"A Token of His Promise"

MaleShep/Miranda

Written for "Mass Effect Relationships Week" - Prompt - Gifts

Summary:Before he turns himself to the Alliance, Shepard gives Miranda an item with profound meaning in more ways than one.


Within the quiet confines of the Captain's Quarters, Miranda Lawson felt at peace... at least for the moment. She tried hard not to think about the fact that the time she had left with Commander Marc Shepard was getting shorter with every second that passed. The Normandy would soon land on Illium, where she would say her goodbyes before they went their separate ways. And then, he would head for Arcturus to face the Alliance and receive whatever punishment they deemed fitting after what happened in the Bahak System.

During these last few nights, they've had silly talks of leaving everything behind and starting someplace new - someplace where they wouldn't be found. They even considered jumping onto one of the ships that was leaving very soon for the Andromeda galaxy. They weren't serious of course. Even if they were, Shepard knew he'd be wracked with guilt if he chose to leave the Milky Way. The truth was that the Reapers were coming. His kind heart couldn't bare the thought of leaving behind the innocent people who were not at fault over the politics and lack of preparation of what was to come.

He was already so wracked with guilt after what happened in the Bahak System that he was willing to turn himself in to the Alliance at their request. In times likes these, Miranda both loved and hated his nobility.

Things were uncertain as it were ever since they destroyed the Collectors. Between Miranda deflecting from Cerberus, Shepard turning himself in, and the impending war against the Reapers, it was hard to tell what would become of them. Will they both make it through the fire alive? Will only one of them survive the end? Or would they both meet their demise before it was over?

No matter what the future held, Miranda planned to spend these last few moments with Shepard until they reached Illium.

It really wasn't fair. Shepard was this kindest, smartest, and bravest man she had ever known. He was selfless, caring, and only wanted the best for everyone. He didn't deserve to have his loyalty to the Alliance thrown back in his face. He didn't deserve to be called a raving lunatic while he tried in vain to convince the politicians what was coming. And he certainly didn't deserve to be turned into a convenient scapegoat just because he was forced to sacrifice over three-hundred thousand batarians in order to delay the inevitable war against the Reapers.

He deserved so, so much better than any of this.

The remaining squad had already been dropped off at the Citadel. Aside from the two of them, the only others who remained on the Normandy were Joker, Dr. Chakwas, and the skeleton crew who were willing to give the Alliance dirt on Cerberus in exchange for immunity. There was also EDI, but that didn't really need to be said.

Since then, Shepard and Miranda remained in his cabin, where they simply talked about whatever came to their minds, or made love over and over until they were beyond satiated. At some point, they fell asleep in each other's arms.

When Miranda woke up in the middle of the Normandy's night cycle, she found Shepard sitting at the edge of his side of the bed while he rummaged through the top draw of the nightstand. Miranda shifted and let out a soft hum to alert him to the fact that she was awake.

Shepard slightly turned his head just enough for him to see her. "Sleep well?" he asked, his voice slightly croaked and tired.

Miranda couldn't help the small smile that etched her face. "I did," she replied. Her eyes spied the draw again. "What are you looking for?"

As she said that, Shepard found what he was searching for and took out a palm-sized object before he closed the draw. He didn't answer her right away as he quietly gazed at the item. Miranda simply stared as she waited patiently for a response.

After what seemed like a long time, Shepard turned his attention back to her. "I have something for you," he mentioned.

Miranda tilted her head with curiosity as he leaned back against the bed and scooted a little closer to her. "What is it?" she questioned.

She got a better look at what Shepard held in his hand - a squared, dark blue velvet box. For whatever reason, she couldn't help but think of the fact that the box was too big to contain a ring - not that she expected him to propose to her so soon into their relationship or anything. A bracelet, maybe? It was honestly hard to tell, but she waited patiently nevertheless.

Shepard stared at the box as he slowly drew in a breath. Miranda frowned a little at that as she realized that he suddenly seemed… unsure, especially as his face seemed to fall sullen.

"You know about my life before the Alliance," he started, his voice barely a whisper. "Back when I was in a gang…" Another sigh escaped his lips. "During that time, and even after I joined the military, I just…" He slightly shook his head. "I just had a sense of… not feeling like a human being. I always felt like I was much more than a street thug, but… I never felt like I was even close to being worthy of my humanity. There were exceptions, of course, but… even with my IQ, impressive test scores, and everything I've accomplished in my first four years as a soldier, a part of me felt like I was nothing more than an experiment in regards to my intelligence... or an expendable soldier who existed as nothing more than a warm body to throw into the fire for someone behind a desk somewhere on Earth."

