Bright rays of sunshine beamed through the den's window; birds were chirping and the comforting smell of freshly brewed coffee emanated from the kitchen. Hank had already left the house to pick up Bobby from the hospital. Fred stood in front of a mirror, tying his classic orange ascot. Shaggy and Scooby were eating their second breakfast in the dining room, a dozen omelets each. Daphne, Velma, and Luanne were in the living room drinking their coffee.

"Ohm…" Daphne chanted before taking a sip. Velma looked up, Daphne's eyes were closed.

"What are you doing?" Velma inquired.

"I think I'm becoming physic," Daphne replied. She chanted again. Luanne closed her eyes and did the same.

"I've said it once and I'll say it again: countless scientific studies have disproved the existence of physic powers," Velma declared. Daphne kept her eyes shut, ignoring Velma's needless skepticism. She and Luanne chanted again.

"What are you hoping will happen? You'll say 'ohm' enough times and start floating?" Velma further argued.

"I wanna float too," Luanne excitedly added.

"Look, earlier when Fred and I went deaf, I started hearing things differently," Daphne explained.

"It's not uncommon for a person who loses a sense to find their others have become heightened," Velma rebutted, "but that's not psychic powers, it's just good old-fashioned science."

"Like the Daredevil?" Luanne asked.

"Exactly, like the Daredevil," Velma confirmed. Daphne shut her eyes again.

Common Daphne, simply close your face eyes and open your mind's eye… she thought to herself. She inhaled a deep breath, took a moment to feel the oxygen spreading throughout her body, and then exhaled. "Ohm…"

Velma and Luanne watched as nothing happened. Daphne opened her eyes and shrugged.

"Maybe I just need a magic book," Daphne pondered, "the other day when we went to see the haunted houses, I was attacked by something. I was able to scare it away with some sort of magic blast. It said I got powers from a book."

"Oh… I know why you're confused, Daphne. That wasn't real, we were under Mr. Dauterive's genjutsu," Luanne replied.

"See? There's always a scientific explanation to these things Daphne," Velma said, pumping her fist. Shaggy, Scooby, and Fred sauntered in.

"Ready to go, gang?" Fred asked.

"Ready!" Shaggy and Scooby shouted in unison, each closing a briefcase jam-packed with cheese.

"What's with all the cheese?" Fred asked, raising an eyebrow. Shaggy and Scooby gave Fred a look of discontent.

"Rhat's none of your business, hmph," Scooby sharply replied, crossing his arms.

"Okay…" Fred replied, "so Velma and Daphne, you two are going to talk to the 7-11 cashier while Shaggy, Scooby, and I go see 'The Light.'"

"Ooh, ooh," Luanne said, raising her hand, " can I help solve the mystery? Maybe I could help."

"Like, are you a coward with an insatiable appetite?" Shaggy asked, reaching into his briefcase for some cheese.

"Um… no…"

"Do you know your way around a TI-84?" Velma said.

"I don't know what that is," she said, scratching her head.

"Do you have experience arming bear traps or shooting harpoons?" Fred inquired.

"When I was little, my daddy would show me how to catch rats with a bucket…"

"Mine too!" Fred said.

"Do you have any quirky skills that don't seem like they'd be useful in a mystery-solving setting but end up being essential at the last minute?" Daphne asked.

"I have these puppets," she replied, holding up four ragged hand puppets, "they're the Manger Babies." Daphne grimaced and quickly pulled out a Fred hand puppet.

"Unfortunately we already have someone who can do hand puppets," she said in a deep Fred voice, "anything else?"

"Oh. Well, I am pretty good at boxing," Luanne replied.

"Works for me!" Fred declared, "Alright gang, here's the plan: Luanne, you can join Velma and Daphne. We'll all go together in the Mystery Machine. First, we'll pick up Phineas and Ferb from Dale's house, then we'll drop you three off at the Seven-Eleven."

The group scurried their way out the door and into the Mystery Machine. As Luanne got in the backseat with Shaggy and Scooby, she looked about, bewildered by the 60's paradise. The teel shag carpet tickled her toes. A few funky lava lamps warped and morphed about unpredictably. Funky colorful patterns and fluffy pillows furnished the van, it was like a hyper-condensed Burning Man.

"Wow, it's so pretty in here! My uncle Hank would hate this place," she said, plopping onto a beanbag chair.

"Like, he really wouldn't like it if he saw what we kept under the bench, ha-hoo!"

"What?" Luanne asked, scratching her head.

Shaggy snickered, lifting the bench seat up. Inside, were various compartments with different mystery-solving gadgets. Luanne's eyes glazed over them in awe, curious as to what all the different devices did. Shaggy reached into one compartment and removed a bag of dank weed and a pipe.

