Ella shares a compartment with Yeoreum, Torian, Marius, and Damien on their way to King's Cross Station for the Christmas holidays. Damien brought out his exploding snap cards for the journey, and while she believes it to be a potential fire hazard, he, Yeoreum, and Marius have no problems taking up most of the compartment in their competitiveness. Torian doesn't pay attention to them, nose buried in a book while Ella watches the blurry green hills roll by.

The trolley lady rolls up to them around lunchtime and the cards are put away in favour of eating some chocolate frogs and those disgusting beans Ella refuses to try. Conversation flows naturally between bites and she finally turns away from the window.

"Mum and I are going to France for the new year," Marius says, biting the head off a chocolate frog. "Dad's commentating some games and he arranged for us to stay."

"Lucky!" Yeoreum whines. "I wanna go watch a Quidditch game. I guess I'll have to settle for seekers games with my sister."

"What about your brother?"

"He sucks at Quidditch." She turns to Ella with a smile. "What about you, Ella?"

Ella has tried her best not to think about Christmas this year. It's their first major holiday as a family of four instead of five, and she knows it will be just the four of them. Her parents didn't tell her themselves, but from what Dennis could gather from their letters, their father's suggestions of inviting extended family over had been shot down completely by their mother. She thinks that's for the best. She doesn't want to face her aunts, uncles, or cousins. They only know that there was a 'tragic accident' with fabricated details that she can't bear to listen to.

"It's just a quiet Christmas for us," she says.

"I wish that were me," Torian says. "I have extended family from both sides coming to the manor for the holidays. I love them, but there's no peace and quiet at all."

"I'll take that over how awkward it's going to be at home," Damien says. "It'll be better for me since I'm the family favourite right now, but Lucien's going to be the odd one out and everything."

Ella rolls her eyes when Damien can't see her. Three guesses as to why poor Lucien is the victim.

It's several more hours before they arrive at the station, and Ella's legs are completely numb by then. She stretches before grabbing her trunk and hauling it out of the compartment. She says her goodbyes to Torian and Marius, excluding Damien in favour of judging him when he saunters over to his brother with exasperation on his face. She's glad to have a reprieve of whatever family issues they're having, even if it's at the cost of facing her own.

"Oh, there's dad!"

Yeoreum waves to someone in the crowd. Ella watches as a tall man waves back, two children on either side of him. Yeoreum's siblings, she assumes.

"I better go, but I'll write to you over the holidays, okay?" And before she can reply, Yeoreum shoots off into the crowd and towards her family.

Ella supposes she should find her own.

It takes her three minutes to locate Dennis. He's speaking to Evangeline, gaze leaving her face every few seconds to look around, and Ella decides to put him out of his misery by power-walking towards him. When he spots her, his face lights up and he says something to Evangeline, who also looks at her. Her smile is more subdued.

"I better go find Gabriel," Evangeline says to Dennis as Ella approaches. "I'll write. Have a good holiday, Ella!"

Ella waves briefly before Evangeline is swallowed by the crowd in search of her brother, one of the Hufflepuffs in Ella's year. She thinks she saw him with a group of other first years earlier, but she can't be sure. Evangeline will find him on her own.

"Let's search for mum and dad," Dennis says. When she looks at him, she sees the hesitance behind his eyes, the awkward shuffle of his feet.

He's looking forward to this Christmas just as much as she is. Which is to say, not at all.

Their mother is usually the easiest to find. She may be shorter than their father, but her strawberry blonde waves are always easy to notice in the crowd, even with the white streaks beginning to show through as the years pass by. They don't see her, though. Ella is about to ask Dennis if perhaps they're waiting in the car when she spies a flannel shirt that is just as nostalgic to her as the person wearing it.

"Dad!" Dennis says, running forward first to give him a hug.

Ella isn't far behind, all but pushing Dennis out of the way for her own turn. "There you are! Where's mum?"

Curtis Creevey is a kind and good-natured man, the type of person who expresses himself freely, and while that is a good quality in so many ways, it only makes the strain of his smile easier to notice. "Your mother is waiting at home. How about we get to the car and you can catch me up on everything you didn't put in your letters."

He turns and walks down the platform towards the stairs. Ella shares a look with Dennis, the concern evident on his face just as she's sure it is on hers. Another thing about their father is that he is resilient in ways that their mother, Margaret Creevey, is not. Ella can't blame her for it, though. Not right now. She may be frustrated, but her mother is coping in the only way she knows how.

Dennis slips into the passenger seat before she can, and with a playful glare in his direction, she climbs into the back where the pet carriers are. She wastes no time in opening Jinxie's carrier (she hates putting her in there, even if it was only for the ten minutes between leaving the Hogwarts Express and entering the car) and letting her climb onto her lap. Her tail swishes slowly and claws sink into Ella's jeans as she makes herself comfortable on her legs, eyes closing with an inaudible purr.

