So today have been a long and scary day. (For all of us I think.) There's a war in Europe. Ever since I woke up this morning the television have been on, showing news update after news update. Only a couple of countries away from me, there's a war. Every other war or fight like this either started before I was born or when I was too young to understand. (Guess this now proofs that I'm no longer a child.) Today the world was turned upside down and we are once again reminded about how we have no idea of what the future brings. Or how tomorrow is gonna be. It's scary and cause for unease to have all this happening so close by. And to know only Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania and Poland stand geographically between Denmark and Russia. Even though I do believe the danish government, when they say there's no real threat to us.

So yeah crazy and scary day, therefore I think we all could use a little cheer up. So here's my attempt at making your day a little easier. I've hadn't have the time to read it through myself, so there might be mistakes or parts that don't make sense, if that's the case please let me know.

Chapter 6

Jason studied his rookie, Clay was fast asleep. Jason had intended to talk with the Kid today, had promised it. Life had other plans it seemed, or at least the upper brass had.

Early that morning they'd been sent on an OP, even though it was in full sunlight. They were told it wasn't gonna take too long, but when they finally got back it was beyond late. And they had kinda ended up destroying a helo, along with two humvee's. Don't ask how, cause Jason really didn't have a clue, as to how that happened, unfortunately some jackass cakeeater had decided to do just that.

When Jason finally was able to get back to Bravo quarters, his men were all asleep.

Jason had intended to get some sleep too, when he'd heard a small whimper. He'd instantly frozen, gaze sweeping the room, looking for the origin of the sound.

His gaze settled on the Kid, who was lying on his back. Clay was completely still. No thrashing, no screaming, fighting or yelling. Nothing but the occasional whimper, yet Jason's heart sunk. Their Kid had a nightmare. Jason weren't sure how he knew, he just did. Call it father instinct, if you want.

Jason had slowly and carefully, approached his sleeping rookie. Sitting on the bed beside the sleeping Clay, he'd carefully reached out a hand and placed it on top of the Kid's hair. Jason ran a hand through Clay's hair, while he studied his rookie. Clay may not have given any physical indication, to show he had a nightmare. Yet when he felt Bravo One's soothing hand on his head, it was clear. In Jason's presence he unmistakably relaxed. All tension left him and he sank into the mattress.

Jason chuckled lightly, as he felt a slight pressure against his hand. The Kid was subconsciously leaning into his touch.

As he sat there, Jason could feel the warmth in his heart. His whole being was filled, with love and affection towards his rookie. He couldn't help but smile. The Kid had no idea about how much his brothers loved him. How much they were willing to do for him. How far they'd walk. They would do anything just to make their little brother laugh, Jason included.

As he sat there, fingers combing through his teammate's hair, he couldn't imagine a world without Clay. He didn't understand how he, how Bravo team had survived without their Kid. It wasn't that long ago, when Jason couldn't even stand looking at the cocky, arrogant, annoying young blonde. Jason shook his head. How could he ever have despised someone so loving, self sacrificing and loyal as the Kid. His kid.

He was pulled out of his thoughts, when he heard movement in the other end of the room. Looking back he saw Ray. Of course. His best friend moved to the door, opening it with a gesture indicating to Jason, that his brother wanted to see him outside.

For a moment Jason contemplated to stay, where he was. He was tired and in a bad mood, but most of all he didn't want to leave the Kid. Clay looked so carefree and calm when he was asleep. Those few hours a day when their kid brother slept, might be the only times he didn't looked weighed down by the fate of the world. Jason knew that in this moment Clay was safe and relaxed, without any worries. But tomorrow when he woke his light blue eyes would again be darkened, broad shoulders would sag again, muscles tense, body always ready to fight, senses on guard, mind constantly processing, contemplating and planning, lips drawn and jaw tightened. Tomorrow all Clay's fears and worries would be back. Tomorrow his mind would again be running a thousand miles per second, trying to figure out how to save the word. How to protect everyone. And Jason didn't want that. For now he just wanted to sit here, watching his kid, his brothers all safe and then tomorrow they could worry about the future.

