Auberon Laurier
18:06
I thought I had turned up to the hall rather early, but it's already filled up. I mean...as filled up as it can be with ten people! It's like the opposite of a tin of sardines.
I already miss the people behind the cameras and their cute faces. I don't like being surrounded by all these drones and moving cameras. It feels like I'm in some sort of…sci-fi factory! I do like how we've been given these snazzy tuxedos though, with a cute red bowtie, a dark black jacket and trousers (or a blue one for all the ladies!) It makes me feel like I'm out of a terrible spy flick! But I at least feel a lot more confident and handsome in this.
My eyes fleet across the hall, looking at everything. It's like a ballroom, with a large open dance floor, surrounded by smaller circular tables that can fit groups of four. Uh oh, I've never ball danced before! I have two right feet! Do they expect us to dance later on?
There's a large stage too, which I think I'll ignore for now, and a kitchen in the corner which is serving hot meals! Everything is decked out in gold plating and there's low hanging chandeliers and massive wreaths of flowers hanging everywhere and old timey paintings of emperors and halls like this on the ceiling. This is probably like one of my dad's parties! Or it's how I'd imagine it.
So what do I do? I want to meet everybody, so maybe I should expand my horizons and talk to some people! I've only really stuck to my District so far, but that's gone really well! If they're just as nice as the rest of Suada, then it should go really smoothly.
So I go to the first person I see who's alone. Blu waves to me, kicking a chair out with a smile as he sees me pull up next to him. I sit on it, holding onto the edge of the seats. "Hey! I don't think we've properly talked yet."
"Nah, we haven't." Blu nods.
What to say now...what to say now… "So are you going to dance tonight?"
"I think we have to at some point." He nods again. Blu's not really giving me much to work off with here. I pick up the napkin the cutlery is laid in and start to unfold it, so I have something to do while I think of what to say. I don't want to look like a statue.
"Really? Are you a good dancer?" I ask.
Blu shrugs, now playing with a napkin too. He doesn't really maintain eye contact. Am I using too much eye contact to the point where it's uncomfortable? Oh no! "I've never really tried to dance before."
"Oh...why not?" I'm asking a lot of questions, aren't I? No, I just asked another one, didn't I?
Blu looks at the napkin intensely. "Never really felt like it."
"Mood. I haven't danced much either because…" Do I admit to having haemophilia? I don't want it to define me or make me look weaker. So I lie. "I'm kind of tone deaf. It's hard to vibe along with the music."
"Isn't that to do with singing?" He asks, looking confused.
"Oh, beat deafness then!" I say, thinking that's probably the correct term. Why am I lying again? There's no point to this! "Well, I better test it out and start dancing now! Bye."
I quickly stand up and speed walk to the dance floor, waving him a goodbye before leaving. It was harder speaking to Blu than everybody else! He's a nice guy but he seemed kind of distant and I need him to be close to me. Maybe I've been spoiled by being in the popular kids district.
The only other person on the dance floor is Tiara right now, who's just vibing along to the music. I should vibe along too. But I don't really know this song. It's modern I think as it's very poppy. Vibing. Shuffling. Vibing. Shuffling. I should move a little bit more as I'm standing in one place and probably look very awkward. So I really start to move, with a lot of energy. Vibing. Vibing. Slightly faster shuffling.
Tiara looks at me and starts to laugh. Are my vibes not strong enough for her? Or do I look like a fool? "No, silly, you're doing the dance wrong."
"T-there's a dance? I didn't know that!" I ask, my voice shaking a little bit. Aww, my hands are probably clammy and sweaty but she takes them anyway.
"I can teach you then." She laughs louder now and I start to blush. "Just copy me."
So I follow along, moving my hands to the lyrics at the right time, occasionally dropping downwards or bopping along to the beat. After a couple of attempts, I think I've got it right, but the song is now over. So I go back to freestyling like I did before.
Tiara's laughing really loudly now. "You're so funny, Auberon."
F-funny? I was trying to be funny! But maybe I should play that aspect up then!
