Jo had been working up a sweat in her gym when she'd received a call from an unknown number. Normally she'd either ignore them or threaten to beat them to hell if they didn't explain who they were, but this time, she felt something different. It was as if a cosmic flip in the universe allowed her to raise that phone up high to her ear. She wasn't as surprised to hear the sleazy voice on the other end and she maybe should have been.

"So long as there are less scarabs, sign me up, McClean." Jo smirked, hanging up the phone. She went back to relentlessly attacking her punching bag. After all, she had work to do if she was going back onto Total Drama.

Dawn opened her eyes one day and knew that the fabrics of fate had shifted. She stood up and kept walking, until she arrived at the Toronto Pearson airfield. She unrolled her sleeping bag and stared up at the stars as the birds fluttered and danced in the wind around her. The screeching airplanes that would more than occasionally sound overhead made her long with the ability to escape destiny. But alas, she'd been called back for Total Drama.

She was at their destination three weeks ahead of her informative phone call, but it never hurt to be prepared.

Especially when dealing with your destiny.

Chris McClean's famous smile is the first thing to grace the camera as triumphant music sounds at the episode's beginning. "Welcome back to Total Drama: World Twour! Pretty clever name, right? Today's gonna be packed to the brim with drama, and you'll see our first veteran contestant get the boot outta the plane! Who will become the next Ezekiel? Which team will triumph in today's challenge of a trip down memory lane? Find out right here, on…

TOTAL!

DRAMA!

WOOOOOORLD TWO~~OUR!" Chris sings, less than angelically, as a familiar song begins to play…

Begin Intro.

As the electric guitar flares to life, cameras are seen popping out of the airplane seats, overhead compartment bins, and even the tops of the jet turbines, shoving a family of raccoons out with it.

Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine,

You guys are on my mind

You asked me what I wanted to be

And now I think the answer is plain to see,

I wanna be famous…

The camera barrels through the gates of the airfield, with Chris and Chef Hatchet dodging it narrowly. The camera is left revealing the sparkling jumbo jet for all to behold. Suddenly, an explosion at the back of it reveals a cackling Izzy, proud of her property damage, covered in soot. As she laughs, a screaming Noah flies into the air from the force of the explosion, sailing into the arms of Jo, who drops him in disgust.

I wanna live close to the sun,

Go pack your bags, 'cause I've already won,

Everything to prove, nothing in my way

I'll get there one day.

Cause, I wanna be famous!

LeShawna and Alejandro are brawling atop a raft above Niagara Falls, until they both begin to panic at the approaching edge. As they fall over the cliff, LeShawna is rescued by Harold performing his mad skills across a vine. Or at least, he tries to, smacking into the rocks. Jasmine comes by on a separate vine and saves them both effortlessly. Alejandro falls, smacking into the ground, agitating the snake who the nearby Dawn was attempting to befriend. They both flee from the snake in terror. As they run, Eva walks by the snake and chomps her teeth at it, making the snake shed its skin in terror.

The camera pans to Lindsay, who is seen working on her tan on a sunny beach as Tyler and Lightning engage in a sandcastle duel. Suddenly, Lindsay pulls down her sunglasses to blow a kiss to Tyler, but this accidentally makes her reflector bounce light directly into his eyes, causing him to trip and ruin the sandcastle. Scott is seen spectating this, laughing at their misfortune. Sierra and Cody are nearby, with the former smothering the latter in an engrossing hug beneath the beach towel. He looks annoyed.

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na!

Brick is seen, terrified, wrestling a bear atop the plane as it flies way too close to several beloved monuments, including Stonehenge, Giza, and the Burj Khalifa. Gwen and Courtney argue and flap their arms about, also terrified of their current situation. In the background, Scarlett is seen stepping out of the shadows, tripping Bridgette and Geoff off the side of the plane as they back up together, the camera following them as they hold each other in terror.

I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!

I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!

The camera follows all of the contestants as they fall through the air, one after another, each striking a pose congruent with their personality. Finally, they all pull their parachutes and land in a perfect circle around a delicious smelling campfire somewhere in a forest similar to Wawanakwa. DJ is seen cooking them all a meal in the center.

As the cast begins to whistle, Trent and Duncan are zoomed in on by the camera, towards the center of the circle, giving one another the evil eye. Topher suddenly slides between them both and pulls them close for a picture he flashes on his camera, making the former duo visibly uncomfortable. The camera pans outwards to reveal the plane soaring overheard, with the words "Total Drama: World Twour" etched on the side. The camera cuts to black alongside the final guitar riff.

End Intro.

"So, I've been curious as to where you guys ended up after the flush in All Stars, because I sure as hell didn't expect to end up in Egypt. How the shit did Chris make a sewer system that flings you across the world?" Jo sat in the disgusting economy class, with Alejandro and Lightning occupying the other two seats. She'd figured strategizing with her two strongest teammates was her best bet, even if Brightning left a lot to be desired in terms of intelligence (and potentially thought she was a guy), and Alejandro was about as trustworthy as a back alley drug dealer.

The so called 'eel' considered her question for a moment before widening his eyes in surprise at her admission. "¿a poco?…You ended up in Egypt?" He shook his head. "Surely you must be mistaken. Both Heather and myself were transported to the Yukon icefields."