"Ahem"

Jason looked back at Ray, his 2IC raised a brow at him. Sighing Jason got up, Ray wasn't about to let him be.

At the door Jason looked back over his shoulder at the sleeping Bravo Six. When he was sure the Kid was still fast asleep he walked out the door, closely followed by Ray.

OXO

"What!" Jason asked gruffly, as he sat down in one of the camp chairs. He looked at Ray, sitting in the chair beside him.

"I want to talk." Ray as always stayed unfazed. He knew that he was one of very few, people, whom in most situations could calm down and/or control one Master Chief Jason Hayes. And that was why he always felt obligated to tell Jason what nobody else had the courage to do. Which also meant he had the great honor of sometimes having to lecture his team leader. And oh how he loved those conversations.

"Wow. Hadn't figured that one out Ray. Though for sure you just wanted to keep me from my much needed sleep."

Ray just smiled at Jason's attitude, responding back with his own.

"The great Jason Hayes admitting to needing sleep. That ones new."

"Drop the sarcasm, Ray." Jason reached out and lightly punched Ray's leg.

"Only if you do it, too."

"You do realize that I'm the one supposed to be giving orders around here, right?"

"Yeah."

"Then why the fuck do I always end up doing as you say?"

"Because your supposed to be giving orders, I'm supposed to be the voice of reason, preventing you from ending up in too much trouble." Ray stated matter of factly.

Jason raised an eyebrow.

"Only 'too much trouble?'"

"Hey what can I say, I don't do miracles." Ray held both hands up in surrender and they both chuckled.

"I know what your gonna say Ray." Jason sighed. He rubbed both hands over his face, rested his elbows on his knees, interlocked his fingers behind his head and looked down at the dusty ground.

"And what am I going to say, Jace?"

"That I reacted wrong. Should learn to control myself better. That it ain't the kids fault. That if I ever hurt him again you're gonna make me regret it."

"Sure I was gonna say that. But also that you should know something is bothering him. I can see it eating away at him."

"I know. Had planned to talk to him about it today, life kinda got in the way."

"It often does." Ray paused when Jason snorted. "You and him gonna talk next chance you get?"

"Yep."

"And if that chance first is in a month?"

"It won't be."

"Why not?"

Still with elbows on knees and hands folded behind his neck, Jason turned his head and looked at his 2IC.

"Because you won't allow me to wait that long."

"Guess your right."

"Don't worry Ray, I'll speak to him when he wakes."

Bravo Two just slowly nodded his head.

"You know nows usually the time I lecture you about what you did wrong and why it can't happen again."

"Yeah, I know. You don't have to tonight. I already know everything your gonna say."

Ray snorted.

"Probably. Well then I'm just going to go get some sleep." Ray punched Jason lightly on the arm and got up. When he reach the barrack door, he turned and looked at his still seated friend. "You coming?" He arched a brow, even though it was too dark for Jason to see.

Jason sighed and got up.

OXO

"KID."

The tell caught Clay's ears and unwillingly he stopped running. Breathing heavily, he bent forward, supporting his hands on his thighs. When he had his breathing somewhat under control, he straightened up and turned around.

"What do you want now, Jason." Clay asked rudely. To rudely, even to his own ears. Jason could see the Kid wince and regret his impudence, already before Jason had a chance to chastise him. That weren't gonna stop Jason, though. He folded his arms over his chest, arched a brow and fixed his youngest team member with a discontented gaze. His entire body posture conveying how unimpressed he was.

Jason's body language only, made Clay wince harder.

"You wanna try that again?" Jason's voice was a mix between his 'dad voice' and his Master Chief voice.

Looking like a scolded child, Clay replied.

