Chapter 12
There was a gawky feeling in the cabin the next morning. Ishwari could feel the other maids glower at her as she got ready. She could only wonder what they had said about her after she had left last night. As they walked down to their job, she attempted to talk to Shanna, in hopes to clear everything up.
"Is everybody upset with me." She quietly asked
Shanna just glanced over at her and sighed. "Well it caught everyone off guard, and in a way it makes you look bad. Like your only having sex with him so you can get special treatment."
"I'm not seeking any special treatment, and besides I never slept with him. I had a bit of a moment with him a few nights ago and he said he wanted to talk with me more. That's the only reason he spent the evening with me last night."
"I find that hard to believe." Shanna said in a heated tone. "I've been here ever since he came into power, and I've seen him take countless women into his royal chamber, for them to come back out only twenty minutes later, hair a little messier than when they had went in, and then they were never seen again once they left. All he wants from you is a release, and when he's done with you, he'll just move onto the next one."
"I don't think it's like that" Ishwari replied as they walked into the palace.
Shanna simply shrugged her shoulders "well if it does happen to turn out like that, don't come crying to me." she walked on ahead towards the stairs leading to the lower level, not once looking back at her.
Ishwari continued through the day, partially bothered by what the others now thought about her. They all probably now viewed her as some whore. She was actually beginning to feel like one herself. After all, she had kissed, no, made out with Pagan while she was still married to Mohan, but she wanted her mission to be a success and sacrifices would have to be made.
She worked her way out to the hallway, in which she began to check under all the figures, looking forward to finding a letter from Pagan, but there was nothing. Disappointing she finished up her days work, continuing to keep an eye out for him to come looking for her. She finished up the work without seeing her king.
Before she knew it three days had passed, and she had not seen him or received any letters. She couldn't understand it. He seemed very pleased with the other night and they even kissed afterwards. Didn't he want to see her again? He talked as if he had, so why? She then began to think about what Shanna had told her. What if it was true? What if he had already become bored with her and moved on to the next interesting person he could find? It was then she felt a wet liquid running down her face. With her fingertips, she wiped her cheek to find that she had begun crying. She wasn't sure why she had began weeping, sure it was her mission that was at stake, but she never thought she'd get emotional over it. She was lying to herself though. She in fact did know why she was crying, she just didn't want to admit it. Admit that she wanted Pagan more than she had ever wanted anyone in her life.
He consumed her thoughts constantly and her beloved Mohan was beginning to become a faint memory to her. The thought of her betraying the sacred vows her and her husband had made to one another made her feel like garbage. She promised that she would love Mohan until death do them part, but she was no longer in love with the man she had been faithfully in a holy matrimony with for over eight years now. In a way it wasn't fair, she had no say in marrying Mohan. Their marriage was arranged when she was a small child and they were also wed while she was still very young, being only 13 years old. Mohan was also much older than her, having nine years on her.
Pagan on the other hand was only a year older than her, which could be part of the reason she understood him more. The time she had spent with him showed that he wanted the same things as her. She could listen to him talk for hours on end and could never become bored. He had so much to say and she had so much to learn. When she told him about her dreams, he would smile and encourage her on them. He made her feel like there was nothing she couldn't do. Then there was his appearance. God, he was appealing to look at, and every time she saw him, she felt lust.
Shanna's words started moving back into her thoughts, cutting deep like a knife. Ishwari was afraid that she was right, and Pagan had already found someone else. She wasn't entirely sure how she would act if she did see Pagan with another woman. She wanted to claim him as her own, and in return, she wanted to be his one and only also. She had to do something, she wasn't about to sit by idly, and let him slip out of her grip. Wiping the tears off her face and putting her work on hold, she pulled the notepad out of her bag and began writing.
Pagan,
I enjoyed the night we spent together. I keep playing every detail over in my head, wanting to relive the experience. I am completely love struck and I long to see you again. You have managed to make me feel like some school girl, nervous to talk to her crush. You haven't made contact with me for a few days now and I'm afraid, afraid I disappointed you. Please don't leave me in the dark, please let me know if you're as crazy about me as I am about you.
