Duo in:Gundam Wonderland
Chapter 6:Pig and Pepper

Okay, this chapter gets REAALLLYY silly, and really stupid. Here I am, plotting the story out in my head as I write it and I still don't know how I'm gonna go about this. But I promise you it will TRY to be funny!
Wufei:You know you talk too much. If you tell them you're a horrible writer they'll believe it.
*cries* oh shut up Wufei....

Duo knocked on the door of the house. "That won't do any good, kiddo" Duo looked at the footman, who looked like Otto, but in 17th century formal wear. Duo, who was getting kind of pissy over the events of the day, put his hands on his hips and raised an eyebrow at Otto. He began to tap his foot.
Leaning over as he spoke,"Well, why WON'T it do any good to knock on the door?!" "Two reason's chap. One, I'm on this side of the door. So letting you in would be virtually impossible. Two, they're making so much noise in there no one could hear you even if you shot down the door with a cannon."
He was right. The people inside the house were shouting, screaming, sneezing, and smashing things. It sounded like World War 8 in there.
Duo let his hands drop to his sides and tilted his head. "Well then, how do I get inside?"
Otto rolled his head to the side and then to the other side. He stretched his legs out from under the chair in front of him and stared at the sky. "Well, I supposed if you were inside, I could let you out....or..."
"Or I could just use the doorknob and walk on in." Duo replied as Otto rolled on with his ideas of how to get into the house. Duo shook his head and just walked into the house.
A plate wizzed by his face and smashed on the side of the door, nearly cutting his cheek with shattered glass. Instinctively, Duo ducked as low to the floor as he could go. He crawled on the floor to safety behind a table. He crawled face on into someone who isn't fond of being run into.
Heero pushed Duo's face away from his and sat back on his heels. Duo was spellbound. Heero had cat ears. And not just cat ears. His green tanktop and spandex shorts were gone. Replaced with a purple and blue striped fur unitard cat suit, with a live tail jetting out from his spine. His shoes were purple and blue stried slippers with a bell and a bow on the front. A bigger bell and bow at his neck like a bow tie. This Heero was absolutely frightening.
Frightening because of one thing. This Heero was grinning a huge evil grin, baring long fangs on either side of his mouth. Duo began to crawl backwards away from the cat, when he was stepped on by a big dancing woman.
Or so he thought it was a big dancing woman. Duo rubbed his hand as he looked up at the culprit. He stood up and screamed with fright at what he saw.
Treize wearing a long ballgown with a low cut chest stood before him, swinging Mariemeia around by the bottom of a baby's sleeping gown. Singing all the while. "Tu....Treize?" Duo muttered.
Suddenly,Treize was hit in the back by two plates and a bowl that shattered on impact. Duo covered his face with his arms so as not to get cut in the eyes. Treize went on unphased by the attack continuing to sing and swing. Mariemeia was crying and sneezing her heart out.
Duo peeped up over the table to see who was throwing the dishes. It was a woman. He could tell by the form of the body. He couldn't tell who it was though. She had her back turned to him and was wearing a bonnet on her head, a cooks bonnet so the hair doesnt get in the food. She was screaming all the while "MORE PEPPER!! MOOOOOOOOREEEEE PEPPPPPEEEEEERRRRR!!!!!" as she dumped box after box of pepper into a cauldron of what Duo could only guess was soup.
She finally turned around to throw more dishes at Treize. She was Une. Wearing an apron and her glasses still on. The scary german woman she was.
Duo stood up and looked over the entire situation of the room. The grinning Heero-cat, the singing, dancing CROSSDRESSING, Treize, the crying Mariemeia, the screaming and dangerous Une. He turned right around and headed for the door. "This is the stupidest house I've ever been at."
Duo's hand barely grazed the knob as he was suddenly tackled by Treize. Sure the guy was sexy as all hell but this was not at all what Duo wanted. Treize was wiggling on Duo's back "STAAAAY A MINUTE AAAND CHAAAAAT" he sang into Duo's ear.
Duo really didn't have much of a choice. He waited for Treize to get off of him and then he stood up and faced Treize. Treize had stopped dancing and was now sitting in a rocking chair cradling the still crying and sneezing Mariemeia. Heero had now lept onto the table and was curling around a ball of yarn. Duo noted how incredibly CUTE Heero looked while he was doing this. He then turned back to Treize.
"Treiz-" "DUCHESS! You shall call me Duchess!" "Oh....kaaay....Duchess, why does your Heero-cat grin?" "What are you thick? It's a Cheshire-Heero. They always grin. ALL cats grin. You stupid boy." Duo wanted to mutter under his breath a nice F.U. but he decided against it. "Well, why is Mariemeia crying so much?" "Because I beat him when he sneezes." "Thats horribly wrong but isn't Mariemeia a GIRL?" "Is it?" Treize looked under the baby gown."Well so it is, well here you take her then."
