Author's note: hey guys! thanks for staying with me! this chapter does include suicidal thoughts, as usual they are italics and bolded.

Chapter seven: Anakin's per.

'You don't deserve the order. You don't deserve to relieve your pain. You don't deserve Obi Wan. You don't deserve to be free. You don't deserve to live. You are a worthless selfish brat. You let her die. You LET her suffer. You're horrible. You're the worst. You should hate yourself forever. You're a wretched BRAT. You should kill youself, that way you can let Obi Wan and the whole ORDER down. I mean, you'd probably make their lives easier. Without you, Ahsoka wouldn't have died. Without you, the clone wars wouldn't have started. Without you, Douko would be dead. Grievous would be dead. You. you DESERVE to die. You DESERVE this pain. You DESERVE every horrible thing that ever happened.'

It wasn't even him anymore. A separate voice. And every time Anakin came close to recovering, It'd make him re-live everything that happened. It had been months, and nothing had improved. Anakin would start feeling better. Start to smile, then it'd remind him. It'd tell Anakin he was horrible. That he deserved to die.

Obi Wan's per.

Obi Wan struggled to accept why Anakin wasn't alright. He had gotten better. Much better. Then he would suddenly become just like he was at the beginning… quiet, and always on the verge of tears or crying.

Obi Wan heard his thoughts sometimes… and they were dark. Always. Blackened with rage at himself. Nothing they tried could bring him back. As far as everyone was concerned, he was dead to the world. Of course, the order was worried, but having quit and left the Jedi, there was nothing they could do… No longer bound, and afraid the Jedi would realize Anakin had much stronger emotions that was normal for a jedi, his emotions ran wild. Obi Wan had realized anakin had strong attachments, but never knew just how strong… Anakin also no longer blocked Obi Wan from his pain. Obi Wan Heard every negative thought as it ran, hollering and screaming, pounding on his stomach, making Anakin feel sick… Just last night, Obi Wan had sat, listening to it keep Anakin awake…

'You are horrible. You let her die. She wouldn't have died were it not for you.'

'Stop… get out of my head… please…'

'No, you deserve to die. You deserve pain. You CAUSED her death!'

Anakin had moaned in his sleep, tried to ignore the voice inside his head, tormenting him.

'Go away… let me sleep…'

'She took all the pain. She is the reason you wretched creature is still alive! You should be locked in jail! Never to see sunlight again!'

'I… I… no… I… I should be locked in jail… never to see sunlight again…'

'Good. Now sleep. Sleep knowing you caused her death and you deserve to DIE!!!'

"Anakin…" Whimpered Obi Wan, greving what his friend listened to every day.

……

That following morning, Obi Wan decided to pay Anakin a visit. Fix him for good.

Anakin looked up as Obi Wan entered and immediately looked away.

"Anakin?"

Anakin scooted over, so Obi Wan could sit down next to him. Sitting down, Obi Wan continued.

"Anakin, You realize I can hear your thoughts."

"Sorry, Master. Did I keep you up?"

"That's not the problem. And you know it isn't."

Anakin still wasn't looking Obi Wan in the face, and it worried him.

"Anakin, you're holding something back. Blocking something."

Anakin shook his head. "It's… nothing."