"Sorry, Boss. Didn't mean to, just kinda happened, you know." Clay looked Jason in the eye, for a whole half minute, before looking away. "I'm sorry, what I meant to say was. What can I help you with, now."

Clay weren't fully able to lose the attitude. Even though Clay's attitude really annoyed Jason most of the time, he saw it as what it was. A deflection. So he did his best to ignore it, knowing now was the wrong time to pick a fight with the Kid.

"Where you've been all morning?" Jason changed the subject.

"Running." Clay looked at a spot over Jason's left shoulder.

Jason whistled in an impressed manor.

"All morning. Jeez Kid that's some of a run."

Shrugging his shoulders Clay said.

"What can I say, have to stay sharp before I'll end up old and out of from like the rest of you guys." Bravo six smirked cheeky, but Jason also saw the tension in Clay's body.

"Oh, and here I've been going 'round all morning, thinking you were avoiding me." Jason said as he nonchalantly strolled closer to Clay. Stopping beside the Kid, Jason draped an arm around his shoulders. "But if you've just been working out all morning, then you're not to busy for us to have that conversation I'm owing you. Right?"

"Nah, Jase. Still a couple of miles from my goal. So if you don't mind, I would like to get going." Clay tried and failed to squirm out of Bravo one's hold. Jason just tightened his grip on Clay.

Jason leaned in bringing his mouth close to Clay's ear. He used that caring mixed with playful and threatening voice, he resevered only for his brothers, to whisper in Clay's ear.

"Oh, but I really do mind." Clay couldn't help but wince at Jason's tone of voice. He hated that tone. It didn't matter if the voice was used on him or one of his brothers, when he heard it he couldn't help but tense up and be wary of his team leader. It was on those occasions that Clay could feel the unease and fear of Jason, move around in his stomach. That tone of voice always raised red flags, it was a warning, and when used nobody ever knew what Jason was gonna do next.

Jason felt Clay tense up and it was almost impossible to not sense his unease. Jason was satisfied he seemed to have gotten his point through to Clay, but he also felt a pang of guilt. The Kid shouldn't have to feel unease or unsafe around a teammate. Jason quickly and far too easily pushed the guilty feeling away. After soon twenty years in the Navy he was used to people treading on eggshells around him. Some were intimidated by his size others knew him by rumor or personally and knew he wasn't one you should mess with. He was so used to scaring people that he didn't really notice it anymore. Didn't make it hurt any less, when he once in a while did notice, though.

He smiled reassuringly and gently squeezed Clay's shoulders.

"Com'n Kid. It's to hot for more workout and Trent's gonna skin both of us, if you'd get dehydrated or sunstroke. Let's talk in the shadow somewhere. Beside what's the point in me punishing you with hills, if your always running anyway." He grinned, trying to lighten the mood.

Clay huffed reluctantly letting Jason lead him away. They sat down at a bench in the shadow of the barracks.

"What do you want Jay." Clay was still defensive in tone and body language.

"I want you to tell me whatever it is, that's been bugging you the last couple of weeks." Jason leaned back. Relaxing in the far too hot Afghan weather.

Clay opened his mouth to answer but got interrupted by team leader.

"No point in lying Kid. I'd know it if you do." He would and they both knew it, so Clay choose to go for the truth.

"It's Stella."

"She mad at you."

"No." Clay shook his head. He was unsure about how to say the next part. Taking on a deep breath he continued. No point in delaying. Yet he was unable to form the right words. "It's just... that we'd... you know..."

"Easy. Take it slow." Jason said, placing a calming hand on Clay's upper arm.

Clay nodded, trying to swallow the lump in his throat he continued again. "It's just that Stella and I, we...we broke... well she... she broke up... with me."

"I'm so sorry Kid." Jason tried and failed to tilt his head, in a way that would allow him to look into Clay's downcast gaze. "I really am."

"Why?" The younger man shrugged his shoulders. "You didn't even like her."

"No. No I didn't and I still don't, but you did and that's all that matters to me."

