Brave
Chapter 10 – The Kissing Bridge

Richie awoke to bright morning sunshine streaming through the windows. At first, he squinted his eyes and started to turn away from it, but when he realized where he was, he stopped.

Holy shit, he was in bed with Eddie fucking Kaspbrak. They had fallen asleep in each other's arms last night after Richie had had his nightmare, and their limbs were still tangled together. Eddie was on his back and Richie was curled up on his side around him. One of Richie's legs was settled in between Eddie's, his arm was slung over Eddie's chest, and his head was pillowed on Eddie's shoulder.

Eddie, meanwhile, was sprawled across the mattress. One arm was flung up over the pillows while the one trapped underneath Richie was stretched out to the side. Eddie was still sound asleep, his face completely relaxed and serene in a way that Richie had never seen before, not even when he had been sleeping in the hospital.

God, he was beautiful and Richie wanted to make it his life's mission to see Eddie like this every single morning. Richie couldn't even fucking believe that out of all the people in the world, Eddie wanted to lie there with him. Wanted to have a life with him. With all the hellraising he'd done, Richie still must have done something very right with his life to have ended up here. With the one thing he wanted most in the world.

Just then, Richie's stomach gave a loud grumble of protest. A quick glance at the clock on the bedside table over Eddie's head told him that it was nearly nine o'clock, so they hadn't eaten anything in well over fifteen hours. Jesus. Richie hadn't even been planning on sleeping through the night since they had fallen asleep so early, but there was something about being in Eddie's arms that made him ridiculously calm and relaxed. Richie couldn't even believe that he hadn't woken up again after his nightmare. Just…something was suddenly so very right.

Richie let out a contented sigh before he placed a quick kiss on Eddie's cheek. Eddie still didn't stir, and Richie was glad, because he needed the rest. Only the soft rise and fall of Eddie's chest gave an indication that the man was still breathing, so Richie would leave him for now.

"I'll be back," Richie whispered, carefully getting out of bed. He grabbed his glasses from the bedside table and put them on before throwing on a pair of sweatpants. He unceremoniously shoved his feet into his sneakers before he grabbed the room key and quietly let himself out into the hall.

Before he even made it to the ground floor, Richie could hear Beverly and Ben's soft conversation drifting up the stairs to him. They were seated at the bar, drinking coffee and eating muffins.

The inn offered a free continental breakfast every morning, although this was Richie's first time that he would actually eat it, considering he slept at the hospital every night with Eddie. Richie was grateful for it now though; he and Eddie could eat a little something now and then get a bigger meal a little bit later. Richie only hoped that there would be something for Eddie considering his apparent food allergies.

"Oh my god, he lives," Ben said, giving Richie a knowing smile over the top of his coffee cup.

Beverly turned around in her seat, her face lighting up when she saw Richie. "It looks like you got some sleep," she said, placing a soft hand on Richie's arm when he plopped down into the chair next to her.

"I did," Richie said around a yawn, running a hand through his hair. He reached for a mug on bar, filling it with coffee from a steaming pot and dumping three heaping spoonfuls of sugar in it. "I actually didn't realize how sleep-deprived I was after all those nights in the hospital."

"Come on," Ben said. "You've been looking like the walking dead, dude."

"I always look like the walking dead," Richie disagreed. "I told you, you two look amazing, and I'm not sure what the fuck happened to me." He snorted and said, "Eddie told me I need to eat better and start exercising."

"Wouldn't hurt," Ben agreed. "How do you think I lost all that weight? I started eating salads like there was no tomorrow and I started running."

"What is it with you two and running?" Richie asked, sipping at his steaming coffee. "Eddie does too. Has a treadmill at home."

"I run outside," Ben told him. "I went out for the track team when I left Derry and it kind of went from there. The fresh air is better for your respiratory function."

Richie hummed in thought. "I should suggest that to Eddie – running outdoors. He'd probably like it better than running in a stuffy room all the time."

"How is Eddie?" Beverly asked next, taking another bite of her muffin.

