"Untimely Grief"

FemRyder/Reyes

Written for "Mass Effect Relationships Week" - Prompt - Extreme Emotions

Summary: A single noun sets off an emotional turmoil for Kira Ryder just moments before her meeting with the Charlatan.

My version of the 'High Noon' mission.


"Ready, princess?"

Pathfinder Kira Ryder didn't usually let things get under her skin, especially things that were considered petty and low. Sloane Kelly's condescending tone with those words should've been one of them… and yet the words struck her as though those she was stabbed with a hot knife right through the gut.

Kira knew exactly why. Had it been any other noun, it would've been so much easier to deal with. Hell, even being called a bitch would've sufficed.

But no, it just had to be 'Princess.' It had been years since called anyone ever called her that… more specifically, her late father.

The noun jogged old memories Kira hadn't thought about since before she left the Milky Way for the Andromeda galaxy – memories of simpler times of her childhood when Alec Ryder was an attaché on the Citadel; how she looked up to him as her hero, how proud he was of even her smallest achievements, and who wasn't as distant as he would become the older she got. He was the reason she wanted to join the military.

She couldn't remember when he stopped calling her Princess, but she did remember realizing that he hadn't called her that for a long time at around thirteen-years-old. And somehow, at that moment, the realization hurt more than it should've. Between that and the emotional distance he created, Kira eventually grew to resent her father. It was easy to deal with while she attended Arcturus Academy in her high school years and, later, as an Alliance soldier since it meant not being around him all that much. When she and the rest of the family were together, the most common companion at the dinner table was awkward silence.

It also didn't help when she and her brother Luke were discharged from the Alliance due to Alec's illegal AI research, nor the fact that neither of them could find a decent job in the aftermath.

After her mom died, it seemed to serve as a wake-up call of sorts for Alec. It was only then - despite everything - that she and her father began to slowly mend the wounds that were left behind and they were starting close the distance that was between them. By the time they left for Andromeda, things still weren't perfect, but the mending process was headed in the right direction.

They were barely in Andromeda when bad luck hit the family. Not only was Luke in a coma due to a malfunction in his cryo pod after they hit the scourge, but Alec sacrificed himself to save Kira's and - for whatever reason - he entrusted her his role as Pathfinder. Since then, she was constantly on the go with establishing outposts, dealing with the crummy half of Nexus leadership, maintaining morale for her crew, forming a trusting alliance with the angara, and trying everything possible to make sure that everyone who came to Andromeda didn't starve.

As she followed Sloane, the leader of the Outcasts, into one of the many hidden caves of Kadara, Kira realized that she never had the chance to mourn the loss of her father… and at that moment, she was forced to fight the floodgates that threatened to open and spill forth all the emotions she held in for months since his passing.

Of course this had to happen at the worst time, Kira thought as she struggled to get control of herself. The last thing she needed was to break down right then and there, especially in front of Sloane.

She did manage to finally get a grip as soon as they reached an open space within the cave. Kira focused on her surroundings; they were in the cave because they were supposed to meet with the Charlatan - the leader of the Outcasts' rival gang, the Collective - to settle things once and for all.

Kira would be lying if she wasn't curious about who the Charlatan was. After all, whoever they were, they seemed to have an interest in the Pathfinder despite them never approaching her directly. With the exception of her first day out in the Badlands, none of the Collective have tried to attack. She later found out that they had orders to not to harm her or her crew from one member with no reason given other than they were under the Charlatan's orders.

Five seconds after entering the cave, she figured out why…

"You look like you're waiting for someone," a voice – a very familiar voice – spoke within the cave's shadows.

Kira turned her head to where the voice came from just as Reyes Vidal – a man she was slowly growing attached to since they met, with him introducing himself with the very same words he uttered moments ago - stepped out of the shadows and into the light. Upon seeing him standing there with a subtle frown on his face as he stared back at her, everything she knew about the Charlatan, the Collective, all the missions she and Reyes went on together... they suddenly all fell together in her mind and made much more sense.

"Reyes?" Kira whispered, unable to hide the shock in her voice.

Sloane spoke up with disinterest, "I'm here for the Charlatan, not some third-rate smuggler."

