Chapter 3

Night was slowly leaving, we had set a course towards Whole Cake Island on Charlotte Moscato's personal Tarte carrier ship, but he could not officially join us for the trip. The Minister of Gelato had to recover from his leg wounds, so he had Hans take his place in delivering me to some person called Pekoms in the island's capital. My escort wasn't as pleased, he wanted to take a moment to repair his loss of a leg and instead, had to ride out to Whole Cake with a leg of shoddy tin. I adapted to sailing without much difficulty. Sure there was the talking food, occasional bouts of seasickness, and existential dread of having myself murdered by the empress but hey at the least I'm joining a crew that hasn't been seen in the series.

Another positive of the journey was the changing seasons. Every island has its own weather patterns used to keep the food and supply islands fresh from spoiling. For example, the aforementioned "Ice Island" is in a perpetual winter with neverending snowstorms and temperatures made to acclimate to the ice cream mountains, all kept in line by a few snow cloud homies perpetually blowing cold flakes 24/7. Even the seas were adjusted to suit the climate since some of the oceans were made of juice that would be fluid in the morning and solid at night. My little jaunt was fortunate enough to not encounter this phenomenon since the port was only partially juice due to it interconnecting with the sea.

Dawn skies were rising red as I laid back on the deck rail watching our target come to the forefront, couldn't sleep on seeing a proper sunrise like this, not since my past vacations to Fiji have I seen such a sunrise come up. The sea breeze was refreshing, much better than the dry breathless cold on Ice Island.

"Enjoying the view?" piped a voice.

I leaned my head back to see Hans hobbling over with a rum bottle in hand. "Brought a few spirits to calm our own before reaching port."

He took a swig of the bottle and tossed it to me, I followed in suit by letting the fiery liquid warm my stomach with a hearty chug. Only to halt upon noticing the bottle making a lewd face.

"Oh please continue friend, let my liquid slush down your throat" purred the rum bottle.

I promptly turned green for a moment and projected my stomach contents into the ocean, mind you brain bleach would've been better at this time. The bottle then spewed a few lewd comments to me some more, none that can be mentioned anyway.

"Oh Globbits!" I retched and tossed the bottle to Hans, who gulped down the rest.

"Sorry for that forgot that you were still new to homies" he stood by me on the rail.

Thankfully this was a development that was still gonna take some time to get used to, food having faces and wanting to be eaten are a concept that will have to be skidded around by me; I silently accepted the Nutcrackers apology as we watched the sun come up. We chatted for a bit about the weather and sweets of the island, just small talk between men bored on a trip.

"So what are the Sky Islands like for you? In all my years being by Big Mom's crew, I never knew what the fluffy seas above were like" Hans then changed the subject to my abject horror, I masked it under a smile. Shit! Think man, Think! What would be the right island to hail from? My thoughts were panicking, one of the elder crew members was wanting an answer and one that would save my bacon.

"I..I.I hail from Birka, it's a nice place to live if your a warrior" I chuckled, while rubbing the back of my head. "Though I was born a wingless child, usually my culture tries to hide such deformities under shawls or heavy clothing."

"So that explains why the doctors couldn't find any wings during the surgery," said Hans, my nervousness subsided on hearing this. "There have been stories that most people in the skies had wings and could fly, it's nice seeing that's not always the case."

"Yeah I'm lucky that way, my fall was not as pretty though" I put my hands into the pockets of my sour lime cargo shorts. "I came back from a party blasted out of mine, got a fruit power from some creep in black, and crashed into the watery depths below, rather tragic if you think about it."

Hans grinned for a moment. "Only if you leave out being rescued by Charlotte Moscato, then it would be tragic" he put a wooden hand on my shoulder in an embrace of friendliness.

I nodded and smiled in unison, glad to see some care from the heavens above. Even if they're wooden and imbued with the soul of another person.

"Okay, I told you a bit of my story, what's yours?" I asked him.

