I apologize for the long break again, and I hope you are all staying safe during these times. - L
The night's breeze had captivated Natsu's senses, drawing his eyes away from the redheaded knight standing before him. Stars hid from him behind the heavy light of the full moon. A shame, he thought, exhaling deeply. His name was whispered in that darkness behind him but he hardly had the nerve to look her in the eyes. All that he believed in had shattered, and with nowhere to turn, he wanted to resolve himself to this loneliness that had once scared him. Maybe, if even a small chance, the pain that he had would numb under this new resolution.
"Uhh," he groaned, "I'm glad to see you're alright."
"Yeah," she replied meekly. Her tone sharpened, "I know you must be upset… I won't resist if you want to-" Erza bowed low, her voice cut by the lump in her throat.
He shook his head, peering over his shoulder, "No, actually…"
Erza's eyes widened. She couldn't recall the number of times she had tried to recreate Natsu's smile in her mind, or the frustration caused by her useless attempts. Soft as it was, his distinct smile imparted a bit of shame for the absurdity of her memory.
"I wanted to thank you, Erza."
She was stunned. She would never have predicted the first time he voiced her name would be in a sentence of gratitude, "For what?"
"You're an amazing leader," he stated, running a hand through his hair, "I don't know how you do it. Always staying strong. Ready to make the next call… Nothing really gets under your skin, huh?" A half-hearted chuckle escaped him. "You're really something."
She couldn't help but feel there was an underlying meaning behind his words that she wasn't grasping.
"Thank you for being so great to me up till now," he said as he resigned himself back to the window's view. "I couldn't have asked for a better leader."
"What are you trying to say?" She said lowly. "You're speaking in riddles."
He took a moment, sighing again before returning with an expression that had begun growing all too familiar. The apathy that Ifrit had so commonly donned now rested on Natsu's face.
Disgust clearly displayed through her eyes but there wasn't a moment of hesitation in his reply, "I'm leaving Fairy Tail."
"Is this a joke?"
He made no effort to reply.
"You're seriously just giving up now? After you disappeared without a word, you want to up and quit without the slightest bit of concern for those that waited for you to return?"
A dark look passed through his eyes. "You wouldn't understand, Erza" he growled. Waited for his return. What a joke. The words stung him as his jaw tightened as to not let loose his anger with toxic words.
"So you're just gonna run away?" Knuckles cracked as her fists tightened and trembled to stay at her sides. "What about your friends? Your family? Do we not matter? You'll just… give up on us?"
He understood now that she wasn't speaking about herself but on behalf of Fairy Tail. There was no comfort in her words but perhaps there were a few in this guild that had actually hoped for his return. His eyes caught sight of her weight shift and exhaled deeply before clenching his teeth.
With a single punch, she struck Natsu into the ground. "Coward!" she cried, "You dare to call yourself Natsu?"
He was in no way surprised. There was a lot of weight and anger behind her strike but this was the expected outcome. This is exactly what a leader's reaction should be when the guild is paying attention. He shrugged off the thought as he struggled back to face her, pausing only to spit blood out the window.
"The real Natsu doesn't know when to surrender, and he certainly wouldn't leave us behind!" She struck the wall beside her, "Fight me! Show me who you REALLY are!"
He shook his head before she struck him several more times, sinking him into the side of his bed. In the same moment, Erza mounted him, a fist loaded overhead.
"Fight. Me." she snarled, inches from his face.
Again, that soft smile appeared on his face as his gaze pierced through her, "You know I can't." He raised a hand to her, examining it closely before retiring it with weakness in his voice, "I- I've already burnt out..." His body, empty as it was, still felt a strange singe where his inferno used to occupy. The loss of his magic had left a new pain that he could not have prepared for.
Erza's hands lowered to his chest, "I'm sorry." Now calmed, her eyes sunk to the face she had just maltreated. "That was wrong of me, Natsu."
"I love Fairy Tail," Natsu whispered, "and I love everyone there… but it's a guild, Erza. A guild for wizards… and I'm not a wizard anymore…"
"I'm sorry," Erza mumbled as she stepped away. "I shouldn't have done that," she bowed before clasping the door's handle.
