"FALSEHOOD!" Logic shouted, pacing back and forth. The floor felt cold under his bare feet. The rain grew harsher during their discussion and it now roared in Logic's ears. "Falsehood after falsehood after falsehood!"
He turned and looked to Janus - not Patton - and shook his head. He said, "I trusted you. You knew I trusted you, and you still lied to me!"
Lightning flashed behind the curtains.
"I'm sorry!" Janus said. Logic blinked, taking in his shaking form. He was on his knees, his hands raised above his face. He wouldn't look at him. He flinched at the sound of thunder. "I'm sorry..."
Logic took a step backwards, taking inventory of his emotions. He had never felt such anger before, but even that was explainable. He was betrayed, his emotions are reacting in this way to teach him to avoid this situation again.
Too bad, he mentally told his emotions. Because I won't leave him.
Slowly, Logic breathed out, calming himself. Then he said, "You understand what you did was wrong?"
Janus hesitated, slowly looking up at him. He lowered his hands, closer to his chest. Logic watched him swallow. He whispered, "Yes. Yes, I'm sorry."
Logic silently stared at him, watching the man he grew close to cower before him. He shook his head, "Stand up, please."
When Janus didn't, Logic quietly said, "I won't harm you. That was a promise. Please, come sit with me."
They didn't speak again until Janus was sitting at the kitchen table. He stared down at his hands. Logic had gotten them both glasses of water, and had thrown out Polemic's tea. He sat across from Janus, rubbing his head.
"It's Janus, right?" He asked.
Janus' eyes widened at that, but he nodded. "I don't really-" He cleared his throat, then said instead, "It was my mother's choice."
"A fine name." Logic said, "Do you prefer it over your Side name?"
"Um-"
"Which is, of course," Logic added bitterly, "Deceit."
Janus winced and said, "Right. I-" He sighed and grumbled, "I don't care."
Logic didn't think that was true, but he didn't push. He instead asked what he needed to know, "Do you have control over your lies?"
"What?" Janus asked, looking up at him. He seemed small in his seat, as if he were years younger than Logic. He seemed surprised by the question, like no one had bothered to ask that before.
"Are your lies caused from compulsion or are they intended?" Logic asked, staring Janus in the eyes. "I need to know the level of your deception."
Janus shook his head, "There's no levels to it. I'm just Deceit. I lie because I'm a bad person and that's what we do."
Logic frowned, not expecting that response. "Every Side has a purpose."
"And mine is getting thrown in juvie." Janus smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. Those eyes held an exhaustion that Logic could only imagine. How could one being look so old and so young at the same time?
"Why did you lie to me?" He asked, keeping his voice even. "When we first met."
"I needed you to like me." Janus shrugged, pulling his knees up onto the chair with him. He didn't meet his gaze. "Patton didn't like me."
Logic leaned closer, "Patton Morality was real?"
"Yeah. Did you look into my memories?" He asked.
"Not on purpose." Logic said, glancing away from him. He remembered what it felt to be Polemic. To be half asleep and half on guard. He was awake enough to listen to what they were saying, but not focused enough to pry elsewhere.
Janus shrugged and picked at the paint on his nails. "I looked at yours."
Logic wasn't sure how to react to that. He opted to ignore that discussion for now. Instead, he asked, "So what really happened with Patton?"
"Our fusion did punch the bartender. Then we ran out and unfused. He scratched me during fission and told me to get lost." Janus spoke flatly, his gaze never leaving his nails.
"And you haven't spoken since?"
"He doesn't want me."
Logic wanted to reach across the table, but it felt inappropriate, somehow. He pressed his hands together under the table and said, "I want you."
Janus froze, glancing up at him. He said quietly, "You don't mean that."
"I do." Logic said, sighing. He shook his head, imagining all the future headaches. "It's not logical, but I do."
Janus squirmed under his stare, his cheeks darkening. He muttered something under his breath that Logic couldn't hear. It was quiet for a few moments.
Logic asked, "Can I experiment on you?"
A frown formed on Janus' face, then he asked, "In the sexy way?"
Logic laughed softly and shook his head. "In the Side way. I'm curious how your trait affects your way of life."
"What?" Janus sat up straighter, lowering his legs.
"More specifically, I'm interested in your lying habits - what causes you to lie - and any negative withdrawal you feel when you don't lie. I'm also curious about how this affects your relationships and mental health." Logic counted the thoughts on his fingers. He folded his hands and looked to Janus, "If that's okay."
Janus looked like he was concentrating. He asked slowly, "So you, you want to know what it's like to be me?"
"Yes, absolutely."
He looked into Logic's eyes, and he could see moisture forming in Janus' mismatched pupils. "You're not gonna kick me out?"
Logic stood then, ignoring any social norms he knew. He held Janus, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. He felt Janus shake against him, so he pulled him closer. He whispered, "No, dearest. I won't resent you for who you are."
When he started to feel a warmth spread through him, Logic stepped back. He felt his heart tug when Janus reached for him to return. "Let's not bring Eugene back just yet, okay?"
Janus frowned, but nodded. He rubbed at his face, clearing the tears from his eyes. Logic wanted to touch him more, but they weren't done talking yet. He leaned against the table and crossed his arms.
"I was going to tell you earlier, but then all of that happened…" Logic gestured vaguely, taking a deep breath. "I fused with Roman."
