Lily:

The first couple weeks of term felt like a whirlwind. It was nice to have something to throw myself into. The professors had assigned so much homework that between writing essays, practicing new spells, and my prefect duties, I didn't have much time to think about my family. It was good to get back into a normal routine. But it wasn't as easy to pretend everything was normal as I had hoped. I just found myself wondering if I would ever feel happy again. It's a strange thing that's difficult to describe. I just felt like I used to smile more, like a smile was one of my default expressions. But smiling just seemed to take more effort these days.

I found myself seeking out time alone on the grounds. That was the best part of the early days of the school year. It was still warm enough to sit outside. I found a secluded footbridge on a path through the trees. It was a perfect place to sit and reflect - a safe place to let go of the wall I have successfully built and just breathe and cry.

That's where I found myself one particular Saturday morning after having confirmed that I was alone, I sat on the wooden handrail of the bridge, buried my face in my arms, and sobbed. But then I heard footsteps approaching. Shit! I stopped crying, but kept my face hidden hoping the intruder would take a hint and move along and pretend not to have seen me.

"Evans?" Unfortunately, I had been found by Sirius Black, and although he had many qualities, tact wasn't exactly one of them.

"Please just go away." I had yet to look up, but I recognized that voice and hoped my voice wouldn't give away the intensity of my sobs.

He didn't go away. Of course he didn't. That git. Instead he came up and sat next to me, placing his hand tentatively on my back. "Lily?"

I looked up. I couldn't remember the last time Sirius Black had called me by my first name. But I couldn't help it, I started crying again. And that's how I found myself in Sirius Black's arms, sobbing into his chest. He took this surprisingly well, rubbing a comforting hand up and down my back. Eventually, I cried myself out. He was patient and waited until I was breathing normally again.

"Lily. I'm here if you want to talk about it."

"You won't tell anyone?"

"No."

"Not even the marauders?"

"Lily. I promise that whatever you tell me will stay strictly between you and me."

Merlin knows Sirius Black wasn't my first choice in confidants, but I couldn't help it. The words just started pouring out of my mouth, and I was telling him everything.

"...And my dad left right after I got home for the summer, and Petunia is already living with her boyfriend, so it was just me and Mum in the house. And it was awful! I never realized how much Mum and Dad distracted each other. It was like all of her attention was on me. And she just wanted to sit down and talk about my feelings, and I just couldn't. I didn't want to. I wanted to be alone in my room. And then they made me choose who I wanted to live with. Because that's part of the muggle legal procedure. And my dad wanted me to go live with him, but I never had a choice. Not really. I had to pick Mum. Otherwise she wouldn't have had a reason to continue living. I had to stay so she had to live enough to care for me. But she's so depressed. She would get into these moods and yell at me, screaming about how terrible of a person I am. How I am selfish and only think about myself and how I am just like my dad. It was so awful. And I don't think I'm that bad of a person, but then I was like what if I am? I don't know what to think anymore."

And then I was crying again. And Sirius was comforting me.

"Shhhhhh. It's ok, Lily. You are a wonderful person. One of the best people I know. Families are really complicated."

After I had calmed down a little more, we had one of the nicest conversations I've ever had with Sirius Black.

"So, who else knows about your summer, Lily?"

"No one. I haven't been able to tell anyone about it. I don't want to think about it. I just want to live my life right now."

"That's fair. I don't know what it's like to watch your parents go through a divorce, but I know what it's like to have an abusive family," Sirius told me. And that's when I heard the story of how Sirius had moved in with the Potter family that summer after things with his dark arts obsessed family got even worse than normal. It was an odd experience bonding with Sirius, but it was nice to talk to someone else who had troubled relationships in their families. Emma and Marley had very good relationships with their parents which was one of the reasons I had been hesitating on telling them.

It was actually really nice to have someone know about the trauma of my summer. Hiding from everyone was exhausting, but I didn't know how to tell anyone.

Author's note: I know, I know. This is a Jily fanfic. But in my defense, Sirius Black has a lot more family issues and would have a much better understanding of the pain Lily is in. I promise we will get to the Lily/James relationship, but Lily needs to heal a little before she can think about her own love life. And this is my therapy homework, and my guy friends really helped get me through my trauma in the early days when I wasn't ready to talk about what happened.