Clay huffed.

"I did more then like her Jace, I loved her. A lot." Clay ran a hand over his face. "Hell I still do. I love her boss, with every part of my being."

As Clay looked up and into his eyes, Jason had to suppress a wince. The Kid's eyes were filled with pain and despair. He looked more lost then Jason had ever seen him before. Well except for the days after Brian died.

"I'm sorry, Kid."

Clay just shrugged before looking down at his hands.

"She was my first love. You probably didn't know that?"

"No, I didn't. Makes it all so much harder." Jason had always dreaded the the conversation he was bound to have the day one of his kids would get their heart broken for the first time. He'd just never imagine his first parent/child conversation about the topic would be with his rookie. What is even the point in adopting a grown man of you still don't avoid the awkward teenage conversations. Jason thought to himself grumpily with a hint of humor.

"She wasn't just my first love, Boss." Clay was now making a point to not look him in the eyes. Jason couldn't blame him, the embarrassment and awkwardness was thick in the air around them. "She was my first everything. First love, first relationship, first serious date, first real kiss." Clay ran a hand through his blond curls. "Hell, she was even my first time making love. In Liberia..." Clay trailed of, unsure of how to explain it.

"You don't have to explain anything, Clay. I understand if you want to keep it private." Jason said reassuringly, placing a grounding hand on Clays forearm.

Clay appreciated the touch. He vigorously shook his head.

"No, I want to tell you. I've never really told anyone, but I'm more then ready to finally share it with somebody. To have someone listening. Will you please be that person, Jason." Clay looked up at Jason with those blue puppy eyes he never were able to resist.

Jason gave clipped nod.

"What ever you need."

"Thanks, Boss."

Clay took a couple of calming breaths while trying to find the best words to explain it all. It weren't easy to put words to the things you'd kept deep inside you for so long.

"In Liberia I didn't really fit in, obviously, I just weren't the kind of person the girls would look after in the street. And if they did, they already knew their families would never accept it. So I didn't even get to have a summer fling. When I came back to the US, everything was so new and different and the only thing on my mind was the teams. I was so focused about becoming a SEAL I didn't have the time to anything else. Well that were the story I told myself anyway and it really were true at first, I was to busy with BUD/S. When I made team 3 I just kept telling myself a girl would be a waste of time. I think in reality it just scared me to my much. I didn't like to be touch and I was so afraid to have a connection to another living being. To become attached, opening up, being depended upon another person. You have to understand up until Brian nobody had stayed, nobody had been trustworthy. And the whole thing about trusting Brian was so new and scary in itself. It was so so scary. And then there were the whole thing about sleeping in the same bed. To have to close your eyes and just hope the other person didn't decide to slit your throat, it was a kind of faith I just didn't have in anybody out of the teams. Hell half the time I didn't even trust them that much."

"With your past Clay nobody can blame you for feeling that way. It's okay to be suspicious and needing time to adjust."

"I know. It's just, it's more then that. It's the sex too. The way of being so intimate. I know it scares everyone the first time, that it's normal. And I did have sex before Stella. A couple one night stand. For those girls I was just someone to warm their bed, a toy. And I guess that's bad but all I've ever been able to focus on was the pain. The guys on team 3, for them fucking was so normal, so natural, all I wanted was to fit in. I was willing to do almost anything if it made me like the rest of the guys, made me normal, even if it was painful and unpleasant. Those women only thought of them self's. Their touch weren't nice, it was all to painful and rough, I didn't like having my back scratches open or being choked. Didn't like any of it. Brain saw what I did, he understood I didn't like sex. He sat me down explained to me that there's a different between making love and fucking. That what I was doing wasn't the thing for me. That I should stop, that sex didn't make me more like the guys and that I shouldn't let those women exploit me. He told he it was okay to wait, that I didn't have to be intimate with another person until I was ready and had met the right person. He explained to me that there contrary to popular belief were no shame in waiting. That it was okay to take it at my own pace."