"Thanks! I try." I smile. I start to stomp my legs harder and wave my arms around and do the sprinkler and the picking the apples from the trees and the spins. She's laughing a lot now. You go, Auberon the comedian. You're actually impressing someone already!
Gratiana Lamb
18:31
Miri and I hang around the drinks bar. I haven't drunk much alcohol before, so having this many options is quite a shock. But we're all of legal drinking age in the Capitol, so I guess having all these choices make sense. Miri's a lot more experienced than I am, so she just easily picks a fruity beverage.
"You look concerned." Miri helpfully points out. Is it that obvious?
"Do I?" I ask and she nods. "Sorry...I just don't really know what's best…"
Miri looks over all the different options too. I don't think there's any really strong options. It's all rather tame which makes sense. "You don't have to drink anything if you don't want to. This isn't the best place to start."
I shake my head. "No, I've drunk before! But...I don't really know what to have now…"
"And you're worried about the cameras?" Miri asks.
"How did you know?"
"I can tell from your body language. You keep eyeing around and...nobody stalls for this long. Don't worry though, I get the feeling." She's looking around at the cameras that are floating about too. Wow, she really is perceptive. Or am I just really easy to read? I hope it's the first.
Frowning, I take a step back, away from the bar. "Yeah...you're right. I don't have to drink. I might drink later on though."
Miri nods, already sipping from her glass. It's my choice, so I should do what I want! And I'm not going to bow to peer pressure if anybody tries to get me to drink. Thankfully, Miri is understanding.
It's only because I'm just worried that I might say or do something while I'm tipsy or drunk that'll make me look like an idiot though. If I'm going to use this to propel my career forward, I don't need my future employers looking at me acting like a fool.
We wander to one of the emptier corners, where we get the full view of the hall. Everybody's so spread about, doing their own little things. But everybody's separated...I guess it can't be helped when there's so few of us. We lean against the wall.
"Do you like Nefeli's singing?" Miri asks, placing her glass on the table in front of us.
"Huh? Oh...yeah. She's been singing for a while though." I say, looking at her on the stage. She's really getting into the music, singing really loudly and intensely to some jazz song. Nefeli sings with confidence and good stage presence, ignoring all distractions. She must be very passionate about it….it's a shame she isn't as passionate about fashion.
Miri laughs. "What...would you like to replace her?"
I shake my head. "No, no, no, no. I have never sung in front of anyone before."
"But you've done like...clarinet performances, haven't you?" Miri asks. I have! Do I look like Nefeli when I play the clarinet? I hope I do, because she really looks like she's really in the zone.
"That's different though. I'm never the only one on stage and I'm not actually singing." I giggle a little bit too. We sit down at one of the tables, tired of standing up.
Miri shrugs, as she stirs her drinks. "But it's like...the same pressure."
"Kind of. Why don't you go up then? It's the same pressure as having thousands of people watch your blogs, right?" I quickly change the topic back to her. I wonder what that must be like. Having so many people get to know you personally must be weird. But it must be a nice feeling knowing people like you more for you than your looks or anything else. I'd like that. It's kind of what I'm trying to do here.
She laughs a little bit too. "Yeah, but I can't sing. If I could, I'd never shut up."
"Same. I sound like a dying frog." I smile. I pick up a flower from one of the bouquets and begin twirling it around mindlessly.
"Yeah and I sound like a cow being tortured." Miri smiles too.
It goes to silence for a second. The song finishes, so we both clap for Nefeli, a few other people joining in. But the music picks right back up again as she bows, causing her to quickly stand up again and start belting it out once more. I guess it really is never ending, hee hee.
"Should we dance instead?" I suddenly bring up as it enters my mind. We turn to the dance floor. It's rather empty, with an awkward looking Blu attempting to dance with Tiara, who's much more passionate. Auberon is also doing some funky freestyle, where he keeps kicking his legs out. He's getting dangerously close to Karrie who's just swaying without thinking.
"Yeah, but we'd never be as good as Auberon." Miri laughs. As she says this, Auberon falls to the floor, misplacing his foot. He desperately looks as his feet and hand to see that they're all fine, sighing with relief. That must have spooked him as he quickly leaves.
