Baxter Parthenon
I'm proud of how I acted at the party actually. Sure…I might have broken a few of the smaller rules, but they really don't matter that much. I avoided giving into my vices and stayed strong, despite all my disinhibitions that kept sneaking up. I still feel like complete shit however, stumbling around with a killer headache.
I'm even more pissed at the fact I haven't improved in any of the stations though. Starting a fire shouldn't be this fucking hard. Just twizzle some stick about and catch some sparks and then you're all fine and dandy. But all I'm doing is giving my hand splinters.
"Fuck this." I groan, kicking the pile of firewood and tinder over. It shockingly doesn't make me feel any better.
"You were meant to rub the string in the middle, not the bottom. Were you even paying attention?" Some guy (Rowan?) mumbles to me. I feel like spitting in his roaring fire after hearing his snarky remarks, but I contain myself.
I feel a red flush sweep over me, as I drop my sticks too. "Yeah…of course…I just have shaky hands. And there's a lot to remember."
"Perhaps I shouldn't have been so judgemental then." Rowan mumbles, though I can't tell if he's being sarcastic. His monotone expression doesn't give much leeway.
I don't respond at all, not wanting to go any further. Instead I grind my teeth and bear it, not wanting to get into any drama.
On the way out, I accidentally stumble on his fire as I look at him, not focusing on my surroundinys. I forgot it was there, as I can't smell the overwhelming presence of smoke, or feel the heat. "Oh fuck! Sorry…" I'm barely able to get out when…
"It's fine." Rowan mumbles, seemingly not being ok with it.
Either way, I try not to take any notice. I walk out, trying to lower my temper and level my emotions. It's so hard to try to stay fine when I can barely keep my thoughts on one track, but I make do. I don't have a choice to not too.
The nearest station to me is the sparring, which Rowan also seems to be interested in going too. He must have the same idea as me, of going in a carousel. Or he could just be following me, which'd be quite creepy so I hope it's not that.
"Hey, do you want to spar?" I ask, the idea suddenly coming to mind. It doesn't seem like it'll end well, but it could be entertaining fighting with him. He looks like a large but manageable threat, so it'd assert my power if I beat him.
"I thought we weren't allowed to spar with each other." Rowan doesn't look at me, as he approaches the cabinet of wooden swords.
I shrug, looking at the ruleboard, skimming over it. "Nothing here says that we can't…"
"I just assumed it was a given that we couldn't." Rowan frowns now, reading it a lot more slowly and carefully.
"If it's such a big problem, they'll just stop us. They won't kick us out…and we can't get hurt, so I don't see how it's a problem."
My argument isn't convincing enough however, as Rowan shakes his head, still not wanting to. He takes a steady breath or two, leaning over the weapon's rack. "I'll pass, thanks."
"Guess I'll just have to save my victory to the arena then." I mutter under my breath as he enters his own little booth. I leave the room, not interested in doing anything now, as his overly careful obnoxious nature is just frustrating me at this point.
In the…gathering area to the side, there's a lot of tributes just idly waiting around. I guess we've had three days now so most people are just lazy now, (unlike me for once, surprisingly.) And there's nothing new to try either.
So I sit on the freezing slab of the seat, not appreciating how grey and empty this cold cold room is. Couldn't they hang up some paintings or a plant pot somewhere?
"Bloody hell…" Karrie says, staring intently at the screen to the sparring nation. Every eye is directed to where she points.
Rowan is an empty field, absolutely demolishing the blank avatars. He's meant to be casually fighting, but instead he's…bludgeoning them to death with a club. Showing no mercy or consideration, he only speeds up when they increase in numbers and difficulty.
I get a glimpse of his determined expression, which is…off putting. Now I ain't one to get scared quickly, but I think I'd back down if I saw him staring at me like that. And I wanted to spar him?
Nefeli cheers, kicking her foot against the back of the seat. She probably fancies a broken ankle. Blu stares at her at with a confused concern, as if she's radioactive and giving off deadly, visible rays of it.
