Honest to Dios
Chapter 4: The Wishy
"Zounds! It's Dios!" Utena exclaimed. Dios came toward the two teams.
"Yes," said Dios impressively, "It is I-ITAI!" suddenly Dios tripped and face-planted into the ground.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!" laughed Akio heartily. He pointed at Dios and laughed again. The others began to laugh as well.
Dios got up and brushed himself off. "Don't laugh at me!" he begged them. Then he got angry. "You were always teasing me, Akio! When I was locked up in the castle. Always mocking, mocking, mocking!!!" He ran at Akio and began to claw at him, snarling rabidly and drooling like a mad yak. (Author's note: Um, I was really tired while writing this. And I couldn't stop laughing at that last sentence. Oh, well. It's supposed to be a stupid fic, so if anyone complains, they were warned, the idiots.)
"Whoa!" was all Akio could say. And indeed, what else could be said?
"Stop onii-sama! Don't kill onii-sama!" Anthy begged.
"Huh?" That stopped everyone in their tracks. Of course, Utena was only filing her nails at the moment, (they're so dang long, she has to up keep them a lot), but oh well.
Dios straightened his jacket. "Ahem," he cleared his throat. "Yes, well. I came to stop you all from destroying each other and to command you all to decide on a wish. So then. You may decide now."
Utena, Anthy and Akio exchanged helpless looks.
"Don't you know what you want?" Dios screamed.
"I want him dead-"
"I want a harem-"
"I want to be an actress-"
"Chu-"
Dios sweatdropped and sunk to the ground.
"Why me?" he asked in a small voice. "I try to be a good god, I try till my hair hurts. Waaah!"
"Uh," Utena said. And indeed, what else could be said.
"Group huddle." Akio suggested.
The three, with an intruding Chu-chu, huddled and began to debate about their wish. Akio had a hard time being so near to Utena, who was still in her reindeer costume. He accidentally brushed against her and screamed.
"Kyaaaaa!"
Utena rolled her eyes. "Stop screaming kyaa kyaa like a girl, would ya?"
"I'm afraid of reindeer, so KYAA KYAA KYAA!" Akio screamed (like an girl).
"Oi, oi, oi!" Utena sighed.
"So what should we wish for?" Anthy asked.
"Chu!" Chu-chu declared.
"What did he say," Utena asked.
Akio translated. "He said we should wish for his favourite things which are apple, and cookie and banana and sweet potatoe."
Utena was incredulous. "He said all that in just one little 'chu'?"
"Well…I don't know." Akio shrugged.
"But he actually did." Anthy told Utena.
"Okay, FINE!" Utena turned away murmuring, "Logic…no logic…"
Dios sat far from the group. He impatiently waited for them to tell him their wish.
Finally, he could no longer stand the suspense!
"WHAT DO YOU WANT!!" Dios screamed at them.
Silence.
"Eh?" Dios wondered. He walked up to them. "Hellloooo...DAH!" They were all asleep. "KISAMAAAAAA!!*" he shouted.
"Na..ni.." Akio grumbled.
Chu-chu had a snot bubble going.
Utena was lying face down on the ground.
Anthy was giggling in her sleep.
"AAAAAGGGGGGGAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPLLLLLL!!!!!!" Dios spat in frustration.
"Aaa!" Utena cried in surprise and was instantly standing in attention right away.
The others also slowly awoke.
"HOW could you SLEEP! I told YOU to make YOUR WISSSHH!" Dios fumed
"Ah, right," Utena said.
"We were tired. All this preparing for battle made me sweepy," said Akio, still sucking his thumb.
"Oh! Oh! Sumimasen! Was I sleeping, was I?" Anthy seemed panicked. Utena and the others just looked at her from the corner of their eyes.
"If you don't decide in two seconds, I will decide for you!!" Dios commanded.
**********
"UTENA-SAMA!!!" Anthy cried. "We'll be late! We were supposed to visit my onii-sama, remember?"
"Oh, hai!" Utena said and they rushed off to Akio's office. As they made their way around campus, Dios and Chu-chu watched them.
"Yes, I think we did our job well. They seem much happier and back to normal. All thanks to their wish." Dios said.
"Chu."
"Thanks for your help, little friend."
Chu-itashimashite*
"And now it seems that they have forgotten everything, just as they wished. Well, it was a traumatizing experience, what with Utena in a reindeer costume and Akio depressed and all. Owari*."
Utena and Anthy zoomed up in the elevator. When the doors opened, Utena called out to Akio. "Akio-san! We're here!"
"Thank you for coming to join us, ladies. Always room for more!" Utena and Anthy observed the planetarium, which was full of beautiful and scantily clad women.
"Na……ni?" Utena said in a strained voice. And indeed, what else could be-
"My harem, of course." Akio sparkled. "It's part of what we wished for, remember!?"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo!"
OWARI
*Kisama-disrespectful form of 'you'
Chu-itashimashite- Chu-chu's thought form of douitashimashite, which means 'don't mention it'
Owari-means 'the end'
Author's Note: So this is finally the end of Honest to Dios! Finally I got around to finishing it after almost a year! Oi. And if this story offended you in any way, hey! You read it! It's yer own darn fault! Truly, you were warned for stupidity. Just look at the beginning of the first chapter and you'll see. (I say all this because the most thing I get complaints about when it comes to my fics is their stupidity. At least the funny ones I mean.) Thanks for reading. Now please review! Even if you just want to tell me it was stupid, which I already know. Oi.