Chapter 8:
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in the story, they all belong to J.K Rowling.
A/N: PLEASE NOTE: MY NEW NAME IS AQUABEE, NOT DAISYWELLS. Sorry for the long wait for this chapter! Thanks to everyone who has read, favourited, followed and reviewed this story! Just before the story starts, I just want to point out that at the start of this story, Sirius is thinking about something that he says to Harry right before he dies at the end of the Order of the Phoenix, but he only says it in the movie, not the book, so don't be confused!
Sirius ran a tired hand through his shoulder-length brown hair and sighed softly. He felt so happy for his godson, so proud of all he had achieved in the first 17 years of his life. Harry was growing to be an intelligent, strong, courageous and loving man, surrounded by friends who had been by his side through thick and thin, a gorgeous, fierce girlfriend who understood him so well, and an adopted family who cared for him as though he was their son. But Sirius couldn't help an overwhelming wave of regret, guilt, anger and sadness washing over him every time he thought about Harry. Sirius' mind kept ticking over what had happened the night he died . If he had listened to Dumbledore, Moody and Tonks' pleas for him to stay in the house when they got wind of what had happened, and if he had paid more attention to Remus' grim, serious talk with him as the Order went into fight mode at 12 Grimmauld Place, he would have survived. The argument between the pair rolled around his head
"Sirius, I know you want to fight. I do. But if you stay put, we can get Harry out of there quickly and efficiently, and bring him back to you."
"Moony, it's my fault Harry is in grave danger at THIS VERY SECOND! If anyone should be risking their lives to save him, it should be me!"
"Pads, please calm down. We are used to being in sticky situations, and no one is going to be killed." Remus reached a hand out to hold Sirius' shoulder comfortingly.
"You don't know that, Remus!" He cried, shaking off his friend's grip on his shoulder. "Anything can happen when you're least expecting it! Look at Harry with the Dementor attack! Look and Lily and James…" Sirius' breath caught in his throat, and both of the men tried to look anywhere but at the other person.
Remus' voice shook with emotion as he broke the silence."You made a promise to Lily when you were named godfather to protect her son and tell him everything about his parents if anything were to happen to them. You made a promise to Prongs, Sirius, to treat Harry as your own son, and be there for him when he needs you most." Remus looked at Sirius straight in the eyes and saw his unshed tears reflected in his friend's emotional face. The men stared at each other for a long, hard moment, before embracing tightly. Remus felt Sirius' shoulders shaking in his arms, and the werewolf let his head droop and the tears fall. They stood together for a minute or so before Sirius pulled back his head and said,
"I'm coming with you." Remus knew that nothing he said now would change his friend's mind, so he simply nodded and pulled the man into a final embrace.
.
Something else was niggling Sirius though, and he sat still for a moment before he realised what it was.
"Expelliarmus!" Harry shouted, disarming a Death Eater, who tumbled off the rocks behind him.
"Nice one, James!" Sirius called, and missed the confused look Harry sent him as he hurried over to fight his dear cousin Bellatrix.
Sirius groaned softly into his hands and squeezed his eyes shut tightly. The last time he ever spoke to his beloved godson, he hadn't even used his name. Molly Weasley was right after all. He did think that Harry was James sometimes, although it had been subconsciously most of the time. But it was blatantly apparent to everyone that whilst Harry had his father's features, his personality was much more like his mother's. Sirius felt so awful, and wished more than anything that he was able to go down to Earth and apologise to his godson for what he had said that night. He opened his eyes, half-hoping his wish had been granted, but he was still standing where he had been seconds before. He slumped to the ground and let his hair fall in front of his face, sighing loudly. He closed his eyes again and was so lost in thought that he didn't notice Lily approaching him, and didn't react to her sitting down by his side. It was only when she placed a warm, gentle hand on his back that Sirius started and looked up. Lily was peering worriedly at him, her sparkling green eyes piercing his.
"Lily... He croaked, fully aware that she was seeing his tear-streaked face and red eyes, and immediately wishing he'd had a chance to clean himself up. Sirius made a movement to wipe his face with his hand, but Lily caught his wrist and stopped him.
"It's ok to cry, y'know." She whispered and released his wrist. "Do you want to talk?" Sirius felt a rush of gratitude towards his friend for not asking if he was okay, because it was obvious that he wasn't.