Trying not to be too mean, I laugh along. "Never in a million years."
So we stand up, heading to the dance floor too.
Blu Saint-Germain
19:02
I've decided that tonight I'm just going to let go and relax. I hope that this will be an enjoyable process, but I think I'll have a better time tonight if I just stay out of game mode. Popularity is just as important as every other aspect.
But I'm getting really tired of dancing now. I didn't think I'd be dancing for all this time when I stepped on here! I shouldn't have left the tables. It's just I didn't want to be alone. I know my strategy is to lay low and not form too many connections, but I can't not talk to anybody the entire time. It's all about letting go tonight…
Tiara finally lets go of her strong grip, as she sees two other girls approach us. Grati! She's somebody I've spoken to..and I guess I'm kind of fond of. But the other girl is Miri...I have no idea what she's like. I'll speak if I'm spoken to, but I'm not sure if I want to engage in conversation with her.
"We liked your dancing, Blu." Miri laughs with a hint of sarcasm. She directly addressed me straight away, although we haven't spoken. She's confident. Nobody doubts confident people, as they think they're too open and friendly.
"Thanks." I laugh, rubbing the back of my head. "I know I'm kind of awkward."
I've never danced before, because I've never been to any parties where you could dance before, as sad as it sounds. Most of my friends are sort of like minded, so we just…vibe if we get together. I'm also not counting the ones where everyone's invited, or they know me via association like siblings. I just keep to myself at those ones or I don't go.
Gratiana shrugs. "You weren't that bad though."
Miri nods. "Yeah, you didn't trip over yourself!"
I look at Auberon, who's still blushing from his little stint. Poor guy. "Still doesn't excuse my lack of rhythm and just...everything else." I smile awkwardly.
"I still had fun!" Tiara smiles, looking directly at me. We didn't speak too much as we were too preoccupied with dancing. She's nice, but I can tell she's also uncomfortable.
"So did I." I smile. Tiara laughs, before leaving us to get a drink. I'm really thirsty too, so I decide to go there too once she's left. The other two girls go back to dancing, leaving me alone again. I think I needed a break from all this socialisation, just for a minute.
I go to the bar, picking up a glass of water. It's boring, but the only other options are alcohol. I don't really trust myself to be drunk…
That being said, I don't think it's wise to hand us drinks. I've noticed the producers making a lot of small slight choices to ensure great TV, that could be easily missed. Like, putting some of the most argumentative people on the same train ride? Or handing us drinks? It's all very suspicious.
I take a sip, as I stare at the paintings on the ceiling. They're really well done, but some of them seem a bit odd to place in a hall like this. Some of them depict fights and murder scenes and wars...it's off putting slightly. It's weird to see them next to peaceful scenes of nature and the skies.
"You were shit at dancing." I hear a voice behind me say. That's Karrie. Everybody was so nice and then she just speaks openly. I know she's quite an abrasive person so she's probably doing it to get a reaction. So I don't give her one, instead remaining neutral.
"Thank you." I smile, looking at her. She's now looking at me, as we stand in silence for a few seconds, looking at each other.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Karrie asks.
I shrug. "I could ask the same thing to you."
We're clearly doing the same thing...analysing each other, I guess. I know she's asking these questions to see how I react and what I do. I'm very unfamiliar to her and she doesn't like that. I can see from her annoyed expression.
"Is that all you're going to say? Insult me and then stare me down?" I ask, curiously. Maybe she does have another reason to talk to me.
Karrie shakes her head. "No. I was going to ask you if you wanted to dance." Really? So she starts off by insulting me about my dancing skills and then she asks me to dance again? Is this some sort of weird love proposal? "And no, I don't fancy you before you get any wrong ideas in your head. You're just funny to watch when dancing."
"Thanks. But who am I to turn you down." I decide. I can't really say no, no matter how rude she is. We return back to the shiny floor. Karrie pulls my hands tightly, moving me about to the rock song playing. She directs my every move, dominating my every choice. I don't have the opportunity to try to lead. It's a very one sided dance. We're silent except for when she occasionally laughs at me when I place my feet in the wrong place or mess up. Kind of awkward.