"So, how's studying for — what was it? O.W.L.s? How's that going?" Curtis asks Dennis, who groans.

"Can we not talk about schoolwork for five minutes? The break's just started!"

"Alright, alright, I'm just taking an interest in your education."

"My education's boring. Ask Ella."

At the sound of her name, Ella looks up at the rearview mirror with a raised brow. "I'm learning the same thing as you, just at a lower level."

"Yeah, but you're learning it from Harry Potter."

Ella lets out an exasperated sigh. Just when she thinks he's over that small fact, he isn't. Her father blinks and says, "The Harry Potter? The one you and Colin always talked about?"

Her brother's name being spoken aloud has her biting down on her lip to prevent an unwanted reaction. She focuses on petting Jinxie to calm herself down, not missing the way Dennis' worried eyes catch her own in the mirror. He opens his mouth to speak, but she beats him to it.

"Yeah, that Harry Potter," she says. "Since we don't have an official new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher yet, Headmistress McGonagall is helping teach it, but since she has other duties to attend to, Potter's helping teach the younger years. It's extra credit towards his N.E.W.T. levels, apparently."

"Well, he would be the best person to learn from, wouldn't he? Defeating the uh, what did you call him again?"

"Voldemort," Dennis says, no fear in his tone.

"Yes, him."

The topic shifts to their other classes, what else they've been doing at school, the friends they've made. Everything they talk about is about Hogwarts, which makes sense. They won't have the opportunity to bring it up again once they're home. Not unless they want to upset their mother.

Their quaint two-storey home is slightly different than when she left. The front lawn is freshly mowed and more effort has been put into the garden than in the summer. What was left overgrown back in August has now been cut down and trimmed into a neater appearance. Their mailbox also has a dent in it now, though she can't begin to imagine why.

Margaret opens the front door as they're pulling their trunks from the boot. She opens her arms wide as Ella approaches and she drops her trunk in order to give her a hug. It lasts for several seconds, up until the arms around her become too tight and she has to let go to breathe. Even then, her mother runs a hand through her hair.

"My baby, welcome home."

Her mother moves forward to give Dennis the same treatment and Ella takes the opportunity to walk inside. The first thing she notices is the Christmas tree. It shouldn't be that strange, a Christmas tree in a family home in the middle of December, but it is. Every year, the family waits until everyone is home before setting the tree up as a family activity. Now it stands there, taunting her, silver tinsel and rainbow fairy lights an eyesore.

The soft sound of Jinxie's footsteps follows her up the stairs and down the hall to her room. She blatantly ignores the door diagonal to hers, refusing to acknowledge the nameplate that still hasn't been taken down. She doubts anyone has stepped in there in half a year.

Her own room is just how she left it, if not more barren, most of her important belongings in her trunk. She sets it at the foot of her bed as Jinxie jumps onto her bed and settles herself down on her pillow. If she closes her eyes and listens to the sound of low conversation downstairs, the chirping of birds outside her window, the cars rushing down the main street, she can imagine that nothing has changed.

"Home sweet home," she mutters to Jinxie, who meows in return.


The holidays are quiet. Too quiet.

Last year had been a slightly subdued affair, but they had all been together, laughing and smiling and watching sappy Christmas movies until midnight. Now the family barely spends any time in the same room save for dinner time. Or rather, Margaret keeps them all apart during the day, giving them jobs and chores to do, sometimes even sending them out of the house on an errand. Her motives are a mystery to Ella, but whatever the reason, it's starting to get on her nerves.

Almost a week passes without much happening. The days are slow and quiet and Ella almost wishes she was back at Hogwarts. Almost. She refuses to miss the castle, the Gryffindor common room with its warm fire and quiet chatter on a Sunday evening. The owls flying in and out of the Hogwarts grounds. The scent of dew on the morning grass that shouldn't smell any different to dewy grass elsewhere in the country, yet it does.

Okay, maybe she misses it a little.

She's staring out of the living room window, listening to the news program her father is watching and staring at the snow raining down on the ground, when there is a yelp from the kitchen. Both she and her father jump up and race to the kitchen. It can't be Dennis, who is currently helping the elderly woman next door with some cooking, so that only leaves her mother.

Margaret has dropped her tea towel and is now staring at the kitchen window with a hand over her chest. Tapping on the window with its beak is a brown owl specked with white and a letter attached to its foot. It isn't the first time an owl has flown to the house, not even the first time this year, but it's the first time her mother has reacted like that. She doesn't think too hard about that, especially when she recognizes the owl in question.

"Mum, it's fine, it's just Raymond," she says, shoving the window upwards to let the owl inside.