"Is that reefer?" She said, inspecting the bag.

"Only the grooviest," Shaggy said, opening the bag and removing a nug, "like, you want some?"

"Only if y'all want some of mine," she announced, removing a joint from her pocket. Shaggy and Scooby looked at each other then back at Luanne

"Let's, like, spark up man," Shaggy said, loading the pipe. Velma rolled the window down so they wouldn't hotbox the van. The three took turns passing the joint and pipe around, exhaling plumes of smoke out the window. One final hit and they set the joint on an ashtray to burnout.

"You three finished back there?" Fred said.

"Like, we were born finished man," Shaggy uttered with a giggle. Luanne was staring dead at a wall, with a look of utter horror in her eyes.

"Why can Scooby talk but Lady-Bird can't?" She pondered aloud. Velma adjusted her glasses, preparing a scientific explanation, but Scooby cut her to the chase.

"Rat's because Radybird's a rog," Scooby said.

"Oh…"

Fred started the van. "Okay gang and Luanne, let's go get Phineas and Ferb."

They drove over to Dale's house where they found Dale, Phineas, and Ferb in the yard pulling some weeds around their tent. The gang got out of the van and sauntered over. As Dale noticed them in his peripherals, he jumped back into a battle-ready karate stance. Meeting eyes with them, he relaxed and stood up.

"Sorry, I had to be sure you weren't enemy clones," he said, lighting a cigarette. "Speaking of which, you aren't the pizza delivery guy…. What brings Mystery Incorporated back to my dwelling? Wait, let me guess: you need priceless quintessential information about the government that only I, Rusty Shackleford, possess so that you can solve the mystery of why the aliens tried framing Gandhi for 9/11. Something clearly doesn't add up. The advanced civilization of aliens that committed the terrorist act would've known that Gandhi believed in climate change, so he couldn't have hijacked a plane that would produce so many greenhouse gas emissions. They obviously wanted us to figure out they did it, but why?"

Daphne and Fred looked at each other in confusion. "Actually Mr. Gribble, we were hoping Phineas and Ferb could show us the light?" Daphne replied. Phineas came over, holding a sack full of unnatural-looking weeds.

"Having a bit of a weed problem?" Fred asked.

"Like, where's the problem there, man?" Shaggy quipped.

"You could say that. Overnight these dank weeds popped up all over Arlen. None of my normal sprays work on 'em," he said, handing one to Fred. Everyone inspected the vile plant. It was large and heavy, with thick, tentacle-like, green stems and hard, disk-shaped, orange flowers at the end. Its roots were the strangest part. They were rigid and coiled into the shape of an upside-down bowl. The whole thing throbbed in Fred's hands. His eyes gleamed with joy.

"Daphne, do you know what this is?"

"A vegetarian's Thanksgiving dinner?" Daphne quipped.

"Like, jackpot," Shaggy cried.

"No, silly, it's our first clue!" He shouted, holding the nasty mess of compost in the air. Daphne looked around. Sure enough, they were all over the place. Not just in Dale's yard, the strange weeds could be seen in every patch of grass or dirt in sight.

"These aren't like any plants I've seen. They certainly aren't native to Arlen," Velma noted, "we should analyze these in the Mystery Machine."

"Actually, we already analyzed them in our lab!" Phineas said, holding out a clipboard. Velma took the clipboard with skepticism, adjusted her glasses then reviewed the analysis.

"Rut's it say?" Scooby asked.

"Hmm… well this can't be right. These results couldn't have come from a plant," she stated. Phineas nodded in agreement.

"I know right? We analyzed several more of them with similar results," he said, "Ferb and I think we know what's going on."

"That's impossible, Velma always knows what's going on," said Fred.

"Relax, Fred, I do know what's going on. There's a perfectly rational explanation to all of this, and Phineas is going to tell us right now," she motioned to Phineas.

"Thank you, Velma. As you know, we've been 'translating' the light since we found it," Phineas began.

"It's really more like mapping," Ferb added.

"Exactly. When we began mapping the light, we assumed it was just normal light; however, we quickly realized that wasn't the case. This light expresses properties that seemingly defy all known physics."

"How so?" Velma inquired.

"Well, most waves have a frequency and wavelength that can be measured. These ones, according to our lab results, have an infinite frequency and wavelength," Phineas explained.

"What does this have to do with like, the plant thing?" Shaggy asked.

"Since the light is infinite in all measurable properties, it holds infinite information. The problem is pinpointing a piece of information and precisely expressing it," Phineas continued, "luckily, there's already an answer to looking at infinity using calculus."

"Limit?" Velma said.

"Limit. We employ a limit to map infinity in tiny pieces, allowing us to slowly decode the information it holds. Eventually, we get whole pictures."

