Written for "Mass Effect Relationships Week 2019" - Prompt - Tall Tales
A/N: This is the long story version of what was mentioned in Chapter 3 of my fic, 'Tranquility.' However, you don't need to read the story in order to read this one-shot.
Once more, to the surprise of absolutely no one, the Mako needed field repairs. Commander Shepard went up and down one too many steep hills out of sheer stubbornness. Not for the first time, the tire on the front and right passenger side got loose from its axle. If it were up to Urdnot Wrex, he'd throw a grenade at it and watch the fiery explosion with impish glee. It would be a heck of a lot more fun than playing guard duty a few yards away from the driver's side of the Mako. Shepard guarded the other side while Garrus Vakarian worked on the repairs.
Hours ago, they landed on a green and stormy planet called Ontarom for a mission which included a fire fight (the highlight of Wrex's day so far). After that business was done, Shepard and her team decided to explore the surrounding area for resources (practical but boring, something everyone on the team agreed on).
Well, that was what they were doing until the Mako had to be repaired. From where he stood, Wrex could hear the turian working on the axle, and the krogan let out a low growl out of boredom.
This better be quick, Wrex grumbled in his head after ten minutes of standing around – which was more like an eternity. Or else I'm gonna fall asleep out here. At that thought, he nearly laughed at the idea of Shepard and Garrus (especially the turian) being forced to drag a sleeping, 800-pound krogan back into the Mako with no biotics to speak of. That would've definitely made his day… well, besides the fire fight from earlier of course.
Out of boredom, Wrex reached for a compartment in his armor that hid his credit chit. He figured it wouldn't hurt to count his money for the second time on this day, especially after his recent win at the Quasar machine during their last stop on the Citadel.
However, when he reached his hand into the compartment, nothing was there!
"What the-" he uttered with bewilderment. He quickly double checked the compartment. Sure enough, his credit chit, which included his Quasar winnings, was gone! He then checked other parts of his armor. Maybe he placed it in another compartment of his armor, but all he found was a paperclip and a piece of lint (and he didn't even want to know how either of them got in there).
Might be in the Mako, Wrex suddenly thought. He began to head to the rover's driver side and opened the door as soon as he was within reach. He then jumped in with a little more force than usual.
"Wrex, what the hell are you doing?!" Garrus yelled out with annoyance as the Mako shifted under Wrex's weight.
"Looking for my damn credit chit," Wrex grumbled as he pulled the drivers set back to see if it fell under there. Nope, it wasn't there either.
"I didn't see your chit when I went in there to get my tools earlier," Garrus mentioned.
Those words made Wrex suspicious as he glared at Garrus through the passenger side window. "And you know this how?"
"…Because I didn't see it?"
"…Or maybe you took it for yourself."
Garrus's mandibles flared with both shock and anger over the accusation. "What? NO! Why the hell would I take your damn credit chit?"
"Why wouldn't anyone?" Wrex mentioned as he stepped out of the Mako and back onto the ground. He slammed the door behind him (which caused the vehicle to sway a bit) and walked around the rover to where Garrus stood. "There were enough credits to feed myself three lunches and four dinners at Fishdog Foodshack! As you can imagine, that's a lot, even for a krogan!"
"I swear on the spirits, Wrex, I did not take your credit chit," Garrus tried to reason.
"Well if it's not in my pockets, or in the Mako, or on the grass, then where is it?"
"How should I know?!" Garrus yelled. At that point, he was starting to get annoyed with Wrex. "For all you know, you might've dropped it back at the facility we fought in earlier! Or back on the Normandy!"
"Not possible," Wrex said. "I checked my pockets while we were checking for resources."
"Why would you even bother to bring your credit chit to a mission on a mostly abandoned planet anyway?"
"And why would I leave it back on the Normandy for just anyone to take?" Wrex reasoned.
"We have lockers, you know!" Garrus pointed out.
"My best shotgun already takes up enough room as it is!"
"That's a dumb excuse!"
"Better than letting anyone mess it up while I'm not around!"
Just as Wrex said that, Garrus happened to turn his head as he noticed something. Wrex didn't bother to look as he still argued with the stubborn turian.