"He was right." Jason had stopped counting the times he'd regretted he never got the chance to meet Brian Armstrong. He would have loved to have Armstrong's guidance to figure out Clay. But Jason weren't a fool he knew that if Brian had been alive and heard about what had happened between Clay and him the other day, the young Petty Officer wouldn't have hesitated to kick Jason's ass. "He sounded like he was good for you."

"He was. He just always understood what went on in my mind, even on the occasions were I didn't. I know it sounds naive and wide-eyed but Brian somehow always knew what was best for me. Always. Even when I disagreed, he always showed out to be right. Ironically he was the first I ever came to a parent. Don't get me wrong you, Adam and Ray along the rest of the guys, I guess are all sometimes kinda like parents to me. But Brian was the first, the first one to care. The first one to tell me how to act. Not to be so arrogant or cocky. He was the first to lecture me and correct my behavior. Even though we were practically the same age, he was the first thing I ever had to a parent."

"He shouldn't have been. Don't get me wrong," Jason added as he felt Clay tense up beside him. "I'm more then glad that you had him. It's just that your first best friend shouldn't also have to be your first parent figure. It wasn't fair to him or to you. There shouldn't have been that strain on your bond. But there was and we can't change that now, I'm just grateful you at least had somebody."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. With all of it, I guess." Clay squirmed around it his seat.

A tell sign Jason quickly picked up on.

"What is it?"

"It's just that... that the last thing Brian said to me was, that he liked Stella and not to screw it up. I said I wouldn't but here I am having screwed it all up." Clay looked lost and ashamed and yet again Jason found himself wondering how his own heart wasn't completely broken for the Kid.

"Maybe it's for the best. Her breaking up I mean." Jason slung an arm around Clay's shoulders.

"How can that be for the best?"

"You said it yourself, Stella was your first love. That means Stella is all you've ever known. I believe it would be good for you to see what else the world has to offer. To experience other relationships. To unconditionally give your heart and life to the first person you ever date, that isn't healthy Clay. And Brian would understand that. You didn't fail him."

"But... but she was the one Jase." Clay protested.

"How can you know she the one, if you've never known anything else? Anyone else?" Jason starred at looked at the younger SEAL intensely. Waiting to see if his point was understood.

"You married Alana. She was your first love." It didn't seem like the Kid was gonna give up without a fight.

And to think his quick brain and stubbornness are two of my favorite parts of him.

"Yeah, she was and look how that turned out." Jason playfully bumped his shoulder into Clay's. "Kid, I'm serious. Love at first sight is good and there's nothing wrong in marrying ones high school sweetheart or first love, as long as both of you know how other relationships like. Alana and I, we broke up and found back to each other more times than I can count."

"You think Stella and I are gonna find back together one day?" Clay looked up at Jason, eyes full of hope and naivety.

"I don't know, Kid, I don't know. But I do know your gonna find love someday I'm not saying Stella aren't the one. I'm just saying that she's not the one right now. Maybe someday in the future the two of you will meet again. Maybe when that happens she's gonna be the one. You're both young. Stellas not completely done with schools yet and your career has only just truly begun. Sometimes lovers meet and they're completely perfect for each other, they just meet at wrong time, that's all."

"So you do think there's a chance that we find back together?"

"That weren't what I said, Kid." Jason couldn't help but feel a little frustrated with his surrogate son.

"Then what are you saying." Clay was almost accusing now.

"I'm saying there's a chance, but only a chance that now's not the time or place for you and Stella."

"And were's the difference?"

"One day your gonna understand." Jason ran a hand over his face, this was more difficult than he had ever imagined. Seeing Clay's facial expressions and knowing a new fight was on the way, he quickly tried to dodge the bullet. "Listen Clay I know it's confusing and I know it hurts but all you can do is to move on. Time will give you the answers, I can't give. All I know is that someday your gonna find the love of your life. And whether that's gonna be Stella or someone else, I know your gonna be happy and love them more than anything else."

