Dae Frazier

One Week Ago

"Will I ever be able to see Evelyn again?" I ask, my head resting on my mother's lap, as she fiddles with my coily hair. She looks distantly, as she hums a tune that I do not recognise, though it sounds familiar. She finishes the pleasant song off before deciding to answer me.

"One day you will, Dae. One day." Mother settles on, even though it's always the same answer. It's been years since I was last able to visit her and I don't know why we can't go again. I don't fully understand why I'm trapped in the confinement of my house a lot of the time too. I'm not allowed to see anyone else but my mother. Why can't I see the rest of my family? It's not like we're close.

"It's always one day, isn't it?" I rhetorically sigh, wanting to get back up. But my mother hasn't finished with my hair.

She nods. "Yes, it is. I wish I could know when that day is, but...I don't Dae. Maybe once you're an adult, that day will come."

I don't mind waiting until then, as it'll all be worth it. In fact, I'm rather excited to see father and Eyelyn again. I can barely remember when we used to spend time together, but I can still hear their voices and remember what they smell like and picture what they look like. I wonder if I'm remembering correctly.

"Is it alright if I go out tonight?" I suddenly ask, my voice stumbling a bit. I've been stuck in this house for a while now and I'd like some fresh air.

"Where do you want to go?" Mother offers it as a choice, though I really don't have one. I can't pick where I can go. Mother has monitored the options and picked the safest places for me to go. I can only go to those places.

I think over the options. There's the glass gardens, the local forest, the neighbourhood. Maybe if we're lucky, I could go to one of the special places, like the local art gallery or cafe or museum. But I don't want to tempt my luck too much. We've had a lot of trips like that recently.

"I'd like to go to the glass gardens, please." I ask as politely as possible, sounding as sweet as I can.

"I think that should be fine...I can't go with you though, sorry. I've got some very important meetings tonight." My mother sighs, as she puts a bow in the hair. Oh...that's alright! I know her work is very important. She's a very important and well known politician, so it's not like she can't go. Mother will never tell any further details though…

But I know she's just helping everyone!

"Oh, ok! Good luck!" I try to hide my disappointment by covering up with an ecstatic voice. "So, will I go with Septima instead?"

She nods silently. Yay! I like spending time with Septima, even if she can't speak. It's a shame she was born mute. I always wonder why she's never had any surgery to get her voice back.

I stand up, my mother finished with my coily hair. It looks very pretty with all the different coloured bows she's placed in it. And she's placed the beads in so well too. It's so cute! Mother is so talented!


The glass gardens are empty when it gets so late. It's not as impressive in the winter, but it's still beautiful. They can control the temperature and conditions completely, so there are always a lot of customers. It's closed off to the public right now however due to the Kronia renovations they're doing.

But I'm still allowed in! I think my Mother paid them? Or she ordered them to let us in? She's a really powerful lady, so I think they have to listen. I'm just speculating though, I'm not sure what the real answer is.

I walk up and down the alleys, looking at all the pretty rows of flowers, the vines drooping down and the overgrowing trees with branches that poke into the pathways. There's all the pretty birds chirping in the trees and bees buzzing around too. My favourite place of the dome gardens though are the roses, which are grown into this spiral of rainbows.

"Septima, what's your favourite part?" I curiously ask her, as we head to the roses. She shrugs, before pointing to the centre, where there's a large glass fountain of a figure I never knew the name of. Some victor of the Hunger Games? I've never been allowed to watch it though. I suppose the colourful water is pretty though.

"I love it too. It's magnificent." I say, before stopping to look at the spiral of flowers. It's breathtaking and ever so beautiful. But I wish I could hear Septima talk about how beautiful it is. I wish I could hear anyone else, other than my mother, speak to me about it actually.

I still smile as I bend down to look at the roses. As I go to smell the closest red one, I misplace my hand. A thorn pokes my finger, drawing a small amount of blood out. Ouch, it stings slightly. I'm not really used to pain, but this doesn't hurt too bad. Septima rushes over, looking very sympathetic. She gives me a tissue to dab the cut, though it's nothing to worry about. The bleeding stops relatively quickly.

