WARNING: for Coarse Language at end of chapter.
I wake with a groan, I sense that something is different this morning. I don't feel my mother's presence in the house. We have this strange ability to sense each other in time and space, she is not here; I don't mind, not really. I hear the loud ringing of the doorbell repeatedly echo around the stone walls. I can see the silhouette of a tall figure…no two tall figures on the other side.
I slowly open the heavy door and I see Carlisle and Bella. "Good morning Hazel" he says with a kind smile. I silently nod in greeting. I am looking at Bella she is very sad. Like a heartbroken sad. My stupid heart aches.
I feel the sound of our Volkswagen camper van drive down the street and I see my mother get out carrying groceries. "Good morning Marsella," Carlisle says as he leaves Bella's side to go and help my mother with groceries.
Bella and I stand in awkward silence, everything she does is awkward. She toes the doormat with her black converse staring at the ground with her dull eyes. I stare at her with my arms crossed. I glance up from the miserable human in front of me and see my mother and Carlisle in a heated discussion.
"We just got here Carlisle to see you, and now you are leaving. Typical," she mutters. "I need help with my daughter and you just up and leave. I was a fool thinking you have changed!" she hisses to him. Our front yard is encased in sadness. A thick grey grey sadness. Carlisle looks so broken more then Bella in front of me.
"My family is in danger Marsella," he tells her with a voice that is thick with emotion. To my ears it sounds like he talking through layers of mucous. Green sticky mucous. Do vampires have mucous? I think with a shrug.
"Well maybe you should have thought of that before letting your son run around with a human," my mother bites out.
I can't help a smile pull at my lips. I want to jump up and down with a loud cheer but a choking sound from Bella distracts me from my internal celebration. I can clearly see that she is not okay. "Aren't you going with them?" I ask.
"No," Bella says in a broken whisper.
"What are you doing here then?" I ask.
My answer is a shrug of silence and another toe prod to the doormat. I sigh, "Hazel?" my mother asks.
I look up at her and I feel my lips turn up in a smile at her titled head of long light brown hair and bright burgundy eyes full of love for me. "Yes," I ask.
"Bring Bella inside and make some tea for Carlisle do you know the one I am talking about?" I nod, of course I do. "You can make a lavender and ginger to for Bella and yourself if you like."
"Ok," I say before walking inside and into our kitchen that reminds me of a square. The floor is covered in black and white tiles, there is a light blue carpet by the sink where we do dishes. There is also a wooden island in the middle separating the stove and oven from the sink. My favourite part of the kitchen in the far centre of the kitchen where the bay window is and our breakfast and tea table overlooking the garden. I love this window and the view it overlooks, it reminds me of a dream. It is a window that beckons the viewer for a closer look, and when you get close enough you get pulled into a whole new world. I get pulled into a world of darkness and light I an surrounded by welcoming shadows when I visit it. Shadows of the seasons past and the seasons to come.
I open the refrigerator and grab the bag of blood. I can hear Bella's gagging sound she has her pale hand covering her mouth. Honestly, I will never know why she was attracted to a vampire in the first place. She cannot even stand the sight of blood. I warm the porcelain pan on the gas stove. I hate this stove it feels too modern. More than that I hate being watched by a boring human.
"Is that…?" Bella chokes out.
"Yes," I answer. "What? You have never seen a bag of blood before?"
"No," Bella says with a head shake, "Not like that," she says as she covers her mouth once more. I now know why my mother told me to make the lavender and ginger tea. I pour the crimson liquid out of the transparent container and into the pan on the stove.
"Where did you get it?" Bella asks.
"It's my mother's," I reply with such ease that I surprise myself.
"Your mother's? But I thought that she was...a vampire too," Bella observes.
"She is and she isn't," I cryptically reply as I open the herb closet and retrieve the fresh ginger from the small wicker basket and the black jar that is labeled Lavender in colour coded lavender ink. I roll my eyes at my mother's organizational skills before I blush and remember that it was me who did that. I flick the switch of the glass kettle on and hear the electric kettle buzz to life, it is too loud.
I hear my mother and Carlisle loudly enter the kitchen still hissing venomously to each other in whispers. I am too distracted to hear what they are saying. I am dizzy. "Carlisle," my mother exhaustively sighs.
"Please Marsella, it is for her own safety," he tells her with deep conviction.
"What about our safety?" my mother asks.
"You are safe," he simply states. "They don't know about you," he cryptically replies.
"Maybe not," she says. "But they do know about Bella," she adds.
"They do," Carlisle gravely says.
"Your choices are once again putting me in danger, I don't like it!" my mother exclaims.
"How was turning Esme and Edward putting us in danger?" he asks.
"Because you turned them without their consent, they were too sick to understand what was happening around THEM," my mother roars.
I roll my eyes at the century old argument and I turn towards Bella and am flooded with a feeling of curiosity. "Stay out of it," I hiss.
"But it sounds so interesting," she whines.
I roll my eyes, "Trust me it's not. Anyway, it's none of your business," I mutter.
"I can make it my business," she murmurs.