His head lowered as she left him, turning into the hallway and retreating to her room. That breeze flowed through the room again, drawing another sigh from the had-been mage.
"Oh?" Loneila perked up from her lounging state, seeing the distressed redhead enter the room. "Here I thought you wouldn't be coming back tonight…"
Erza ignored the comment, sinking beside the blonde onto the bed. "Idiot!"
"Natsu?"
"No!" Erza barked. Her hands gripped the sheets like a vice, "Me! I'm an idiot! I promised myself I wouldn't, but I can't stop hurting him."
"Then I'll repeat it again," she lectured with a finger, "he's 'the strongest man I've ever met.' You underestimate him."
"I underestimate him?" she scoffed, more so to herself. Her encounter certainly was nowhere near correct in terms of her predictions. In her book, things had gone much worse and would probably have benefitted her if he had lashed out in anger. As things were now, Erza was still at a loss.
"He's gained a lot from rejoining with Ifrit, too," Loneila stated plainly. "Those two were so alike, it was ridiculous. I can't tell you how often I had to re-feed that boy for overdoing it! Oh! And all those nights with Gin-"
"Wait, what do you mean, re-feed?"
"Ah," Loneila smiled, "that's why I'm still here! Well, until tomorrow… Re-feeding is my way of saying 'replenishing magic.' It's a unique skill of mine, along with 'Reaping', which is the opposite."
"So you're here to 're-feed' Natsu… Even though he can't use magic anymore?"
"The average human naturally consumes and replenishes its reserves at their own pace. It's kinda like how people need water. It's rare, but some can't build enough to use it. Though in Natsu's case, the seal also prevents him from building any magic up on his own."
"Wait," Erza tensed up, "then Natsu will burn through whatever is left and die without you?"
Loneila stuck her tongue out, "Not on your watch, eh?"
The redhead's curious tension lingered between the two.
Loneila sighed in dismay, "Erzaaa, did you not feel it earlier?" she pointed at her forearm with its markings coiled around like a serpent. "Through the seal's contract, you became his 'Retainer.'"
"How does that work?"
"Well, you're responsible for him once I go and you can re-feed him with that arm."
"So I just give him some of my magic and he'll be fine for a day?"
"Hehe, well I'm not exactly sure on that," Loneila chuckled meekly, "it could be anywhere from 1-3 days, maybe more… but I've had to do it everyday." The blonde crashed back onto the bed. "Ahhh, I've felt so weak lately," she whined.
"Everyday," Erza puzzled. "Is that because of his critical state?"
"Hmm, I'm not sure I should say, so let's keep this between us for now," Loneila grinned with a pinky extended. The two made their promise and the blonde scooted closer to Erza. "Natsu has gone through some major construction internally."
"Eh? Like operations?"
"Nope, more like…" Loneila's voice dropped to a whisper, "his body was installing brand new magic conductors. I just had to keep up with as much magic as he was spending." Erza's expression clearly asked for more information. "Sorry, Erza, that's all I can say about that for now… a pity he can't use them though."
"Aye," she agreed, "What kind of power he might have had…" A wave of guilt washed over the redhead. If Natsu had that kind of edge over her before, she would never hear the end of it, but he would have been overjoyed. Unfortunately, it was something he would never experience now.
The blonde watched over her meticulously, nodding her head as Erza lowered through several increments of guilt in her subconscious.
"Don't you go around calling him weak!" Loneila pouted. "He's got what it takes to drop a guild leader! Probably better, if you ask me."
Loneila's compassion brought a small smile to Erza's face, nodding in agreement.
"If you ever get the chance," Loneila smirked, "you should try a hand-to-hand sparring match with him. You might just be surprised."
Erza thought back to earlier in his room, "I kinda did."
"You- what?"
"I tried to fight him earlier. I thought it would help remind him of who he is, and where he belongs," Erza crossed her legs and leaned against the wall. "I just ended up beating him around…"
Loneila giggled, "It'll take much more than a few hits to hurt him, you know? He and Ifrit have this obsession with training like their heading to war. He always trained like he would fight the whole world alone. I can't count how many times I'd have to hunt down Ifrit just to find him passed out somewhere in the woods or in his workshop."