A nearby Scott poked his head into their aisle. "Not that I was eavesdropping on you guys, but me and Gwen ended up over Niagara Falls. We literally resurfaced and plummeted over the falls four seconds later. We only survived 'cause the RCAF was running helicopter evac drills that day." He promptly slid off to do whatever it was slimy, conniving twenty years olds do. Jo decided to just let his interjection be.

"The Lightning ended up in Germany. That big old tower with all the fancy bread smells, you know?" Lightning smirked, as if he'd just proved he was intelligent. "Yeah, until one of those swam boats hit me." He was most certainly not intelligent.

"Good to know Brightning is still your primary nickname. I like calling the other one Jockstrap much better." Jo snorted to herself.

"So, I assume this is an alliance, and we are here to discuss strategy, yes? You, myself, and Lightning are the best of our team, after all." Alejandro smiled devilishly at Jo. Yeah, right. As if Jo would trust anything a dude that came out of a robot suit walking on his hands would say.

"One, as if I'd ever trust you in an alliance. This is just a seminar to make sure our entire team doesn't lose. Two, if we lose, I WILL hunt both of you down and wring your necks. Three, What's ALWAYS the strategy, moron?" She rolled her eyes, hands on her hips.

"The Lightning resents the fact that you think you could possibly wring his neck, but assumes that the strategy is leaving everything up to him." Lightning smirked as Jo and Alejandro rolled their eyes, one with subtlety and the other blatantly.

"Our strategy is to destroy the competition through brute force. We tire 'em out and sabotage their best players with any sort of allowed physical contact. And then we apply further strategy if their meager defenses hold out for more than five seconds. Which I doubt they will." Jo eyes both of her teammates. "Any questions?"

"None from me. This is not a bad strategy, all things considered, Jo." Alejandro complimented the jockette, almost as if he was being sincere? Blech.

"None from the Lightning, either. Time to smack some nerds into the dust!" He pounded his fist into his palm.

She smirked, eyeing Lightning and Alejandro with satisfaction. She could work with this team.

Meanwhile, Noah, Geoff, Trent, Courtney, and Bridgette were down in the cargo hold, eyeing the outhouse confessional with disgust.

"So, which one of you brave so-called men is going to test out the confessional to ensure it's safe to use?" Courtney asked, shakily trying to hide the fact she was about to throw up.

Trent appeared to be about to volunteer, but Noah beat him to the punch. "Ugh, fine, if I must do it."

"I call going after him, dudes!" Geoff exclaimed.

Noah

Noah's rooting around in the outhouse, facing away from the camera, seemingly inspecting the structural integrity. He turns to face the camera and sighs. "Well, this place sucks, even if it's not going to fall apart on top of me." He lets out another long sigh. "I can't believe I'm admitting this, but I miss Owen. Sure, he's a loud and proud fart machine, but we've been together so long at this point that I don't really know how to compete without riding his coattails." He blinks in realization at what he's just said. "Wow, that's really pathetic. Okay, they labelled me as the Schemer in the first season, right? I can deal with that card…"

Geoff

"I. AM. SO. STOKED!" Geoff shouts, laughing as he smiles as wide as the sun. "World Tour was such a blast as an Aftermath host, uh, mostly. And now I get to not only actually be on one, but be on a World Tour with my best girl Bridge?" He pinches himself to ensure he isn't dreaming. "Ow! Just had to be sure, there. Anyways, I'm hoping that this tour will take me to the perfect place for Bridge and me to…oh crap, I can't spoil that secret yet! What if she sees this tape?" Geoff runs to the camera and knocks it over, causing the tape to stop recording.

Geoff emerged from the outhouse, his cowboy hat slightly crooked. He smiled sheepishly.

"You alright, Babe? Something in there fall on top of you?" Bridgette walked up to him, cupping his face in her hands.

He grinned down at her, ear to ear. "Nah babe, just the camera. I'm just super psyched to be on this awesome tour with you!" His words caused Bridgette to blush and giggle.

Courtney, Trent, and Noah stood nearby, slowly backing away. "We're just, ah, gonna leave you guys down here." Trent stated, averting his eyes as the two began to kiss.

"I really don't understand how they do that so much. Making out isn't THAT great." Noah remarked as the trio went up the stairs.

"I mean, with the right person, it totally can be! But Bridgette and Geoff are just on a whole new level." Trent commented. "There's nothing wrong with kissing a lot, even if I personally prefer it to be in a more intimate setting."

Courtney let out a small grunt of disapproval. "Ugh, but they're showing literally the whole world their tongues! It makes people think that's all to their personalities. Bridgette is actually quite passable as a friend, normally!" Courtney pouted.

"Wow, 'quite passable'. That was almost not an insult." Noah snarked again. "Speaking of insults, I'm surprised you aren't mad at me, Trent."

Trent glanced at the other boy, nodding his head. "At first I was, but you're right. I came here with a really shitty attitude and didn't bother to be polite. But that's not the kind of guy I want to be. Just because I'm mad doesn't mean I can take it out on others…even Duncan."

"Oh, I think Duncan is an exception to that rule. That crude as— er, jerkface, doesn't deserve any sympathy." Courtney scowled at the mention of her ex. "Honestly, he should really just get sent back to prison. Who knows what he'll set on fire next? He's worse than Izzy."

"Yeah, I can see why things didn't work out between you two." Noah snarked, yet again.

