"You know, television shows and movies gave me unrealistic expectations about the number of hitchhikers I'd run into while driving between states," Callen commented after glancing out the window at the very empty road.

Yes, Sam had actually let Callen drive. Though it was still a firm no for Kensi and Deeks, much to their disgust. It was also a firm no for either of them riding shotgun, especially when he wasn't driving. Sam Hanna didn't do back seats.

"Do you want to pick up a hitchhiker?" Kensi asked incredulously.

"No," Sam answered for him. "No hitchhikers. I barely let Deeks into my car."

"Ha ha."

"Hetty didn't give you much of a choice on that matter," Kensi reminded him.

"True."

"Hey, I have far better hair than most hitchhikers." Deeks retorted.

No one agreed with him so he pouted and turned to Kensi.

"Right, babe?"

"Of course, you do," she said soothingly.

"He really doesn't," Sam said.

"You're just jealous."

"Of your hair? Are you delusional?"

"I know you are but what am I?"

Deeks was very lucky he was in the back seat or Sam would have strangled him. He still might if he kept this up. Seriously, being trapped in a car with Deeks for anything longer than an hour was torture that surely fell under serial the Geneva Convention.

"Knowing our luck, we'd pick up a serial killer or something." Callen said, deciding that it was best to bring the conversation back to the original point.

"That's where your mind goes, really?" Kensi asked.

He shrugged. "Always best to be aware of the worst that could happen."

Like he had told Hetty a few years ago, he was the pessimist of the team.

"What are the actual chances of us doing that?" Deeks wondered.

"Do any of us look like the type of people who would just know the chances of casually picking up a serial killer?"

"Well, Sam is our Math Guy."

"I actually heard the uppercase letter there," Callen commented.

"Being good at math doesn't mean I'm good at statistics. It especially doesn't mean I know random statistics like those related to serial killers."

"Huh."

Deeks sounded almost disappointed at that. Which made no sense whatsoever? Who wanted to know the likelihood of them picking up a serial killer? Deeks. Of course, it was Deeks. Well, too bad. Sam didn't know. And now he was annoyed at himself for not knowing. Which was stupid. He hadn't cared about it until Deeks brought it up.

"No signal," Sam grumbled as he tried to look up the statistic on his phone.

"Do you want us to pick up a hitchhiker?" Callen asked in amusement.

"No," Deeks replied quickly. "Of course not. It's like you said, TV has given us unrealistic expectations on these sorts of things."

"It has. We've seen none along here," Callen replied.

"How many were you expecting?" Sam asked in exasperation."

"At least one. This is supposed to be a well-travelled route."

"I'd rather not pick up a possible serial killer," Kensi threw in her opinion.

"The guy would have the worst of luck - being in a car with three federal agents and one pretty amazing detective," Deeks bragged. "You'd almost feel sorry for the guy."

Callen raised his eye rows in the mirror. "You'd feel sorry for a serial killer?"

"I'd feel sorry for anyone who antagonises Kensi or Sam in a small place."

"You have a point there."

Sam knew it was inappropriate but he felt kind of proud of how he was thought of. He noted that Kensi obviously felt the same as he saw her puff up with pride in his mirror.

"I mean, would he even get into the car?" Callen asked.

Deeks shook his head. "Between Kensi's spidey, ninja senses and Sam's SEAL senses, he wouldn't even get his hand of the door handle."

"Why are we even on the topic of serial killers anyway?" Sam asked, interrupting them (as amused as he was).

"It is more of a FBI problem, I suppose," said Callen thoughtfully.

"That's not what I meant."

"We were talking about hitchhikers," Kensi said helpfully.

"And how I have better hair than them," Deeks added.

"You do not."

"Do to! Have you seen hitchhikers' hair?"

"I'm pretty sure a hitchhiker can look like anyone," Callen said. "They don't necessarily have to look homeless."

"And some homeless people have better hair than you," Sam added.

Deeks opened and closed his mouth, not knowing g whether he should sulk or argue his point. Sam would very much prefer if he did neither and just stayed quiet.

"In the movies they're all kind of unkempt."

"Which is the description of your hair."

"My hair is not unkempt!" Deeks said in an outraged tone. "I'll have you know that it takes a lot of effort to get my hair looking like this."

He ran his hand through his hair for good measure.

"Waste of effort," Sam snorted.

"Didn't you say that your hair was styled by pillow?" Callen asked teasingly.

"Well, it still takes a lot of effort," Deeks said with a pout.

Kensi patted his arm sympathetically. "I like it."

"I know you do. This morning you -"

"No, no, no!" Sam actually twisted around so he could shake a finger in their faces to tell them off. "None of that in my car!"

It was bad enough in work - he could escape there. He couldn't do that here. Not unless he wanted to throw himself from the car. Which wasn't an attractive option. No. Better just to get the two of them to shut up.

And, surprisingly, the did. Though, he got two smirks for his trouble. That didn't matter, he could ignore smirks and looks. As long as it didn't progress into anything physical.

"How much further do we have to go anyway?" Sam asked.

He was quite proud of himself for keeping the desperation out of his voice. Though, judging by the amused expression his partner was sending him, Callen knew exactly how he was feeling.