Erza could picture Natsu doing the same thing. Overworking himself, then taking a nap wherever he saw fit. A content smile appeared on her lips.
"Natsu will probably retain most of the skills that Ifrit learned. It's possible that areas in his brain have strengthened as well," Loneila turned to look fondly at Erza. "So you better take good care of him. He's our treasure now."
"No one will lay a finger on him," Erza reassured.
"I'm glad to hear it," Loneila shot her a 'good job,' "So how'd your talk end earlier? I thought you'd be happier."
"In short, he doesn't find himself qualified to be in Fairy Tail since he's not a wizard anymore."
"Then there's a simple solution!"
"Oh?" Erza's fixed herself to show Loneila her full attention.
"He can stay with me then."
A large exhale exited Erza's body, retiring back.
"Erzaaaa, I was just kidding!" Loneila whined, taking hold of her arm. "Erzaaaa!" She peeked around to the redhead's face. "Ah geez, if you were gonna be so serious about it…"
"Of course I'm taking this seriously," Erza scolded, "It's Natsu."
Loneila paused shortly as she examined the Scarlet Knight before exhaling sharply, "If only he saw that blush of yours…"
"My what?"
"Okay, Erza!" Loneila grinned, "I'll tell you something secret, but it comes with a bit of a catch. Deal?"
Erza questioned the weight of this possible 'catch' and the sinister grin on the blonde's face. "This secret… it's about Natsu, I'm guessing?"
"So you agree," she announced, gliding over to shut the door firmly. "Well! This turned out better than anyone could've hoped. I couldn't believe my ears when Natsu spoke to me!" She glided back to her place beside Erza. "Though you're right - Natsu isn't a wizard right now because wizards are able to expend magic reserves to manifest miracles," Loneila's energy swelled, shaking the redhead beside her. "But he is still, by far, a miracle."
Erza's eyes welled with anticipation.
"Years ago," Loneila began again with her excitement steadying out, "my father was a researcher and developer of breeding-" An awkward laugh interrupted her, "Sorry, Erza. Actually, I'm not sure if this part is supposed to stay a secret…"
She shook her head with a plea, "Please, tell me what you can." There was far too much that she didn't know and Natsu seemed to be drifting away from her steadily. Very soon, she felt that she would lose him entirely… again.
Loneila pursed her lips with a finger to them. "Well, let's say that there were others like him."
"Others with the seal?" That wasn't too much of a surprise to Erza. She could understand seizing the ability to use magic from those with malicious intentions.
"You see," Loneila cautiously, "the seal is there to stop something from… controlling him..." Erza shot her an annoyed glare, knocking some confidence out of her voice. "Mooost of the subjects became mindless zombies then, shortly after... died."
"Most of them," Erza repeated lowly. "What happened to the others?"
"Uh… yeah… The subjects that didn't die were labeled as 'the sealed.' These 'sealed' had developed completely different personalities and forgotten their previous selves. Within a matter of hours they developed strange tendencies to… well, to eat their retainers. So, they were terminated after running some tests."
"Wait, what?!" Erza roared, "Why would they eat their retainers?"
"Dunno," she bowed apologetically with clasped hands, "I was too young at that time to ask for accurate information and I haven't had any luck locating my father's lab."
"How did I even become a retainer?!"
"Whoever finishes the seal becomes a part of it," Loneila answered.
Astonished, Erza's voice softened as the despair of their situation sunk in, "Were there any successes?"
"Nope," The blonde smiled brightly, "Natsu is the first to make it out with his personality intact. Even with just the sheer weight of psychological damage… It's as if he's inhuman!"
"You never said anything about psychological damage!"
"Don't worry!" Loneila patted the shoulder of the fuming knight, "I watched over him every step of the way! Mental magic is right up my alley! Truthfully, I didn't need to intervene. He didn't give in an inch! Natsu's a real stubborn one."