Kira glared at Sloane, who had her back turned to her. She's in denial. She can't be that stupid… "They're one in the same," Kira said.

"Surprise?" Reyes spoke up, his arms spread out at his sides as though he was emphasizing his reveal.

Between her whirlwind emotions from moments before and the shock of finding out who Reyes really was, Kira couldn't help but shake her head as - once more - she fought to get control of her emotions. "So, did you really lie to me this whole time?"

Reyes didn't hesitate to reply. "Not about everything. You know who I really am."

"Do I?" Kira couldn't help but ask with some contempt.

Sloane decided to get down to business as she was not interested in their exchange . "You said you wanted to settle things. How?"

Reyes jumped down from the rock he stood on before he faced Sloane. "It's simple; a duel. You and me, right now. Winner takes Kadara Port."

Kira's eyes widened in horror at his suggest. A duel?! She screamed in her head. Reyes, what the hell are you thinking?! Sloane's former Alliance military for crying out loud!

She wanted to shout those words to Reyes as panic began to set in. Once more, she was forced to clamp down her emotions before she managed to calmly say to him, "You want to avoid war by shooting each other?"

"Two people shooting each other is better than a lot of people shooting each other," Reyes reasoned.

Kira drew a quiet breath at that. She knew he was right. This really was the best way to settle things between the two factions. The rivalry between them was bloody enough as it was; it was worse for the innocent people who were caught in the middle of the gang war they wanted no part of.

"I'll take those terms," Sloane accepted.

And then, they began to slowly circle each other, their hands close to their pistols. Neither of them once took their eye off the other as they waited to see who would make the first move. Kira stood in her spot as she was only able to watch what was unfolding in front of her.

Don't die, Kira suddenly thought as she stared at Reyes. Despite being mad about him keeping his secret from her, she knew he likely had his reasons. It was irrational, she knew, but she didn't care at that point. All she cared about right in that moment was that he survived the duel somehow. I lost my Dad, and my brother is in a coma, and now I might lose y-

Her running thoughts suddenly stopped as she caught a quick shining glint within the cave's darkness. Kira turned her attention to where it came from. Despite the shadows, she was able to spot someone lying on their stomach and watching what was unfolding in front of her. She knew right away why they were there even before SAM mentioned it barely a second later.

Sniper, the AI alerted her through their private channel. His sights are set on Sloane.

There was a split moment of relief; he wasn't there to kill Reyes - but she then realized that it was Reyes who brought the sniper here without Sloane's knowledge. Instinctively, and for a couple of seconds, Kira thought about how wrong it was, how she can stop this duel right this second. She nearly took a step forward…

But then she stopped herself. Upon looking at Sloane, Kira was reminded of all the horrible things she let happen here on Kadara - the innocents who suffered under her rule, forcing them to pay protection before she kicked them off into the unforgiving Badlands, and not considering the needs of the angara who were here long before they arrived... among other things.

The Charlatan was not much better, but at the end of the day, he - her own feelings for him aside - was the lesser of two evils.

Kira also realized why a sniper was there to begin with. Sloane was former military. Reyes was not. It was a smart backup strategy on his part, as sneaky as it was…

With all that in mind, Kira didn't make another move…

The shot rang out and echoed against the cave walls. Sloane leaned forward as blood began to seep from her chest – right where her heart was – and she let out a pained gasped as she collapsed onto her knees. Her eyes looked to Reyes, and then to the Pathfinder. Kira read the single question in her shocked eyes – Why?

Kira, with her face neutral as she stared at Sloane, couldn't help her next thoughts. I guess I'm not the 'princess' you thought I was…

And then, Sloane collapsed completely on her right side, and her eyes closed as her life seeped from her. As this happened, Kira was, once more, flooded with memories of her father and how he died to save her; memories of her brother who was currently in a coma on the Nexus with no way of knowing when he would wake up, if ever…

…And how she came close to losing Reyes.