"Raymond?" Her mother doesn't take her eyes off of Raymond as she unties the letter from him.

"Yeah, Yeoreum's owl."

"Who is Yeoreum?"

Ella stills. She forgot she hasn't told her mother about Yeoreum, or anyone she's met at Hogwarts for that matter. She hasn't spoken about Hogwarts in front of her at all.

"My friend," she says, quickly leaving the room before her mother can understand her unsaid words.

She retreats to the comfort of her bedroom, clutching the letter tightly in her hand. When Yeoreum said she would write, Ella hadn't taken her all too seriously, assuming she would be busy with her family. Something warm blooms in her chest and she extinguishes it through the sheer power of will. Perhaps she considers Yeoreum a friend now, but that doesn't mean she should become reliant on her and her letters. It wouldn't be fair for either of them.

She unfolds the letter and begins to read.

Hi, Ella!

How has Christmas break been for you so far? Things have been so chaotic around here. My sister hasn't left me alone since I got back, she keeps hounding me! It's honestly a miracle I found the time to write this. Even my brother, who's usually really quiet and reserved and stuff, has been asking me all these questions about school. I hope your house isn't as crazy.

My dad says 'hi' by the way! He even said you can come over and visit during one of our breaks sometime! Probably in the summer, since I don't know what your family does for Easter, though I guess your brother would be studying really hard for his O.W.L.s at that point. He can come too if he wants. Dad's been through his O.W.L.s, he might be able to help.

Oh, Merlin. My sister just found me. I've been writing this from the master bedroom's wardrobe. And now she's trying to grab the paper! (There are a few ink stains here and Yeoreum's handwriting is less legible for a few words before it continues normally).She's saying "Tell her I said 'hi'! That Narae says 'hi'!" So there you go. Narae says 'hi'. Kijung hasn't asked, but I'll say 'hi' from him, too. Just to be safe.

Don't forget to write back!

From, Yeoreum

Despite herself, Ella laughs. Yeoreum writes the way she speaks and she can imagine her voice in every word on the page. It's almost as though she's back in her dorm room instead of her childhood bedroom. She doesn't know why there is such a stark difference between the two and how they feel, how they've become such different spaces in her mind despite being used for the same thing.

She tucks that thought away and grabs a pen and paper from her stationery drawer.

Hi, Yeoreum,

My holiday has been okay. Pretty quiet. Mum is keeping us busy by going to the store to get things. Dennis is next door helping our old lady neighbour cook as I write this. Next time you send Raymond, though, make sure he comes straight to my room. Mum had a fright when she saw him at the kitchen window. I also forgot to give him treats, now that I think about it. I'll give him double next time he comes around.

As for your sister, her sticking to you like glue is just a side-effect of coming home from a magic boarding school after several months. Trust me, I would know. It's typical little sister behaviour.

She stops. She wrote everything without truly thinking it through, and while it's all true, it dredges up memories that she would prefer stayed tucked far, far down in the abyss of her thoughts. She isn't the five year old girl who all but jumped on her older brother when he returned home from his first year of Hogwarts (discovering later from him that he hadn't been able to return from school earlier in the year due to being petrified by a basilisk, of all things), demanding to know everything, whether there were unicorns or fairies, if he could make rainbows spout from his wand.

Shaking her head, she presses on.

I'll try my best to visit. It'll depend on my family's schedule since we sometimes travel during the summer. If we do travel, I'll write and send pictures, I promise.

Hope you have a good Christmas.

From, Ella

Scanning her letter, she nods once and tucks it into an envelope. She'll ask Dennis if she can borrow his owl when he returns.


Christmas is even quieter than the days leading up to it. In the years previous, Ella would usually wake up early in all her excitement and jump on everyone else's beds until they agreed to get up and open presents with her. None of that enthusiasm is present within her when she opens her eyes on December 25th. All she feels is dread as she covers herself with her duvet and slinks out of the room.

Presents are exchanged, mostly between Ella, Dennis, and their father. Their mother stares at various corners of the room, never at what is happening in front of her unless someone explicitly says her name. Her smile whenever she receives a gift is forced and Ella doubts hers is much different. She's grateful for all the presents, of course she is, but she can't find it in herself to be happy when there is an empty space in the living room and her heart.

It isn't until after dinner, when Margaret is preparing for bed and Dennis is upstairs replying to a letter from Evangeline, that her father enters her room with a kind smile. She pretends not to see the bags beneath his eyes. It's easier when his eyes are the same as she's always remembered them.

"Don't tell your mother, but I have an extra present for you," he says in a low voice, and it's only then that she notices that he's holding his hands behind his back.

She tilts her head. "What is it?"