"How are you not disturbed by this?" Blu mouths, tapping his foot on the floor. Rowan's ferocity is kind of frightening…so I actually agree with him. Shocking, considering we're nothing alike and I'd normally think this'd be funny.
"It's just some…on board entertainment." Nefeli shrugs. "You can't act as if you've never been entertained by a fight like this before…"
"Well…it's more that we have to fight him…in three days?" Blu reasons.
Nefeli laughs, making a psh noise with her lips. "Eh, did you not expect there to be threats like him here?"
Silence from Blu, who turns red like he's being choked. We all sit in silence as we're captivated by the raw wildness of Rowan, so I decide to add some masterful input and wise words.
"And it ain't like he's some master class fighter. He's just hitting some bot with a big stick violently." I mumble. As I say that, he impales another one through the throat, which I choose to ignore.
Karrie laughs too. "Exactly! I don't think we have to be worried at all."
Err…maybe we shouldn't be that carefree…
But this entire thing has made me think a lot about…fighting, in general. I've never been put off by it, but does it line up with my…moral journey or whatever you'd call it? I don't want to be painted as a villain, which being a mass 'murderer' would surely make me. Is it fair for me to pick off the weaker tributes for my own gain? How should I go about this?
It's too much heavy thinking for my pounding head, so I choose to just stay…blissfully unaware I guess? It's what I've been doing so far and it's only ever worked well for me. Why stop now?
Karrie Cataline
This…barbaric rawness displayed within Rowan is certainly an interesting event to witness. I had written him off, but now I'm wondering if I judged too quickly. I'm also heavily weighing the other options…he might be a fool because he's showing such power and arrogance a bit too soon, methinks. He's shown us all his cards.
"I wonder what's wrong with him." I mumble, not recognising why he's so violent. It can't be too bad as he wouldn't have been accepted, though it could have easily been something undiagnosed or a secret he kept.
Perhaps Baxter provoked him? They were speaking before. I'll have to keep an eye on him too. I personally think they're both fodder, but interesting fodder nonetheless.
Nefeli shrugs. "That's not for us to know or speculate."
"I'd think otherwise if we have to deal with him...it gives him an unfair advantage." I mutter. I only care because I need to know how detrimental or helpful it'll be to him. It's not like we can feel pain in the games.
"And? We all have our secrets and hidden strengths. Fucking hell." Nefeli rolls her eyes, clearly getting riled up.
"What's your secret then?" I wonder, feeling eager to know more. I'm not scared of her at the moment, as I can sense she has enough constraint not to fight (and she does seem quite bright.) It'd be smarter for her to save it for the arena, which I'm sure she's worked out. I don't need to spoon feed it to her.
Nefeli suddenly stands up, as her breathing gets heavier. "None of your fucking business."
Toodles! She walks off, to one of the stations, no doubt to spread the news. It's Rowan's fault for blowing his lid off so soon. I see no point in hiding it from anyone.
"There's no need to be so scared." I smile at Blu, knowing it's more taunting than sympathetic. Didn't I get annoyed at Auberon for doing something similar?
"I'm not." Blu mumbles. I still don't have a good read on him, which is frustrating. I keep poking and prodding at him to see if he'll snap, or show me his secret. He can't be so...pathetically average! But the more I think about it, the more I get annoyed and feel the urge to just…scream at him.
"Are you scared that somebody's going to attack you like he's attacking those avatars?" I wonder. I shouldn't have said that out loud...but oh well.
Blu shakes his head. "No...I just don't feel as protected. The staff should have stopped him, considering he's at the sparring station…"
"And they didn't. Worrying, isn't it? It shows how much they love and value their jobs." I say, knowing most of the staff are probably underaged teens who really don't care. I wouldn't care that much if I were in their position either, but I never will be. I won't ever have to stoop so low to do such pathetic work.
