Ack, I'm late! Or almost late, anyway, it's still Monday when I finally post this. The day got away from me; I was playing Earthbound and watching let's plays and it wasn't until I was looking through my email and thinking "hm, I haven't gotten anything from in a while", and then I remembered my own deadline. So now here I am. This chapter went through a lot of cuts, but I think that it still conveys the emotions I wanted to convey. Anyway, I'm tired, so I'll make this short. See you at the bottom of the page.


Chapter 10: Being Tormented; Part 4


When I came to, I felt like a tuning fork that had been slammed into a concrete slab. I tried to think through the vibrating pain: I was in the dark, on a rough stone floor, and I was clammy. I hated the feeling, that awkward spot between burning up and freezing. I longed for a nice, cold shower.

"…"

…What was that sound? A voice? Footsteps? A person?

I curled in on myself, hoping and praying that whoever was coming towards me would just go away—

"Author?"

I froze. That voice…

I lifted my pounding head.

There was indeed a person there; thin, with dark, neck-length hair. They leaned forward and raised their hands, as if they were unsure if they should help me. I could see a concerned but apprehensive expression on their pale face as they fiddled with the hem of their clothes; a white dress shirt with black pants. Their purple eyes flicked between me and the ground

"…Naoki…?"

"Greetings, Author." He gave me an awkward wave

I began to crawl towards him, barely an inch at a time, but slowly rising to my feet as I went.

He put up his hands slowly, in a "calm down" gesture. "I understand you may perhaps feel angry—"

I threw myself onto him and started to cry. Naoki stood there, seeming to not know what to do

"Hug me," I said, sounding like a dying bird.

He seemed to get the message, and gently put his arms around me. He patted my back in a pattern that sent steady, cooling beats into my spine. I felt much more at ease.

"N-Naoki…" I whimpered.

He gestured to the space in front of us. "We should sit."

I saw the faint outline of a bench in the dark, and I let him lead me to it. We sat slowly. The bench was firm, but not hard; a nice, solid object.

I continued to take deep breaths as Naoki patted my back. I wanted nothing except to cry on him and never let go, but I knew I'd have to say something, eventually.

"…I knew you were real," I whispered, glancing up at him.

Naoki's pale face went stark. "A-ah…"

I blinked at him, then flopped the side of my head on his shoulder again. "So I'm imagining you, then?"

"No! That is-!" He was quiet for a second. "It is… complex. Yes…"

I wiped my eyes and sat up a bit. "How?"

Naoki took a deep breath and didn't look at me. "What my—what she said, is true. I am a product of magic, her magic, created for killing you. When we first met, I was to hold you still as my—one of the Onis killed you. Your magic, however, made us invisible, and the opportunity was… foy-eld…?"

I briefly wondered why Naoki's English wasn't as good as Materna's, then quickly pushed that thought away. "Foiled, yeah," I confirmed. "Then what happened?"

"When you survived, my mission was changed to find another opportunity to kill you, but I think perhaps the change was too sudden. I stopped. You saw me. And then… you talked to me. The program became confused."

"Why?" I asked.

"I knew about the file that was made for you. I knew physical strengths and weaknesses, but beyond that, all I knew was that you were a killer." I stiffened. Naoki noticed and spoke quickly. "You had killed many Onis. You were dangerous. You are dangerous."

"Ah," I said. "Yeah, that would make me a threat, wouldn't it?"

"Yes, you are very threatening. It is why you had to be killed. But when you weren't killed by that Oni in the basement of the annex, I was forced to improvise. And when you spoke to me…

I put a hand over my mouth, as he had all that time ago. "You were trying to understand me."

He nodded. "My program wasn't originally required to speak, but in order to communicate with you, I needed to learn quickly. Does that make sense?"

I nodded.

"It was not easy; I had to find a way to kill you that was different from my original purpose. I thought if I was nice, you would be easier to attack. But you continued to talk to me. You asked me to tell my story. Thanked me for helping you. It was… strange… and nice…"

"I try my best." I nudged his shoulder with the top of my head and sighed, feeling a little more at ease.

Naoki poked me, earning a sudden laugh. The sound seemed to both bewilder and impress him. "You never cease to amaze me."

I cleared my throat. "Uh… where were we?"

Naoki frowned at me. "We… have been here? This entire time?"

"Oh, no, no, I mean—in the story; where did you stop telling the story?"

"Ah," Naoki nodded. "Strange and nice." He looked at me again, almost appraisingly. "As we talked, I wanted more to help you. I did not understand why, however. 'Perhaps it is to find a better opportunity', I had said to myself. But… I felt strange feelings. I wanted to give back your kindness, because I had never had it."