"Do you ever say anything that isn't completely annoying?" Courtney scoffed.

"Haven't been told so yet." Noah deadpanned.

"Okay, let's take a page from Geoff's book and just try to get along, right? No need to—augh!" Suddenly, Trent tripped and slid right into the floor of the economy class, with snobbish laughter coming from behind him.

"I think that color looks lovely on you, Trent! You should wear puke-green carpet more often." Duncan was seen laying across three seats with his foot sticking out. "Or maybe you just had to fall for Noah, since you have no personality aside from your romances?"

Gwen and Jasmine stood up from their seats nearby, with Jasmine knocking her head against the ceiling. They both walked over and assisted Trent in standing up, scowling at the delinquent.

"Really, Duncan? Look who's talking about romances. Tell me who's part of the worst love triangle in this show's history? Uh, no offense, Gwen." Jasmine spoke, helping Trent fix his hair.

"Oh, none taken, teenage me was a wreck." Gwen chuckled. "And yeah, it's better to just ignore Duncan, Trent. Trust me when I say that I know you regret your insults and actions from earlier, and that he does not care, and never will care, if you're trying to make amends."

Trent smiled at the pair, nodding his head. "Why don't we go sit down and talk?" He turned his head to invite Noah and Courtney, but Courtney had gotten as far away from Gwen as she possibly could, and Noah was being commandeered by Izzy for assistance with something.

"Sure, sounds like a good time." Jasmine nodded at him. "Unless uh, you two wanted to talk alone?" She motioned to the two, tracing a line with her fingers in the air.

Gwen and Trent both laughed at this idea. "No, no, Trent and I have been good friends for a while now." Gwen turned to Trent, a little guilty. "I'm sorry I didn't stick up for you earlier, by the way. I was kinda distracted. By Courtney."

Trent shook his head, smiling. "No need to apologize. I get it. I mean, I know what pressure does to you." He turned red upon remembering Total Drama Action.

"That was years ago, back when I only wore black and thought I was deep for not talking to anyone." Gwen snorted. "There's no reason to hold it against yourself. We all make mistakes, right?"

"Uh, right. You're totally correct." Trent just nodded his head in agreement with her, avoiding eye contact.

Jasmine raised an eyebrow at his reaction, but before she could ask anything, a megaphone sounded over the speaker system, causing them all to cover their ears and howl in pain.

"Attention, all contestants!" The system screeched with Chris's voice. "Meet outside on the tarmac in ten minutes for your first challenge— on home turf!" Chris turned off the speaker system, causing feedback to destroy their ears with a symphony of high pitched terror.

"Huh? Did Chip just say we're having our first challenge? But like, we haven't even started flying yet!" Lindsay stood up near the back of the plane and gasped.

"I guess with so many people, he wants to kick one of us off before we even get started on the tour." Harold remarked from his own seat next to a less than enthusiastic LeShawna.

"I hate that man so much…" Gwen muttered, clutching her fists.

Jasmine

The gigantic Australian woman barely fits in the camera frame of the outhouse confessional, but her gaze is stern and strategic. "So, my failure last time, aside from disqualification for not making it up that mountain, was my social game. I admit Shaun had me acting a little out of sorts. So to combat that, I've been socializing with all the others a bit, fraternizing, even with those not on my team. I get to know my enemy, and they think that we're friends." Jasmine smirks, only to then drop her gaze sheepishly. "Well, I'd be lying if I said that making friends, even with contestants not on my team, wasn't also a bit gratifying. Gwen is actually quite the nice gal, despite some people thinking of her as some sort of New Heather. Her ex, though? Boy seems a little nutty. But then again, look who I'm dating, so can I really judge?"

Gwen

Gwen faces the camera, resting her head in her hands. She looks up at the camera, frowning. "For all of you creeps out there who keep sending Trent and I relationship fan mail, get this into your thick skulls." She begins to pound her fist and her palm for emphasis on each word. WE. ARE. JUST. FRIENDS." She pauses, fiddling with her sleeves. "I mean yeah, he's attractive and all. Actually, he's more attractive now than ever." Gwen momentarily sighs dreamily before she clears her throat and continues with a neutral expression. But we've talked outside of the show. He's told me himself that he doesn't want to try and rekindle our relationship, and to be honest? I don't really, either." She forces an awkward smile.

"Sorry to say this, since I know he's inevitably going to watch this, but he's clearly got stuff he needs to work on, if Total Drama Action taught me anything other than that karma is definitely not real." She then realizes she's basically called Trent out unprompted and scatters her thoughts. "B-b-but really, he's a cool dude! And hey, I've got things to work on, too. I mean, I used to think talking to people was a death sentence, but Jasmine's pretty alright." She blinks at how much she's said, laughing. "Oh shit, this is probably the longest confessional in Total Drama at this point. Gotta remember that this camera isn't a therapist."

Outside on the tarmac, every contestant was beginning to meander their way to a completely transformed airfield. The interns had been hard at work for the past few hours that they gave the cast to explore the plane, it seemed. Three booths with three different colors and giant red buzzers atop each were sat in front of a giant stage and monitor, currently portraying a spinning homage of Chris McClean's face. One booth was yellow, with an angry looking gorilla pounding its chest painted on, while the second was orange, with a ferocious baboon showing off its serrated claws. The third booth was white, showcasing an adorable gibbon monkey with wide eyes holding out his arms for a hug. It was clear that these were the team logos, and each booth was made for a designated team.