"You sure?" Clay asked with big anxious puppy eyes.

"100%" The answer came immediately and without any sign of hesitation or doubt.

Clay looked questioning into the older mans unwavering gaze.

"How can you know that?"

"Because you are one of the most caring and loving men in the world. Yes, it might take sometime but when you first learn to trust someone, you give them everything. Every fiber of your being, everything. Your kindhearted and willing to sacrifice everything for the people you love, and someday your gonna meet a girl who appreciates that." Jason said. He meant every word but he also saw how the praise made Clay uneasy. Incredible he can even get anymore uneasy. So Jason decided to try and lighten the mood a little. "Besides look at you, there's a lot of women at home, who's gonna be thrilled to hear, your single. At some point your bound to find one to grow old with."

"I hope your right." Clay still sounded discouraged and lost but there was also a hint of hope in his voice. "It doesn't mean I miss Stella any less, though."

"I know, Kid." Jason gently squeezed his rookies neck. "But your gonna be just fine in the end."

"Don't I always?" And there was that cocky smirk and sassy tone, that Jason had come to both hate and love.

"Even a cat only has nine lives." Jason joked, making sure to keep his rookie's ego grounded. "But then again they also say curiosity killed the cat but here you are, giving me a headache and making me wonder how your not dead yet."

"Ha ha. Very funny, Jace." The sarcasm was impossible to misunderstand.

They sat in silence for awhile. Watching as Sonny, Trent and Brock, along with Cerberus came out from their barrack, to throw a football around.

They seemed to have fun, throwing the ball back and forward to each other, while Cerb darted happily between them, trying to intercept the ball.

"We good?" Jason finally asked, reaching out a fist.

"We're good." Clay answered, bumping Jason's fist. He looked longingly over at his brothers, totally unaware of the weight, he just took of his team leader's shoulders.

"Good. Now go play with your brothers." Jason ordered, motioning towards the others. The blond man happily obliged and ran towards the game.

Jason leaned back and looked on as the guys welcomed their younger brother with smiles and laughs.

Ray approached his team leader.

"The two of you talked out?" Ray asked placing a foot on the bench and handing him a bottle of water

Jason nodded, accepted the water and taking a sip before he placed it beside him on the bench. He leaned back again with his hands behind his head.

"He's gonna be okay?"

Jason looked at his best friend and then at their rookie.

"Yeah, in time he's gonna be just fine." He said, looking on as Sonny tackled Clay, making them both fall to the ground. He laughed as Cerberus came running over and jumping up on the both of them.

With all the stiffness of a body that have survive things no human body should, Jason stood up and stretched his back.

"Cmon Ray let's teach them how to do it right." Jason slapped his friend on the shoulder and together they made their way towards the rest of their brothers.

Jason playfully shoving at Ray, as both of them chuckled.

And that's the end of Nobody's fault.

Hope you can forgive me the cheesiness, along with he sugar sweet ending. Thought we all needed something sweet and innocent to night.

I hope you all are safe and in somewhat good spirit.

Remember there are all ways some organizations to contact if depressed or scared.

Please let me know if you liked the fic. (And maybe even how your day was? I would love to know.)

Love, puppies and sun rays ;)

-Lost for the world to reach

I've corrected a few mistakes with the help of the sweet Gelar26. Thank you very much;)

Edit: So I've only gotten a little feedback on this last chapter. I hope it's because non of you've had time, words or energy to comment and that it's not because you haven't read it, didn't like it, or in any other way are unhappy with it.

Cause personally I'm really proud. First finished fanfiction, which also means first not school related more then one chapter finished story. And then I'm also just proud of this chapter, I really like it myself and I honestly think it's the one of the best I've ever written.

So I'm gonna stay positive and assume that you're reading it. Thanks.

Love ;)