~Ishwari
She folded up the piece of paper and wrote his name on it. She held it close to her as she walked out of the current room she was cleaning and headed down to Pagan's room. When she reached the door, after looking around for watching eyes, she knelt down and inspected the letter she wrote. After taking a deep breath she slid it under the door. She stood up and was about to walk away when she heard the door open up. She turned around to find Yuma standing in the door way, holding Pagan's letter in her hand.
"Who the hell are you?" Yuma yelled.
Ishwari opened her mouth to speak, but fear prevented her from doing so. She managed to look past Yuma to see Pagan, who was watching, wide eyed, mouth slightly open, and unsure what was happening.
"Well, can't you give me an answer? What are you doing slipping this garbage into my brother's room? Yuma began walking towards Ishwari "Is this some kind of love letter? Do you honestly think King Min cares about whatever you have written in this? How dare you try and waste my brother's valuable time!"
"I asked her to bring it."
Yuma whipped around to look at Pagan. "Brother?" she said confused.
The tall, well dressed man began walking towards his adopted sister. "I asked her to bring it." He looked down at the note she had clenched in her hand. "If you don't mind, I believe that has my name on it." He held out his hand, waiting for Yuma to give what belonged to him. Once it was rightfully in his hand he turned to Ishwari, showing no emotion of any sort on his face. "Thank you for dropping it off." He then shut the door, leaving Ishwari standing in the hallway alone, fighting back the tears that wanted to come out.
Chapter 13
She returned to her work area to finish her job, remaining emotional while doing it. Yuma's attitude and the words she said made her feel like she wasn't worthy of the kings attention. He came from a wealthy family, traveled the world, attended expensive schools. He lives a very different life from the one she lives. He has no idea what it's like to grow up in poverty, sew his own clothes, hunt for his own food, walk to a nearby creek to fetch water every time he wanted to bathe. Everything he wanted in life was handed to him, while she had to work for what little she did have. She began to regret writing the letter containing her true feelings for him, knowing that she made a fool out of herself.
She some how managed to finish up her work, despite her emotions. She met up with Shanna ready to head back, and her friend quickly noticed that she had been crying. She began questioning Ishwari, asking what had happened, but Ishwari really wasn't up to talk about it. They began walking through the hallways to exit the palace, walking pass Pagan's room. There was a lot of yelling coming from inside between Pagan and his sister, and Ishwari couldn't help but stop and listen to what was being said.
"It all makes sense now! The past few meetings we've had with potential clients, you were off in your own little world! It's like you're not even in the room! I couldn't understand what was going on, but now it's all clear!" Yuma shouted furiously.
"I don't see how what I do with my personal life involves you!"
"It does involve me Pagan! Everything you have, your army, your kingdom, your throne, everything I helped you get! We worked so hard, and we built this together, and I'll be damned if I let it fall apart!"
"How is she going to make everything fall apart!? Please enlighten me, because I'd really like to know!"
"Can't you see?! It's already falling apart! You're changing, you're becoming softer! You're just too blind to see it!"
"You have no idea what you're talking about! I'm still the same man I was when we took this country!"
"No! You're not! I can't understand you! She's just some whore, just like all the others you've been with, so why don't you just fuck her and toss her aside like you usually do?"
"Don't you call her that! Don't you DARE call her that!"
It was then Ishwari felt the touch of Shanna's hand. She looked over at her friend who had a look of sympathy on her face. "Come on, let's head home. You shouldn't listen into other peoples conversations. Ishwari reluctantly nodded and began to follow her out of the palace. when they reached the cabin, she stopped and just looked at it. She didn't want to be there. She didn't want to be at the palace. She didn't want to be in Kyrat. She just wanted to leave and disappear.
