A/N: I opted to borrow some original dialogue from the show in this chapter because that scene was just too perfect to tamper with. You'll know which one I'm talking about when you read it. Although I did tweak it to some effect to match my story. I hope y'all enjoy it and feel free to let me know how you're liking things so far, reviews are love! That said, thanks to the awesome Shazza19 and Blondie20000, you guys are keepin' me goin'!
It was no surprise, but Dean hadn't made it very far.
He remembered now, why he and Sam had kept away from the bayou and it had nothing to do with the shortage of supernatural happenings. New Orleans was built from blood and bones, after all.
No.
It was because of her.
Dean had been afraid of his feelings before and because he was no stranger to a one-night-stand it took him a little bit more time to realise when he actually, genuinely liked a chick. This didn't happen very often, though. Despite the ridiculous tally, there had only been a handful of women in his past that he had grown truly fond of and most of them were dead now.
Dean collapsed against the wall of the shed and grimaced. He probably shouldn't have taken off in a wave of fury when what he really needed was rest, but he couldn't help it. He had just made a fool of himself in front of Sam, in front of that kid, and all Tandy did was laugh at him.
"Dean."
Dean balked at the sound of her voice and glanced up, into Tandy's round, blue eyes, and his resolve quickly crumbled.
"Oh, what now? You looking to go another round? Is this some kind of sick game to you or do you just get off on hurting me?" He barked.
"Me hurtin' you?" Tandy gasped. "I - " She sucked in a deep, even breath and stole a moment to collect herself. She closed her eyes, exhaled slowly and then re-opened them. "Look, forget it. I came to find you to tell you that m'sorry." She explained, more gently. "I don't know how to ... Why I ... What I mean to say is, I'm not experienced with this sorta thing."
"Oh, please, a girl like you?" Dean scoffed. "Next you're going to tell me you've never had a boyfriend."
Tandy ran her hand down the length of her arm, her Converse-clad feet toeing the dirt. "Livin' on the outskirts of town with a voodoo queen for a mama and an absent papa didn't 'xactly make me first pick in dodgeball growin' up, if you catch my drift." She confessed.
"I find that hard to believe." He snapped.
"Well, obviously things in that department changed after I turned sixteen and grew a pair'a tits, but my experience with actual feelin's didn't. Jeez. Does everythin' have to be about looks to you?"
"Tandy, you could gain eighty pounds and pull every single one of your teeth out and I'd still be into you." Dean divulged, his face straight and humorless.
Tandy swallowed. "It's easy for you to say that now, but what I wanna know is why?" She probed.
"Why?" Dean repeated.
"Why you're into me."
"I don't know." Dean toyed with his thumbs, his naked back still pressed against the shed. "Because you're ..."
"Available?" Tandy offered.
"What? No!"
"Then why?"
Dean cocked his head. "You ... I guess ... you make me feel ... I don't know, understood." He mumbled.
"Really? 'Cause I feel like I'd understand you a helluva lot better if you weren't keepin' things from me." She said.
"Like what?" Dean countered. "I told you that I liked you."
"That ain't what I mean."
"Oh. I get it. You're talking about Hell." Dean breathed. "Christ, did Sammy put you up to this?"
"No." Tandy responded firmly. "Sam knows you ain't talkin', so he ain't askin', but I know that what you're doin', bottlin' it all up inside, it's not healthy, Dean."
"Tandy, I don't want to talk about it." Dean murmured, cautious, but Tandy didn't want to drop it, not this time.
"What are you so afraid of? What happened to you?" She asked.
Dean glared at her. "I said I don't want to talk about it."
"Why won't you open up to me? Shit, I thought we were friends? 'Least, I hoped we were." She uttered, her voice tapering off into a shallow whisper.
"Tandy, of course we are, but that's the problem. Y'see, I want to be - "
"- I know." Tandy cut in, holding up a finger. "One step at a time, Dean."
"Is talking about Hell going to earn me brownie points?" He attempted, winking at her.
"Dean." She breathed, his voice a warning on her lips.
"Fine." Dean sighed, relenting. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours."
"You wanna know why I'm, um, why'm scared to let myself feel somethin' for you?" She stared down at the ground, unwilling to meet his gaze.
"Yes."
Tandy licked her bottom lip and ran her fingers through her long, blonde hair. "It's because ... well, it's because you died." She declared.
If Dean was hoping for a kinder answer, that wasn't it. He sucked in a deep breath, feeling as though she'd just kicked him where it hurts, and it hurt everywhere.
"Wow. All aboard the Sympathy train." He muttered.
"Shut up!" Tandy snapped, exasperated. "It's not what you think! It's not outta pity!" She pulled at the ends of her hair and slumped forward, making herself appear even smaller. "When you died I - my whole world, it - went dim. It was like a world without you in it seemed darker somehow, scarier. And then I find out that you're alive, and it wasn't even from your mouth. I don't know. I just didn't wanna feel that way about you, or anyone else, not ever again, so I swore to myself that I wouldn't."
Dean wanted to touch the side of Tandy's face, to stroke her hair, to kiss her lips, her cheeks, her eyelids. God, he would have given anything to wipe that broken smile off of her face. She looked like a wounded angel. Well, at least, how he had imagined angels to look; not those trench coat clad, iron-faced douchebags.
