Duo in: Gundam Wonderland
Chapter 7: A Mad Tea Party
Whee! Are you enjoying this? I hope so. Okay the three at the table, well, that basically came from me running out of characters having used my favorites as other characters in this story. But it works out Really! I promise! Don't leave me! *cries*
Quatre:You cry way too much.
You're meaner than you look.
Duo walked in through the gate and shut it behind him. He looked at the people sitting at the table. The extremely long table covered with hundreds of different types of tea sets and cakes and drinks. The table was under a tree in front of a house, and the March Hare and the Hatter were having a heated conversation as they rested their elbows on the Dormouse who sat between them. The Dormouse was fast asleep, so she must not have minded.
Duo went over to the table and put his hand on the back of one of the chairs, meaning to sit down. The Hare and the Hatter screamed at him, "NO ROOM!" and the chairs pulled themselves towards the table. Unfortunately, slammed the three into the table causing them to wiggle a bit so they could get themselves unstuck frombetween the chair and the table.
Duo looked over the characters. They were oddly familiar. Then the proverbial light bulb went on above his head. He struck a pose as he pointed at the March Hare.
"HEeeeeeEEEeeY!!!! Aren't you......YES YOU ARE!!! You're Miri-chan! ZEEECHSYPOOOOO!!!"
The hare stared blankly back at him. He tilted his head. Duo pulled his pointed hand back a little and then gave a squeaky response of "A..aren't you?"
For a reply the March Hare leaped across the table, tackles Duo pinning him to the ground. He had Duo's legs spread in a second and ran his hand up to the vertex. Duo was screaming. "WHa Wha Wha WHAAAAT!!! STOPP!!! YAAAA!!!"
The Mad Hatter tilted over the wriggling body's on the ground. "Oi...Calm down Mr Hare....I SAID CALM DOWN!" She picked up a teapot from the table and smashed it over Zechs-hare's head. He crawled back under the table and retook his seat at the table next to Noin-dormouse.
Dorothy, The Mad Hatter, put a hand on Duo's shoulder. "Sorry about that," then she threw Duo into the chair. "TAKE A SEAT!!!" The frightened Shinigami sat down at the table.
Zechs was crawling over the table again, arching his back and moaning, "MMM Sekkushiiii" Dorothy took a moment to cackle, then pushed Zechs back into his chair.
Duo was thinking to himself,'What in the hell!!' as he looked over the trio. Zechs had a child-like bunny costume on, with a big pink bow at his neck and a pink bow tied to one of his ears. His hair fell back through a hole in the cap of the costume, and he had a cotton tail at his rear. Noin had mouse ears on, a mouse tail, a sleeveless shirt that read "DOR" and tennis shoes. She seemed to be missing pants so Duo got a good look at her underroos. Dorothy had a 10/6 top hat on, a freestanding collar with a bowtie, a double breasted jacket that went over a VERY busty corset and a tight checkered mini-skirt, and shoes with spats.
Suddenly, Dorothy, who had taken her seat again, shouted,"HOW IS GUNDAM LIKE A WRITING DESK!?" "Riddles? Oh, I'm pretty good at those, hmm, I think I can figure that out." "
"So you're saying you can figure it out?"
"I just said I could didn't I?"
"No you said 'I think I can figure that out' not 'I could didn't I?'"
"I said both of that just not in the same sentence!"
"Well you're very stupid then!"
"What!?"
"What what?"
"What do you mean I'm very stupid!?"
"I like cheesecake"
"You're avoiding the question!"
"There was a question?"
Before Duo could scream a reply, Zechs had woken up Dormouse. "Twinkle....Twinkle....twinkle...twin" She fell back asleep before Zechs got to say anything to her. So he picked her up and shoved her nose into some jam. She stayed asleep but now she had jam on her nose. This made Duo screech out a giggle. Dorothy turned to him. "What's so funny?"
"Well, she has jam on her nose! That's amusing!" "Not as amusing as THIS!!"
With that Dorothy grabbed Zechs and they jumped onto the table. They both began singing" HER NAME WAS LOLA! SHE WAS A SHOWGIRL! With yellow FEATHERS IN HER HAIR and a dress cut down to there!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Duo screamed with all his might. The two stood on the table staring at him. "What was wrong with Copacabana?"Zechs asked. "We LIKE Copacabana." Dorothy chimed in. Both of them nodding their head in unison.
"Well I don't!" Duo retorted,"I think Bary Manalow is CREEPY!"
"Well FINE!" and the two sat down.
Dorothy looked around at the table, then down at her tea tray."Well, I'd like a new cup but I'm not sure if the other chaps are willing to move." "They DO seem to like where they're sitting" replied Zechs. "Either way, its time for a new cup." She stood up and shouted. "SEAT CHAAAANGE!!!"