As they filed outside of the plane to prepare themselves for whatever hell Chris McClean had personally delivered on them today, each camper collectively sighed in relief at the lack of mutated animals, blood, and dead interns present. They were hoping for a rare moment where a challenge didn't result in someone being medically evacuated or straight up killed (so many interns had died behind the scenes in seasons 1-6. Seriously. So many).

The closest any contestant ever got to death was ironically during the safest season, way back in classic Wawanakwa. Trent would be less than enthused to be reminded of the time he trusted Lindsay, who "took Biology." Well, a lot of them had nearly died in horrific ways, but Trent was considered the first to nearly die in a horrific way. Unless you counted Cody being mauled by a bear several episodes earlier, but he was totally fine afterwards!…Just a teensy bit traumatized after Chef yanked him and his wheelchair out of a three meter deep sandbar in the lake. Thanks, Beth.

Speaking of Cody, he was the leader of the pack, sauntering out of the plane with finger guns pointed in all directions as he passed the others. Concealing a snicker, Scott stealthily stuck out his left leg and caused Cody to trip down the boarding stairs, slamming his chin into the tarmac below.

Sierra let out a gasp, promptly shoving Scott (and several other innocent bystanders) over the sides of the railing to go see if Cody was okay. She ripped out her emergency First-Cody Kit (like a first aid kit, but including things like Cody's epipen and emergency model magazines). "Hold on, Cody, I'll help you!" Sierra applied disinfectant to Cody's bleeding chin and fixed it up with some bandages. She then stood up, packing her kit up and assisting Cody in standing.

"Jeez, ugh, that stings! What happened?" Cody had been in a haze for most of the procedure. "Oh, uh, thanks, Sierra, for patching me up. You hurt at all? I can return the favor and patch you up with my 'Sierra-Did-Something-Crazy-Again kit."

Sierra gave herself a once-over before flashing him a thumbs up. "All good in the neighborhood, Codester."

"Alright then, sister-from-another-mister." Cody responded as they exchanged what they both thought was a very suave and casual high five.

"Wow. They are both so painfully uncool that it actually hurts my soul." Topher winced, and many of the others nodded in their agreement.

"Nah, bro. They're just being themselves. Traveling around the world makes you realize that anyone can be cool just by being who they are, you know?" Geoff offered, causing Bridgette to swoon.

"Okay, amen to the 'being yourself' part, Geoff, but is that girl on steroids or something? She shoved like four people right over the whole ass stair railing." LeShawna glanced back at the groaning Scott, Tyler, and Brick. Lindsay had been shoved over, but seemed totally fine.

"Thank you for noticing my workout progress, LeShawna! My deadlift is 178 currently." Sierra turned over her shoulder and gave a smile. "Sorry to you guys, though! I've just got protective instincts towards my lo— I mean, my friends." Cody looked a little nervous at her near slip up, scratching the back of his neck.

"I'm totally all good, guys. Tyler cushioned my fall! He's a gentleman like that." Lindsay beamed at her boyfriend, who was currently writhing around in pain.

"I mean, at least she remembers his name, now. That's an improvement, right?" An inquiring Izzy asked Eva as she filled the unconscious Brick's pants with some sort of suspicious object that looked suspiciously like something suspicious. In addition, the object was noticeably suspicious.

"The bar for those two was pretty low to begin with." Eva grumbled back, simply used to Izzy's antics at this point.

"Hey Trent, remember when you lost that bet to me and Harold about Lindsay remembering Tyler's name?" LeShawna turned to him, smirking.

He gave a playful sigh and rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "Really thought I was gonna win that one."

Trent assisted Tyler in standing back up, while Jo surprisingly lifted Brick over her shoulder and carried him fireman-style. Scott was left there in pain because quite frankly, everybody hated Scott.

The last two to exit the plane were starkly different in size. The small pale blonde led the gentle giant out of the plane one step at a time. "Come on now, DJ, you must conquer your fear if you want to accomplish your dreams!" Dawn offered the taller boy an encouraging smile as he took a few tentative footsteps outside the plane.

"I feel so shaky, man," he gasped. "It's like my legs are made out of that gross green jell-o Courtney hates."

"It's probably all of the horse tranquilizers. That'll do it, bro." Izzy commented.

"Yeah, no kidding. Those things had me tripping. I remember all the shouting I was doing. And I'm still not thrilled to be here, but ten million dollars is pretty hard to pass up." DJ gulped. "I just don't know if I can hold it together. Too many negative emotions, you know?"

Dawn tapped his knuckle gently. "You have no reason to fear. You can count on your unconventional allies to support you in your time of need. It's written all over your aura, which by the way, is a lovely shade of blue."

"Uh…thanks?" DJ smiled, raising his eyebrow in confusion.

Sierra

Sierra looks livid. "Don't think I didn't see you trip Cody on purpose, you toxic rat!" Sierra draws a line across her neck in a threatening manner. "You're so totally getting a bad character review on my several dozen fan blogs. And possibly attacked in your sleep." She gasps at what she's just implied. "Oh, uh, maybe cut that last bit out, editing crew?…"

DJ

DJ is shaking with anxiety. "Man, I am really struggling to hold it together. Geoff's been a real pal to me ever since I woke up, but I'm still pretty embarrassed about the way I acted on the bus, earlier. Dawn took my hand when I got startled by the speaker system, and she's been real sweet to me, too. She called my aura, whatever that is, blue. Blue's my favorite color, so I guess I have a good feeling about Dawn?" He lets his head rest in hands as he sighs. "But enough about that. I gotta be strong. For my momma."