"That he is…" Erza admitted scornfully.
"He doesn't really know when to 'give up.'" Loneila said, a suspecting look in her eyes. "Not the 'real' Natsu, anyways…"
"Were you listening?" she hissed.
"Hard not to once you started yelling so loud," she teased, "that, and I was just making sure he didn't eat you…"
"Don't say that," Erza demanded, "He wouldn't."
"You never know…" Loneila's sly grin prodded her with a wink, "Maybe if he saw that blush of yours."
"What are you referring to?"
"Nothing, nothing," she giggled as Erza's face flooded red. "Like I said, there is a catch." She regained full attention of her audience with three fingers held up; "I need you to fill me in on his behavior patterns when I get back. Keep a journal of it, if possible."
"You want me to record how Natsu behaves?"
"That's a bad idea, huh? It'll probably turn into some kind of diary… Just make sure he doesn't do anything extraordinary."
"Fine," Erza muttered, trying to ignore her comment.
"Second, you'll have to re-feed him when necessary."
"Of course. How do I do that?" Erza asked, drawing her arm out between the two.
Loneila's sinister smile returned, "Just put your hand on his chest and think about him. Naturally, you'll figure it out."
Of course, Erza visualized the situation and could feel the heat in her cheeks return. "Mm, okay."
"Right there! Go see him now!" Loneila badgered with a soft push.
"Stop," she commanded in her naturally brash tone. "I can't see him now."
"Fine," Loneila sighed, muttering another tease under her breath, "You should see him tomorrow then."
Erza contemplated in silence, then nodded in defeat.
"Last thing," Loneila said, placing a hand on Erza's, "I have a theory that I wanted to test… It won't take much, I promise."
"What is it?"
"A biiiit of blood," she answered. "The sealed would eat their retainers, which essentially were their caretakers, but I believe they had an even more important role…" Loneila held her marked forearm in her hands, "Limiters."
"You think I'm Natsu's 'limiter?'"
"Yup," Loneila smile softened, "I have no clue how it will turn out though so do it somewhere with just the two of you."
Erza pulled her arm free, "What if something bad happens to him?"
"There you go," the blonde shook her head, "doubting him once again."
"That's not what I meant-"
"He'll be fine, if not better!"
"But he could-"
"Erzaaaa!"
"I'm just saying-"
"Have some faith in him! Please!" Loneila pled with clasped hands.
"Alright!" She surrendered, "I'll do it…"
Loneila nearly jumped for joy, prancing her way off the bed, "Thank you! Now, you should think of how to get alone with Natsu." That smug look appeared again, "and try not to give into your temptations."
Erza roughly caught the word, "T-temptations?"
The blonde spun around to the door, "Oh, did I forget to say? The retainers had tendencies as well… Cravings, more like."
"Loneila! What are you not telling me?"
"I figured it wouldn't be so bad, since I'm sure you've probably already wanted to do it anyways," Loneila snickered, "stay strong, Erza!" With that, the blonde skipped out of the room, shutting the door on the flustered scarlet knight.
Morning came later than planned for Erza. She had struggled to fall asleep, constantly tossing and turning while thinking of the pink haired mystery in the other room. Assuming he wasn't mad at her, what was that emotion she saw in his eyes? His gaze must have burned a hole in her memory. Those golden orbs had pierced so brightly in the dark, but felt so hollow.
As soon as she felt like she had finally fallen asleep, two knocks came at her door. A moment later, a shirtless Gray peeked around as she sat up from her bed.
"Sorry, Erza. Still sleeping?"
"Hardly," she replied, glancing around the now bright room. The intensity of the sun foreboded that it was not early in the day. "What time is it?"
"Getting towards noon. We're with Natsu now, you should come," Gray's smile reinforced his invitation that she accepted. She took a moment to requip from her hospital gown into her casual white blouse/skirt attire before exiting into the hallway and starting their walk.
"I didn't know it was so late," Erza commented, straightening her blouse. She followed Gray shortly before realizing they weren't heading towards Natsu's room, "Where are we going?"