But it's interesting to find out something about Blu's thought patterns, even if he's not being entirely truthful. Perhaps he's just as weak as he seems. Wouldn't that be funny?
Either way, I've spent enough time lollygagging around in this cosy little corner. But we have such little time left and there's no point in trying to learn and hone a new skill…
So I saunter over to the massive climbing wall, which isn't in a little booth like the rest of the training area. It's relatively easy to scale, as it's the beginners wall and just for practice, but I fancy sitting at the top for a while.
The grips don't get any smaller or further apart the higher it gets, but it does slant backwards a little. Thankfully I don't have to wear an uncomfortable harness either, as dying in this simulation does absolutely nothing to me in reality. If I fall, I can at least do a swan dive and front flip.
Once I hoist myself over the top, I have no time to cheer however. On the little balcony with a couple of fluffy blankets and cushions are a gathering of tributes. That would explain why it felt even emptier in this warehouse somehow…
It also begs the question of how did Osiris get up here? Perhaps he's more capable than expected…I also see he's playing with a shiny golden watch (presumably from the fashion show?), moving the hands around. I feel like snatching it off but refuse.
"Karrie!" Tiara claps, as a few more heads careen to me. "I've been meaning to speak to you!"
"Despite the fact…we've barely ever spoken before?" I ask, confused.
Tiara nods, with a wide smile. "Yeah! Because…you're like, one of those people who go by the mantra of…being truthful no matter how hurtful it might be. Like…candid?"
"And I need you to talk some sense into her." Gratiana frowns.
Interesting? What could they be alluding to possibly?
"Well…you know how the interviews are tomorrow?" Tiara beams with a smile.
"I…do know that, yeah?"
"I've been trying to think about how to make my interview a spectacle and…"
This already doesn't seem like a good idea, because I have no idea what could be brewing in her mind. I take it it's not positive from what little I know of her.
"I want to…break up with Lycoris!" Tiara laughs as if it's just some everyday thing and not a humongous thing for the two of them and their futures together.
Erm…huh? I wasn't even aware that they dated, so I guess I'm not as astute as I thought I was? Did they audition and come together?
"Why the fuck would you do that?" I ask, utterly bewildered by this revelation. Gratiana nods along too, as she snuggles underneath a blanket.
Tiara shrugs. "It'd be a huge scandal! I might as well make a big ordeal out of it and get some extra screen time."
"But you'll also be making another enemy for the games? And Lycoris seems very capable to me." I point out, which she nods along too.
"And it shouldn't be a public event. That's something you do in private. It'd be so…unfair to him!" Gratiana continues.
Osiris piles onto her too. "If you really have to make a big deal, just wear a terrible outfit…a jumper and trainers maybe?"
Tiara seems annoyed by all of these terrible responses. She stands up, shaking her head. "But it's not like that! It's different! I've been planning and I'll get back together with him at the end of the games…"
Is she planning to…create her own storylines instead of the producers? Instead of leaving her fate in their hands, she's decided how they're going to edit them. That's kind of smart actually…
"Then what's the point?" I wonder.
Tiara shrugs. "Because…it's like some easy development in the progression of our love…and it'll get us all the attention."
"Attention? Just wear a pair of jeans and you'll get more than enough!" Osiris reiterates.
Gratiana nods too. "Anything else would be better, really."
Does she think anyone would react positively if she were to do so though? I mean…the audience would live for the drama and it would make her the talk of the town and…maybe she doesn't mind possibly being a villain?
Tiara then thinks about it. "Fine…I probably won't then. I'll just keep the act up."
In a sort of hissy fit, she teleports down. At least…it was sort of drilled into her head? Why do I even care? It'd be funny to watch them flubber this all up and fail.
"So, why are you up here?" I turn to the odd couple of people.
"Got bored so I went on a journey up here." Osiris shrugs.
Gratiana shrugs too, copying him. "And I saw he was alone…and like a good friend, I helped him get up."