Eventually night arrived and she sat in her bed staring down at her sleeping son, who looked so peaceful. Sometime's she wished she was young again, never having to worry about the complicities of life. She let out a deep sigh and looked over at Shanna, who was sitting in her bed, writing in a journal. "I think I'm going to go out for a walk. I just need to clear my mind. Would you listen out for Ajay for me?"
Shanna looked up from her journal. "Of course. Do what you need to do."
With her permission, Ishwari stood up and slipped on her shoes heading out the door. The air was crisp and cool, and the only light what that of the moon. It was quiet out and that was exactly what she needed. She began walking down the path towards the palace, lost in her thoughts. She stepped into the courtyard, where the gazebo stood on the night she spent with Pagan. Every little detail replayed in her head. He made her feel so comfortable, as if she had known him forever.
She then walked around to the far side of the palace where Pagan had lead her. She looked out at all the lights, taking in the sound of the flowing water. It was hard to believe that a land that was so calm at night, would be filled with gunshots and acts of war by day. She took in another deep breath and turned around to head back up to the cabin. She became very startled when she found that Pagan was behind her, watching her.
"What are you doing?" she asked him.
"Taking in the view, just like you are." He looked distressed. "You seem to enjoy this spot. I'm glad I showed it to you." He began walking in her direction, walking pass her and staring off into the distance. "When I have a lot on mind, I come out here and just listen. Sometimes silence can be the only friend you need."
"Do you have a lot on your mind right now?" She inquested, looking at him from behind."
"More than you can imagine." He turned to face her.
"It's all because of me." She said, not looking away from him.
"This is where I'm supposed to say "No it's not you, it's me.", but I won't, because the truth is, it is because of you. I'm not mad at you for it though." He walked towards her, closing the gap between them, and looked at her intensely. "You make me feel something I've never felt before. I've been with countless women...and a few men in my lifetime, and I have always known what to do, like it was instinct. But then I meet you and I have no idea how I'm supposed to act. I can't focus, I can't think, I can't sleep, I just can't get you out of my mind. You're all I think about every second of every day."
"Pagan..." She whispered his name, his words making her fall even more in love with him.
"To answer your question. Yes. I am crazy about you. I've never been more crazy about one person in my life." He rested his hand on her cheek and pulled her in for a kiss, and she felt even happier than she did the first time their lips touched.
When he pulled away from her, she looked him in the eyes "Pagan, I'm so sorry for all the trouble I've caused you."
With his hand he pushed the bangs out of her eyes "Don't be. You are worth all the trouble I may go through." He leaned in for another kiss, this time running his hand through her hair, kissing her even more passionately. She placed her hands on the outline of his jaw, just beside his ears, and he lowered his hands to her waist. His breath became heavier and he began sliding his hands under her shirt, feeling her soft skin. She threw her head back at his touch, and he used that opportunity to place kisses on her neck.
She opened her eyes, realizing that they were still standing outside. She grabbed his arms, pulling on them until he moved them back outside of her shirt. "We can't do this here."
He held on to one of her hands and brought it up to his face, kissing it and then placing it on his cheek, closing his eyes as he did. "Do you want this?"
"I want this." she answered, truly meaning it.
He opened his eyes to look at her. "Okay" without saying another word he held her hand tightly, leading her towards the palace and once inside, he pulled her in the direction of his chambers. He opened the door to the room that they first met in, letting them inside and shutting it behind them. He instantly grabbed a hold of her, pulling her close, as if he was doing everything to control himself since they left the yard. He started kissing her roughly, pushing her up against his desk, knocking off a few books in the process.
She began unbuttoning the purple blazer he had on, taking it off and dropping it on the floor. Now wearing only his white dress shirt and suit pants, he picked her up and started walking towards the wooden doors on the other side of his office, still kissing her while doing so. He opened the doors, revealing his bedroom that was most definitely fit of a king. He walked across the huge room and laid her on his king sized bed, putting himself on top of her, and continuing with the kissing.