Kira didn't pay any attention as Reyes spoke to his sniper, who began to carry Sloane's body out of the cave to who knows where. She didn't even realize that she fell to her knees and, suddenly, it was hard to breathe. While barely grasping for her throat, she struggled to fully get air in her lungs. She vaguely heard SAM say something, but she didn't catch what was said…

And then, someone pulled her to them and held her close…

Kira knew it was Reyes. She should've been angry with him. She should've been screaming and pushing him away, shouting to him about how he lied to her… but instead, she was tired. She was tired of the pressure that was on her shoulders, she was tired of fighting with the crummy side of Nexus leadership, she was tired of feeling alone in her struggle. She nearly lost Reyes, she wanted Luke to wake up already, and Dad, why did you have to die?!

The tears finally began to pour down her cheeks as she collapsed into Reyes's arms and sobbed into his shoulder. Months of being on-the-go with no time to mourn her father, being worried about whether or not Luke would ever wake up, and now nearly losing the one person in Andromeda she come to deeply care for – it was too much to take, so much so that the vulnerability she dreaded to show to anyone was out on the surface.

Kira wasn't sure how long she cried in Reyes's shoulder and venting out the mix of grief, pain, anger, and fear from her system. Eventually, the sobs subsided and she pulled back, though she didn't look at him right away. A part of her wanted to bolt up and run away simply because she didn't want him to see her like this…

But she was tired… so damn tired…

Kira soon managed to pull away slightly to look Reyes in the eyes despite knowing hers likely didn't look so great. Upon looking at him, she was taken aback by what she saw – his lips were in a frown, his eyes were dilated, and his eyebrows were furrowed. It was all subtle, but she was able to read loud and clear that, whatever was running through his mind, he was frightened.

"Why didn't you trust me?" she ended up asking. Her voice sounded more pitiful than she meant to.

Reyes reached a hand out to her face to wipe away the tears that stained her cheeks. The features on his face seemed to turn less subtle and more clear. Momentarily, he looked at the space that laid between them before he drew in a breath and gazed back up at her.

"I… wasn't sure what you would think," Reyes finally said. "I… liked the way you looked at me. I was afraid that would change."

It was Kira's turn to look between them. She thought about the time they spent together ever since they met at Kralla's Song at the port. It started out as them being nothing more than business partners, but the more they were around each other, the more Kira… liked him, more than she had ever expected. In fact, Reyes Vidal was the first person in Andromeda who made her feel normal and not just the Pathfinder.

"The thing about Reyes is that he always has a good reason." That was what Reyes's friend, Keema Dohrgun, said to her when they attended Sloane's party just a week ago. It was at the same party where they kissed for the first time – and where he let out a little of his own vulnerability over why he came to Andromeda in the first place. To be someone…

She hadn't forgotten how soft his eyes got when he thought she wasn't looking. She hadn't forgotten the hopeful gaze he gave her after she kissed him in the storage room as a 'distraction.' And she certainly hadn't forgotten the way his voice growled in defense when his ex tried to involve her in their professional/personal dispute. Even when she cried in his shoulder, he gently caressed her back and whispered in her ear in comfort despite her not catching what he was saying due to her not paying attention.

Kira wasn't thrilled about Reyes lying about who he was - she would've preferred being told the truth in the first place - but there was no denying that his actions, and the way he looked at her, told the truth about how he felt about her…

After thinking of all this, and with some caution about the future in mind, Kira made a decision… one that she knew she wouldn't hear the end of from her crew once they knew what happened in the cave. But truthfully, she didn't care. For one thing, she deeply cared for Reyes even before all this, and, well…

"Nothing's changed," she finally said as she gazed back up at him.

His reaction was something to see, and it was almost like watching his mind process what she declared to him; there was a momentary shock in his eyes before he began to smile, almost in relief. Then that same smile subtly transformed into something more… playful.

"You have bad taste in men," he said, low and husky. He quickly closed the space between and pressed his lips to her, deep and yearning. She returned the kiss with equal fervor just as they both held each other close, neither of them moving from the ground they sat on.

The kiss lasted a while until they were forced to stop in order to catch their breathes. Kira moved to hug him closer, her face next to his. "The worst," she teased, her words whispered in his ear.

In response, Reyes kissed her once more, and she welcomed it.