"Do you like this song?"
"No. It's too slow." Karrie snaps back, shutting off the conversation. We go back to silence as the song ends. I guess she's a very...commanding person. I should stay away from her in future.
Lycoris Ashford
19:48
I stare at the luminous moon as the bitter wind encases me. Even if I could sit and stare for longer than the allotted time, I wouldn't. I miss the warmth of the people and socialising with others. The conditions are also less than pleasant. I'm only sitting outside for a quick five minutes because I feel sick and need some fresh air.
I hear the metal doors to the hall clack open as somebody else stumbles out. Rowan looks down at the ground, not noticing me immediately. I wonder why he's left. "Hey." I smile, sitting on the bench in the small little square of grass outside. If we want a break from the cameras, we're allowed to sit here for a while, for ten minutes at a maximum.
Rowan suddenly looks up, somewhat shocked. He mumbles something to himself but he's too far away for me to hear. "Hello."
"What are you doing out here?" I ask, curiously. He's somewhat of an enigma to me. The lack of knowledge makes me uncomfortable almost, so I must find out more.
Rowan sits next to me. "I need a break from all the chaos. My introverted ass can only take so much." Rowan says, looking awkwardly in the distance. He is very soft spoken, to the point where it's hard to make out what he says. But it's endearing. "And Nefeli's singing was really fucking annoying too."
I laugh, though Rowan doesn't join in. "Yeah. My head is pounding right now. And not to imply she isn't talented, but her singing isn't helping."
He nods along. "Yikes. They should have some medication if you go to the first aid bay. They probably have something that completely eradicates headaches." I see him grip onto the wooden side. Be careful or you'll get splinters.
"Really? I should look then." We sit in silence for a little bit, which I think he'll appreciate more than unnecessary conversation. Once we reach the point where it's almost awkward, I speak up again: "You shouldn't spend too much time out here."
"Yeah I know...I'll head back in a minute." Rowan nods, though he doesn't sound too eager.
I nod, shuffling a bit closer to him. "Good. I think a lot of people are missing you right now. They wouldn't want you to be sitting out here by yourself."
Rowan lingers over this bit of information for a second. "You think so?"
"Yeah, I wouldn't say it if it wasn't true." I knock him slightly, smiling wide.
He thinks about it, staring at the large full moon. I can see him shiver slightly. I wish I could just hold him but I don't think he'd like that. He's good looking, but it'd also be off putting and I'd be stepping over a few too many boundaries. "I...I guess I shouldn't be waiting out here then. Thanks."
"No problem." I show a warm grin. We stand up, walking back into the venue, my head still killing me. There's no more singing, but the music is still slightly too loud for my liking. I can ignore it though, as long as I focus on something else. I can appreciate the warmth at least.
"Do you want to dance with me?" I ask Rowan, as we stop just before the dance floor. "I'm quite acquainted with banquets and balls…"
Rowan's nose flares and his eyebrows furrow. "I'd rather not dance with anyone else. I'm taken…which you'd know if you paid attention to my fashion show."
"Ah, my bad. I must have missed it as I went directly before you." I quickly save myself, though I wonder if my residual disappointment is as obvious as it feels to me. I really did think he was quite cute…and my rising hopes could have been quelled if I didn't miss something so important.
I turn to see that his anger has been replaced with an awkward blush however. He steps closer to me slightly before whispering as if it's the most embarrassing question in the world:
"How are you so…forward and direct with your feelings?"
I blink, unsure on how to answer that. It's a loaded question, something that doesn't really have a set answer. I take a step back on the creaky dance floor and Rowan instinctively steps back, looking away…ashamed.
"I just…don't worry about the reactions I might receive. It's a lot easier to be myself when I'm not worrying about my reputation and people's perception of me." I say, not even sure what an honest and true answer could be. I'm…not going to analyse my entire personality for him.
Rowan puts his hands in his pockets, consumed by thoughts. "That's some bullshit, but…it's probably true."