While he was busy with that, Ishwari unbuckled his belt pulling it loose. She grabbed his shirt and pulled it out of his pants in which it was neatly tucked in, pulling it all the way off. Noticing he was already halfway undressed, he grabbed a hold of her shirt and pulled it up over her head, leaving nothing but a bra covering her torso. He moved closer to her and started kissing her chest, while he undid her bra. Tossing it to the side, he let the cool air hit her breasts, as he began to rub her nipple, whilst taking the other in his mouth.
"Pagan wait..."
He immediately stopped what he was doing and looked up at her concerned. "Am I hurting you?"
She inhaled, taking a deep breath. "No, you're amazing, it's just I breast feed Ajay and I'm afraid if you suck on me like that..."
He cut her off. "I understand. Don't worry, I'll be gentle, I promise."
He went back to focusing his attention to her breasts, gently rubbing and nipping at them. He grabbed a hold of her pants while doing so and pulled them off, leaving her completely exposed. It was then he started tracing her body with his hand, moving his fingertips down between her thighs, rubbing her womanhood with his middle finger. Once he received a few good moans out of her, he re-positioned his hand, sliding his index and middle finger inside of her, continuing to rub her clit with his thumb. She began to moan louder, reaching her hand around his shoulder, burying it in his hair. He raised his head up, to watch her, enjoying the face full of pleasure he was causing her to make.
Between the moans, she managed to speak. "Pagan, I want you. Please, don't make me wait anymore."
He obliged her wish and sat up on his knees, unbuttoning his pants and pulling them off, revealing his already hard member, which was far from small. He started positioning himself on top of her, and Ishwari closed her eyes, waiting for him to enter her. When he didn't, she opened them to see why. She looked up at him to find him staring, with a look of doubt, almost as if he was having second thoughts.
"Is everything alright?"
He continued watching her, not saying a word.
"Pagan?" She said, becoming worried.
"I've never done this before." He finally answered back.
His words were confusing to her. He was just telling her a few moments ago that he had been with countless people, and now he was saying that this is all new to him. "Sex?" Ishwari asked in hopes to clear up the confusion.
"No, not that. I've had sex before. I've had so much sex. It's just that every time I have engaged in intercourse, it was solely for pleasure. They'd come, I'd have my way with them, then they would leave. I've never did it for the passion of it before, and I've never been so nervous about doing it. I just want to make sure I do it right."
"So far you've been doing it right. You've hit and worked all the right spots to the point my head is spinning. If you keep up what you've been doing, I can guarantee I won't be disappointed. Just stick to what you know." she reassured him.
"Very well, but if I start to get to rough, or I start hurting you, I want you to tell me. Okay?"
Ishwari nodded and reached up to touch his cheek. "Okay"
He nodded, then proceeded to move himself, so he could grab a hold of his penis and guide it toward her entrance. He started with the tip, letting her get used to it, before slowly sliding the rest of him into her as deep as he could go. She gasped at the feel of him inside of her, clenching the pillow she laid her head on. Her breathing became more rapid, when he started with small shallow thrusts, afraid of going to fast to soon.
Ishwari loved the way he was making her feel, but soon grew tired of his gentleness. "Harder"
He obeyed her command and pulled almost completely out, before pushing back in with as much force as possible. The loud moan that escaped her mouth and the scratches she was placing down his back let him know he was in the right. He repeated, and then repeated again. Soon he was combining his force with a faster pace. His moans became mixed with hers and he started shouting things out in his primary language of chinese. Ishwari couldn't understand a word he was saying, but the way the words rolled off his lips, she could tell they were full of lust.
He managed to keep up his amazing work for a good while, before letting out one loud moan of ecstasy from reaching his climax. His fast, hard pace slowed down and he rode his orgasm out inside of her. He eased himself down, to lay on top of her, catching his breath, before sliding himself out of her and falling to lay next to her. Ishwari too, was breathing hard, being exhausted from the orgasm she had herself. She turned her head to look at Pagan, who seemed to be falling asleep.
