"Allison," I sneak up behind her, talking softly. "Can I have a ride home? I already called Jack but I couldn't reach him." Work ended about ten minutes ago. Our boss wasn't feeling well, so he called off the staff so he can go home. I figured it'd be hard to reach Jack because we got off an hour earlier than usual; I still had hope, though.

Allison looks at me with bright but dull eyes. "Sure!" I can tell that today's earlier question has been completely forgotten. Thank the Lord. Taking care of kids can make you forget. They can also keep you busy and make you extremely tired.

You are going to be a calm baby... I insist. You are going to be a non-busy baby.

"Just give me a few minutes and then we'll go."

I nod. "I'm going outside. I'll be by the car." There's something important I need to do.

Slightly in a hurry, I walk out to the parking lot. Standing by her car, I take out my cell phone and dial the number I've been needing to dial. I found this great Obstetrician place yesterday online. The doctors seem to be friendly and the center appears to be very organized.

I guess now we'll find out how correct my assumptions were.

I hold the phone to my ear, waiting for someone to pick up.

"Hello, welcome to Reynold Medical Center. My name is Rebecca how can I help you today?" That was said with perfect precision and clarity. My eyebrows raise in surprise. I guess they know what they're doing.

I clear my throat. "Hi, I was hoping to make an appointment."

"Of course, what for?" The voice is cheery yet serious at the same time.

"I want to get check-well, you see...I-I'm pregnant," I whisper quietly. I quickly search the parking lot for listening ears. When did I get so paranoid?

"Yes, dear, that's usually the reason why people call Reynold Medical." The voice is teasing. I can't help but blush. I feel so stupid right now!

"Well-I-I-oh..." I'm so flustered, it's nuts!

I hear a laugh on the other end. "It's okay, dear. I've heard a lot worse from others who are just like you. Okay, let's see..." I hear paper noises on the other line. "I do have to ask you some personal questions."

"I understand."

"Name?"

"Amy Stein."

"Age?"

I gulp. I hope she doesn't judge me. "Uh...n-nineteen."

There's no response, only the sounds of paper being shuffled. "Sex?"

I pause, suddenly stumped. "R-really?"

"I know it's dumb, but they have to know."

"Can't you just put my sex for me?" I ask.

"Sadly, no, it's required that I ask everything...even the obvious," she sighs.

"Female," I mumble.

"How far along are you in your pregnancy?"

"Six weeks, I think."

"Have, or have you had, any obvious pregnancy symptoms?"

"Morning sickness. That's it."

"Have you had any other kids before?"

"No!" I shout, shocked. I close my eyes, trying to calm down. "Sorry, you didn't deserve that."

"Well that question wasn't deserved either." I could hear a small smile in her voice.

I chuckle. "I'm sorry, what's your name again?" I suddenly feel the need to respect this woman; to at least know her name.

To at least remember her name more likely. I've always been horrible at that. I can never seem to remember the name of someone who I've only met a few times. I need to know them for a long time before I remember.

"Rebecca," she says.

"Rebecca," I repeat. "Thank you for not being judgmental."

"Don't worry about it, it's not our business...well, it kind of is-anyway!" I hold back a small chuckle. "Just a few more questions. Any allergies?"

"No."

"Okay..." she murmurs. "Any parents or siblings?"

"Parents yes, siblings no."

"Okay." Papers ruffle together like rough leaves. "Okay, that's all the information that's needed at the moment. Once you come in for your appointment more paper work will be needed to be filled out and you will need your medical card and ID with you. All the usual stuff."

I nod before remembering that she can't see me. "Of course."

"And now, is there any specific doctor you want to see?"

"I-I don't know..." I trail off. "Preferably a woman."

"When would you like your appointment?"

"Shouldn't we continue to talk about the doctor?" Sensing that was rude, I try to explain. "Well, because you know, to make an appointment with the doctor...thing...yeah."

Tried to explain. Tried.

I hear Rebecca release a small laugh. "Our system works a bit differently. When need to pick a day, week, month, whatever, then we see which doctor is available. So, small warning, you may not get a woman."

I blush. "Okay." I'm not sure how much I like the thought of having a man examine me like that. But I need to get this appointment. Or...I can hang-up and look for a different organization.