Richie took a few more sips of his coffee before setting it down on the bar. "He's still sleeping. I thought I'd let him rest, but I think he's okay. Mostly glad to be out of the hospital." Richie paused for a moment, reaching for a bagel on a platter. "He's a bit self-conscious about his scar," Richie said, motioning to his chest. "It took a while, but he finally let me change his bandages last night. I just hope it isn't something that's going to affect his self-confidence in the long run, because god knows he's had enough of that."

Ben finished his bite of muffin before he said, "You know what helps? Let him know you acknowledge it, and then be the same asshole you've always been." Ben winked at Richie over the top of Bev's head.

"Yeah," Richie said, giving Ben a grateful smile. "That's what I tried to do." Richie stared down into his coffee cup and sighed. "I just hope I made him realize that it's not going to change how I feel about him."

Bev placed a hand over one of Richie's, giving it a quick squeeze. "He's lucky to have you," she said warmly.

"Not half as lucky as I am," Richie said, almost without even thinking about it. The words were out of his mouth before he had even processed them, and he could feel his cheeks burning red. Being with Eddie had gotten so comfortable in the last few weeks, especially with James knowing about them, and in his happiness, Richie had almost forgotten to be discreet about it.

Neither Ben nor Bev said anything, so Richie cleared his throat just for the noise. Richie then busied himself with slathering a couple bagels with cream cheese (extra for his better half), and stirring cream into a cup of coffee for Eddie.

"I'm going to get this up to Eddie," Richie said, placing the plates and mugs on a tray. He kept bumping the plates together and making ridiculous amounts of noise, because his hands were shaking. "We haven't eaten since he got out of the hospital, so I imagine he'll be fucking starving."

Still, neither Ben nor Bev spoke; they only watched him, and Richie wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or not.

Richie was on his feet a moment later, hoping that he wouldn't trip up the stairs on the way to Eddie's room. Richie could hear Bev murmuring something to Ben behind him, although Richie couldn't make out what it was. Richie wasn't sure he even wanted to know what she'd said.

Jesus Christ, why was he such an idiot?

Just before Richie put his key into the keyhole with a shaking hand, he could hear Eddie's slightly panicked voice calling to him from the other side of the door.

"Rich? Richie?"

This made Richie forget about his previous conversation with Ben and Bev completely. Richie quickly turned the key and pushed the door open. "I'm right here," Richie told him. "I just went down to get us some breakfast." He lifted up the tray for Eddie to see.

"Oh, fuck," Eddie muttered around a gasp for air. "I didn't know where you went." Eddie suddenly grimaced in pain, and Richie realized his injuries must have roared to life this morning.

Richie hurriedly set the tray and the room key on the dresser before he asked, "Do you need your pain meds?"

"Please," Eddie sobbed.

Eddie's hands were clenched into fists, balling up the sheets underneath them. His shoulders and arms looked tight and strained again, and Richie just wished that he could take that tenseness out of Eddie forever, just like he had last night.

"In through your nose, out through your mouth," Richie reminded him.

"Yeah," Eddie gasped out, then deliberately followed Richie's instructions for a moment. "I needed the sleep, because the hospital is a shit place for that, but I haven't had any painkillers since I was released yesterday. I should have taken some last night when we woke up."

"I'm sorry," Richie apologized, quickly reaching for the bottle in Eddie's bag. "I should have thought to remind you. And I should have told you where I was going before I left the room." Richie opened the pill bottle, carefully spilling one out into the cap. He knew better than to touch the pill with his own hand before he gave it to Eddie.

"It's fine," Eddie replied around another measured breath. "I just…didn't know where you were." Eddie diverted his eyes away from Richie, frowning deeply as he stared across the room.

"Hey," Richie said, making his way around the bed to Eddie's side. He reached his arm underneath Eddie's shoulders, lifting him up gingerly so he could tip the pill back into Eddie's mouth. Once he set Eddie back down on his pillows, Richie closed the pill bottle and set it down on the bedside table.

"You really didn't think I up and left, did you?" Richie asked, genuinely dumbfounded. "Without a word to you?" He couldn't think of a stupider decision he could have made. The love of his life fucking wanted to be with him, and he certainly wasn't about to give that up now that he had it.

"I…I don't know," Eddie mumbled, still not meeting Richie's eyes, but focusing on his breathing.