"I'm not sure how to talk to you about this though." Sirius was worried that Lily would hate him if he told her what he had said to Harry, and he didn't want to be stuck with an angry Lily Potter for all eternity.
"Let's start simple. Is this about someone down on Earth, or up here?"
"Earth."
"Is it an adult, or a chi- adult?" Lily stumbled over the last option and was hit with a wave of realisation of just how fast her son had grown up.
"Umm… difficult choice. I guess I'll say.. Adult!" Sirius had noticed Lily's sadness and cracked a weak attempt at a joke, but it fell flat. Lily ran a hand through her auburn locks and took a deep breath.
"Is it about Harry?"
"Yes," Sirius mumbled. He should have known Lily would guess it was about her son. Harry was the main person on his mind these days, and he was certain it was the same for Lily and James.
"What about Harry?"
"Something I said to him in his 5th year."
"Ah," Lily said shortly. "Are you regretting something you said, or just reflecting?"
"Erm… A mixture of the two, but mainly regret, I suppose."
"Do you want to explain?" Lily asked gently, taking Sirius' hand in her own.
"When the battle at the Ministry happened, Harry and I were duelling Malfoy. Harry Disarmed him, and I-I said-" Sirius' voice broke as a fresh wave of regret washed over him. "I called him James, and I feel so bad because Molly Weasley was saying the entire year that I kept thinking Harry was James, and I kept saying that I wasn't, but then my last words to Harry were 'nice one, James' and…" Sirius looked, almost fearfully, across at Lily, worried that she would hate him for what he had said. When she didn't reply for a few seconds, he opened his mouth to speak again, but she stopped him.
"We all make mistakes, Sirius. Harry does look like James, and he does act like him sometimes as well." Lily smiled, and Sirius knew she was thinking about when his godson and Ron Weasley flew the Ford Anglia to school in their second year.
"I know, but I never got to apologise to him. My last words to him were 'nice one, James'. I feel SO stupid!" Sirius exclaimed, his voice getting higher. Lily put an arm around his shoulders, noting the tears in his eyes.
"Sirius Orion Black, you are not stupid. It was an accident, and it happened on the spur of the moment. Don't beat yourself up about it, alright? Just appreciate that he remembers anything you said to him, even the sentences you'll get annoyed at saying later." She said the last sentence with an air of forced happiness, and Sirius realised that his regret seemed petty compared to Lily and James'. They never got to have a proper conversation with their son, after all.
"Shoot, Lily, I'm sorry. You hardly got to talk to Harry, and here I am complaining about one of the hundreds of sentences I said to him." Sirius smiled sadly at her, and she stood up, pulling him with her. They embraced, before walking over to where Fred, Tonks, Remus and James were sitting, laughing about Fred's adventures whilst co-owning Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.
The group spent a comfortable half-hour chatting and laughing and didn't pay much attention to what was happening down on Earth, until Tonks looked down, and saw her son and his godfather walking around the Burrow's back garden together. It was early in the morning, and mist still hung in the air, and Harry and Teddy were both rugged up. Tonks nudged her husband, who looked at her inquiringly before she motioned down to Earth, and Remus spotted his son.
"Oh," he whispered, his breath catching in his throat. Remus missed his son every second of every day, and he wished that he hadn't left his wife and unborn child. The countless experiences he missed out on haunted him, and would for all eternity, but he felt a sense of pride every time he saw Harry and Teddy together. Proud of his honorary nephew for taking such good care of his and Dora's child, and proud of his son, for being one of the few people whom Harry felt safe to talk to about anything (Ginny being the only other person). Remus spun around and saw that the rest of the party had also noticed the scene on Earth. Lily and James were watching with tears in their eyes, and Sirius and Fred looked on with sad smiles on their faces. His wife was holding back tears, and a few stray ones had already etched tracks down her cheeks. Remus intertwined his fingers with hers, and she gave him a faint grin and squeezed his hand in return.