She grabbed Duo by the arm and yanked him down three seats, as Zechs picked up Noin and moved her down three seats. They sat back down in the order they were only three seats down.
"There thats better, I say, boy, do you know what day it is?" Dorothy said as she pulled a watch from between her breasts. It made a little popping sound. Like a cork coming from a wine bottle. Duo was mesmerized by this but answered, "Um I think its the 26th." "Two days wrong!" she muttered as she smashed the watch into the back of Zechs head. "I told you butter wouldn't work on the works of the watch! I distinctly told you MARMALADE!"
"But...it was the BEST butter" moaned Zechs as he ran a hand up and down his thigh, arching his back again. "I've used it many times with the Duchess, mmmm"
"Well, you see thats the problem! A watch shouldn't be treated in such a way like that! You damn horny rabbit!"
"But it was the best butter," he ran his hand through his hair picking out the watch and setting it on a tray of cookies.
"Thats a funky watch, it tells the day of the month but not the time of the day. Whats the point?"
"Well, do YOU have a watch Mr Tooty Footy pants!?" She sneered.
"No, I ..I don't....Deathscythe usually keeps the time for me."
"I'll give you the time," purred Zechs"any time" he finished the sentence as he licked his lips and ran his hands across his chest.
"Eh, I might have to pass..."
"Pass? Pass? Are you playing Croquet with the Queen today?" Dorothy came nose to nose with Duo and stared him down into a slouching position in his chair.
"I didn't know the Queen was having a Croquet match today.....I don't really like Croquet...I'm more a fan of baseball...." Duo shakily replied.
"Iiiiiiii seeeeeeeeeeeeeee," Dorothy said this as she rolled herself down the table knocking over trays, pots, and cups. She rolled herself right off the end of the table many yards from where Duo, Zechs and Noin sat, and disappeared.
The Hare turned to the Dormouse and knocked on her head as if knocking on a Door. Thats a horrible pun. Noin finally woke up enough to sit up straight in her chair.
"Did we move again? Who are you? Why are you touching my thigh?" She asked herself, then Duo, then Zechs who was running a hand along her thigh. He then picked her up and sat her on his lap.
Rubbing his cheek against hers he asked, "Do tell us a story Mousey-chaaannn"
She cooed and nodded her head. "Once upon a time, there were five boys. And they all fought for peace using their giant robots. And their names were Susan Lucci, Donald Trump, Francis Fortcopula, Jackie Chan, and lastly Quinten Tarentino. The names of their giant robots were called Famjams."
"Aren't they called Gundams?"
"What's a Gundam?" shouted Dorothy who was now back into her seat, causing Duo to jump with fright.
"Don't interrupt the both of you" squeaked Noin.
"I'm sorry. Please go on." Duo loved this story already. He thought it was ridiculous that she was telling the Flyboys story and doing it wrong.
"Well, the four boys, Susan, Donald, Francis, Jackie and Quinten all were fighting against a power called Zoo."
"Thats five boys" peeped in Duo.
"Okay, thats it. I'm done. No more story for Mr. I'mgonnaInterrupteveryfiveminutes!!!" Shouted Noin as she fell back asleep on the table, on top of a tray of muffins.
"Oh damn. And she was so warm on my lap. It was calming me down....but now I'm arroused again." Cooed Zechs as he crawled over the table to get to Duo.
Duo was backing up his chair, ready to run. Then Dorothy intercepted Zech's pounce as they landed on Noin in a tumble of legs hair and tails.
Duo was shocked as he watched the play that was going on the table. He covered his eyes. Father Maxwell would beat him with a stick if he ever mentioned what he saaw here. He backed up and walked out the gate. Once outside the gate he turned and ran back into the forrest. Probably to yell at the Cheshire-Heero for sending him here.
While he walked through the forrest he noticed one of the trees had a door on it. He opened the door and was back in the room with the glass table. A bottle of coke on the table, next to the key.
"I think I'll do better this time." He grabbed the key and put in it his pocket then took a swig from the coke. This time he managed to be the right size. He took the key from his pocket and unlocked the door.
He had finally made it into the beautiful garden. He threw up his arms and shouted, "YATTAAAA!!!"
~~~~Next Chapter: The Queen's Croquet Game
Duo:Ze...Zechs was horny.....kowai....
well he was a rabbit Duo dear
Quatre: Whats that supposed to mean!?
It means you shut up! I've had enough of you yelling at me!
Quatre:*cries*
Oh dammit, review me pleeease before all the boys go on strike!