I cocked my head slightly. "'Never had kindnesses?"

"No one had given me kindness before you. Even during my creation spell, I was not given a name like my—like the other Onis."

He did it again; calling the Onis "his somethings", but why? If Materna "created" Naoki and the Onis, then that would make them—oh.

"Is she like your mother?" I asked. Naoki went quiet. "…Sorry."

"No, no, do not be sorry. It is just…" he sighed. "She would never say that. I am not a 'proper' child of hers. I am a tool, created for one purpose, and I would have been… 'removed' after my purpose was done."

I bit my lip hard and wrapped an arm around his waist, holding him close. Slowly, Naoki leaned against me and sighed. "You will never stop surprising me."

"Materna's kind of a bad mom," I blurted.

Naoki sucked air in through his teeth and looked at me in horror. "D-do not say that!"

"Why not?" I asked. "It's true."

"She is the mother of the Onis!" he fretted. "It is her name! She takes great pride in her children and being their mother! It could be said, it is her identity!" He covered my mouth with his hand. "Please, do not say that in front of her! Everything will be worse for you!"

I nodded, and he slowly released his grip. "Do you think she can hear us?" I asked.

"I… do not know. To be sure, I do not know how I am here."

"What did happen to you? You disappeared after I pushed you across the mansion's borders."

"…Ah." He was silent again, purple eyes flicking around to find the right words. "When I killed… the Oni that had attacked you in the study, I made a decision to help you in every way that I could. I knew there would be consequences, but I did not care. I would help you escape. But then, that 'boy' appeared. He was an Oni; he would trick you. I wanted to stop him, but you… were so happy to see him. I understood you were kind to many others, not only me. I did not want to stop your hope, but I knew it would not last. When he attacked, we drove him off together. I believe my 'betrayal'… angered my… my mother. So, she began a… 'termination' program. You were dying. Badly."

I shuddered at the memory of what, at the time, had been the worst pain of my life. "You wanted me to stay."

"I had thought… perhaps, if you stayed in the mansion, I could try to… make you comf-ter-bel, in your last moments. But you… were so sad. You wanted to go home, to go to your family. I had to help you do that."

"So you walked with me to the exit. We almost made it."

"Yes," Naoki nodded. "But then the three others who had entered with you followed us. Before I could do anything, you pushed me across the border. I don't know what happened to you after that. You should have died."

I blinked hard at the memory. "The others seemed to remember me, and threw me across the border so I could escape. But… what about you?" A sinking feeling in my stomach told me I already knew the answer. "What happened to you?"

"I was not designed to exist outside of the mansion grounds. I could not exist. So, I stopped."

I felt a pricking at the back of my eyes and looked down. "I'm sorry…"

He pulled me into another hug, and it took all of my self-control to not burst into tears again. "Author," he sighed, "do not be sorry. If you had crossed the border, the program would have ended, and I would have stopped anyway. The program would have no use, and be terminated. What you did then… you proved to me I was correct. You are a good person. You made me a good… a good person. For a short time."

I pressed my forehead to his. "You were always," I whispered, "a good person."

Naoki didn't say anything. We sat there for a few moments, just being near each other. I wanted it to last forever. Just us, in the dark, reveling in the mixed sound of our breaths.

He slowly pulled away, sooner than I would have liked, but later than I sensed Naoki thought was wise. "Author, I will be honest," he said. "Everything will become very, very hard for you soon. But… I think, if you could bring me from nonexistence to be with you… then you will be good. You will win."

"Naoki…?!" My voice pitched.

He looked conflicted, then settled with hugging me again and patting my back in that calming rhythm. I grew more and more tired, like if I closed my eyes, I would sleep for a thousand years. I wanted to fight against it, stay with him a little longer, but I knew it was a losing battle. So, I nuzzled into his shoulder and let his presence soothe me.


Back in the original published version of this part, I got confused in my own web of plot and misremembered why Naoki put his hand on The Author's mouth. The intended reason was always because Naoki was never meant to speak, so he wasn't able to. He basically taught himself based on the file that had all of The Author's information, and the few words he heard her say in person.

What is Naoki? I originally likened him to a computer program, which is still probably the clearest metaphor I can use, but I also know that it's an extremely complicated form of magic, something that Materna would have had to spend a surprisingly decent amount of time perfecting, despite how briefly it was supposed to play a role. Despite this, Materna wouldn't consider Naoki to be her child, more of a project that didn't fulfill its purpose and wasn't worth the effort she put in. Oh well, she's basically The Mother, so she knows best... right?

Anyway, I'm going to leave this here. I'll see you all later. Until then!