(Down on Earth)
"Everyone's funerals are today, Teddy. Fred, your parents, and so many others. There's also a memorial service up at Hogwarts this morning for everyone who died in the Second Wizarding War, which of course involves Sirius." Harry's voice broke, and he buried his face in Teddy's turquoise hair for a few seconds before continuing."Everyone who fought on our side will get a plaque that is going to be put up somewhere at Hogwarts. I think there's going to be a hallway built for it. And I have to make a speech at the service, and so do Ron and Hermione. I haven't written my speech yet, because every time I sit down to write it, all the words seem inadequate. Nothing I say will ease the pain of losing a son, a friend, a brother, a sister, a daughter, a mother, a father." Harry looked down into his godson's eyes and smiled sadly when the child reached up a chubby hand and attempted to grab the glasses off his nose."I am an orphan too, Teddy, but I grew up in the care of people who didn't, for a very long time, didn't care whether I lived or died. I missed my parents every single day during my childhood, and I still do.
Lily pressed her lips together as her son spoke, her heart aching and a fierce flame of anger building in her stomach. James put an arm around her waist, sensing her hatred and attempting to comfort her.
You are so lucky, Ted, that you are going to grow up in a loving, caring family, who accept all your flaws and spoil you silly. You are so lucky to be surrounded by people who knew both your parents well and will be able to tell you stories about them. I swear that I will always be here for you through thick and thin, and won't ever, EVER get angry or annoyed at you for no reason. I hope that one day you will come to see me as a mixture of father and brother, just like Sirius was for me."
James sent a fleeting, grateful smile in the direction of his best friend, who grinned half-heartedly back at him, sadness evident behind the smile.
Harry dug around in the back pocket of his faded jeans and pulled out a small photo album. In the middle of the cover had a picture of Remus, Tonks and baby Teddy standing outside their white-washed cottage, laughing and waving at the camera, and twinkling stars surrounded the image. "Ginny, Hermione and Luna made this for you. They thought that you might like this to look back on as you grow older, especially around the time of your parents' death. Hagrid gave me a similar one of my parents when I was 11, and I still get it out and look at the pictures from time to time, especially around Halloween. I know you don't understand the full significance of this right now, but I think you'll appreciate it more as you grow up." Harry walked over to a worn wooden chair that sat at the back of the Burrow's garden and sat down, cradling Teddy in his arms. He flipped through the leather-bound album, explaining to his godson the meaning behind each picture, Teddy occasionally gurgling happily. After they finished looking through the book, the pair sat in silence, and as Harry reflected on all he had lost, he felt himself falling further and further away from the Burrow. His hands started getting clammy, and his heart banged a steady drumbeat against his ribcage."What's the point of living?" He thought," If everyone who loved me has died? Remus, Sirius, Mum, Dad, Fred, Tonks, Mad-Eye, Dumbledore…." The tears started to fall, and Harry's shoulders shook as he sobbed.
The group fell silent. They had heard Harry's thoughts and realised just how much the war had affected him.
"I want to go down there and hug him and reassure him that people still love him and that he is so, so brave," Lily whispered into her husband's chest as they embraced, relishing the feel of his strong arms around her.
"I know, Lils, I know. I want to do the same thing, and I'm sure everyone else here is having similar feelings. But he'll be ok."
Ginny got out of her creaking bed with a sinking sensation in her stomach. Today was funeral day, and she was not looking forward to it. She scraped her hair back into a messy ponytail and pulled on her track pants, singlet and jumper. Ginny crept down the stairs, carefully avoiding the creaky step on the way down. She grabbed a banana from the fruit bowl and a scrap piece of paper and a pen, peeling back the banana's skin as she went. The teen then scribbled a hasty note and left it on the kitchen counter, knowing all too well that her mother would freak out if she woke up and found her youngest child missing.
Gone for a run.
be back soon.
Gin X
She stuffed half the banana into her mouth and went out the back door, shutting it quietly behind her. The sound of birds chirping and the fresh, crisp air immediately made Ginny relax. She finished her banana quickly, chucked the peel into the compost bin on the side of the house and broke into a light jog. She was nearly out the back gate when she heard sobs issuing from the corner of the garden, and hurried over to see who it was, her heart skipping a beat with worry when she saw a mop of dark hair poking over the top of a chair. Harry had been slipping into dark places recently, and it had been getting increasingly harder to get him out of them. She walked quickly and quietly over to behind the bench, before sitting down next to him and taking his hand. "Harry," She whispered, and her boyfriend looked up slowly, his face tear-streaked and blotchy.
"Gin, " he croaked, fresh tears rolling down his cheeks again. She reached out an arm and wrapped it around his shoulders, pulling him closer to her. A baby's hand waggled a fist at her, and she smiled when she realised it was Teddy. Another hand stroked Teddy's hair absentmindedly, twisting the baby's turquoise locks gently around his calloused, shaking hands.