"Eds…" Richie began, but then he stopped again. He made his way to the other side of the bed, toeing off his shoes as he went, because he knew better than to put dirty shoes on the bed with Eddie around. Richie climbed into the bed, careful not to jostle Eddie too much. Richie faced him, propping his head up in one of his hands.

"Might I remind you that I asked you to come to LA with me last night?" Richie asked him, reaching for one of Eddie's hands. "And you said yes. You do remember that, don't you?"

"Yeah. Of course I do," Eddie whispered. "I just…I don't know." He stared down at where Richie was holding his hand tightly. "This seems too good to be true, you know? I've wanted nothing but you for so long and I…kind of woke up expecting it to have all been a dream. Especially when you weren't here." He frowned deeply again.

"Believe me," Richie said, gripping Eddie's hand tighter, "I want you just as much. Aside from the nightmare, last night was the best night's sleep I've had in…I don't even know how long. Just being in your arms. Tell me I'm wrong."

Eddie shook his head. "You're not wrong."

"And I know it's hard to believe," Richie said, "because I have to keep reminding myself that it's real too. But fuck, I'm not going to just up and leave you. I know I'm a jackass, but I'm not that much of a jackass. Do give me some credit."

Eddie's expression immediately softened. "Rich, I'm sorry," he said around a sigh. "I didn't mean it like that. I know you wouldn't do that. Just…fuck. Shit this good doesn't happen to me, you know? I'm so used to people like Myra, and my mother, and…you're so far removed from them it's scary." Eddie finally met Richie's eyes again and smiled deeply up at him. "And I mean that in a totally good way."

"I fucking hope so." Richie pulled his hand out of Eddie's grasp, and then placed it on Eddie's cheek. "And I fucking love you so much." He shook his head firmly. "I'm not going anywhere, Eds. Not now that I have you, so get used to it."

Eddie leaned his cheek into Richie's touch, placing his own hand on top of Richie's. "I love you," Eddie whispered back.

It then occurred to Richie that he had made a promise to Eddie in the hospital, and he couldn't think of a better time to keep it. "Do you feel up to taking a trip today?" Richie asked hopefully.

Eddie's frown was back. "I…I don't know. Once my pain meds kick in and as long as it's not far, I guess."

"It's not. Just on the other side of town."

"I guess," Eddie said again. "Why? Where are you taking me?"

"You'll see," Richie said, placing a quick kiss to Eddie's lips before climbing off the bed. "But you need some sustenance first." He made his way over to the dresser, grabbing the cup of coffee he made for Eddie and the bagel piled with cream cheese. He brought it over to Eddie's bedside table where he set it down.

Eddie eyed it carefully. "You remembered how I take my coffee and bagels?"

Richie laughed. "How could I forget?"

"I don't think it's a good idea for me to have a bagel right now, though," Eddie said regretfully. "Having that Big Mac last night was already pushing it."

"Jesus, you act like I don't know you at all," Richie said. He placed a hand over his heart and rolled his eyes, trying to act hurt. "They had a gluten free option. Hard to believe in a place like this, I know. Seems they're a bit fancier than these lovely rooms would suggest."

Eddie snorted.

"And I remembered you like a little bagel with your cream cheese," Richie said.

"The cream cheese is the best part!"

"Can you sit up?"

"I…I think so."

Richie placed his arm under Eddie's shoulders again, gently lifting him up. Eddie grimaced as he went, but he otherwise didn't make a sound. When Eddie was sitting up straight, Richie restacked and fluffed the pillows behind him, then he helped Eddie move back until he was leaning comfortably up against them.

Richie gently sat down on the edge of the bed, then handed Eddie his coffee first. "Your hot, creamy bean water," Richie told him.

Eddie laughed, taking the warm mug in his hands. "And I assume you still take yours with fifty million scoops of sugar."

"It's three."

"Still gross." Eddie frowned as he took a sip from his cup. "I don't know how you can drink something so sweet."

"At least it's better than just coffee and cream. It's fucking bitter as shit, man."

"Besides," Eddie said, taking another sip of coffee, "don't think you need anymore sugar cause you're kind of already sweet enough."