"I'm one of Big Mom's first homies to ever grace her powers at teen years, my body was a gift from some lowly village in Paradise and given life amongst other brothers of wood or tin; we were known as the Tin Soldiers for our devil-may-care attitudes. Throughout my youth or if you can call it that, I was at every skirmish in the captain's life and continued under the banner of the Rocks Pirates, now those were excellent times to be a pillager on the high seas!" regaled Hans in a storyteller fashion. "Although it wasn't a pleasant life onward when the captain became an emperor and having children, that was the signal for the end of my unit for good, I am lucky to be the last one to surviv…live on the island in working condition" his voice became distant, almost dour.

I glanced over to the Nutcracker who had now an aura of sadness hovering around him, jaw agape without much emotion.

"Mr. Grey?"

"Yeah Hans?" I answered his spoken inquiry.

"Before we dock, I would like to ask you to keep my little explanation to this very ship, not outside on Whole Cake Island" before he could add any more, I nodded in mutual agreement. Everyone has the right to hide such saddening pasts, even myself.

The sight of fluffy cakes loomed over the distance, followed by the smoke of burning candles in the sky.

"I promise Hans if you can do the same once we dock at the apricot port" I replied warmly. The nutcracker's demeanor brightened a little as the sight of twin Tartes started to form far from ours.

Buttoning my jacket to hide the rather embarrassing pink tank-top loaned to me by the carrier crew, we came to the sights of the two guarding Tarte's standing still, scouts sitting on their respective crow's nests in dutiful watch for outsiders. Water became sweet-smelling apricot juice as we entered the port, an enlarged wooden dock void of ships save a few small dinghies was to our use by the island's leader. I noticed my friend hobbling back towards the ship's cabin, squeaking with every step.

He motioned a hand to me. "Come on Mr. Grey, we've to greet the committee for your initiation!"

I blinked twice in confusion, "What committee? There's nobody outside" dock was practically empty from what I saw.

"When we get down there from the lower deck, there will be people at the end waiting for us" Hans said curtly.

Shrugging, I relented from extended questioning to follow my guide down the door and into the bowel entrance of the Tarte.

-0-

"GROWR!..There he is in the flesh"

"So this is what you think is valuable for Totto Land?" Charlotte Perospero laid back against the window in a relaxed stance, albeit rather bored. He was taking a small day-off from Ministry duties to overlook some initiation today with his mink friend, Pekoms; not that he had any enthusiasm for the matter. "Kukukukuku-Pekoms do you really think this wingless straggler will be of use to Totto Land? I personally think we should have him put in the library with the other rare species."

Pekoms swiveled his gaze to his old comrade, shades tightened around his furry lion mane. "Perry, like I told the Baron, Momma will enjoy this new addition to the Charlotte Family. You know that she couldn't resist a sucker from a race unknown to her and he's practically homeless, a sitting duck to be pulled from the pond."

Another person joined in with a wheezing voice, the scent of brimstone billowing from each breath. Pekoms steeled his feline senses from overloading, while Perospero coughed for a bit under the smoke cloud.

"I for one agree with Pekoms on the matter, especially since this fry has the rare syrup logia of Gasparde '' guffawed Charlotte Basskarte under smoking breath, not really caring if his comrades were bothered by his breath. "Do you think this fruit will let him survive the New World? I personally want to test that theory with my fire" sparked the shortened pirate with a mouthful of flames.

Perospero licked at his lollipop cane. "I certainly want to as well, can't have one brazenly boast of power with nothing to show."

The three stared out as a familiar nutcracker and gaudily dressed sailor descended onto the port. Pekoms adjusted his shades with a flick of the paw in succession. "Then it is settled, the initiation for Arkady Grey begins now."

All of the pirates vanished to greet the guests at the front gate.

-0-

I could only gape in wonder at the sight of the chateau in front of us, spongy caked walls lined up our destination and bore a wide oaken gate bolted to the side of the building, serving as a form of barrier against outsiders who passed the guardians at the front. Yet, we were deemed worthy by the scouts and security snails stuck to each side of the gates, gazing at us leeringly.

