Virgil fiddled with the loose strings on his sleeves as he watched Elliot pace. He asked slowly, "And that's why you haven't been sleeping?"

Elliot nodded, fiddling with their beanie. They took it off during their story, and now couldn't stop messing with it. "I miss her. And she's always fused or hanging out at Expression's place. And I like Expression, too!" They lowered their voice as they added, "A lot, actually."

"But they aren't your Sides. And now that Spunks with her Side," Virgil shrugged and gestured vaguely, "you're left with me."

"Right, and you suck." Elliot said teasingly. Normally, that kind of joke would slide off of Verge, but he was feeling off today. It stung more than it should've. Elliot carried on, not noticing his wince, "And Spunk knows who I am. She knows what I'm like. But she still disappears without telling me and- and-"

Virgil sat up straighter as he saw Elliot's eyes widen. In a stiff voice, he said, "Elliot? Elliot! Focus on me."

"Am I being abandoned? Is she leaving me?" Elliot's voice was high-pitched and desperate.

Virgil slid off his chair and took Elliot by the arm. He pulled them to his couch as he said, "You're not being abandoned."

He made them sit down as he crossed the room and retrieved his weighted blanket. He laid it on top of the other side, all twenty pounds. He grunted, "Spunk is just shit at communication."

Then he quickly dropped to his knees and looked under the couch. Owlish eyes blinked back at him and he dragged the little creature from it's cave. With tremendous effort, he dropped the disgruntled fluffball into Elliot's lap. Reluctantly, the fluffball began to purr and rub itself against Elliot's chest.

"And you need to tell her that you still need attention, even if she's found one of her Sides." Virgil finished, crossing his arms and looking down at them. "And, because she's Spunk, and she loves you, she'll listen."

Elliot sighed, slowly placing his hands on Shadow the Hedgehog the Cat. They said, "I know. It's just- what if she likes being with them more than me?"

"Then she likes a part of herself more than she likes her partner. At the end of the day, Expression is going to have a different type of relationship with Spunk than you." Virgil explained, sitting stiffly on his coffee table. "That doesn't invalidate your relationship with her."

"You're right." Elliot said, after a long pause. They pet Shadow distractedly, lost in thought. Finally, they said, "I think I like Vogue, but they're just so different from Spunk."

"Yeah?" Virgil relaxed slightly, now that Elliot didn't seem like they were about to fall apart. They were always slightly faster at recovering from anxiety attacks than Virgil. But that's what happens when you're an Anxiety Side. It hits harder. "What else?"

"Every time they fuse, I feel like Spunk is gone." Elliot waved their hand vaguely. "I know she's not dead; she's standing right there, as Vouge. But… my brain just doesn't accept it. She's gone and I'm alone."

Virgil settled, forcing his legs to stop bouncing. "Do you think you can get used to Vogue? You like them, and as long as they exist, Spunk is safe."

"Yeah, I don't know." Elliot sighed, staring down at Shadow. "It's hard for me to look at them and not notice Spunk's missing. It puts a sour taste in my mouth. I don't like it."

"It'll be okay. You just have to talk it out with both of them." Virgil repeated quietly.

"I hate feeling this way." Elliot whispered. Shadow sensed their mood shift and started licking their hand. It made them smile, slightly, and they sighed. They scratched Shadow behind his ears as they muttered, "I hate being Dependency."

"Maybe it'll come in handy when you find your Sides." Virgil said with a shrug. "You're this way for a reason. Your Established self will understand."

"If I ever even get that far." Elliot said, shaking their head. They sat back against the couch, keeping their hands on Shadow's fur. They asked, "How about you? Did anything come from that double date?"

Virgil glanced away, feeling his cheeks tingle. "Yeah, I mean, I guess. We had another date together and, uh, he's coming over later. So it's going… it's going well."

"That sounded really convincing." Elliot said in a deadpan tone.

Virgil scowled at them, but relented, "Big surprise, I'm anxious."

"About what?" Elliot asked, slowly lifting Shadow the Hedgehog the Cat off their lap and into his arms. They got a disgruntled meow for their efforts, but Shadow quickly settled.

Virgil scratched the cat's back as he said, "I don't know, all of it? I mean, I like him. Fuck, I like him. In ways I've never felt before and that's terrifying on its own." Virgil shook his head, staring up at the ceiling, "Throw in the fact that we haven't even figured out if we can fuse yet? Jesus Christ, that's insane amounts of panic material right there. And he doesn't know my Side name, so what if he leaves me when he realizes I'm shitty? Like that other Side he hates!"

"Virgil, put your hand on Shadow's belly." Elliot instructed calmly. He did, and he could feel the easy rise and fall of the cat's breathing. "Good, now copycat."

With a small huff, Virgil closed his eyes and focused on breathing in sync with Shadow. As they fell silent, he could hear Shadow's purring, and the sound soothed him. Eventually, Virgil opened his eyes and looked to Elliot.

"Better?" They asked.

Virgil nodded, even as he felt his hands shaking and his throat tighten. He spoke through his emotions, "I've been wild all day. What if I freak out in front of him?"

"Then you'll-" Elliot cut themself off as a knock sounded from the door. Virgil's heart dropped into his stomach. "Uh…"

"That's Patton!" Virgil hissed, his grip tightening on Shadow too much. He hissed and swatted at Virgil's hand, before sprinting off his lap. Virgil winced and pulled his hand close to his chest. He peaked at it, and it was just a simple scratch. But shit, did it hurt. Losing the simple weight of his cat, along with the sudden pain, and the unexpected arrival was too much.