"Wo ai ni"
"What does that mean?" Ishwari asked him curiously
Pagan's eyes slowly began to close "I love you"
Ishwari watched as he fell asleep and she lightly kissed him, before drifting off herself.
Chapter 14
Daylight had just begun shining through the windows in the master bedroom, Ishwari opened her eyes, looking around the unfamiliar room. She sat up, yawning, before remembering that she left her son with Shanna, who was now most likely upset with her for not returning. She looked over to her left, at the still sleeping Pagan, who had a mellow expression on his face.
As she looked at him, something snapped inside of her and she started crying. Here this man poured his heart out to her. He spoke to her last night as if it took everything he had to tell her his true feelings. He trusted her. He respected her, and he treated her like a queen. He looked at her as if she was the only woman in the world.
All she did in return was lie. Yes, she did care about Pagan, and she couldn't deny that, but he had no idea who he was really falling for. He had no idea that he had just slept with a spy who is married to the leader of the terrorist group he had been fighting since he came into power. She began thinking about her husband, who, even though didn't know it yet, was betrayed by his wife. Mohan was the man who had loved and provided for her and their son for over nine years. Now she was naked in another mans bed, completely love struck with him.
"Did you sleep well?" Pagan spoke, smiling as he slowly opened his eyes. He quickly sat up, putting his arm around her when he saw tears running down her cheek. "Ishwari? What's wrong?"
Her tears began falling even harder, hearing the concern for her in his voice that she did not deserve. "I'm in love with you."
"I'm glad to hear that, but there's no need to cry about it." he said, letting out a small laugh and using his thumb to wipe a tear off her cheek.
"I'm sorry Pagan. I'm so sorry."
He raised an eyebrow. "For what? Being in love with me?"
She shook her head. "No. For not being who I say I am."
"Ishwari, what are you talking about?" he looked at her anxious.
"My name is Ishwari Ghale. I am the wife of Mohan Ghale, the founder of the Golden Path. I was sent here to spy on you, in hopes of gaining some kind of knowledge that would help remove you from the throne."
The concern on his face turned to surprise, and then to anger. "Get out..."
"Pagan, I..."
"GET OUT!" he shouted, completely enraged.
She obeyed, getting out of his bed and picking up her clothes from the floor. She walked though the wooden doors leading into his office, closing them behind her. She dressed herself in that room, before walking out of the hallway heading towards the exit. She reached the door leading outside and Shanna was just coming in, with Ajay strapped to her back.
She looked as if she was about to yell at Ishwari for leaving her stuck with a baby, but stopped when she saw Ishwari sobbing. She grabbed Ishwari pulling her to the side. "What happened? Why didn't you come back last night?"
"I have to leave. I can't stay here." Ishwari said, retrieving her son from Shanna's back.
"Where are you going to go?" Shanna questioned her.
"I'm going back home."
"Ishwari, the only way out of here is going through the fortress at the end of the road. There's no way you'll make it through there. All the men down there are nothing but pigs, they'll take you and won't let you go.
"I have to try. Thank you so much for everything you've done for me." Ishwari, walked away heading up to the cabin long enough to grab her belongings, and then proceeding down the road towards the fortress. Her mind was overwhelmed with feelings and thoughts. If she made it out of there and back to Mohan, she wasn't sure how she would tell him that she failed her mission because she slept with Pagan. Then she thought that maybe it be best that she didn't tell him. She didn't want to hurt him too. She didn't want to have to see the same hurt that Pagan had on his face when she told him the truth.
It took her about an hour to finally reach the end of the long road that lead down from the palace. There was a shack next to the entrance of the fortress in which a guard sat in a chair reading some kind of magazine. He must have heard the gravel shifting beneath her feet as she walked, looking up from his magazine at her.
"I need to go through." She boldly told him.
He stood up, showing he was much taller. "May I ask what for?"
"I've finished my work at the palace and I just wish to go back to my village."