"Woooow this place is big" I gasped as we walked across the bumpy port deck to the chateau entrance. "Hans tell me this place is not made of cake, if so; then you have permission to hold me back from eating it."

"Duly noted but don't even try, Big Mom's cake palace has long since become stale from years of weathering" replied the homie. Our walk abruptly ended after stopping at the head of the gate, letting the security snails above leer at us.

For 3 minutes, the snails vibrated in their shells and made an audible popping noise, before making lurid grins. One spoke up in a sneer. "Speak your name and tread lightly, for you are in the domain of Big Mom."

Hans sighed for some reason. "Pekoms I know it's you, please knock it off with the routine and let us in."

Grimacing, I braced myself for any attack or action to happen from the homies rude reaction, such things weren't uncommon in One Piece. "Hah! There's the old soldier, knew that you would've caught on to me" laughed the snail. "Come on in and show me the new meat so we can set him straight."

Both snails clicked off into their shells as the gates lifted open on chains, my friend issued to me to proceed through at his side. At the gates was a single person awaiting us but he struck me as rather peculiar, even for One Piece standards. The man or beast, if you could call it, was a lion dressed to the nines in a pink suit with tight black shades clinging to his short head, all of the wares clung to his body as if nature had not intended for an animal to bear clothes. "Pekoms!" said Hans cheerfully, he strolled over to the lion and the two hugged like old friends. Both exchanged formalities, a hug and handshake of both hands before turning to face me.

My eyes couldn't turn away from the shades on the lion, blank of any pupil to detail.

Said lion went up to me in a huff. "Whatcha staring at stranger? Haven't you seen a mink before in your life Skylander?" growled the lion.

I gulped nervously, "Ah!..um…I haven't…exactly had the experience with minks before, kind of a foreigner on these parts" my voice grew hoarse as the feline strode over menacingly before….playfully punching me in the arm.

"Just was busting your balls kid, Knew bout your situation from Moscy GROWR!" grinned the lion with an undulating roar. "The names Pekoms and I'm here to oversee your initiation into our humble little slice of heaven."

Relieved, my insides no longer were mush and butterflies left the stomach as I shook hands with Pekoms, thank god. Maybe luck was siding with me after being isekai'd.

"First and foremost Pekoms, we must have young Grey demonstrate his strengths, I'd take it you have readied the room with Basskarte?" queried the Nutcracker. Pekoms turned his attention from me and nodded fervently.

"Yes, you two follow me closely and not struggle, we have a deadline to meet before Momma comes back from her sojourn at Cacao Island" huffed Pekoms. "Come into our humble abode, Perospero awaits us now."

-0-

Humble abode my ass, this place was built like one of those old-fashioned french castles; practically a renaissance fan's wet dream given life. It was more extravagant on the outside, this Big Mom has great taste albeit rather eccentric if you take in its made of baked goods in place of mortar or brick.

Strolling down halls of icing, we passed by floors dedicated to holding treasure, armaments of warfare, guest rooms, a baker's dozen worth of pantries and kitchens, medical offices, and more to even remember from the chatterings of our guide. Although somehow this initiation starts with a demonstration of devil fruit power; I hadn't practiced my abilities much after the Ettousaurus attack and even then the powers of intangibility or becoming my substance had not come into my mind until then. Most that could be made of this logia would be the transformation of my hands into sharpened stakes and the generation of sticky green blobs.

I pondered this further with my guide and companion. "So is this demonstration a test of strength?"

Pekoms chuckled for a bit as we ascended a large spiral staircase built for giants. "As if, this is the test we give all fruit users trying to make it big on the crew. Even better, it allows us to weed out stragglers that won't try any funny stuff on the island's operations."

I nervously chuckled at this thought, fuck me rigid! this is going to get me killed.