But this is the only one you liked! I argue with myself. It's close to home, organized, clean, and they do seem like nice people.

I sigh to myself. Yeah, I'm going to stick with this medical center.

"Um, maybe this week. Like Saturday at noon or later?" I ask. I want to have this appointment soon and at a time when I'm not disturbed at school.

"Okay..." I hear clicks. She's probably on the computer looking at the schedule. "Are you still in school, dear?"

"Yes, I am."

"You are what?" A voice says behind me.

I whirl around. "Allison!" I hiss at her.

"What are you doing?" She eyes the phone.

I clench my teeth and grimace. I wanted to finish this before she was done. "Making the appointment." I emphasis 'the', hoping she'll understand.

"Oh." Allison takes out her keys. "Well, get in the car. I'll drive you home while you do that."

I nod, moving to the other side of the vehicle. "Allison," I gently grab her arm. "Don't tell anyone, please?" I feel so horrible for asking. I mean…she's my friend, I can trust her. I guess I really am getting paranoid.

Allison's eyes soften. "Of course I won't. Promise."

I smile at her and whisper a 'thank you'. I continue to walk to the passenger side of the car.

"Are you talking to me, dear?" Rebecca asks on the other line.

I like how she calls me 'dear'; it's kind of calming. "Oh, no. I was talking to my friend. She's driving me home." Okay, Amy, Rebecca doesn't want to know all the details of your life, I chastise myself.

"Does this friend know about your pregnancy?"

I wince out loud. I don't think I'm ever going to get used to that. "Yes, she does."

"Good. It's always been a recommendation of ours that the patient, or the person who's pregnant, to tell a close friend. That way she doesn't withhold all the information to herself," Rebecca explains.

"Oh," I let out a breath. "That's good."

Allison starts up the car. I put on my seatbelt.

"Another question," Rebecca starts. "And this one is kind of personal but the doctor needs the info. Is the father still around? Or have you told him yet?"

I freeze. "Um, it's complicated."

"How so?"

"It's personal." Meaning, I don't want to say.

"I see. So is that a 'no' or a 'yes'?"

I stay quiet for a minute. "Is there a 'I don't know' section?"

Rebecca laughs. "I wish, dear, but no."

"Can we always change the answer later?" That was a difficult question to ask. But what can I say? For all I know, Jack would want nothing to do with the baby. Or worse, he'll want me to get an abortion.

Now, will I follow through with that if he tells me too? My mind mocks. Will I do everything Jack tells me to do?

No. I decided. No, I won't.

"Yes, we can," Rebecca's voice is quiet, like she understands that personal question herself. It makes me want to ask what happened to her. If something happened to her.

I sigh. "Okay, I guess 'yes' for now." I hear a pencil scratch against some paper.

"We do have an opening on Saturday at two, does that work for you?"

"Yeah, it does."

"Okay, great. I'm sorry to say that you will be getting checked by a man. But don't worry," she adds quickly, as if sensing my discomfort. "He's a nice guy and highly intelligent. I highly recommend him. Nadir Khan is brilliant."

"Nadir?" I ask, trying to repeat his name the same way she did. "Where the heck is he from?" I bite my lip. That was soo rude! "Sorry. I-"

Allison looks at me with wide eyes, amusement plastered on her face.

Oh, shut up! I think to her.

"It's fine. Those hormones are kicking in already, I see." Rebecca is teasing me again.

I let out a nervous laugh. "Yeah, it's like being sixteen again." But at least being sixteen was fun and carefree, I think hastily.

"Well, if you must know, he's Persian."

That explains the name. "Alright. Set me up with him, then."

Allison looks at me, her eyebrows raised. He? She mouths to me.

Later. I mouth back.

"I already did." There's a knowing smile in her tone. "Trust me on this, Dr. Khan is brilliant. He checked me when I was pregnant."

"Oh..." I don't know what to say to that. Do I say 'congratulations' or how about 'oh, how is the baby'? I don't know. Finally I come up with, "Thanks, Rebecca."

Don't judge me.

"No problem, dear. If you have anymore questions don't hesitate to call."