Richie blinked at him, feeling like a complete and total dumbass. It almost seemed like something in his mind had short-circuited, because he felt like running around the room and screaming like a total lunatic. Or something. He wasn't entirely sure, because on the other hand, it almost felt like the floor had dropped out from underneath him entirely. Richie had only dreamed of Eddie telling him such things, and he wasn't quite sure if he'd ever get used to this shit.

"That was really fucking sappy," Richie said instead when his found his voice.

Eddie set the coffee mug down in his lap, keeping his hands wrapped around it and staring down at it intently. "I know," Eddie whispered. "But…I feel like you're doing so much for me, and you don't have to, you know." Eddie glanced up at Richie. "What the hell would I be doing right now if you weren't here to help me? I'm sure the others would have helped me, but…I told you, I couldn't imagine letting anyone else see my scar. Except you. And then you bring me breakfast and-"

"And I love you," Richie interrupted him gently around a smile. "I know no else in your life did, but this is how I choose to show it."

"In between asshole jokes about my dead mother and just being an all-around dickhead."

"You fucking love it," Richie said smugly. He leaned forward, capturing Eddie's lips in a kiss.

When Eddie pulled away, he grabbed the front of Richie's t-shirt with his free hand. "I fucking love you," he said before pulling Richie back in for a deeper kiss.

Richie moaned, seeking out Eddie's mouth with his tongue. A moment later, Richie laid his hand over Eddie's chest, tracing where he thought the scar ran from the upper right all the way down to his abs.

Eddie made a sound somewhere between a groan and a sob. He broke the kiss a moment later, but then laid his head on Richie's shoulder. He didn't say anything else, and he didn't need to.


After they had finished their breakfast and got cleaned up, Richie and Eddie were on their way across town in Richie's bright red convertible.

"Won't you tell me where we're going?" Eddie asked, staring out the window at the passing scenery.

"If you don't remember, I'm not going to tell you."

Eddie glanced back at him quickly. "So you've told me before?"

Richie hummed in agreement, not taking his eyes off the road. "I told you while you were sleeping."

Blinking at him in confusion, Eddie replied, "You said a lot of fucking things while I was sleeping. It kind of all got overshadowed when you said you loved me though. I…have a hard time remembering anything else. I was on so many pain meds, I'm lucky I remember that much."

"At least you remember the most important thing," Richie said. He glanced at Eddie briefly, reaching out his right hand, firmly grasping Eddie's in his. They threaded their fingers together while Richie returned his eyes to the road. "It'll be a nice surprise."

Eddie didn't say anything else, but rubbed his thumb along Richie's as they drove.

When Richie stopped the car, Eddie stared out the window at their destination. He looked like he was trying to remember some long-buried memory, but he couldn't quite get there. His frown was so deep, Richie almost thought he might be hurting himself with the concentration.

Richie got out of the car and came around to Eddie's side. When he opened the door, he slid his arm behind Eddie's shoulders, helping him turn in his seat and climb to his feet.

"Remember yet?" Richie asked, staring down into Eddie's eyes.

"I…" Eddie began, but then he paused. His eyes trailed off to the side, along the boards of the Kissing Bridge. He still appeared to be confused and lost in thought.

"Come on," Richie said. He took one of Eddie's hands in his and gently led him a few feet past the front of the car.

"Rich…"

When Richie stopped, he turned to face Eddie and said, "I've wanted to show you this for twenty-seven goddamn years." He paused, swallowed hard, and stared down at the ground between them before he went on. "I thought it was a secret I was going to have to keep for the rest of my life. I planned on keeping it for the rest of my life. Because even if you didn't feel the same way, I was convinced that you'd hate me." When Richie raised his eyes to Eddie's again, he could feel the tears escaping them. "I never imagined that we'd be here together and that I'd actually be showing you."

"Showing me what?" Eddie's voice was far away, like he was still straining to remember some long-lost memory.

Richie lifted Eddie's hand, bringing it up to the board of the bridge just in front of them. He pressed Eddie's fingers into the carving he had made nearly three decades ago: R+E.

"This," Richie said simply, glancing back up at Eddie again.

Eddie stared at it long and hard, unblinking and swallowing several times. He didn't seem like he understood what was happening, and for a brief moment, Richie was afraid that Eddie might have taken one too many pain pills that morning, even though he knew he hadn't.