"Nevertheless, We aren't going the usual way by having you face Raisin as he is currently nursing food poisoning" Hans replied with a grimace, his tin-leg squeaked under his weight painfully. The leg is still adjusting to his homie physique.

Who's this Raisin? Another Charlotte sibling? My mind thought of another Moscato but with a purple afro and a few wrinkles. "So who's going to test me?"

Pekoms chuckled a bit more and my nutcracker companion giggled a bit at some joke unbeknownst to me. Everything after was plain silence as the spiral staircase ended at the final floor, the Courtyard. Cloudy sunlight greeted us as well as a few visitors in the middle of the empty lot. Both stranger than Pekoms, yet more fitting the vision of Oda in his current state. Standing in the middle of the lot as we passed through an enlarged entrance was a tall man in his mid to late thirties, garbed in a gray suit that reached his feet and a top hat adorned with lollies of different sizes or shapes, and having the biggest shit-eating grin in the whole area. Yet, weirdly enough my attention was not on him but his massive purple tongue, coiling around like some twisted purple worm.

The man next to him was even weirder; hell calling him a man was a bit too generous. Squat and the size of a barrel, this man looked more like a bush with his mass of orange spikey hair and red jacket obscuring his hands or face. The only thing that I could make out were his eyes in that mass of hair or cloth, twin burning orbs that gazed malevolently at us.

"Hansy!" squeaked the tall man, he rushed over to us and hugged my nutcracker; who repaid in kind. "I haven't seen you since Christmas! How's life on the icy plains for you?"

Hans grinned from wooden ear to ear, if painted smiles could reach. "Oh everything's been slow since my transfer years back but it's livable, However, let's save the pleasantries for later; I have a guest that would be a possible snack for Momma."

The tall man then turned his gaze to me with a rather dimmed smile. "Perospero, I would like you to meet Arkady Grey; resident Skylander from Birka and recruit in the making."

I could only hold in the rising flies in my stomach as the tall man outstretched his hand to me with the same dimmed smile. As if the man was forced to shake the hands of an undesirable person by some family member or parole officer. "Hi, there!" I said in jest, shaking the hand of the man, his grip tightened around mine like a vice before letting go.

"Yours as well" mumbled Perospero who then turned back to Hans and Pekoms. "Shall we commence this little test gentleman?"

The other two nodded in unison, Pekoms snapped his furry fingers at me to go to the courtyard to which I listened without question. As I left to the middle next to the silent orange dwarf, my companions stood to the sidelines, the railings to overlook the front left of the courtyard. Pungent scents of sulfur, gasoline, and phosphorus touched my nostrils as the stranger next to me silently breathed through his jacket.

Once readied at the rails, Perospero pulled out a Transponder Snail from his jacket and took off the mic. He then turned on the transceiver, igniting the snail's power to max volume to the rather stinging sensation of white noise.

"Welcome fellow stragglers, You obviously know me as the greatest son of Big Mom…eh? Oh, right not the time for theatrics" I giggled a bit as the operator was dope slapped by the lion mink, the stranger a foot away stayed silent. "Today's straggler demonstration is Arkady Grey, logia-user and wannabe recruit, likely to possibly die or be shelved in the library."

Wannabe! I glared at the referee with slight irritation. "That's not fair for a referee!"

"I shall ignore that remark from the wannabe, and in the next corner, taking the place of our sadly infirmed brother camping the restroom is Charlotte Baskartte!" roared the pirate from the snails grinning teeth. "Boys take a few steps back from each other and for the few who don't remember the rules of this test; One must show some finesse of their powers and knock the other one out or Two, just survive till we say otherwise ya dig?"

I gulped for a moment as the small shrub with legs shuffled a few steps away from me, only to then pull down his jacket to reveal a Glasgow smile of sharpened fangs. The gods looked away from me today.

"Pleasure to meet you, stranger….Let's hope that your fruit can match my heat" spoke the rather raspy Basskarte.