"Thank you," I repeat.

"Have a good rest of the day."

"You too."

We both hang up.

"A man?!" Allison says as set my phone aside. "You have an appointment with a man!?"

I sigh. No point in talking to her when she's like this.

"A man!" Allison scoffs in disbelief. "I can't believe it! What was his name again? Kanir...something or other?"

"Nadir Khan."

"Nadir Khan..." She repeats in a soft tone. "That's...kind of a cool name."

I gaze at her. There was a gentleness to her voice I've never heard before. My eyebrows almost raise to the roof of the car when I see a special glint blaze in Allison's eyes. I almost burst out laughing.

"Aww," I tease, snapping Allison back to being her agitated self. "Someone fell in love." And all it took was knowing his name.

Her cheeks are slightly pink. "Don't be ridiculous, Amy. Your just seeing things because of your pregnancy."

"Oh, no you don't! Don't start with that whole she's-pregnant-so-she-doesn't-understand-what-she-sees-or-does business. I know what I saw in your eyes."

Allison rolls those very two objects. "Can we move on from this whole conversation? I thought you would like a woman to, you know...examine you."

"I did. It's just not how their system works."

"Well then how does it work?"

"The patient picks a day then the secretary choses the doctor that is free at that given time."

"That is different," she agrees.

"Yeah, so now I'm stuck with-" I pause, puckering my lips, acting like I'm ready to swoon. I make my voice wispy, "-Nadir Khan..."

"Shut. Up." Allison snaps.

"You don't even know him." I go back to my normal self, satisfied with her reaction.

"Nope. That's why I don't have a dreamy face or goo-goo eyes or whatever you want to call it."

I smirk at her. Whatever you say, my friend. I guess something about Nadir's name got her attention. Some names are very attractive. I know that Allison always had a thing for foreign names. I like something more elegant and manly. Jack is a good, manly name, but it's not elegant enough for me. I've always preferred the name Erik. It's a good, strong name with an elegance to it that I can't explain.

"When is your appointment?" Allison asks.

"In two days. Saturday at two," I clarify.

"Want me to come?" Based on the sound of her voice, I can tell she is seriously asking simply because of support, not because of wanting to meet the man behind the name.

I shake my head. "No. I'll be okay."

We drive the rest of the way home in silence. Once there, Allison parks her car in the lot. I look up at the house. The lights are off, except for one in the bedroom.

Odd, I thought. If he's home, how come he didn't answer his phone?

Usually he gets off half an hour earlier than we do. But, like I said, because we got off an hour early, I wasn't expecting him to answer his phone. This is just odd.

"Didn't you say he didn't answer his phone?" Allison could very well be a mind reader.

I nod my head. "Yeah." I look at her and put on a fake smile, trying to get rid of my confusion. "Thanks for the ride home."

"Anytime." I get out of the car and slam the door shut. "Call me if you need anything!"

"I will!" I shout over the roar of her vehicle. I stay put until Allison's car is out of sight.

I really need a car. I think to myself. I lost mine about two weeks ago. I took it to the shop because it was making weird, crunchy noises. The mechanic literally told me, "I don't know how your still alive. This car is ready to fall apart at any minute." So, that was the end of my baby car, a Volkswagen bug.

With today's events on my shoulders, my steps feel heavy as I walk to the door. I knock, hoping Jack will get it. I don't feel like digging out my keys. After a minute, I knock again. Still no answer. I ring the doorbell.

Nothing.

I guess I will have to use my keys. I dig out my keys from the depths of my purse and unlock the door. As soon as I open it, music pounds my ears. Loud, obnoxious, rock 'n' roll music. The door is pretty sound proof, so there's no surprise that I didn't hear it on the other side. What is a surprise is the type of music Jack put on.

It is vulgar! Dirty!

I wince in disgust.

This is not music!

I prefer pop and classical. Not roll-in-the-dirt disgusting!

"Jack!" I yell, but I can barely hear my own voice. Covering my ears, I place my purse on the couch in the living room, throwing my phone along with it. "Jack!" Still covering my ears, I run upstairs. The door to our bedroom is shut.

Running to it, I open the door and freeze.

My heart shatters to billions of bits.