After all of the contestants had recovered from the greatly taxing ordeal of exiting the plane, they eyed around and really absorbed their surroundings.

"So, uh, what do you guys think the stage is for?" Geoff tapped his chin in wonder.

"Obviously the challenge…whatever else would the hired expendables subject themselves to constructing such a hideous formation in the name of?" Scarlett sneered.

"You do know that you can demonstrate your intelligence without sounding like you swallowed a thesaurus, right, Loony-Bin?" Noah grimaced.

"The way I speak is not meant to deliver any sort of superiority complex. It's simply a byproduct of my extensive childhood hours studying construction manuals, tech pamphlets, and coding kits. They were made for graduate school students, so I had to adapt my vocabulary for such a task." Scarlett rolled her eyes at Noah, swatting at the air. "You really should consider the circumstances of someone else's linguistic development before you make yourself out to be, as a colloquial term, a total asshole." Scarlett finished, smirking.

Everyone who could even vaguely understand Scarlett's intensive vocabulary had their jaws hit the floor. Noah himself looked as if he'd just tasted the most disgusting thing in the world.

Noah

Noah frowns so hard that it looks as if his forehead creases are about to explode. "Okay, she's going down. It's personal now."

Jo

Jo is cackling so hard that she nearly doubles over from the laughter. "Oh, man!" She gets out in between her laughs. "It's great to see Mr. Sunshine finally getting a taste of his own medicine."

LeShawna

LeShawna shakes her head like a disapproving mother. "I told that scrawny turkey he had to learn a little thing called respect all the way back on the Island. Clearly he ain't gonna be learning any way but the hard way."

Harold

Harold sighs dreamily. "Scarlett's intelligence is almost as attractive as LeShawna's lusciousness." He gazes into the camera, dead serious. Many of the others might have a hard time keeping up with her advanced vocabulary and fast talking tempo, but I mastered advanced literature at Scholar Steve's Literature and Language camp."

"Wow, I didn't really understand anything Susan here just said, but it sounded like the nerd equivalent of getting shot down hard. Absolutely hilarious." Duncan was still chuckling as he locked eyes with Trent, clearly goading him on. However, the latter young man simply averted his eyes towards Jasmine, shooting her a friendly smile. Duncan's (admittedly rusty) mental factory got to work thinking of possible solutions to this riddle. Only one of the explanations didn't involve Trent getting tied into a human pretzel; the two were in an alliance! He had seen them talking earlier, after all.

Before Duncan could go into depth on his new revelation, a familiar haunting laugh echoed through the speaker systems lying beneath the monitor. Smoke machines covered the stage in a layer of fog as a shadow rose from the depths of the stage. None other than the Host that's Super Toast (when Duncan gets his hands on him that is), Chris McClean.

"Wait, how did he get up through that stage when it's built like, barely above the airfield gravel?" Lindsay wondered, and she had an excellent point, for once.

"Welcome, contestants, to your first challenge of Total Drama: World Two-our!" Chris flashed the number 'two' on the huge monitor. "This challenge takes place in an airfield just south of the main Toronto Pearson terminal, and it's a trip down memory lane for all 25 of you veteran contestants!" Chris motioned to the booths arrayed in front of them. "As you can see, each team has their own button booth, and I have my own podium and microphone up here on stage. Behind me, the monitor will display a question that I will simultaneously read out loud. If you think you know the answer to the question, whoever is currently going will slam their hand on the button. If they are correct, their team earns one point! If they're incorrect, the second person to buzz will steal the question. If all three teams get the question incorrect, nobody gets a point." Chris motioned for all of the contestants to gather at their respective team booths.

"Gibbons are the white booth, Baboons take the orange booth, and the Gorillas take the yellow booth." Chris continued with the rules. "To make this fair, since the questions are all about Total Drama contestants and seasons, no contestants will be asked a question about a season or episode they were present for. In addition, only the player at the button can answer the question. Any help from your team is strictly forbidden. And once somebody answers a question, they can't go again until everyone's gone." Chris then clapped his hands. "There will be a total of ten questions. Let's get this show on the road, people! One of you will be getting voted off right here, and just about right now."

"Okay, I say that we obviously let Lightning go first for the first round. It'll be the easiest question." Jo argued to Alejandro at the Killer Baboons booth..

"But the questions are all going to be equally challenging for Lightning to guess. I say we let someone more likely to gain an early lead go first." Alejandro argued back.

Meanwhile, Lightning has already wandered up to the booth on his own. "Sha-Lightning's ready to take this one! Sha-BAM!" He grinned at his competition. The Gibbons had sent Jasmine up, as she admitted to knowing quite a bit about the past seasons of Total Drama (and they wanted to save Sierra, who was certain to win). Likewise, the Gorillas had sent up Geoff, who knew quite a bit as an Aftermath host.

Chris nodded at all three competitors. "Okay, the first question is…" Chris spoke as the board simultaneously flashed the sentence:

"In episode 4 of Total Drama, World Tour, Anything Yukon Do, I Can Do Better, what is the name of the song Bridgette sang with Team Amazon?"