Miranda somehow felt sad for him upon hearing his words. She knew from looking up Shepard's old records during the Lazarus Project of all the things he achieved in his career. The records showed not just how intelligent he was, but it also seemed to show that he was simply doing his job. Of course, those records never told the story of how he actually felt about all this. To hear him share his true thoughts so candidly with her really gave Miranda a different perspective on his experiences.

She wondered if he ever shared these thoughts with anyone else before her.

Miranda noted how Shepard gently rubbed his thumb over the velvet box in his hand, and his blue eyes seemed thoughtful as he recalled the old memories. He drew in another breath, and the exhale that followed was subtle but shaky.

"Then one day," he proceeded. "I was transferred to the SSV Stockholm - my first ship posting. My CO on that ship was pretty much the first officer to not see me as expendable. He never just asked for status reports. He always asked how you were, how you felt about the latest mission, and he actually let his squad question the mission – and even him – without the threat of insubordination. Because he actually appreciated feedback simply because he wanted to be the best he can be for those who worked under him."

Miranda couldn't help but smile. "Sounds familiar."

That got a small hum of amusement from Shepard. "Yeah… he did have an influence on me, huh? In any case, he was the first CO who treated me like a person. I just never saw it at the time, not until Elysium. That was when I realized how much his teachings had a profound effect on me, how much faith he had in me, and how he managed - without trying - to break the barrier between myself and those I initially kept at arm's length. As you figured out already, he was the reason I became the leader I am today…"

Miranda recalled that part of Shepard's records. The CO he mentioned - Major Derek Maderas - was a dedicated officer with his own impressive list of achievements and commendations. He was KIA within the first hour of the Skyllian Blitz on Elysium. His death was why Shepard took on what would end up being his first experience in leadership. Shepard was a Corporal then, but he somehow ended up being the highest ranking soldier in his small group who protecting the civilians within the confines of a shopping plaza. It was Shepard who rallied his allies, assisted the civilians to help them fight back, and kept the pirates – at one point single-handedly – from breaking through the barrier that protected everyone.

Miranda finally understood where the once quiet and reserved Shepard found his ability to lead others – because of the simple fact that someone in command saw him as a human being despite his own doubts. Someone who believed in him…

She and him really did have much in common…

Almost carefully, Shepard took Miranda's hand in his, turned it over so that her palm faced up, and placed the box in her hand. "Open it," he encouraged.

Miranda took a moment to feel the velvet texture of the box underneath her fingertips before she flipped the lid open. A soft gasp escaped her throat as she recognized the object that was within.

It was a medal – more specifically, the Star of Terra.

She knew what this medal was, of course; it was only given to Alliance soldiers who showed courage and bravery - those who went above and beyond the call of duty. It was an award that was rarely given out. Those who received it, like Shepard, were considered heroes of humanity, which was why the award was such a big deal.

"When I was given this," Shepard said as Miranda stared at the medal in awe. "I felt like a worthy human for the first time for far too long. I've received many other awards and commendations over the years since Elysium, but this one… this one means to me more than any other. More than becoming an N7, and even more than becoming a Spectre.

"The point I'm trying to make, Miri, is that when I'm giving this to you, I'm not doing it lightly…"

Upon hearing this, Miranda couldn't help the tears that stung her eyes, but she quickly managed to blink them away. "Why?" she found herself asking as she brushed a finger over the medal. "You don't need to… you don't have to do this. I shouldn't-"

"I want to," Shepard cut in. He lifted a hand to her face and gently turned her head so that she looked into his eyes. "I want to give this to you for two reasons. One, I need you to keep it safe while I'm on Earth. Two, think of it as a token of my promise."

Shepard leaned closer to press his forehead against Miranda's. His eyes never left hers. "I promise you, Miranda. I promise you that as soon as I get my first chance to leave Earth, I will find you. And when I do, and the war with the Reapers is over, we're going to find a nice, quiet corner in this galaxy and live out the rest of ours days in peace... together."

Promises were a sacred thing for both of them. Promises were never made unless they meant it. Miranda wanted to believed him, she really did… but she couldn't help but have doubts about the future. It was already bleak as it was already.

"Don't make promises you can't keep," she murmured sadly.

He frowned a little at that, but he pressed on nevertheless. "Then keep this close to your heart," he asked as he placed a hand over hers - the one holding the box - to empathizes his point. "Because no matter what happens, I'll come back for this. And only then will nothing separate us ever again."

Miranda tried to speak, but she found her emotions starting to overtake her. To clamp it down before she burst into tears, she cupped Shepard's face into her hands and she pressed her lips roughly to his. He returned the kiss with equal fervor and pulled her tightly to him before they laid back down on the bed and made love once more.

Through the many months after - and through the Reaper War - Miranda never once let Shepard's medal stray far from her as it was a reminder that, someday, he would come back for it – and for her. Only then would they be reunited for good.