"Alright follow me." He motioned her with his hand as he walked and opened the red door leading into the back part of the fortress. He lead her over to another guard and told him that she was wanting to leave. The second guard looked over at her and a smirk grew on his face. The previous guard turned back to Ishwari and pointed at his friend. "He'll take you the rest of the way out."
Ishwari nodded with a bad feeling in her gut. "Thank you." she said as she started walking behind the new guard. She followed him down the only path through the fortress for a while before the guard stopped at one of the many buildings "We have to go inside here first. There's protocol to be taken care of before you can leave."
Ishwari felt fear begin to build up inside of her, but she obeyed, knowing that she would most likely be shot down if she tried to run. She climbed the steps and went through the small door just as the guard had instructed her to do. The moment she stepped inside, someone grabbed a hold of her and slammed her into the wall. She gasped for breath, after having the wind knocked out of her, looking up to see at least three men in the room with her. The collision with the wall caused Ajay to start screaming.
"Oh, I can't handle a screaming baby!" one of the guards yelled. "Get it out of here!"
Another guard walked up to her, grabbing Ajay off of her back and Ishwari ran at him, fighting with all her might to prevent the man from taking her son. The struggle was in vain though, when one of the men hit her across the face as hard as he could, knocking her to the floor. With blood now dripping from her lip, she began screaming for her child.
"Please, bring him back to me! Don't hurt him! Give me my baby back!"
Her yelling came to an end with another hit to the face. Through the haze, she managed to look up at the man who hit her. He knelt down and wrapped his hands around her throat, pushing her up against the wall. "If you shut up and do as we tell you, we might give your son back."
With tears running down her face, she nodded.
A smile grew on his face. "Good. I'm glad we understand each other." He released his grip that was around her neck and moved his hands up to her head, grabbing a clump of her hair, pulling her up to her feet. He walked her over to the corner of the room, where there sat a couch. He sat down on it, pushing her to her knees in front of them. Leaning back, he began to undo his pants, pulling out his dick. "Put it in your mouth."
Ishwari looked up at the horrible man, still sobbing. "Please, don't"
Her disobedience earned her another hard slap to the face. "Don't you want to see your son again? Put it in your mouth."
Ishwari swallowed her fear. Closing her eyes, she pushed it into her mouth. The guard, still holding a clump of her hair, shoved her head down, causing her to gag.
"That's a good girl, now move your head up and down." She obeyed knowing no good would come if she didn't. He began moaning "Don't forget to use that tongue of yours."
The noises he was producing, was making her feel sick to her stomach. She didn't want any of this. She never asked for any of this. The next thing she knew she was knocked backwards. She looked up to notice that the horrible man was on his feet, quickly shoving himself back in his pants.
"King Min!" The guard said frightened.
Ishwari looked over towards the door to see Pagan standing by it, his face filled with anger.
"Is this what you do in your free time?" He began walking over to his soldier.
"I didn't know you were coming." The guard replied, his voice raspy with fear.
"Ah, I see. So this is only something you do when you're not expecting me." Pagan reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a small knife. "You make me sick." Without any hesitation, he buried the knife into the bottom of the guards jaw, causing him to fall to the floor, bleeding out. Pagan threw the knife to the side, making it slide across the floor. He then turned around and looked at the other two men in the room, before looking down at Ishwari, who was still laying on the ground. He knelt down and scooped her up into his arms. Ishwari instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face into his shoulder, still crying.
Pagan turned and walked out of the building, where there were two heavily armored soldiers. "Kill them" he said, signaling for them to dispose of the remaining men in the room.
Ishwari raised her head, ignoring the gun fire that was now in the background. "Pagan, they took Ajay. They have my baby."
"Don't worry, he's safe." Pagan said, staring straight ahead. She buried her face back into his shoulder, until they reached a small black car. Pagan opened the door and sat her down in the back seat. Ishwari, looked to the front of the car to see Shanna in the passenger seat, holding young Ajay. Pagan then walked around to the other side of the vehicle, climbing into the back seat with Ishwari. "We're finished here." Pagan told the driver, and they began making their way back towards the palace.