"Eds?" Richie asked, concern flooding his voice. "Please say something, because you're scaring the hell out of me."

A moment later, Eddie smiled, raising his eyes to Richie's. "Sorry," Eddie said, his smile growing wider. "I can't fucking believe I forgot this. I didn't remember until just now, but…you're not the only one."

It was perhaps the largest smile that Richie had seen on Eddie's face since they had returned to Derry, and it was something that Richie wanted to see there all the time. But still, he didn't quite understand what Eddie was telling him.

"What do you mean?"

"Rich," Eddie said warmly. It was his turn to take Richie's hand in his, guiding it down to the board just below the one where Richie had carved their initials. Eddie laid Richie's fingers over a heart carved into the old and weathered wood with the letter R inside.

"I told you," Eddie said. "We've both been pining over each other for twenty-seven stupid years."

It felt like all the air had been knocked out of Richie's lungs. He sort of wished he had his own fucking inhaler, because he was suddenly finding it hard to breathe. He took his own advice of breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth before he gathered himself enough to ask, "When? When did you do this?"

"The Halloween after we fought It," Eddie answered. "Remember we had that dance at school?"


The Losers had all decided to go to the dance as a group, since none of them had dates. So Eddie thought it was pretty fucking stupid for Richie to get a date at the last minute. April McFucker or whatever the hell her name was had run up to Richie in school the day before, asking him in a rush and blushing furiously. Richie had only shrugged and said, "Sure."

"We agreed to go as a group," Eddie snapped at him as they made their way to the school the next evening. "I didn't know it was the Losers plus one."

"It's just a stupid Halloween dance," Richie said nonchalantly, shrugging. "Who cares? And she was so excited. Didn't want to let her down." Richie grinned at him, and Eddie wanted to fucking punch him.

Eddie wasn't even entirely sure why he was so upset, but he couldn't keep his hands from clenching into fists at his sides. Maybe it was the way Richie brushed it off like it was nothing. Maybe it was the way Richie was suddenly acting like a ladies' man when he very clearly wasn't. But Eddie was pretty sure it was because he was dressed like the goddamned Joker.

Richie in his stupid purple suit and the stupid-looking mask with the green hair made him look even more ridiculous than he normally did, but Eddie still didn't know why it got under his skin so much. It was just stupid.

Maybe it was also because Eddie's mother didn't really approve of Halloween and wouldn't buy him a proper costume. Eddie just ended up wearing a pair of blue jeans and a red sweater, and he borrowed the Freddy Krueger mask that Richie had worn the year before. It was a half-assed costume and Eddie didn't even care anymore, the mask hanging limply from his clenched fingers.

When they got to the school, the Losers made their way over to the snack table. It was dark in the gymnasium, and Eddie didn't really feel up to picking through the food for something he could actually eat, so he sat down with the rest of the unpopular kids who didn't have anyone to dance with. It was like sitting on Reject Row and Eddie wondered why he even subjected himself to this shit. He could be at home watching stupid sitcoms with his mom instead.

And never before in his life had Eddie wished to be home with his mother, so what the hell was wrong with him? Eddie just knew that the music was too loud, the few spotlights in the gymnasium were too bright, flashing in and out of sequence in ugly and garish colors like red and blue. All of it made Eddie's head hurt. This was supposed to be a fun night, their first real celebration after defeating It, so why was Eddie so insistent on being miserable?

The other Losers were standing around the snack table, eating and laughing, not even seeming to notice that Eddie wasn't among them. Perhaps it was because his place had been taken by April McFucker, dressed all in black with a pair of cat ears on. Her costume was even more half-assed than Eddie's, and that was saying something.

April had one of her arms looped around Richie's and she kept laughing at everything Richie said. Richie wasn't even that funny, so Eddie didn't know who she was trying to fool. Richie seemed to be reveling in it though, lapping up the attention that was she was laying thickly upon him.

Eddie wondered if anyone would even notice if he slipped out and went home, because this was the stupidest night he could remember having in a long time. Maybe even worse than when they had fought It. He wasn't sure. What the hell was he even doing here? Playing third wheel to the couple that Richie suddenly seemed to be a part of? This wasn't what this was supposed to be like. Eddie should have been there next to Richie, telling him how dumb his jokes were instead of giggling like an idiot.