"Ingenius, but aren't you two a little young to be employing calculus in theoretical metaphysics?" Velma asked Phineas.

"Yes, yes we are," he replied.

"So when we came into contact with the light, our brains must've been trying to process an infinite amount of information at once, hence why none of us could put what we experienced into words," Velma said.

"Bingo," Phineas said.

"Could someone explain this in plain English, please?" Fred begged.

"But, like, I didn't even pass English," Shaggy quipped.

"It'll make more sense once you guys experience the light," Phineas said, "basically we mapped it into a four-dimensional image and then processed it using a simulation of time."

"But that means…" Velma took off her glasses and wiped them with her orange turtle-neck sweater.

"It means we developed a perfect one-to-one simulation of the universe that could be used to see and learn anything about our past, present, or future," Phineas completed her thought.

"That's… impossible… it's… marvelous… I have to see it," Velma plead.

"No. Unfortunately, there were unforeseen consequences to the device," Phineas continued, "anyone who sees it, kills themselves."

"Then how are you two-"

"We never saw it. Our friend, Buford, was the first victim. He… we heard him from the other room. The things he described sounded so wondrous… he saw the first man, the first fire, Christ himself crucified. But whatever he saw last caused him to…" Phineas got all choked up and Ferb put his hand on his shoulder.'

"It's okay, you don't have to say it," Velma reassured him.

"Over and over; he kept slamming his head into a wall. If only we were faster. We heard the thumping and came in. We were too late. He looked up at me with those eyes. I'd never seen anything like it. In them, I could see an immense terror that said 'get me out.'" Phineas couldn't continue speaking clearly, tears were running down his and Ferbs' face.

"Like, was he okay?" Shaggy asked. Phineas rubbed the tears into his striped shirt and continued.

"We were able to keep him alive for a few hours with our advanced medical technology, but he wasn't our Buford anymore," as Phineas spoke, it was clear he was reliving every dreadful moment in his head with vivid detail, "he couldn't talk or move. Buford the Vegetable was how Baljeet enduringly referred to him. Pretty soon it was clear he had suffered permanent brain damage."

"What happened to him?" Fred asked, biting his nails. Shaggy and Scooby were both quivering.

"I took care of him…" Dale said, pulling out a double-barrel shotgun drenched in blood.

"Right, Mr. Gribble was kind enough to drive him to the hospital," Phineas said.

"Pretty sure I saw a horde of zombies on the way. Took one of the suckers out, the rest got away," Dale said, wiping the shaft of his gun with a rag.

"Anyways, he's been under urgent care there ever since. We're waiting on the phone call to see when his surgery will be," Phineas finished. The gang looked at each other awkwardly.

"We are so sorry about your friend little guys," Daphne said, patting Phineas on the head, "you two must just be feeling awful." Daphne gave Phineas and Ferb a hug in hopes it would mend their hearts, but she knew the only thing that could truly heal their emotional wounds was the knowledge that their dear friend Buford was safe and sound. Phineas and Ferb were both full-on crying now, waterworks that would leave the Grand Coulee Dam shaking in its boots. After a minute or so, Daphne let them go.

"I feel much better," Ferb said, inhaling a strand of snot dripping from his nostril. Suddenly, "Robot Riot" by Love Handle began playing. It was Phineas's phone, which he quickly answered.

"Hello?" He said. A voice rang from the other side.

"Yes, this is Phineas Flynn," Phineas continued listening. Scooby began whimpering.

"Like, what's wrong Scooby-Doo?" Shaggy whispered.

"R'I can hear the phone…" Scooby replied, putting his paws over his ears.

Phineas hung up and turned to Ferb. Ferb looked back at him blankly. He already knew. The two both shut their eyes and lowered their heads. The rest of the gang did so as well. The moment of silence struck deep into each of their souls. Scooby-Doo finally let out a long howl.

"Looks like that pizza we ordered was canceled," Phineas said. Shaggy and Dale both let out an even longer howl.

"Wait I thought-" Fred began, but Velma stopped him.

"It's gonna get a lot more confusing from here, I recommend you save your energy," she advised. The group began walking to the Mystery Machine.

Dale's voice arose from behind them, "what about the weeds?"

"Right. Ferb?" Phineas motioned to Ferb, who tossed a green bottle of pesticide to Dale.

"We developed a pesticide that should get rid of them. The recipes' on the back so you can make more."

Dale dropped to his knees in a praying position, "you two are truly gonna do it all. Thank you for everything."

The gang loaded in the van, Phineas and Ferb sat upfront while Velma got in the back with Shaggy, Scooby, and Luanne.

"Wow, I love the whole 60's vibe," Phineas complimented.

"Smells dank in here," Ferb said, sniffing the air.

"Only the grooviest," Shaggy and Luanne said at the same time.