Septima and I silently pace up and down the other pathways. But it isn't the same anymore. I'm still so glad and happy to be here, but I really just want to go home too. There's no point of going through the same paths for the tenth time. I've already seen it all.


It's really easy to get lost in the music when there's no distractions. I'd love to be able to play any of the instruments I've learned to an audience though I've never had the opportunity. I used to play for all of my dolls, figurines and teddies, but I can't keep doing that forever, can I?

Maybe one day I can play on a large stage! I think a lot of the Capitol would like to listen to an expert piano player. I don't really follow the musical trends so I'm not sure, but I think that makes sense. All pianos sound nice, if played well.

Imagine having a large, eager audience who wants to listen to you...that'd be wonderful. I'd love to have so many adoring fans.

But I quickly grow bored of the piano, so I switch to the clarinet. I think that's less popular. It doesn't sound as nice in my opinion. Or maybe I'm just less experienced when it comes to it. The squeaky noises make me laugh but who'd want to hear them in the middle of a performance?

As I go to the cello, I think...I could make a one person band! Surely that's a thing! Is it even possible? I could quickly switch between instruments but I'd need a lot of extra help, surely. I think I can still pull it off though. That could be my main selling point. It'd be sure to garner me a large crowd of fans!

So I practice switching between the instruments as quickly as possible, though it turns out to be a mess. Oh well! Silly me for thinking it'd be a good idea. I still laugh at my own stupidity...I guess we all have our moments like that.


There must be some sort of information on Father and Eyelyn in this mansion. It'd be impossible for my Mother to purge all information off them. I don't care if it's as insignificant as there favourite colour or as important as their address.

But say if I do find something that I shouldn't. What if it resulted in me being able to find them and visit them? How would Mother react if I were to run away for a while to see them? I think she'd kill me whenever I returned. She hates it when I leave without her permission. Especially one of the areas where I'm not allowed to go.

But that doesn't put me off from searching the mansion. I have nothing new to do, so I might as well...there's some rooms I haven't been in for months. I wonder if they've changed at all. I'd never dare go into any of my Mother's rooms either so it's not like I have many options.

I enter an empty spare bedroom. I think one of the servants sleeps in here sometimes, though this room seems to be abandoned anyway. There's no personal belongings or touches to make it feel like someone's property. It's pretty much empty bar for the typical furniture you'd find in a room.

Is it morally right for me to search through a servant's property? Or am I just worrying over nothing? It might not even belong to anyone. Everything's pretty much empty so...though I don't know how many belongings our servants have anyway. They wouldn't need much if they have their own house.

Trying not to think about it, I look through a drawer! This is like something out of one of the adventure books we have in the library. Oh, I feel like a detective! Or an explorer! Like, a blend of both of them actually. I just hope I don't get caught...that never ends well.

But pretty much everything is empty...this is the fourth room now which hasn't given me any clues! This sucks. I guess my search has remained fruitless for now. But I won't give up yet, I'll keep searching until I'm satisfied!


I frown. Even after searching for another hour, I still haven't come any closer to my goal. So I gave up, worried that Mother was going to come home any moment, or one of the maids or butlers would come in and find me. I know most of them don't speak much, so they probably wouldn't tell mother, would they?

I try to shuffle the cards again, but I drop a few onto the floor, messing the trick up. I look at them for a second, before throwing the rest down. I thought it'd be really cool to learn some magic tricks but what's the point if I have nobody to show it to? I keep messing up anyway...oh well…

But staring at the cards flopped everywhere just makes me even more upset. It feels so disappointing to just give up. I did all that work just to lead nowhere. I don't feel any happier now that I've stopped.

So I might as well learn how to do it! I don't want to be a quitter all the time. It's bad enough quitting when I'm trying to find a way to get to my family. I feel even more pathetic quitting over a cards trick. So I try shuffling the cards again and again and again until I learn the perfect method. It takes me slightly too long for a task so simple, but it's still worth it. I don't have anything better to do anyway.