"Do you want to talk?" She asked, gently reaching up and brushing away Harry's tears with her thumb. He nodded and took a deep breath, planting a kiss on his godson's forehead.
"I was thinking about today. About how I have to make a speech, and how every word I say sounds so inadequate compared to the losses people are suffering from. And then I thought about everyone I'd lost: my parents, Sirius, Dumbledore, Remus, Mad-Eye, Tonks, Fred…" He trailed off, seeing the tears in his girlfriend's eyes as her brother was mentioned. The pair sat in silence for a moment, before Ginny spoke.
"You have lost so many people, Harry, I'm not denying that," She said quietly." But there are still people here for you." her voice was getting stronger now."Hermione loves you, Ron loves you, Teddy loves you, my Mum and Dad love you, Luna loves you, Neville loves you. I love you." She'd never said 'I love you' before to him, and the words hung in the silence that followed.
"I love you too, Gin. More than you could ever imagine." He replied, his arm resting around her waist.
"Gosh, I love that girl," Lily whispered, an overwhelming sense of gratitude toward Ginny Weasley flowing through her. She had done everything Lily would have done if she had been down there with her son, and it made her feel at ease that someone else was able to understand him on a level no one but his mother had previously been able to do.
"And about your speech, don't worry about saying something insufficient or inadequate, because if you want to sound heartfelt, you will. Speak from here, Harry." She poked a gentle finger at his chest and kissed his forehead gently. "Besides, Hermione and Ron are going to be speaking right after you, and I'll be sitting next to you up on stage." All surviving members of Dumbledore's Army and the Order of the Phoenix would be sitting on a makeshift stage for the ceremony, with empty chairs and bouquets of flowers interspersed along the rows to honour those from the groups who died in both Wizarding Wars. They embraced, a little awkwardly, as Teddy was in between the two of them, but it was comforting all the same. The sun had started to rise, and its golden rays were poking through the trees, warming the pair's backs.
"Sorry for interrupting your run," Harry said, taking in his girlfriend's outfit.
"Don't apologise. You and your well-being and much, MUCH more important to me than exercise. Besides, we should probably get back home." Ginny stood up, but Harry caught her hand and dragged her back down.
"Gin, this will probably be the last moment alone we'll have all day, and I haven't forgotten that Fred was your brother. How are you feeling?"
"In all honesty, I've been dreading this day. I miss Fred all the time, and knowing he's never going to come back is sometimes too much to handle. I don't know how any of us are going to make it through this day." Ginny sighed, and Harry brushed her bangs out of her eyes with his free hand.
"I'm not going to leave your side today. We'll be right next to each other at the Memorial Service at Hogwarts, and at Remus and Tonks' funeral, I'll stand at your side. And at Fred's funeral, I'll be right next to you, holding your hand and hugging you. If you ever need to talk, tell me, and I'll stop whatever I'm doing and listen. And if you need someone to hold you up and never let you fall down, I'll be there." Harry smiled at her, and Ginny lent forward and kissed him lovingly, trying to put her feelings of gratitude and love and thanks into the kiss.
"I'll be there for you as well, Harry." The pair stood up and intertwined their fingers together. Teddy was nestled in the crook of Harry's left arm, and the trio walked together back to The Burrow, sunlight making the dewy ground glisten like jewels.
"Do you think they'll be ok today?" Tonks asked, looking around at Sirius, Remus, James, Lily and Fred.
"Well, Harry and Ginny have each other, and so do Ron and Hermione, Molly and Arthur, and all the members of the Order will be together. But I'm worried about Andromeda. She's got no one now that both Dora and Ted are gone." Remus said, his eyes on his wife.
"And George," Fred said, his eyes downcast. Lily moved away from where she and James were standing and put an arm around the younger man's shoulders comfortingly.
"George will be alright. Ginny, Ron, Bill, Percy and Charlie will look after him, and so will Molly, Arthur and the rest of the Order. And Fred, we'll look after you." Lily indicated to the rest of the group with her free hand, and they all nodded.
"It's going to be a tough day for everyone, but they'll pull through. They always do in the end. And we'll pull through as well." James said, striding over to his wife's side and taking her free hand.