He takes a step back, looking at the ceiling. It's easier said than done, but what else can I say? I can't change him. Before I can say anything else, he walks off, muttering a small goodbye.
I don't know if what I said to him helped him or changed him at all. I hope the advice I suggested struck a chord with him, but I can't ever know. Something about him intrigues me, though I'm not sure what…
Dae Frazier
20:21
"This is going to sound really odd, but you have to trust me and come with me." Osiris urges me, as I bend down slightly to become level with him.
Have to? I haven't the foggiest clue what he could be talking about. I've never even spoken to this stranger before, but he speaks as if we're the most intimate of friends. Osiris does have the sort of charm and smile that makes me want to trust him however. But that doesn't detract from the fact that I have no idea what he's planning. Is it in my best interests?
"Where to?" I enquire, tapping my toes slightly.
"Can't tell you in front of the cameras." He winks and offers a hand out. And my worries sort of evaporate away, as I'm led by his motorised wheelchair. I assumed every inch of this place had cameras, but maybe not…is it hyperbole? I'm not the best at working these things out.
It's a short walk to the…storage cupboard? Again, I'm proving how clueless I am as I had no idea this was here. There's a rather apparent 'no entry' sign, yet Osiris doesn't hesitate to go through. That's definitely not allowed…
Everything is screaming at me to not follow after him. To break such a major rule would be preposterous and Mother would be very annoyed…but a small spirit in my head tells me otherwise. It's so easy to give in too, despite all logic telling me otherwise.
I have to be adventurous sometimes! And it'll help me meet some new friends! But do I want to surround myself with such bad influences? I enter though, as I realise I'm spending an awful time hovering outside. He's probably waiting on me, which isn't fair.
Inside is…Osiris and Willow? What an odd combination of tributes. But they seem happy to see me, smiling and urging me on.
"Hi?" I say, wondering why we're all congregating in this small room. There's a few racks of spices and other odd assortments, but the cupboards do seem quite barren. There's probably enough room to swing your arms around, but you'd still brisk your fingers against the wooden shelves regardless.
"Hey, we didn't think you'd actually come!" Osiris smiles and I'm not too sure why that is. "You seem like…a total holy rule…abider?"
Is that a bad thing? He says it like it's meant to be, but it's not something I'm ashamed of.
"There's nothing wrong with that. You just seem…sensible and wise." Willow smiles, which makes me feel a lot better about myself.
"Thanks…well I'm here now." I look down, before showing an awkward smile. Are these the cool kids? I don't know if they are, but I don't feel like I belong.
Osiris smiles, before wheeling to a specific cupboard. "Good! Could you do me a favour and reach the top shelf please? There's a pack of peanuts up there!"
I do it easily, my six foot stature finding it easy to grab it. Willow's not that short, but maybe she struggled to see over it like I almost can? I don't mind doing such an easy task anyway!
"Why do you want it?" I ask, handing it over. Osiris struggles to open it for a second, before stuffing his mouth.
He struggles to speak with his mouth entirely filled up, but he quickly swallows it like a garbage chute. "The food is kind of like…school dining food? It's kind of shit."
"Or it's really pretentious. I don't want alpaca meat with orange flavoured curry." Willow shrugs, occasionally grabbing a nut too. I try one but find it too salty and boring, so I don't grab another.
"I thought it was nice, but I don't normally get a choice…and I've never had a school meal before." I mention, not sure if I wanted to bring it up; but I think they can tell how…naive and oblivious I am anyway?
Osiris chokes almost, before laughing. I giggle too at the absurdity of it all. "Really? But that's like…a staple childhood moment! To be sick after getting food poison from some shitty school dinner!"
I giggle, wondering what else I've missed out on. "Maybe I can experience that tonight then."
And no matter how nervous I felt at first, I realise I've sort of settled in. They're a lot easier to talk to than I expected and I sort of feel like a little sibling to them! And I've completely forgot my nerves of being in this place I'm not allowed to go to.
Rowan Augustine
20:36
Do people really value my presence that much? I've never assumed that I've been hated or unwanted, but I didn't think people would want to be around me especially. Maybe I should stop acting like such a social recluse and try to join in then.