Treize threw the baby Mariemeia at Duo who almost dropped her. "But...but..." Duo sputtered, realizing it was hopeless to get Treize attention now. Treize had gotten up from the chair and had grabbed Une by the hands and was dancing around like an idiot. Une had the pepper shaker in her mouth and had her eyes closed with happiness as she danced with Treize.
Duo walked out of the house carrying Mariemeia in his arms. "That was dangerous being in there. You should thank me kid for getting you out of there. Hey, hey kid, stop crying like that. You sound like a stuck pig!" Duo pulled the cloth from out of the childs face only to find out, IT WAS A PIG!
Shinigami was actually a little frightened of pigs so he dropped the pig on the ground and jumped away from it as it ran off into the woods. He began to walk a little into the woods again.
He nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt something round and furry graze his cheek. He squealed and looked up. Cheshire-Heero was lying down on a tree branch, lazily batting a leaf, grinning all the while. He looked down from his perch at Duo. Flipping over to face him while still ying on the branch, he grinned even bigger. Showing off those fangs.
Duo stood there a second looking at Heero, then began to talk to him. "Um, Heero-kun, you're always a smart one. Do you know which way I should go from here?"
Heero purred and flipped his tail side to side then spoke, "Where'd ya like to go?" "Well, I don't really know where." Cheshire-Heero stopped purring but continued grinning, "Then it doesn't really matter which way you go...Sugar"winked Heero. Duo thought he was imagining things, he rubbed his eyes a little and continued. "Well, I'd really like to get somewhere." "Oh that'll happen no matter which way you take." "Okay okay, Lemme ask a better question. Who's interesting around here that I can visit?" Heero purred and sat up on his branch. He leaned over a little at Duo.
"Well," he stated as he pointed right "That direction will take you to a hatter, and in that direction,"he pointed left this time" lives a March Hare. It really doesn't matter which way you go though. They're both mad." "Mad?" "Loony. Nuts, Bonkers. Not all there. Psycho. Insane." "I get it. I don't wanna go around crazy people though!" "Oh well you're screwed there cutey. We're all mad here. I'm mad You're mad. All of us." "IM NOT MAD!" "'Course you are. Why else would you be here then?" "Oh shut up..."pouted Duo as he crossed his arms in front of his chest yet again.
Heero began crawling down the trunk of the tree, completely interested in Duo's skirt. Duo watched him the whole while. But for some reason he didn't stop him when Heero reached for the hem of the skirt. He should have though. Considering, Heero took a lovely peek at Duo's skivvies.
Duo shreiked and yelled "SHINIGAMI KICK!" and booted Heero into the stratosphere. "God! Why is everyone here trying to fuck me or kill me!?" "That's cause you're so sexy."
Duo shreiked again and turned to face Cheshire-Heero. "If you go to the Mad Hatter's you're sure to see the March Hare anyway. They're always together having a tea party." "Fine, I'll just go there then." "Brilliant." Heero then leaped up back to the branch he had previously sat on. He pulled out a detination device that Duo had seen Heero use many times before.
"Sayonara" and with a click Heero EXPLODED! Duo was flailing his arms about screaming "OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!!" Then he felt a hand on his shoulder. Duo was crying inwardly as he turned his head ever so slowly to the person behind him.
"By the bye, what happened to the kid you had earlier?" Cheshire-Heero purred. "It turned into a pig." squeaked out Duo. "Ah Okay." Heero pulled out the detination device again and exploded.
Duo fell to his knees and was shivering. "This place is scary" he cried and then screamed as Heero's head popped down in front of Duo's face. Cheshire-Heero was levitating upside-down. "Hey, did you say pig or fig?" "F.....Fig" "Thats what I thought you said." And once again he pulled out the detination device and exploded.
Duo got up and decided he'd had quite enough of his nerves being smashed to bits. So he ran towards the right to see the Mad Hatter. He couldn't handle another explosion.
When he got to the Mad Hatter's place he realized they were a few feet bigger than he was. Duo nibbled on some of the mushroom he had in his pocket and grew to about two feet. Then he walked past the gate and into the yard where the party was at.

~~~~Next Chapter: The Mad Tea Party
Duo:What the hell was that about!? I'm not scared of Heero
Heero:*loom*
Duo:Er I mean....WOW! HEERO WAS SO COOL! heh...heh....
Heero:....
Wow...such a conversationalist you are Heero. Pleeease Reeeeeviiieeww meee!!
By the way I happen to think Treize is superbadass. I feel bad for making him the duchess*tears*