My life is really a cycle, huh? I do the same thing, every day of the week, at usual times. Like, I go from playing my instruments to painting pretty much every day, but I never paint after swimming or studying. I should really mix it up sometimes, to the best I can do.

But for now I have to study. I'm homeschooled by this AI thing that does a pretty good job, but I bet a human would be better at it. At least I could have someone to talk to that way.

"I don't really get...err, what this poem is about." I lie. I've finished analysing the lines I have too, I just want to hear the AI speak. I don't like working in silence but I'm not allowed to listen to anything else.

"Your analyses prove otherwise, Dae. Please do not try to lie to me." The AI laughs at my foolishness from the screen. I'm always amazed at how realistic and advanced these AI's are. Apparently, in the old days, they couldn't pick up when you were lying. That's what Mother told me.

I frown, picking up my pen again to start to scribble once more. We sit in silence as I read over the texts and start writing, so I hum to myself, the same tune my Mother was humming. The AI picks up on this and replicates it with its deep masculine voice. "Ah, is that the old Hunger Games theme song?"

"I don't know...is it?" I ask, curiously.

"I assume so, Dae. Do you not know what the Hunger Games are?" The AI asks.

"I think I know how it works, but I've never watched it. Mother has made sure there's no way for me to watch it." I pout. I wonder what all the fuss and hype is about? It's just a friendly competition, isn't it? So why am I not allowed to watch it? It could offer some more excitement to my repetitive life.

"I'm sure there's a reason for that." The AI still hums. There probably is, but I'll never find out, unless I leave the house one day.

As we sit in silence, listening to the theme song, I think back to how my life is a cycle again and how desperate I am for some change.


"Dae...do you remember all those years ago, when you asked to be put in the Saturn Games?" Mother tells me, as she clasps onto my hands. That must have been...three years ago, now? We used to watch it together, as Mother said it'd be a good stepping stone to begin the Hunger Games, though I haven't started it yet.

I nod, wondering why it's been brought up. "Yes, I filmed an audition video a while back, didn't I? Was it ever sent in?"

"Well, I've been in touch with a few of the producers and we've managed to get you in!" She lets out a shrill shriek of happiness, bouncing on the sofa slightly. I let out a shriek too (that feels odd in my mouth), feeling almost over the moon. This is such a good thing, isn't it? I'm finally going to properly be allowed out again!

But...why now? I feel so happy right now but it's overridden by confusion. I've asked so many times to just go out to the places that I'm not allowed to go to or visit Eyelyn and Father or just do whatever normal teens do. Simply going to the park outside of my street isn't allowed but I can go on television for the entire world to see?

And I'm actually not too keen on the idea of the competition and being recorded but I don't mind. Mother worked really hard to get me there, didn't she? So I should at least show some gratitude and do as she pleases.

"Thank you. This'll be such a good trip!" I smile, focusing on tapping my legs to ignore the incoming feelings that I didn't want.

"Yes, yes." My mother nods, before going silent for a moment. "I'm just going to warn you now but...it probably won't be how you expect it to be...and I don't want you to be upset if you don't like it."

I can handle that, right? I'm not a young girl anymore, so I won't cry at the first sign of adversity. I don't really know what to expect actually but I'm really hopeful and excited! No matter what happens though I know it'll be good. "I should be fine. It'll be a good learning experience."

"Life is a better tutor than any AI or human can be." Mother dotes, though I disregard it, because if she thought it was true she would let me out more and not be so controlling of what and how I learn.

I suppose I should start preparing for these games then! But what do I prepare for? And how do I even prepare? Would it be better to go in blind? I think that would make better TV, if my reactions were more raw and real. Perhaps Mother could tell me what to do! She's a very smart lady so she could help me a lot. I should just sleep on it and decide tomorrow, actually. I think that'd be the smartest action right now.