Janus' jaw dropped, then he smiled, "Babe! What happened?!"
He seemed more relaxed now that the conversation wasn't about him. Logic was willing to postpone the rest of his questions for now. He wanted Janus to feel comfortable around him. He liked how close he felt to Janus when he was Patton. He wanted to keep that.
"We met at the library to discuss the show and 'catch up', as it were." He said. "I anticipated things would be hostile around him, but he was surprisingly honest."
Janus shifted uncomfortably. Logic carried on, "We had a successful conversation about his identity and then we kissed, which resulted in us fusing."
"Wow, so romantic." Janus said teasingly. "You really know how to tell a story."
"Thank you." Logic said. He watched as Janus laughed. He decided he preferred Janus' laughter over his tears. He cleared his throat and said, "Our fusion was Innovative. He likes to tinker."
Janus' voice sounded soft as he mumbled, "Cute."
Logic felt his chest ache sympathetically as Janus yawned. He truly did look exhausted. Logic said, "You can sleep here tonight, if you want."
"Thank you." Janus said, standing up. He swayed on his feet, catching himself against the table. "It's been a long day."
Logic stood and wrapped an arm around him, helping him stay upright. "Aside from everything I caused-"
"You didn't cause it."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
They started walking towards his room. Janus sighed and grumbled, "I had a job interview and they turned me down cuz I'm a Deceit Side."
Logic stopped in his tracks, but Deceit walked on without him. He plopped down on Logic's bed, face first. "What? That's- that's illegal."
"Not for Negative traits." Janus said from within the pillows.
Logic stepped up to the side of the bed and asked, "How many times has this happened to you?"
Janus lifted his head up and responded, "You mean recently or in general?"
"Oh, Janus..." Logic sighed, sitting on the bed beside him.
Janus scooted over to give him more room. "Look, I can go on and on about microaggressions and the systematic oppression of Negative Sides, but that doesn't make for a very good bedtime story."
Logic conceded that was a fair point. He sent Roman a quick text and said, "Well how about we get into some dry clothes and you can tell me a better bedtime story."
"Like what?"
"Tell me something about you. Something true."
That night, Logic laid beside Janus and listened to his sleepy whispers about his childhood. He spoke of his uncle, Frank, who used to take him camping. We'd go every summer. One time I saw a bear. That's not true. When Janus' voice faded into soft snores, Logic finally let himself rest.
Logic woke up with Janus pressed against his back. He had an arm wrapped around Logic's waist, and a leg pressed between his. Slowly, he moved out from under Janus. He could feel the arm tighten around him, followed by a short groan.
Logic turned as best he could to see his friend. One light brown eye peaked back at him.
"I have a class, my dear." He said in a whisper.
"Don't go." Janus replied, sounding awfully small.
Logic slid further off the bed, taking Janus' hand in his own. He kissed his knuckles and responded, "I have to go to class or I will figuratively die."
Janus groaned again, pulling the blanket up to his chin. He grumbled under his breath, "Stupid Logic trait."
He chuckled and kissed Janus' forehead. "Yes, yes, education is so tedious."
Janus watched him silently as he got ready. Although Logic was turned away from him while he dressed, he could still feel Janus' eyes on him. His skin felt warm and he wanted to crawl back under the covers with Janus. There was so much he wanted to discuss, but he didn't have the time.
After he slung his backpack on, he gave Janus another kiss. He grumbled again but Logic could see his blush.
"You're not much of a morning person, are you?" He asked with a laugh.
"Yes I am." Deceit said from under the covers. "I love daylight."
Logic chuckled again and said, "I'll be gone for a couple hours. You're welcome to stay here, if you want."
Janus looked up at him, finally giving him a hesitant smile. "Okay. Thanks."
"We can talk more later." He said, dropping one last kiss in his hair. "Goodbye, dearest."
Sitting in class, Logic relaxed at the sight of Sandra. She sat next to him and began pulling out her notebooks.
"You seem well rested. I assume your fission was successful." She said, barely glancing at him.
"Yes. You were right." He said with a small sigh. "He is a Deceit Side."
"Interesting." She said, sitting back and tapping her own.
"It really is." Logic agreed quietly. He stared at the diagram of a fusion of the board. He asked, "How difficult is it to switch minors mid-semester?"
Sandra shrugged, "Not too hard. You just have to talk to your academic advisor. Some of your credits may be switched around, I believe. Why?"
"Innovative and Polemic…" He thought for a second, licking his lips distractedly. "They intrigue me. Roman needs a diagnosis and Janus doesn't understand the biology behind his trait. They're the perfect study subjects."
Sandra nodded, leaning closer as she listened. "They do sound fascinating. Are you going to use them for the final project?"
Logic frowned, "What final project?"
"Professor Green is going to discuss it today, I think. He sent an email detailing it." She said, flipping to one of her notes. "We are to do a presentation on any topic regarding fusion. It can be about biology or their societal expectations or about your own Sides."
"That's perfect." Logic said, skimming through the notes she wrote. If he were to do an essay, it should be APA format, six pages, and single-spaced. Logic could practically feel the figurative gears turning in his head. He was already planning out his essay, centered around his Sides.
He had trouble focusing once Professor Green started his lecture. He was too busy thinking about Roman and Janus. His handsome mystery men.
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