Geoff's buzzer was slammed with such force that he nearly broke the entire booth. "…Stuck To A Pole." He gritted out, snarling.

"Correct, one point to the Gorillas! And ouch, being reminded of your girlfriend cheating on you. Rough, dude." Chris didn't seem all too sorry.

"Sorry, bromigo, I suppose I am simply more attractive to Bridgette when you are not around." Alejandro said with mock-sympathy.

"Geoff, that's not true at all! Don't let him get in your head!" Bridgette called out, frantic.

For question two, after Jo berated Lightning for his idiocy of going up without asking first, Jo herself took the podium, citing that, "If you want something done right, do it yourself." The Gorillas sent up Eva, and the Gibbons let Cody have his go.

Chris cleared his throat. "Question two, you lot…"

"What is contestant Gwen's favorite color, as stated in both Total Drama Island and the interview for Total Drama World Tour?"

Cody slapped his hand down, nearly fast as lightning. Unfortunately, Eva slapped down her buzzer even faster. Cody scoffed, thinking she'd for sure be forfeiting the point to him…

"Midnight Blue." Eva spoke, calm and confident.

"Correct, Eva! Two points to the Gorillas!" Chris shouted.

"WHAT?!" Cody erupted, angrily pointing at Eva. "How did you know that?!"

"Who do you think did the interviews for World Tour, you numbskull?" Eva sneered. "I worked as a reporter for the Aftermath shows. I was literally THERE and I was interviewing YOU! How do you not remember?! I'm not forgettable!" Eva was working herself up.

"Eva, calm down, it's okay! He forgot who Blaineley was, and she interviewed him for Celebrity Manhunt." Noah, of all people, quelled her rage. "Cody's just got a few screws loose. I mean, he is willingly friends with Fifty Shades of Stalker."

Before any more arguments could start, Jo brought the focal point back into view. "Chris, hold on just a minute! How is Eva's reporting allowed, according to your rules?" She was outraged, clenching her fists.

"Eh, Eva wasn't there when Gwen said her favorite color on camera, and that's all the rule stated." Chris smirked. And with that, the Gorillas claimed two points in a row.

For question three, the Gibbons sent up Sierra, hoping to score an easy point. Scott and Izzy stood absolutely no chance from the start.

"This one is probably too tough for any of you to get. It wasn't even filmed. Question three, how many different pairs of—

Sierra cut Chris off, smacking her hand onto the buzzer. "Three different pairs of socks, a leather glove, and two suitcases full of tomato soup." She recited too fast for any normal person.

"That's exactly correct…how did you know what I packed for World Tour?" Chris stared at Sierra, a mixture of fear and wonder in his eyes.

"Oh, that's easy. Before we started filming the first world tour, I called ahead on the bus and pretended to be airport security. I had a man double check you weren't carrying any contraband after pretending to be his boss. Then he told me everything after I asked him to!" Sierra smiled, unaware of her own creepiness.

"…Right. One point for the Gibbons." Chris grabbed at a cross underneath his podium for a moment, just in case Sierra was a demon.

After that, everything began to blur together for the contestants. For round four, the Baboons grabbed their first point with Scarlett, versus Brick and Topher, correctly identifying who placed fifth in Total Drama Action (Harold, much to his delight).

"She knows my name!" Harold sighed happily. LeShawna stared at him, unimpressed.

In round five, the Gorillas got their third point with Courtney, beating Bridgette and Harold to the punch on stating which contestant had a famous soccer player for a brother (none other than Alejandro himself)!

Round six saw the Baboons grab their second point, with Alejandro winning against Trent and Dawn, proudly declaring that wannabe, Beth, was the first contestant to ever appear in the entire series.

"Dawn, can't you read people's minds or whatever? Be faster next time!" Duncan frowned at the moonchild."

"I read auras. And yours looks like a scared little boy afraid to face the real world." Dawn spoke sharply, yet with elegant composure. Duncan was dead silent.

Round seven was handed to the Gibbons when Duncan beat Gwen and LeShawna to naming the shortest contestant to ever participate in Total Drama after LeShawna incorrectly guessed Beth (Max the evil genius was the real answer)! Scarlett scowled upon his name being uttered.

"How'd you even know that, Duncan?" Jasmine inquired, curious.

"Eh, they played Pahkitew Island showings during free time in the slammer. I think they were trying to torture us by making us look at you sorry losers." He snorted rudely at his teammate.

"Reeeal mature." Jasmine rolled her eyes.

"Just like it's real mature of you to go and form an alliance with Gwen and Trent?" Jasmine turned to face Duncan, her face lit up with confusion.

"What the bloody hell are you on about?" Before Jasmine could say anything else, the eighth round was called, and DJ nervously walked up to the booth for the Gibbons.

"To reiterate the score, the Gorillas have three points, while the Gibbons and Baboons have two each. To commemorate this moment…why not have our first musical number of the season?" Chris dinged his tiny little song bell.

"Wait, what? You weren't kidding about the singing part? We're really all doing that again?" Cody gulped.

"Yes indeed, Cody! Except this time, in order to avoid more slippery contestants like you avoiding singing, I'm going to be keeping an especially close eye on each of you." Chef Hatchet emerged from behind the stage, whirring an automatic paintball minigun to life. "Better get singing, kids!" Chris motioned to them all.