"And Tiara came up too to escape Lycoris for a while. I can't even imagine why."
"Neither can I…" I roll my eyes, thinking about how unbearable and fake Lycoris can be. It must be grating to hang around with such a people pleaser constantly.
I don't blame Tiara for wanting to break up with him, but perhaps in front of live television and a humongous crowd isn't the greatest idea. And if they're going to get back together, it's just a lot of extra drama and work for no reason.
Thank goodness I refused the romance aspect before I got here…
Rowan Augustine
In the empty field, my unsteady hand drops the wooden club, letting it roll to my feet. It quickly settles into my blank mind that I had just…unleashed all of my overwhelming emotions for the entire world to see. It was the one thing I promised to myself I wouldn't do here.
At least…I did it to some random avatar instead of an actual person?
I can't even remember what pushed me over the tipping point. Was it Lycoris constantly provoking me and riling me up? Or was it the constant cameras dangled in my face?
Whatever it is, an undeniable blanket of shame settles over me and douses my head in murky waters. I feel the intrinsic need to curl up under my covers and hide from the rest of the society, but I can't…I have to keep walking with a brave step and my head held high.
Every step filled with guilt and embarrassment, I know exactly what I have to do. I see the two of them sitting on the stairs, clearly having a good time. I know it'll be painful to ruin the rest of their day like this, but it's for the better.
"Rowan! What happened in the sparring station?" Dae asks curiously, with no ill intent in their voice, as I sit next to them. A sense of relief almost hits me, as I realise they don't seem angry…they're good, forgiving yet naive people.
"I just…needed to blow some stress and I went a bit overboard." I sniffle, looking away uncomfortably. I can hear them murmur something to each other.
Auberon speaks for the sake of it. "Didn't they call this a pressure cooker? The lid must have just plonked off!"
"Yes it did." Dae notes, sounding almost disappointed now? Rowan never would have thought he could have upset them so deeply. But whatever feelings they have, they manage to cover it back up. "But the lid is back on, I hope."
I nod, not sure how to respond. Consumed with embarrassment, I can't even stare at them.
"I think it's fine though! Like you said, our emotions are a scale! Sometimes they're high up, sometimes they're low down. Maybe your emotions were so high up they fell off the scale!" Auberon tries to reason, but he seems less and less confident as he goes on. I'm thankful for his reassurance but I don't think I particularly deserve it.
"It was pretty terrible, what I did." I mutter.
Dae shrugs, seeming unphased and not entirely into it. "I mean…you just did what was expected in the games, right? It wasn't even too a real person either. And if we all felt guilty for every bad thing we've done, we'd all be stuck in a rut."
But that's not the point! I've just exposed myself as a violent creature for absolutely no reason. I didn't have to be so inhumane when targeting those bots, but past me chose to be so brutal.
"That's true…but what good things have I done here?" I question.
"You gave me advice yesterday-"
"And you helped me out with learning how to build a base-"
"And you're doing this to pay off your boyfriend's university debts-"
"You've been great at listening to all my problems-"
I shake my head, overwhelmed by everything they're saying. It was a rhetoric, hearing the responses just make me feel even more sick. I'm not even sure how to react, whether I should thank them, deny it or return the favour, so I…just say what I was meaning to say at the start.
"I...thanks guys. It really means a lot to me. I didn't expect you to be so understanding." I take a pause. "I think it'd be best if I left the alliance, for now."
"But we're not angry at you!" Dae bursts. I think this is the first time I've ever seen their relatively annoyed, but it quickly passes over, as their more passionate, authentic side washes over again. "We still want you here!"
"Yeah!" Auberon adds at the end.
I feel like I'm about to be sick, but I push the feelings and vomit down. "No, no...it's not that. It's for your own safety. And mine too. Please just...let me leave."
I can't bear to think of hurting them in the arena…say if I unleash my rage on them like I did to the training avatars? I don't think I'd ever be able to forgive myself.