"Like you did with Edward," I reply with a very proud smirk on my face watching rage that is dusting red splotches on Bella's pale skin. Her brown eyes are alighted with fury. Good.
"Don't say his name," she says with a clear voice. A voice that I did not think she was capable of.
"I won't say his name if you stay out of their business," I propose. "Deal?"
"Deal."
"Good," I hear myself distractedly murmur as I wash and cut the ginger. I put it in the mauve pottery teapot with a bat sculpted on the lid. I toss two tablespoons of lavender in the purple cavern of steaming water. The final step is the yellow tea cozy on top. I carry the tea pot and cast iron trivet to the living room. I go back into the kitchen being followed by Bella.
"Can I help?" she asks.
"Sure," my mother says. "In the cupboard right beside the toaster there is a set of pottery teacups choose whatever one you like dear and bring two more one more into the living room." She does as she was instructed and I stir the blood in the pot. The scarlet liquid simmers and bubbles over the steady blue flame. The blood starts to boil and splats little red dots all across the pan that looks like miniature red suns all across a cloudy sky filled with white clouds. I turn off the heat not wanting the warm life force to stick to the bottom and burn.
I pour the steaming elixir into two light green pottery cups, "Thank you Hazel," my mother says as she runs her fingers through my hair. She sighs deeply before giving my shoulder a soft squeeze and walks into the living room. Carlisle follows after her. I am the last to enter in the cold room that is surrounded by blankets and chairs, there is an old piano against the warm coloured blue walls that are not flickering with shadows of a fire. I sit down in the midnight blue wingback chair that is closest to the cold fire place fighting back memories of the first time I met Alice.
My mother clears her throat as she pours Bella and I tea, "Thank you," Bella quietly says. I give a silent nod of thanks.
"What do you think Bella?" Carlisle asks.
"It's cozy," she says.
I am confused I look to my mother for clarification her burgundy eyes keenly watch mine as she takes a sip of her blood tea. Her lips and white teeth are stained red as she tells me, "Bella is going to stay with us for awhile."
"What!" I exclaim. "Why? Doesn't she have a home?"
Carlisle squirms in his velvet purple chair, "She does," he says, "but, we do not want to put her father in unnecessary danger."
"Right," I say with a dry bitter laugh that reminds me of sandpaper, "Because danger will not come to us."
"You know it won't Hazel. She is safe with you," he says softly and warmly.
I roll my eyes at his comforting tone. His care for Bella is nauseating. "Why does she not stay with you?" I ask.
"Because we are leaving," he reveals with a deep sigh.
"Why?" I ask.
"Not enough food," he simply states.
I know it is a lie.
"I will get your bags from the car Bella," he tells her. Bella nods and spills some warm tea on her hands she hisses and I snort.
"Hazel," my mother groans. "Please show Bella to her room," she instructs.
I do as she says and I take a large mouthful of my steaming tea and swallow the scalding liquid without a grimace. The burning skin of my throat relieves my disgust and deep displeasure of this moment. I don't want to share my life.
"Follow me," I darkly mutter.
I hear Bella's soft footsteps following me up the steep stairs the wooden handrail suddenly shakes from under my hand I feel the rattling of the old wood under my fingers as if it is a giant snake's tail. I hear a pained groan. I see Bella lying on her stomach and her dull face is planted in the yellow carpet. The clumsy sloth that she is, has fallen up the stairs. I cackle in glee. Before I help her up just as the front door is opening. "Watch your footing," I murmur.
"Thanks for the warning," she murmurs back with an embarrassed smile taking my hand.
"It's warm," she whispers with wide eyes.
I roll my eyes.
"Bella are you alright?" my mother asks.
Bella shyly nods. Her face is red I am filled with pathetic sympathy and I hate it. I hate how this person is so emotional. "Come on, I will show you your room," I tell her with a fake smile.
"Looks like it is going well," I hear my mother say.
I hate them all except for my mother…no actually I changed my mind, she could have said no. So I highly dislike her too.
I lead Bella to the spare room. It is a simple room with wood floors, light green walls and a wooden bed with a dark green velvet coverlet and a green Persian carpet lie beside the bed on the in the corner of the room. There is a plain wooden desk in the opposite corner by the door. There is a restored crystal chandelier hanging from the stone ceiling. "The light switch is here. We updated it, well my mother did," I ramble as I look at Bella's boring bright brown eyes.
"This is perfect thank you," she says with a humble smile.
"You're welcome," my mother says from behind me.
I take this opportunity to flee the room as my inner caged birds flaps against my caged heart. When Bella smiled like that I was reminded of Alice. The Cullens are leaving and that means that Alice is leaving too. My stomach rolls with unneeded uneasiness as I think about never seeing her golden eyes again or seeing her small smile. I can only imagine touching her cold hands as they stroke my fevered body. The way that here lithe curves felt in my arms and the feeling of her boobs nudging my back. I feel my chest thunder with a shuddering breath I fall on my bed and release a hoarse scream into my pillow. My life really is fucked up beyond any recognition.