"It's ten millions dollars, Duncan…ten million dollars!" The punk muttered to himself.

As was the case for the original world tour, an instrumental beat began to play on the speakers as the contestants were forced to come up with an improvised song…

Chris Is Kind Of The Worst

sung by the Total Drama World Two-our Cast

(to the tune of 'When Can I See You Again')

COURTNEY: It's been a while, but it's not so new

TOPHER: Chris is making us sing, and it's so cruel

CODY: Don't hold your breath, 'cause the song's nowhere close to over yet

EVA: How much worse can this get?

IZZY: Oh oh, do you wanna be~et?

ALEJANDRO: Just sing, make sure you don't forge~et!

JO: As if I would, I'm not some dumb pinhea-ea-ea-ead!

ENSEMBLE (WOMEN): Pin hea~ea~ea~ead!

GWEN: Oh, this show makes me want to die alone!

SCOTT: Then leave right now so I can get the dough!

JASMINE: Why don't he go away and get lost in the sno~o~ow?

NOAH: Come on guys, we all know, deep down…

ALL: CHRIS IS KIND OF THE WORST!

ENSEMBLE (MEN): Oh oh oh oh!

LINDSAY: I want to strangle him with a purse!

ENSEMBLE (WOMEN): Oh oh oh!

BRICK: He made me wet myself on reality TV!

DAWN: He stuffed me in a sack during my leave!

SIERRA: After I won, he disqualified me~ee~ee!

SCARLETT: And that surprises you how? After all…

Meanwhile…

During the chorus following Scarlett's solo, Duncan noticed DJ was completely frozen up, unable to move. He clenched his fist in resolve, before making his way over as the music boomed over their heads. DJ was clearly on the verge of a breakdown.

"DJ, dude, what the hell? You gotta sing!" Duncan snapped.

"Duncan, man…I can't! The stress of being back here, where I hurt so many people and animals? I can't take it! This show…they found me in a shopping mall pushing carts and insisted I go on Total Drama Island 'cause I was big and strong! But I'm not big and strong on the inside! It's embarrassing, and the whole world is seeing me at my worst! You had to give me a second bunny to calm me down way back in Island."

Duncan fiddled with his collar, chuckling nervously. "You know about that?"

"I always knew, deep down. I ain't stupid. And I ain't cut out for this, man!" DJ began to cry quietly, with the other contestants all staring at them as they sang. The Gibbons in particularly kept the song going to allow Duncan and DJ time to sing, as they were the only ones who hadn't done so yet. "I wish I was as strong as you, sometimes, Duncan." DJ admitted.

"DJ, listen to me." Duncan forced DJ's chin to face him, giving him a tough expression. "You're a tough dude, and you and I have always been tight. You got robbed in TDI, TDA, and World Tour. You gotta stand up for yourself, man! The only person who can make you stronger is yourself. Trust me, I'd know. I went to prison over it." Duncan gave a rare sincere smile. "I'll be damned if I'm gonna watch one of the oldest friends I have on this stupid show go home on day one. Let's sing this stupid song, alright? Together."

Duncan and DJ took hold of one another's hands, holding them up in victory as they sang.

DJ, DUNCAN: CHRIS MCLEAN IS THE WORST!

ALL: Yeah!

End

Chris just stared at all of the contestants, who were currently doing jazz hands in mimicry of the way they'd ended 'Come Fly With Us' from the original World Tour. "You guys are really annoying and ungrateful, you know that?" He eventually just shrugged his shoulders. "Hopefully that song falls under fist use with the parody tag. Alright, the challenge score is 3-2-2 in favor of the Gorillas. DJ, Tyler, and Noah-It-All, answer me this question…

"What did, uncensored, Lindsay call Heather just before her own climactic elimination in Total Drama Island?"

Tyler slammed his hand down on the booth! "Oh, I know this! Lindsay and I rewatch the clip all the time! She calls Heather a two faced, backstabbing, lying little…"

Tyler proceeded to, word for word, recite the entirety of Lindsay's speech to Heather. It was truly a piece of art to the ears. Lindsay's words recited through Tyler's impression brought forth a booming flare of passion with every f bomb, b word, and even how she declared Heather's boobs were fake. There was truly nothing held back as Tyler let the profanities fly into the open air. If you were a lyricist , such as Trent, the performance might have driven you to tears, much as it did to him.

Chris gave Tyler a nod of respect. "That'll do, Tyler. That will most certainly do. At least, it would have if you'd actually hit the buzzer. You totally didn't, so the point goes to Noah, who hit the buzzer right after you."

Noah was still recovering from the shock of hearing Tyler's words. "…Sure."

"What?! That's some bull, McClean! Didn't you hear how perfect his answer was?" Jo shouted, steam practically coming out of her ears.

"Yeah, what Joe said! My boyfriend totally just made me cry tears of joy!" Lindsay called out to Chris. "And DJ was literally there! That's also against the rules to ask him that question!"

"I could never repeat those words. My mom would kill me." DJ sighed. "After I said what I said in episode one way back when, after I got eliminated, I was cleaning the entire kitchen with a toothbrush for three days straight."