"The flamebrain just checked out and we didn't want to leave you behind."
The two travelled through the large hospital, checked out downstairs, and made their way to the street where two of their friends stood.
Lucy smiled at the two as they approached but Erza's attention was captured elsewhere. The tips of Natsu's pink hair were a deep red, as if dipped in blood, and the short sleeve black hoodie and dark trousers that Ifrit had worn previously now rested on his body. His golden eyes seemed to be studying every person in view on the street.
"How're you feeling, Erza?" Lucy asked.
"Much better," she replied, "Thank you for asking."
"Let's all go back to the guild for lunch."
"Aye." Erza stepped around to Natsu, who had been staring into the bustling traffic. "Are you alright?"
He avoided her eyes, spinning to the guild's direction with a sigh and nod. "Let's go," he said plainly, taking lead as Lucy shortly caught up to talk with him.
Erza couldn't resist feeling a bit upset but followed alongside Gray.
"Something's not right," Gray whispered, "he's different."
"He's just been through a lot," she replied.
"Ah, whatever. At least he's back, right?" Gray said nonchalantly, meaning to throw his hands in his pockets but realized he was back in his underwear. Erza held his pants out to him before leaving him behind to dress himself.
As they made their way to Fairy Tail, Erza found herself staring at Natsu in hopes for his attention that ended in disappointment as they reached the gates.
"Happy," Natsu named as the blue cat descended with a big grin.
"Aye, Natsu! Ready?" he asked, fluttering before him.
"You guys go ahead," Natsu said to the group, "I'll be back."
Without another moment, he was swept away. Gray simply shrugged and followed Lucy into the guild with Erza striding shortly behind.
Several hours passed as the three enjoyed each other's company speaking of how things would soon go back to normal and the exciting adventures that were bound to go their way. Erza held fast as to not slip and break her promise with Loneila, staying silent, as she knew Natsu would not be joining in these 'exciting adventures' anytime soon. Suddenly, the realization of a fourth member that had joined the party struck them.
"Happy!" Lucy exclaimed.
The blue cat leapt from his seat on the table, "Wha?! What's wrong?"
"When did you get here?" Gray questioned, peering around Lucy.
"I've been here the whole time!"
"Don't lie to me, fur ball!"
"Happy," Erza interjected as her eyes scanned for the pink-head, "Where is he?"
People swarmed around the guild filled with laughs and conversation but Natsu was nowhere to be seen in the busy hall.
"Talking with Master," he answered with a smile.
"I'll be back," she murmured before beginning her search. The anger swelled inside her as she thought of what he might be saying. If he were telling Master Makarov about his leaving of Fairy Tail there would be hell to pay! She wasn't done with him for spouting that nonsense at her.
Two knocks came from the door. Makarov chuckled slightly, "Come on up, Erza."
The Scarlet Knight exited onto the roof where Makarov and Natsu stood against the railing.
"We were just speaking of you," the Master stated, welcoming her to the group.
"Me?"
Natsu turned around to her, and yet, he refused to make eye contact. He passed her without a word and left in the same fashion.
"What's his problem?" she growled lowly.
"He's become harder to read," Makarov agreed, "I can't quite tell his outlook on the situation, but we were able to create a plan so I don't believe he has given up hope just yet…"
Erza apologized for her attitude before asking, "A plan for what?"
"First, I must ask," the Master's stern eyes met hers, "do you still care for him?"
"I do."
The elder's eyebrow rose at the lack of hesitation, "Would you be his shield? Protecting him from opposition?"
"I would."
"Even if the enemy's reason is righteous?"
"Aye, master. Even if he is labeled a monster again, this time, I will remain by his side."
"My dear," the old man shook his head, "You've yet to hear of what will come. There is a long journey ahead for that boy." His tone hardened, "You would dare to protect that demon? Many will come to claim his defeat for reasons you know nothing about, yet you will resist them? History has branded this a monstrosity and demanded an end long before you could even walk! It is unwise to forfeit your accomplishments to travel beside your demise!"
"Regardless," the knight knelt, "If he is in need, I will be there. He is lost, Master, and I will remain with him until he returns home."