Virgil felt his resolve slip away as he plummeted into an attack. The world spun faster, making him dizzy. His breathing raised rapidly and he started seeing dots. All he could feel was a cold, white panic invading his senses. He wanted to scream, to cry, but he couldn't do anything.

He sat there, staring down at his shoes, not really seeing them. He clutched his hand so tightly it hurt, and he could barely hear what was happening around him.

There were voices, who's?

Doesn't matter, they hate you.

Who's here? Where is he?

Someone who will hurt you. Somewhere unsafe.

Is anywhere really safe?

Death is inevitable.

Will he die before being Established?

Will his Sides miss him?

Does he even have Sides? Is he destined to die alone?

Something is touching him, an attack-

"It's okay, Virgil. Can you hear me?" The weight said. No, weight doesn't talk, it's a thing. A person. Virgil blinked, still staring downwards. But now a pair of knees knelt in his vision. Who's lap was that?

"Good, I'll find Shadow and get some water." A different voice called, sounding so far away from him.

"Be quick!" The weight said, before it slid down his arm. Virgil shivered as he felt the pressure move to his fingers, slow and firm. He has an arm; somehow he needed to be reminded of that. A second weight appeared, warm and pressed flush against his knee. In the same slow movements, it slid down to his foot. Virgil kicked lightly as it tickled his toes, and suddenly he had feeling of his leg again. The weights spoke again, "I know this is scary, but you've been scared before."

Virgil shivered, his head jerking upwards. He stared, wide-eyed in front of him. With a blank mind, he slowly assessed what was in front of him. A face he knew well.

Missy? No, Remy. No-

"Patton?" It came out as a whisper.

Patton smiled at him, soft and small. He moved one weight - hand - to his other arm, squeezing it gently. Virgil could feel himself returning to his body as each of his limbs were held. It was disorienting, almost. Like being awoken from a nightmare.

He spoke quietly, ,"But you survived every time you were scared before. Do you remember the last time you felt like this?"

Virgil felt himself nod.

"Tell me." He commanded gently.

"Um, last week." Virgil responded in a raspy voice. He's surprised he spoke at all, but even that simple action seemed to ground him.

"You survived then." Patton told him confidently. "And the time before that. And the time before that."

Virgil felt the air leave his lungs, only this time it didn't feel like he was dying. Patton slowly reached up and wiped a tear off his face. Virgil flinched at the contact, and Patton quickly retreated his hand, instead intertwining his fingers with Virgil's.

"You're stronger than you let yourself believe." Patton said, pulling Virgil's limp hand to his lips. He pressed a small kiss to his knuckles and finished, "And you are never alone."

Virgil stared at the other in silence for a moment as his head cleared. Then he wiped his face with his free hand and mumbled, "Hi, Patton."

"Hi, Virgil." His voice was saturated in kindness and warmth, it wasn't fair. "How do you feel?"

Virgil swallowed, unable to look at him. "Embarrassed."

"Some water can fix that." Patton said, looking over Virgil's shoulder. He reached out and grabbed a water bottle from Elliot, who stood behind him.

Virgil took it and sipped the cold drink silently. Patton's smile widened.

"And who's this little princess!?" He coo'd taking Shadow from Elliot's arms.

"That's Shadow the Hedgehog the Cat." Virgil said, glancing away with a sigh. "He's my emotional support animal. He's kind of bad at it, though."

"Oh, don't say that!" Patton said, holding Shadow up to peer into his eyes. "You're the best at your job! You get a raise!"

Elliot spoke from behind him, "Are you okay, Verge?"

Virgil turned to look at his friend. He tried his best to smile as he said, "Yeah, I'll be fine."

"Do you want me to go?" They asked, glancing at Patton. "So you two can talk?"

Virgil looked from them to Patton, then nodded. "Yeah. Thanks for coming over, though."

"Thanks for letting me rant about my love life." Elliot said with a smirk. "Hope my girlfriend is at home."

"It'll be okay if she isn't." Virgil reminded them gently, "She'll always come back."

"Right. Bye guys." Elliot said before leaving the apartment, closing the door behind him.

Virgil sighed out his nose as he slowly turned to look at Patton. He was petting Shadow, his expression nonthreatening. He inhaled before facing Patton completely.

"So." He said, feeling stiff and a little anxious again.

"So." Patton smiled up at him. "How long have you had panic attacks?"

"Always." Virgil said in surprise. "As long as I can remember."

Patton nodded slowly, looking down at Shadow once more. He spoke easily, casually, as he said, "My little sister was diagnosed as Jumpy-Timid."

"...oh."

"The smallest little thing would make her scared. A loud noise, a sudden movement. Even turning on the lights without warning could startle her." Patton slowly pet Shadow, watching the kitty. "She got better with it as she grew up. But, she's still Jumpy-Timid."

"I'm not Jumpy or Timid." Virgil said, shifting his weight. "I'm way worse."

With another kind smile, Patton said, "I'll be the judge of that."

That's what I'm scared of. Virgil thought. He shook his head and tried to remain calm. He steeled himself, then looked Patton in the eye.

"I'm Anxiety."


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