Rather than answering her, he pulls whatever he was hiding around so he can show it to her properly. Her heart stutters and she immediately wishes he didn't. She never thought she would see it again in her life.

And by 'it', she means Colin's camera.

She doesn't want it. It isn't hers, it's never been hers, it already has an owner. This isn't her property. She couldn't possibly take it because it isn't hers.

She reaches for it anyway, hands shaking all the while.

"What — why?" she asks, swallowing when her voice breaks on the last syllable.

Her father's kind smile is tinged with sadness. "He wouldn't want to let it go to waste, especially not when he had it magically charmed to work in Hogwarts and all."

"But — but why me?" she asks, eyes on the lens. "Why not Dennis?"

"I didn't leave Dennis with nothing," he says. "I gave him the hundreds upon hundreds of photographs Colin took throughout the years. He gets the old memories. You," he taps the camera, "get to make the new ones."

She takes a deep breath. It doesn't help. There are so many things she wants to say, but they're all jumbled in her mind, and all she can do is nod and say a single word.

"Okay."


Everyone falls into a monotonous routine after that. They wake up, they eat, they go through the motions, they go to sleep. The only interruptions to this are when Ella receives a letter from Yeoreum and on New Year's Eve when they watch the countdown, and even then her mother retires early for the evening. She would vent about it, but the only one also not going through the same situation is Yeoreum, and she hasn't even told her about Colin yet, let alone how her family is coping.

Or how they aren't coping.

It all comes to a head the day before they're set to return to Hogwarts. Ella hates that she's missing the burial ground masquerading as a castle, but she is. Not that she would ever admit as much, especially not in front of her mother, who is, naturally, the one who starts it all.

"Curtis," she says, almost tumbling down the stairs in her panic. "Curtis, where is the camera?"

Ella's eyes widen, remembering her father telling her not to say anything to her mother about her extra gift. She's starting to see why. She shrinks into the couch beside Dennis, who puts a hand on her shoulder. She wonders if he knows where the camera is.

"Which camera?" her father asks, but he must be feigning ignorance. He has to know what she's talking about.

"The camera," Margaret says, face reddening. "You know exactly what I mean. Where is it?"

Curtis sighs. "I don't know, Margaret. It'll turn up."

This must not be an acceptable answer, as Ella has to scoot closer to Dennis when their mother charges towards them. She's a woman with a purpose, but she slows down once she's in front of them, crouching down so she's closer to their level. It doesn't make Ella feel any calmer.

"You two, I need you to be honest with me," Margaret says, and wow, Ella does not appreciate the condescending tone she's taken. Neither does Dennis from the way he tenses up beside her. "Did either of you take the camera?"

"No," Dennis says immediately, voice softer than usual.

"I didn't," Ella says, convincing herself that it isn't a lie. She was given the camera. She didn't take it.

Then her father says, "What's the problem if they did take it? A camera is made to be used, and if one of the kids wants to use it, then who are we to stop them?"

Ella holds her breath as her mother stands slowly, face now a startling shade of crimson. "The problem, Curtis? You know exactly what the problem is! That camera is — the camera is…"

"The camera is what, Margaret?"

"You know what that camera is!"

"You can't keep avoiding talking about it!"

"About what?"

"About Colin."

Ella draws her knees up to her chest and buries her face in them. She feels Dennis' arm across her back, pulling her closer as the argument continues.

"Don't say — don't — there's nothing to talk about."

"Nothing to talk about?" Curtis all but spits the words out. "There is plenty to talk about."

"Even if there was, we wouldn't be doing it in front of the kids. This is a safe place for them. We aren't going to change that."

Safe space? Ella doesn't remember the last time the house was a safe place. The last seven to eight months have been filled with tension so thick she could cut it with her wand, and before that, before that fateful day in May, Colin and Dennis had used protection and anti-detection charms around their house every single day for almost an entire year to keep them all safe. This is no longer the home she grew up in. It hasn't been for a long time.

Margaret continues. "They should stay here."

"No, not this again —"

"— Yes, this again! They need to be somewhere we can see them, they need to be safe, Curtis!"

"By taking them from their education?"

"They can go to one of the local schools."

"We've been through this, they need to go to Hogwarts because it's the only school where they learn about themselves and how to control their powers. It's the place for them."

"And will they die at the end of their education, too?"

Ella's heard enough. She pushes her legs down and gets to her feet, making a beeline for the stairs. Her parents don't even notice her leave despite her stomping feet making the stairs creak. It's a wonder she doesn't slam the door, but any noise she prevented by doing so is negated when she buries her face in her pillow and screams into it.

Tomorrow can't come fast enough.


hello everyone! it's been a few weeks, but i passed all my course units so hopefully i'll have more time to write now that i'm not stressing out about all that.