Makarov groaned as he irritably stomped his foot, "You will be labeled as well, Erza: a 'fool' for protecting that man! Should either of your stubborn determinations falter, you ought to abandon him or claim his defeat for your own."
"I could never-"
"Of course not!" Makarov thundered, "That is not who you are! Should we become the devil himself, so be it! Fairy Tail would shroud the world as the greatest demons to ever plague this land in order to defend our own- but that is not what he wants..." The Master held out a paper that she could identify as a quest-recruitment flyer. "This mission requires a long trip north, so you should head south."
"I don't understand, Master."
"This will be a distraction for your pursuers. You are going to run, Erza."
"Run? This was his plan?" Erza protested, "He's nothing but a coward now."
The old man scratched his mustache, shaking his head at her, "Originally, his plan excluded you as well."
Erza growled, "Master, does he hold a grudge against me?"
"Not just you," Makarov sighed, "His trust in us has been shattered. Yet, he cares about Fairy Tail and refuses to involve any of us."
Her hands balled into fists, "As if we'd stand by and let him do that."
"His resolve- I'm afraid he may be accustomed to this… He could disappear on us again, Erza. Be cautious of his location if you are determined to follow him, or you may never find him again."
"Aye," Erza grunted, "I will watch over him." She rose to her feet as the Master turned to look at the view.
"The others have yet to see him, right?"
"Fairy Tail? Only Lucy, Gray, and Happy have, to the best of my knowledge."
"A shame," sighed the Master, "he will not cross through those doors again for some time. He has already removed his brand as well…"
Erza joined the Master at the railing with downcast eyes, "I wonder if he still thinks they hate him."
Makarov smiled softly, "I doubt that matters to him anymore. That boy has matured greatly in his disappearance. His outlook was not as optimistic, but unwavering all the same."
"What was it, Master?" Erza questioned, "What changed him?"
The Master's smile disappeared. His eyebrows furrowed as he exhaled deeply, "I cannot say for sure, my child. I was able to peer into some of his memories with Loneila's help, but they were mostly distorted…" Makarov's gaze shifted to the streets, "I'm certain he was mistreated… but not to what extent."
Erza's eyes followed his. Down below, a figure exited the building with a blue cat close behind. "He was tortured?"
He nodded.
"I had heard he was imprisoned at Province…" her volume lowered, crossing her arms on the railing as she watched the figure enter the busy streets below. "Was Loneila aware of this?"
He shook his head.
"Who is responsible?"
"I am not certain," the Master replied, "he said it is not our concern."
Erza bit her lip, restraining herself the best she could. "Would Loneila know?"
"Vengeance will come when he decides so, Erza," Makarov stated, "as for now, he is focused elsewhere."
"But Master, someone has harmed him! Natsu's not- He's not himself!"
"Foolish Erza…" His tone startled her, "When the council hears of his existence, they will come for him and stop at no cost to destroy him. He is aware of how we would resist so he refused to involve any of us."
"He's still trying to protect Fairy Tail…"
"The young man just wants to secure our safety above his own. So he will venture out to avoid capture until Loneila's trial is over."
"Then what? Can she help Natsu?"
"I do not know these answers, but I am certain of one thing: Loneila insisted you travel alongside him." The Master drew out a black fabric with Province's symbol sown into it, "This was Ifrit's… She asked that you two visit a friend of hers before leaving. They will be waiting for you there."
Erza received the patch with a short bow.
"Be safe, Erza. You two better return home in one piece or I'll hunt you down myself," Makarov smiled for the last time before sending her off.
As she shut the door behind her, she wondered when the next time they could laugh and fight each other in the guild would be. It had never crossed her mind that even she wouldn't return for some unknown time. The loud ambiance and bright faces seemed friendlier than she would have pictured it before. Even the tinge of alcohol in the air seemed refreshing. The clatter of drinks, creaking of chairs, and overlapping voices… this was her home. She took one long glance around at these people, her family, before exiting the guild.
"When we return," She promised, grasping the black patch, "I'll bring him home for sure."