Eddie was nearly about to get up and leave when the loud rock song on the stereo changed to a slow series of sad-sounding opening chords. It was a song that Eddie knew well, one that he had heard time and time again on the radio – Angel of the Morning by Juice Newton.

A moment later, April was pulling Richie into the center of the gymnasium, wrapping her arms around his neck for their first slow dance as a couple.

Eddie felt like he wanted to throw up. He could feel that burning in his throat, his eyes tearing up at the sensation. Before the first verse of the song was over, Eddie was on his feet, tearing out of the gymnasium, and towards the front doors of the school. He barely made it to the sidewalk outside before he lost the contents of his stomach, the remains of his mother's meatloaf and potatoes splattering to the concrete.


"You were jealous!" Richie said around a snicker. "You were so jealous of April you made yourself sick! And it was April McGregor, not McFucker, asshole."

"I never understood why you agreed to go out with her in the first place," Eddie said indignantly, a ghost of the burning feeling rising up in his esophagus at the thought. "You never talked to her before or since."

"Yeah, she tried," Richie sighed. "There were no sparks obviously. She just laughed at my jokes." Richie frowned, trying to remember everything that had happened between him and the girl he had barely even spoken to. He shrugged. "You know, I was already pretty sure I was gay. Bowers seemed convinced of that fact anyway, so I figured it would help to try and cover it up."

"Weren't you already hung up on me too?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah," Richie whispered. "I told you, I thought this was so far out of the realm of possibilities, I figured it didn't matter." Richie paused, catching his bottom lip in his teeth before he said, "I'm sorry if I hurt you. I never would have went with her if I knew it would upset you so much."

Eddie leaned into Richie grip, letting his head rest against Richie's shoulder. "You didn't know," Eddie told him. "Besides, it wasn't like we could have gone to the dance together anyway."

"No," Richie said regretfully. He sidestepped so that he was behind Eddie, wrapping his arms around him from behind. "But I still wouldn't have gone with her if I had known, because I was far too crazy about you." He hummed as Eddie leaned his head back against his shoulder. "If only we had figured this shit out sooner."

"And you know what's really fucked up?"

"Hm?"

"Pennywise knew about that song," Eddie said, suddenly drawing a sharp breath. "Angel of the Morning? When that leper threw up on me at the pharmacy…I could hear that fucking song in my ears." He gasped for breath again, closing his eyes tightly against the memory. "It fucking knew that song would make me feel sick to my stomach, like getting thrown up on didn't already do that."

"Breathe," Richie told him, running a gentle hand up and down Eddie's chest. "The fucking space clown is dead. For real this time. He can't fuck with us like that anymore."

Richie could feel Eddie's chest shaking with every breath in and out, and Richie only hoped that his words and his touch could soothe Eddie's harsh breathing like they had so many times before. Richie didn't even know if Eddie realized how long it had been since he had used an inhaler, but it hadn't been since they had been down in the sewers. Just before Eddie had dropped his extra inhaler into the fire to burn it, he had used it for the very last time. They had had him on oxygen during most of his stay in the hospital, and Richie had been successful in talking Eddie down every time he seemed to be on the verge of another attack. Eddie still carried an inhaler in his pocket, but his first instinct was to try and breathe through it now instead of reaching in his pocket. Goddamn, but Richie was proud of him.

"Yeah," Eddie agreed. He grimaced as he took one last shuddering breath, relaxing back against Richie again. Richie could see him swallowing several times, probably against the feeling that his memories had stirred up.

"Just so you know, I did my carving before we fought It," Richie said, pointing to the boards in front of them. He couldn't keep the triumphant note from his voice. "I win."

Eddie gently and playfully elbowed Richie in the ribs. "It's not a competition, you fucking idiot."

"The R+E would have been there already when you carved the heart," Richie said wistfully. "It didn't occur to you…?"

Eddie snorted and shook his head. "No. To be honest, I'm not sure if I even noticed it. I came here the morning after the dance. I was still feeling sick to my stomach, and I was so consumed with jealously, I doubt I was even thinking straight. I was probably looking for an R+A anyway, because I was pretty convinced that you two were deeply in love or something."