"What do you mean by heat exactly?..." For a split second, my own question was silenced by my challenger opening his jaws and letting a jet of flames shoot out towards me. In the same second, I twisted my body away from the fire; nearly scorching my jacket in the glowing red breeze.

FWOOSH!

Another jet shot from Basskarte's mouth as he tried to hit me again and raising his hands towards me, balls of fire formed from his clothed palms in a charged state. Holy fuck what is this guy? I thought while ducking and rolling simultaneously from the now moving jet of fire. The inferno blazing past a few tiles in an ashed road. "Is that all you can do? I expected a fruit user, not a fried rat!" said Basskarte annoyed, my movements continued to avoid the fire from my moving opponent, he was nearing me to the edge of the Courtyard, not much to run from. I could feel the heat increasing behind me as escape routes looked barren and ideas of retaliation were slim.

Then a risky thought came up.

Basskarte fired his charged fireballs, I ducked from the soaring spheres as they struck the roof and an unintelligible screech from the referee signaled that we cease from burning the house down. The shrub turned to hear the screech better as I clambered up from the floor, syrup started to form from hands as they did in the winter island. Making my dripping hands into a claw gesture, I turned to face Basskarte from behind and whistled to him. "Hey, Matchstick! Turn around."

Before he could swivel around, I released my idea full force.

"SYRUP SPEARS!" I then released several sharpened spines of green liquid at the tiny pirate, my hand elongating the small limbs as they were tiny lances. Basskarte was pierced in the shoulders and left leg as the spears pushed him a few feet away from me; the referees looked with some slight incredulity at this. My fingers broke off the target and the nubs on my left hand regrew back to normal.

"How's that for heat?" my reply was poorly timed as Basskarte rose up with a slight limp, a determined grin on his face. With a puff of breath, the spears ejected from his wounds without a tinge of pain; he licked the blood off one before toasting it with his fire breath.

"Good….But let's see your other tricks deal with my Flame Dial" growled Basskarte. He then unhinged his mouth and flames increased into a thick ball until he then leaned over, flames became a beam of intense orange light. Incinerating tiles and blowing heated winds into the faces of my companions, I could hear only a scream from the tiny pirate.

"FLAME DIAL BEAM!"

Slamming my hands into a sloppy mess, I used another idea from a certain wax-man; if his stuff would actually work with syrup. A buildup of green ichor grew in my hands to the sizes of dinner plates. Seconds passed as the heated beam came in, my mouth stammered a phrase that went unnoticed by everyone.

"S.S…SYRUP BEAM!"

Pure syrup erupted from my hands and into the flames, ahead of me; countering in a continuous dripping hard candy shield. It was a struggle, candy countered fire and vice-versa; none quite pushing each other back as ash or dried syrup lined the floors in our beam war. My body was starting to slacken, fruit was draining the body and the heat was making me feel strained. Yet, my will to live life safely won, not compromising with another death. I then stepped forward and pushed the beam more, thus nudging Basskarte counter even more back.

Can't…Lose This…Never Give In…In a burst of thought and willpower, my body pushed back the fiery beam in one last burst of strength; hard candy battered through the flames like an emerald ram against a rampart. Basskarte couldn't react quickly as his fire fizzled and his jaws were met by a beam of heated syrup; smashing into his mouth and overflowing his firepower with molten syrup, inflating his body like a balloon except with candy instead of air.

Perospero called for the end of the match as the now inflated Basskarte fell to the courtyard floor by the now decreasing beam; retching out smoking green contents from his stomach with bugged-out eyes. The match was over, yet I still collapsed.

Beam had drained my body as everything went numb from the loss of stamina; I didn't know logia fruit users could drain themselves from their powers, maybe this is why some guys like Crocodile had to train their abilities in life. The background went dark as my body collapsed from over-exertion.

I could only hear a distant growl from Pekoms and the sight of colored blobs came my way.

Mind entered a peaceful blissed state.