So I wander to a large crowd of people, hanging around the outskirts of them as they pull chairs along to form a circle. I see a spare seat and I just…sit down, sort of inviting myself. Nobody opposes this however, as I shuffle along.
"Ok, so we've got…seven people to play, never have I ever! Nice for you to join us Rowan!" Osiris announces as he weaves in between the chairs. Oh God, what have I signed up for?
Everybody turns to look at me and I just nod and smile, looking at my shoes. The stares all feel overwhelming, but at least they don't seem upset.
"Can I go first?" Dae asks, with an eager hop in their chair. Everybody nods and sticks a hand with five fingers up. "Never have I ever…broken a law!"
Osiris immediately puts a finger down, something he seems to be happy about. I might as well be honest, so I also do. A few seconds later, Willow does too with a cheeky smile.
"I've probably trespassed on private property…hundreds of times!" Osiris smiles, which isn't as impressive as expected.
Miri shrugs, looking unphased. "That's such a boring law to break."
Osiris finally parks his chair next to her. "Would you rather I be a murderer?"
She laughs, but doesn't answer.
"I'm not a murderer…by the way. I just used to get in a lot of fights." I feel the need to clarify, while realising I'm really understating what I've done.
"A goliath like you must have crushed all of the david's around you then!" Auberon laughs, not taking this seriously at all. It makes me a bit uncomfortable to think about, but I laugh anyway.
We all turn to Willow, who just giggles. "I haven't always been a saint."
She doesn't seem to want to elaborate, so we move on. Next in line is Gratiana, who seems to put a lot of thought into it. "Never have I ever…been on TV? Not counting this, obviously."
That seems like something so insignificant, that you couldn't look bad no matter how you answered. I think she cares about her image a lot.
Only Miri puts her finger down. "I was in some car insurance ad when I was a toddler! I wish I could remember it though."
"How exciting." I mutter to hear a few giggles.
Auberon smacks his hands over his mouth as if it's an important revelation. "Maybe that's where I recognise you from!"
"She would have changed a lot since then though." Gratiana points out the obvious. True, especially seeing as surgery and altercations are much more heavily promoted now (though thankfully it's frowned upon to do it to children.)
Osiris is next, who chortles to himself. "Never have I ever…fallen in love."
I let out a laugh, not expecting him to say something so sappy. Nobody else joins in though, taking it a lot more seriously than I am, so I blush. And everybody also immediately puts a finger down but Dae…and Osiris himself.
"I'm just waiting for the right person?" Dae asks, not even they're convinced.
"That's completely valid though!" Grati smiles, finding it to be more cute if anything else.
Dae giggles though. "Yeah! Maybe I'll meet a special someone here. Wouldn't that be dreamy?"
"Exactly! Like something out of a romance novel, or a play." Willow offers an awkward smile up.
We then turn to Osiris, who doesn't say anything. Everybody's respectful enough not to pry if anybody doesn't want to speak, but that does beg the question why'd he ask it if he doesn't want to answer himself.
But it's interrupted, as he suddenly wheels away to the bin in the corner of the room. A lovely retching noise can be heard, as the contents of his stomach are emptied out. I can't see him, but he quickly wheels back to the circle.
"School dinners." Osiris bluntly says, looking like complete shit. I thought he looked a little off but I assumed it was the drink. He's stirring oddly and looks very pale, like he's been painted with chalk.
Grati suddenly stands up and walks up to him. "Oh shit, are you alright?"
Osiris nods. "Completely fine…let's just get back to the game…"
"Nope! You're heading to the infirmary!" Gratiana announces, grabbing the handles to his chair. And off they go, gone away to never be seen again (or maybe just for the next half an hour.)
"Well…that was a good game." I mutter to silence. It seems like that ruined the mood of the game, which is fair. Now I feel a little bit queasy, but at least I'm not like the poor soul, Osiris. I hope he's ok, but he should be fine regardless, knowing the medicine we have.
Maybe I'll just…get a drink. That might help me feel better.