Dae shakes their head. "You can't…"
"I don't want to hurt you either. We…can still be friends!" I try to soften the blow, knowing how
much this all means to them. "I just don't think we should stick together in the games."
Dae looks like they're about to complain, but Auberon interrupts. "I think that's fair! It's your choice and…we can still be good friends after, right? It's not like it's the end of the world."
Dae takes a pause, thinking things over. They eventually come to a conclusion. "True…I can't force you to stay. I just don't want us to leave each other behind…"
"I promise I won't." I shuffle, feeling more uncomfortable than ever.
"Then it's all good." Dae smiles, pulling me into a hug. I rub their back, not sure how to respond with my awkward body. Auberon joins in too and it's all so overwhelming with him crushing us, but it still feels warm and good.
We talk for a while, but thankfully, they leave relatively quickly. I...do appreciate his kindness and sympathy, but I don't deserve it or need it. I'm glad they're such amazing people though…I just feel even more uncomfortable.
I sit at the stairs, only leaving when we're forced out and most people have left already. Once out or the machine, I decide to take a stroll up the stairs instead of the lift. The elevator looked rather crowded and I just needed some thinking time, away from the cameras.
But I hear a door creak open. Karrie slips out, but stops when she sees me. She curses under her breath, clearly annoyed. "Fuck. Don't mind me. I'm just going on an evening stroll."
"Through the unused floors we're not allowed to go to?" I ask without thinking, very curiously. I don't think she'll do anything to me.
Karrie curses again. "Yeah? Is there a problem with that? They can't punish me for it."
I shake my head. "No, I just want to know why."
"I think you should stop being so nosy." Karrie snaps back. Does she sleep at all? She's struggling to stand despite it barely being evening.
I shake my head. "I'll just have to report you then. You wouldn't want that, would you?" I say with as much snark as possible.
Karrie looks like she's about to tear my head off, but she refrains herself from doing so. She mills over the options in her head, taking her sweet time, before finally sighing. "Fine. Just follow me and don't make a word."
It's risky for me to break any more rules. And I want to go back to my room and hide for just a little bit longer. But the place I'm going to shouldn't have any cameras or guards and I am curious about what she's doing. I guess I could follow…
It's odd how there's a bunch of restricted areas without any protection. There also seems to be a huge lack of regard for people who break rules, but I don't spend too much time thinking about it. I like to ask questions, but I like receiving answers more.
Though one overwhelming question that strikes me is…where are most of the staff? The hallways have never been so lifeless before…maybe they're all on break, at the same time?
We go through the winding corridors, down a few flights of stairs, through a few sets of doors until we get to an elevator I've never been to before. The entire time we're stumbling about in the dark with no lights. Karrie manages to hop over everything, getting through it fine. But my large and clunky body keeps stepping on things and tripping over objects and knocking things over. Every time I make a mistake, Karrie hits me lightly and tells me to shh.
But it's oddly relaxing being in complete darkness. It'd be a perfect opportunity for a serial killer to come up behind us and attack us however. Hopefully Karrie isn't going to harvest my organs.
We get into the elevator...and it definitely rumbles more than the other one. I'm guessing this hasn't been used in a while.
"Somebody was murdered in the games last year." Karrie tells me out of nowhere, breaking the awkward silence.
Murdered? Is that why there were no games last year? It's a tragedy, but it's hard to feel any emotion when I don't know the person or circumstances yet. "Murdered? In what way?" I pause. I think about how much effort they must have went through to cover it up. "Will we be safe?"
Karrie shrugs. "I don't know. It's why I've been going on these midnight strolls. Or…evening today."
"To find some answers?" I ask and she nods.
We go back to silence for a few seconds as the thoughts simmer in my mind. It's obvious that the staff don't care that much about background checks. They've let on people like me and Baxter of all people! Those affiliated with drugs, disabled citizens, those who struggle with mental health…I don't think we should be denied this opportunity, but the facilities assistance has been appalling. It isn't fair how neglectful they've been so fsr. They've prioritised entertainment over all other regards, to the detriment of us…
I'm sure they may have glanced over another tribute, with murderous tendecies, for the sake of better ratings.