"Life is made up of loves and losses, Tandy. How do you think Sam and I get through each day?" He murmured.
Tandy shrugged. "Whiskey and porn?"
Dean chuckled and it turned into a rasping cough. "Damn it." He choked.
"You're still badly hurt." Tandy observed.
"I'm fine."
"You need to lie down." She instructed.
"I'm fine." Dean stressed.
"And I'm a purple people eater." Tandy jibed, sardonic. "C'mon, let me help you."
"Don't touch me." Dean told her.
"Stop bein' so damn stubborn." Tandy admonished.
"I'm not stubborn, you're stubborn."
Tandy rolled her eyes. "Jesus, are you always like this?"
"No. I don't usually have to work this hard to ... look, nevermind, just gimme your hand then." Dean pouted, reaching forward and tried not to yelp in the process.
Tandy smirked and took Dean's hand. Carefully, she draped his arm over her shoulder, mindful of his broken bones, and wrapped her arm around his waist.
"See, that ain't so bad." She said, grunting slightly.
"You smell like apple pie." Dean commented, breathing deeply. "It's delicious."
Tandy snorted.
"You're such a tease." He mumbled.
"I am not, you drama queen."
"You are too."
"Well, I don't mean to be." Tandy confessed.
"Things would be a lot easier if you just admitted that you were into me as much as I'm into you." Dean advised.
Tandy chuckled drily. "No way, bucko, that's not how this works. I gave you somethin', now you gotta give me somethin' in return."
Dean rolled his eyes. "You really want to hear about what keeps me up at night, huh, sweetheart?"
Tandy nodded, eager.
"Okay, but just remember, you asked for it."
Tandy tightened her grip on Dean's waist, using her legs for support, and lowered him onto the back step. She took a seat beside him, determined to find out the truth.
"Well, y'know, it wasn't four months that I was gone. At least, not to me." Dean began, his gaze cast across the marshy fields.
Tandy furrowed her brows, confused, and he continued.
"It was four months up here, but down there ... I don't know. Time's different. It was more like fourty years."
"W-what?" Tandy stammered.
"They, uh ... They sliced and carved and tore at me in ways that you ... Until there was nothing left. And then, suddenly ... I would be whole again ... like magic ... just so they could start in all over. And there was this demon there, big bad son of a bitch ... Alastair ... and at the end of every day ... every one ... he would come over. And he would make me an offer. To take me off the rack if I put souls on, if I started the torturing. And every day, I told him to stick it where the sun shines. For thirty years, I told him. But then I couldn't do it anymore, Tandy." Dean's voice broke, his eyes welling up with tears. "I couldn't. And I got off that rack. God help me, I got right off it, and I started ripping them apart. I lost count of how many souls." Dean paused, a single tear rolling down his cheek. "The - the things that I did to them."
Tandy was shocked; speechless and utterly heart broken.
When she finally found her voice, it was quiet, gravelly. "Dean, I'm so - thirty years."
She swallowed the feeling of despair that rose up in her throat, like bile, and unknowingly placed her hand on his knee. "That's a heck of a lot longer than, than anyone would have lasted." She breathed softly, sincerely.
Dean sniffed, his green eyes brimming with unshed tears. "How I feel ... This ... inside me ... I wish I couldn't feel anything, Tandy. I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing."
There was a jarring silence that followed his confession and Tandy felt as though every second stretched on for an eternity. Minutes could have passed by, or hours, she wasn't certain, but when she was finally able to speak again, the sun was high amongst the clouds and she could feel her skin beginning to blister.
"And I've been, I've been such a bitch to you." She stammered.
Dean chuckled. His eyes were dry and his cheeks were pink. "Well, you don't make it easy, sweetheart. How I feel about you though, it's probably the one pure, wholesome feeling that I have left, and I'm clinging to it."
"Look, maybe I just need some time, y'know." Tandy explained, feeling as though she owed it to him. "I swore I was done with this, I swore."
"Hey, don't worry. I'm not giving up on you, if that's what you're worried about, not for a second. If there's even the slightest chance, I'm taking it." Dean responded reassuringly, and it broke her heart to know that despite the things that he had been through, he was the one trying to comfort her.
Tandy removed her hand from his knee, only just having noticed that it was still there and stuffed it into her lap.
"You really do need to lie down, Dean, take it easy for a few days." She informed him. "Let me and my mama take the reigns for a while. I promise you, we'll take good care'a Sam, and of you."
"That sounds ... actually, that sounds like just what we need. Just don't take care of Sam too well, he might get the wrong idea." Dean smiled.
"Oh, hush. One Winchester boy chasin' my affections is more'n I can handle. Besides, I could never date a guy with prettier hair'n me any way." Tandy joked.
Dean laughed then gripped his ribs. Instant regret.
"Oops, sorry." Tandy mumbled. "Guess I'm goin' to have to take it easy on the old jokes."
"For now, at least." Dean agreed.
Tandy nodded, helping Dean to his feet and together, they stumbled up the back steps and past the pond, unaware that it was now completely bone-dry and covered in a hundred amphibious corpses.