"Never," Richie whispered, pressing a kiss to the spot just behind Eddie's ear. He felt Eddie shiver against him. Richie filed that bit of information away for later as he added, "It's only ever been you."

Eddie turned his head, kissing Richie's neck in return. "For me too."

"So you don't remember what else I told you in the hospital about this?"

Eddie looked at Richie out of the corner of his eye, then he shook his head. "I told you, I don't remember much of anything other than you telling me you loved me. Nothing else seemed important after that."

Richie momentarily tightened his grip around Eddie's middle, still careful not to squeeze too hard. "I said that if you ever got out of the hospital, and if you didn't hate my guts completely, that'd I'd bring you here to recarve our initials. I just didn't know that we'd be recarving a cute little R in a heart that you did."

"Can we?"

"Yeah," Richie said, relinquishing his hold on Eddie and digging his pocket knife out of his pants. He opened it, waiting for Eddie to rest his own hand on top of his. They entwined a couple of their fingers together over the handle of the blade, then they retraced the letters they carved into the board so very long ago. Twenty-seven years ago, both of their hearts hurting and pining for something that they didn't know they could even have. For something the other had wanted just as badly.

When they were done, it was Eddie's turn to dig in his own pocket for something. At first, Richie thought he was searching for his inhaler, except he wasn't even breathing hard. A moment later, he withdrew a small object that Richie had to lean in to see.

Eddie opened his palm, revealing the golden wedding band that up until his stay in the hospital, he had been wearing on his finger. The doctors had obviously removed it when he had been brought in, and it hadn't even occurred to Richie what had happened to it. Until now.

"I was waiting for the right spot to do this at," Eddie said. He drew his hand back as far as he could given his current injuries, then flung the ring as far as it would go. It sailed over the railing of the bridge, over where their initials were carved, then it hit a few of the crispy red and orange leaves on the trees before it tumbled down towards the river and out of sight.

Richie couldn't help the grin that spread over his features, even as he said, "Myra is going to kill you."

Eddie shrugged. "She's going to kill me anyway. What's the difference?" Eddie turned back to face Richie again, his hands going up to Richie's chest. He wrapped his hands in the front of Richie's sweatshirt before he said decisively, "This is our beginning. Not hers. I…want you to know that I want this…as much as you do."

"I know," Richie whispered, leaning forward and kissing Eddie deeply. But then something occurred to Richie and he pulled away, pulling his phone from his pocket. "What was that song? Angel of the Morning, right?"

"Oh, Jesus Christ, Richie," Eddie suddenly pleaded, his eyes going wide. "Please don't. Not if you don't want me to toss my breakfast on the bridge." He placed a hand over his mouth and turned away.

"Pennywise is gone," Richie reminded him. He stepped up behind Eddie, placing his free hand on his shoulder. "There won't be anymore lepers puking on you. And I have no idea where April McGregor is, but I promise I won't be dancing with her again either." Richie paused, typing his name of the song into his phone. "I…kind of wanted to dance to it with you." He swallowed hard, suddenly not sure if he was pushing Eddie too far or not. He wanted to give Eddie a reason to like the song, to help erase the bad memories of it in his mind. "If…if that's okay. But if I'm being stupid…just tell me, okay? Because I can still be stupid sometimes."

"You're stupid all the fucking time," Eddie bit back, turning to face Richie again, his expression softening. Richie could hear and see him swallowing as Eddie stared at the phone in Richie's hand. "It's just a song, right? And I'm braver than I think."

"Ridiculously brave," Richie agreed, leaning forward to kiss Eddie's forehead.

"It's just a song," Eddie repeated. Then he asked, "You want it to be our song? Because that's kind of fucked up. Just for the simple fact that I was getting puked on by a leper the last time I heard it. It was blasting in my ears like he had it in surround sound."

"It's fucked up that we fought that fucking space clown at all," Richie told him. "It's fucked up that you associate this song with me and a girl I shared one dance with and never talked to again."

Eddie's eyes were looking up at him, wide and searching. "You…only danced with her once?"