"Wrex-"
"What?!" Wrex bellowed.
Garrus glared at him and didn't say another word, but he did lift a hand and pointed a single talon towards a particular direction. It was clear that Garrus wanted him to see something. With a roll of his eyes and a grunt, Wrex turned his head to see whatever it was that Garrus pointed at.
A thresher maw could've sneaked up on Wrex and swallowed him whole. Because at that moment, what got his full attention mere yards away was nothing short of ridiculous.
The mammal he saw nearby was - as humans called them - a space cow (despite being more of a cross between a deer and an anteater with two extra limbs that served as arms), which was known for having - as humans also called them - a shifty-looking face. All this time, neither Wrex or Garrus ever noticed the animal's presence until Garrus spotted it. Were they really that stealthy that even a krogan couldn't pick up on it with their superior hearing?
Not only did the thought throw him off, but Wrex soon spotted a very familiar item in one of the cow's hands – his credit chit! He really did drop it somewhere on the ground! How it happened didn't matter. He was about to run after the cow and get his chit back, but one thing managed to stop him before he moved…
With his own eyes, Wrex saw the cow actually take Shepard's own credit chit from one of her gear pouches! What was even more insane was that Shepard – the Commander Shepard – didn't notice it happened as she continued to remain on lookout!
Only then did Wrex truly understand how the cow got his chit in the first place. That sneaky little pyjak!
Wrex turned to Garrus, who clearly saw what the krogan witnessed by how wide his eyes were and the way his mandibles flared and dropped. They turned their heads again to look at the cow just as it added the newly stolen chit to the 'pile' in its other hand – with Shepard still unaware of what was going on mere inches behind her. Then, they looked at each other again with bewilderment.
A split second later, it happened. A krogan and a turian - natural enemies for many years ever since the start of the genophage – both lost their composure and howled with laughter at the same time.
This went on for a few seconds before Garrus tried to speak in between laughing. "Oh spirits – aahaha! – Y – did you s – aaahahaha!"
"It's so ridiculous!" Wrex managed to say. "And – dammit, it got me, too!" he added before he howled again. At that point, he wasn't even angry about being pick pocketed anymore - even if his chit was worth three lunches and four dinners at Fishdog Foodshack.
Then they both happened to look up – and actually made eye contact with the cow. The mammal stared at them momentarily - its eyes wide with terror as it realized that it was caught red handed. And then it actually began to scurry away from the group. Not run – scurry!
They both lost it even more right there. Garrus nearly keeled over while Wrex fell back against the Mako before he actually grabbed hold of Garrus's shoulder. The turian didn't even try to brush his hand away – or he just didn't notice at all.
Of course, their fits of laughter caught Shepard's attention and she turned to look at them both. She did spot the cow then as it continued to scurry away, but paid it no mind otherwise. Neither Wrex or Garrus noticed the wary gaze she gave them both, especially since neither of them really got along until that moment.
"What's so funny over there?" Shepard asked aloud.
They both stopped laughing and became serious in an instant. "Nothing," they both said in unison, though Garrus cleared his throat right after. Shepard gave them both a peculiar gaze before she shrugged her shoulders and turned her back to them to continue watch duty.
"Should we tell her?" Wrex ended up asking with a grin - and low enough that only the turian heard him.
Garrus's mandibles flared with amusement. "Mmm… maybe in a minute. Just wait until the rest of the crew hears about this."
"Ha! They would love this story, wouldn't they?"
"Yeah. …Did we just become friends?"
Wrex snorted with amusement. "You wish, turian."
Garrus's mandibles flared even more. "Ah, probably for the best. I'd hate to make you look like an amateur when it comes to which one of us is the best shot."
Wrex grinned. "If that ever happened, I'll just feed you to a thresher maw."
Wrex wasn't about to admit it out loud of course, but it was true… he and Garrus really did get along for the first time since they joined forces with Shepard. Neither of them knew at that time that this moment was the beginning of what would become a lifetime friendship.
—
*And yes, Wrex did get his credit chit back, because of course he wasn't going to let that shifty-looking cow get away with it!
