and I didn't want to sound like more of an idiot than I already was. Why I never showed my face to her again. It was stupid of me to think that I could just avoid that karaoke arcade at all costs thinking that would help me to never having to see her again.
Even though I really wanted to see her again.
I angrily plopped down onto the floor, arms still crossed, as I crossed my legs as well, continuing to stare at the cap that I had just pushed to the side of the room. Yeah, I'm stupid. I was too scared of getting close to someone who shared my interests, who shared and understood my dreams, who gave me the best birthday of my life, all because I was afraid of losing them in the future. So, I decided, she can't break my heart and leave me if I break my heart first and leave her.
I'm so stupid.
"Damn it! " I stomped back up and made my way towards the cap I threw. I grabbed it forcefully and let my heart lead. My feet pounded as I left my room and went straight to find Harry.
I saw him in the hallway talking to Ethan, so I walked right up to him and interrupted whatever they might have been discussing, as my issue was more important. "Harry, we're leaving. We have to find Lily." I huffed.
"Eugene, she left 2 hours ago-"
"I don't see your point." I interrupted him before he could continue with any excuses. "Can we just go and tell Lawrence the plan? Maybe we can track her down or something. We know where you two met, she can't be too far from there. "
Harry objected for a short while, but I continued to argue. He only agreed when Ethan, beside him, offered to tag along. Then, when asking for permission from Lawrence, Lawrence decided he would come along as well.
So, we all prepared for our expedition. I wasn't expecting my "convincing" to go so well, but it did and I was fairly proud of myself. I accomplished something and I am going to return that stupid cap to Lily and she is going to love it.