"Yeah," Richie said, shrugging. "I told you, no sparks. She…she even tried to kiss me while we were dancing, and I wouldn't let her." Richie scrunched up his face at the thought. "I didn't know if she was going to try and slip me the tongue or what, but just the thought of it kind of made me feel sick to my stomach." It was Richie's turn to shiver before he added, "I never wanted to kiss anyone but you."

Eddie smiled, glancing down at the phone in Richie's hand. "Play it then."

"Are…are you sure?" Richie asked uncertainly. "I would never do anything to hurt you and…I'd never forgive myself if this did."

"Yeah," Eddie said, placing a warm hand atop Richie's. "Let's make it a good song for both of us, okay?"

"You're not going to puke, are you?"

"No. No, I'm good." Eddie took a deep breath before he added, "I probably would have if you'd played it when you first wanted to, but I think I'm accustomed enough to the idea now. Play it."

Richie paused momentarily before his tapped his phone, the beginning chords of Angel of the Morning starting to play. He suddenly wasn't sure it was such a good idea, because Eddie's eyes clenched shut and he muttered, "Oh, fuck me."

Richie quickly set his phone down on the hood of his car, reaching out for Eddie a moment later. He took Eddie in his arms, wrapping them around his back tightly. "It's me," Richie reminded him. "Not a clown, not a leper, and not April McFucker either."

Eddie let out a soft breath of laughter against the front of Richie's shirt, relaxing into his arms. He tucked his head underneath Richie's chin, and it wasn't so much a dance as it was them just holding onto each as tightly as they had the night before after Richie's nightmare.

"You know," Richie said after the lyrics had started, "the first line of this song is rather fitting for you."

"'There'll be no strings to bind your hands, not if my love can't bind your heart'?" Eddie asked softly into Richie's shirt.

"Yeah," Richie replied. He pulled away slightly so that he could look down at Eddie. He reached up a hand to Eddie's chin, directed Eddie's gaze up towards his. "Don't ever let anyone or anything bind you ever again, okay?" he asked, shaking his head. "Not even my love. You've had enough of that, and that's not what I want from you."

Eddie sighed, wrapping his arms around Richie and squeezing tightly. "Why are you so good to me?" Eddie asked. The question was so quiet, Richie barely heard it.

"Because I love you," Richie told him. "And I've waited twenty-seven years for this. I'm not going to do anything to fuck this up." He took a moment to wrap his own arms around Eddie, running his fingers up and down the path of the scar on his back. Richie didn't quite know why he was so compelled to keep doing that, but he hoped that would, in some small way, convince Eddie that nothing about the scar was disgusting to him. That he loved all of Eddie and a scar didn't make one bit of difference.

"I know this isn't what love has been for you in the past," Richie said sadly. "It's been about control for you and…don't ever let me do that to you, okay? I don't think I'm capable of doing that, because I love you so much, but I don't ever want you to resent me like you resent your mother and Myra. So if you ever think I'm overstepping my bounds, just tell me to back the fuck off. I promise you won't hurt my feelings."

Richie could hear the smile in Eddie's voice as he said, "I will." Eddie laughed again then and said, "That's another thing I love about you. You won't lock yourself in the bathroom and cry for an hour because I tell you you're being a goddamned idiot."

"I am a goddamned idiot," Richie agreed. "It took me twenty-seven years to realize we were both pining over each other."

"So that makes me an idiot too."

"As long as we're idiots together."

The smile was still present in Eddie's voice when he repeated, "Together."

It was ridiculous, the fact that they were there on the Kissing Bridge together, "dancing" to a song that once only held bad memories for Eddie. That held memories of dancing with a girl of all things for Richie. They were standing next to letters they had once carved into the weathered wooden boards with broken hearts, sure that they'd never have the one person they wanted more than anything in the world. And now here they were, like they were the only two people in the world.

Richie didn't know if he'd ever get used to that idea, but he hoped he never would.

To be continued…

Author's note: I listened to Angel of the Morning on stupid fucking repeat for three months (as one does) while I tried to think of a logical reason why it would have been playing during the pharmacy scene. I know it was a stupid gag that lasted a couple seconds, except it wasn't. This is what these movies have done to me. So there you have it, three months of plotting with an 80s song on repeat has led to this. No regrets.