"I've tried everything." Karrie tells me. "The last option I can think of is to go to last year's quarters to see if there's anything there."
"I'm sure they'd leave some incriminating evidence there." I roll my eyes. I suppose it's better than nothing though.
Karrie shrugs, before speaking. "Cut the sass out."
I don't respond.
"They won't. I know they won't. But if not, I'll just be left to...ponder over what happened. I'd hate that." Karrie tells me. Now that I know, I wouldn't want to ponder either. I hate not being able to learn as much as possible and being left in the unknown. And with a mystery this large, I'm not going to go leave with no clues.
Karrie Cataline
Last year's quarters are identical to our ones, including the exact layout. I'm shocked over how...easy it is to break into it. It's completely deserted and they've allowed us to just waltz in.
Granted, most of the staff seems to be…mysteriously missing. How entirely convenient for us.
The more time I spend here the more I realise that they seemingly don't care much about our safety or wellbeing. If they did, they'd never let us wander about with no restraints. Hence why this would never be allowed in the actual games. My expectations of this place have let me down severely, something that I'm very disappointed over.
"You think there'd be some guards, right?" Rowan questions, as we stumble through the hallways. It's still cleanish and well kept...do they still take care of this place? Or has it really just been abandoned for the past year?
I shrug. "There should be...I'm sure there's a reason why there isn't any. But I don't care as much about that."
Rowan doesn't respond. There's no light, which is why I came prepared with a small torch. I turn out and flash it around, even pointing it at Rowan's face at some point. "What was that for?" Rowan asked, blinking profusely.
"To see if you were still awake." I mumble, not too sure why I did it.
We finally reach the dormitories. Again, it looks exactly like how ours did...but their doors have a plaque on it, saying their name! I thought they would have removed it...but I guess not? I look at the first one…Aurora...the last name is scratched off. The dead girl.
I've realised it's hard to care when people I don't know die. If I did, how would I be able to stomach the Hunger Games or countless other tragedies the District people go through? It's not affecting me so I'm not going to lose any sleep over it.
We go through the next few doors...none of which have letters on their plaques. Maybe it was kept as a memorial then. "Rowan, I know where we're going next."
"Inside a dead girl's room? Isn't that a bit disrespectful?"
"Fucking hell, it's not her grave. And she didn't live here." I roll my eyes, prying the door open. Unlocked...not too shocking. Maybe they let the staff come here and pay respects (or her family members?). Some of them probably would have got to know Aurora.
Rowan mutters something as he follows after me. The room...looks exactly like ours. Not sure what I was expecting there, seeing as this was once a hotel complex. But at the edge of a room, is a table, filled with wreathes of plastic flowers and empty candle holders and pictures of Aurora. Silver bracelets are dangled over the corners, which doesn't seem extravagant enough.
Rowan holds his breath for a second, as he looks at it all. He looks disturbed, but again, it doesn't faze me really. I stare with misty eyes, though I don't slouch or let it get to mr.
"You're not searching through her memorial." Rowan whispers to me.
"I'm not that heartless." I frown. "I doubt there's going to be any clues about this elusive murderer anyway."
Rowan stops. "Why did we come in here then? Can we leave now?"
I shake my head. I look through a few of the notes left for Aurora, from the staff. None of them mention anything about a murder, which is probably intentional. There's not a single thing mentioned about the way she died. They haven't tried to pass it off as an accident.
"I wouldn't want my memorial to be here." I blankly say, as I put the notes down.
Rowan doesn't respond however.
Ah, there's nothing. Just a complete waste of time, as expected. Maybe I could have had worse company however…Rowan isn't too unbearable, shockingly, even if he's evidently barbaric.