"Not my fault he can't hit a single button right in front of him." Chris shrugged. "Round nine, should be your favorite, Trent!" Trent responded with a middle finger. "Anyways, Trent and whoever else, get up here." DJ and Jo made their way up to the podium, alongside a very disgruntled Trent.

"Crazy Nines, DJ, and Jo, tell me the name of our great show's theme song!"

Trent smashed the button so hard that it cracked in half. "I Wanna Be Famous." He gritted through his teeth.

"Correctamundo, Trentarino!" Chris ignored the rage; He lived to build up the hate in other people. "And with that, Trent and the Gorillas win the challenge! Now, whichever team fails to get this next question correct will be eliminating a player tonight."

Most of the Gorillas erupted into cheers, slapping Trent on the back and showering him with praise. The other two teams began to look mighty nervous, muttering amongst one another to determine their best course of action.

"Guys, I'm totally showing my Admiral Lindsay: Her Hotness side right now. Send me up. I can totally win, I just know it! Let me prove how totally useful I am." Lindsay pleaded with her teammates

Duncan shrugged. "Fine by me. But no matter how pretty you are, if you screw this up, you're getting eliminated, hotness."

"Don't worry, I totally won't mess it up." She put on her determined face, making her way up to the booth. To nobody's surprise, Alejandro was the one chosen for this question by the Baboons. The Gibbons clenched their teeth as the Baboons smirked confidently. Tyler shouted words of encouragement to his girlfriend, despite the evil eye it gathered from his teammates.

Chris cleared his throat. "The final question of Total Drama Trivia Night is…"

"Who was the first boy Heather kissed on screen?"

Alejandro slammed his hand down onto the buzzer, grinning cockily. "Why, it's me, of course. Heather would do many things to win, but her lips are reserved for me, and me only. No other boy comes close in terms of attractiveness."

Chris took in a deep breath as he burst out laughing. Lindsay tapped her buzzer and awkwardly scratched the back of her neck. "Actually, Jalapeño?…The first boy Heather kissed was Trent. She made me set up an elaborate plan where she kissed Trent to get them to split up. But I totally wasn't on screen when it happened, so I can totally answer the question!" Lindsay verified.

"Yeah, sorry, dude. Guess I'm more attractive to Heather when you're not around." Trent smirked, mirroring what Alejandro had used to mock Geoff earlier.

"B-but! This cannot be! I watched the entirety of the Total Drama series in preparation for both this show and the original World Tour!" Alejandro was in disbelief.

"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt." Remarked Izzy.

"Correct you all are, and to my complete and utter shock, Lindsay claims second place for the Cuddly Gibbons!" The entire team of nine erupted into cheers, hoisting Lindsay above their heads in chants of approval.

Alejandro was in completely dumbfounded silence, turning his head to see seven very angry looking teenagers staring at him. Lightning punched his fist into his palm menacingly.

The son of a diplomat took a deep gulp of air, chuckling nervously. "Surely you all recognize that was an honest mistake, yes? What of Tyler? He…he cheered on the enemy and didn't hit the buzzer!" Alejandro argued.

"Yeah, but we like Tyler." LeShawna smirked at him. "Ain't karma just what your girlfriend is, huh, Al?"

"Killer Baboons, how you have disappointed me! With the sexiest and most dangerous male contestant we've ever had on the show, you still ended up booting someone off first. First! And I gotta tell you, it's even more disappointing you chose to boot off…"

"…There's five votes for Alejandro compared to the three votes for Tyler." Chris looked at the former World Tour runner up, shaking his head. "I guess you're the new Ezekiel. But to make sure that doesn't happen again…" Chef came up behind Alejandro, attaching a straight jacket to the man as he simultaneously kicked him out of the plane. Chris slammed the door shut behind him and Chef ran up to the cockpit, sending the plane hurtling into the air without any sort of proper clearance. Everyone in the back of the plane that wasn't strapped into a seat flew into a wall (including the entirety of the Killer Baboons, who had been in the Drop of Shame area the entire time).

Groaning in pain, Chris McClean rose up to face a lopsided camera. "And…Alejandro gets the boot first! What a twist! Who will get dropped out of the plane next? Is Lindsay getting smarter? And what is up with what Izzy put in Brick's pants?"

"Wait, you did what?" LeShawna blinked at the redhead, who shrugged and chuckled nervously.

Chris smiled at the camera. "Find out all that and more, next time on…

TOTAL!

DRAMA!

WORLD TWO~~OUR!"

Jo

"As if I'd miss the chance to vote off Al." She stamps his passport. "See you never, Alehand-joke."

Izzy

"Alejandro's hot. TOO hot. It's starting to give me sunburns! And he reminds me of my ex, Justin." She stamps his passport.

Scarlett

"Tyler."

Tyler

"Alejandro! He's a total jerk wad." He stamps the man's passport with a frown.

Alejandro

"There is no way I can go home this early. It would disgrace my family! Tyler is gone." He stamps Tyler's passport, visibly worried.

LeShawna

"Alejandro is gone. Sisters, we got our revenge." She stamps his passport with finality, dusting off her hands.

Harold

"See you in the funny papers." Harold stamps Alejandro's passport with a satisfied smirk.

Lightning

"Even though he messed up, Lightning respects a fellow finalist. Alejandro can stay, but that Tyler guy has gotta go. He's cramping the Lightning's style!" Lightning stamps Tyler's face, upside-down.

24 remain.