Duo in:Gundam Wonderland
Chapter 8: The Queen's Croquet Ground
Yee, how many times have I given the wrong title in the previous chapters!? Why don't I ever pay attention to what I type!? Can I be THAT brainless!?
Duo:PLEASE let me answer that!!!
No...get back to work!!
Duo had finally made it into the garden. He was ever so happy. The garden was heart shaped with red roses everywhere. Except right at the opening of the garden. Right near where Duo was standing, there was a tall rose tree. It was different from the rest of the roses which were red, because this tree was covered in white roses.
Around the white tree were three men, who wore Mariemeia's soldier uniforms underneath a card shaped tunic. There was a 2 and a 7 and a 5. They all had paint brushes in their hands and a big paint bucket on the ground. The trio was frantically running around the tree painting the roses.
The cards were all arguing with each other, yelling at one another not to spill paint, at who hit who's elbow to make the paint splash onto such and such's card suit, about who was sleeping with who's lover, blahblahblah. Duo didn't really care what they were yelling about. He was concerned for the flowers. It's unhealthy for flowers to get paint on them.
So he got a little nearer to the painters and asked, "Um, 'scuse me. But why on earth are you painting those roses?"
"Oh well ya see, the Queen of Hearts loves roses. But she'll only except red ones in her garden. And see, when we bought the rose bushes back when they was just but seeds, seven here accidentally put a white rose bush pack into the pile of red packs we had. Now if the Queen sees these white roses at the front of her garden, she's sure to cut off our heads!" rattled on Two.
Seven wanted to defend himself,"I wouldn't have done it neither if Five hadn't been distracting me by falling over the pansies!"
Five retorted,"I never fell over no pansies you wanker!" "Oh yes you did you sunova"
"OKAY! GOD! I don't care that much...Sheesh"Duo screamed before the cards could go on yelling at each other. Yet they did anyway. Which really was unfortunate because they never got to finish painting the roses red.
Mainly, because after Duo shouted the royal music played and in marched the royal court into the garden. First came the deck of cards, the club suits, the spades, then the diamonds, then the royal family A-10, The Knave who was Pargan, The King who was old man Peacecraft, and then the Queen.
The Queen was dressed exactly like the card picture of the Queen of Hearts, but Duo knew instantly who she was. One doesn't look on the face of Satan and forget it easily.
Thats right, it was. Relena.
He looked back at the painters, they were lying face down on the ground. Duo sure as hell wasn't going to bow to Relena much less get down on the ground and mess up his pretty dress. Duo thought about what he just thought. He really needed to get the dress off him. He was getting too familiar with it. Even though he DID look stunning in it.
Relena didn't take long to notice the white roses. She stormed over to the tree and screamed. "WHO'S BEEN PAINTING MY ROSES RED!?" She looked down at the three cards who were covered in red paint. Then suprisingly enough she screamed LOUDER than she had earlier,"OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!!!!!!"
Duo tried to cover his ears as they went ringing from the shouting. No doubt about it. This Relena was MORE annoying, even though he thought it impossible, than the one he had known.
Relena then turned her fury at Duo."And WHO are YOU! Are you with them!?"
Duo put his hands on his hips and stared down at Relena."Pishaw, I'm Duo Maxwell, and I don't even know these lamewads. As if I cared at all about how you like your roses."
The Queen's face turned redder than her gown as she shouted,"OOOOFFF WIIITH HIIIIS HEEAAAAAAAAAAAADD!!!!!!!" The King put his hand on her shoulder and said,"Now now, remember what I told you about controlling your temper?" "Yes papa." "He is only a kid." "Yes papa." "Even if he is clueless as to who you are you don't need to chop off his head just yet." "Shut up papa." "Okay."
Then suddenly, as if a whole other persona took the Queen, she grinned and said. "Do you play croquet?" "No not really. But I wouldn't mind watching." "Well, then you may watch. JUST STAY OUTTA THE WAY!" And with that she marched off to play.
Using a flamingo as a club and a hedgehog as a ball, everyone cheated their way through the game. No one cheated more than the Queen though. Everytime she hit a ball she declared she got ten hundred THOUSAND points. If someone contradicted her, she cut off their head.
Duo was getting bored, who played croquet now a days anyway? Then he felt a hand run up the back of his thigh and tug at his bloomers. He yelped as loud as he could, but covered his mouth before the Queen suspected he was contradicting her score.
He whirled around to be face to face with Quatre-bunny. This time Quatre had on a spandex red suit with big fluffy red sleeves, like Duo's sleeves, and a Card Tunic over the suit, with red running shoes. Duo hiked up his skirt and ran as fast as he could hiding behind a rose bush.
"How're you getting along?" a voice loomed over Duo's head. He shakily looked up to see Cheshire-Heero's head, yeah just his head, floating in the air over him, grinning all the while.
Duo squeaked then said, "Well, I dunno, I think I'm doing okay. I just wish Quatre-bunny wasn't so horny. It's kinda scary."
"And how do you like the Queen?"
"She's a pain in the ass. She's so.." Duo stopped as he saw Relena peaking her head around the corner of the bush eavesdropping, so he continued with,"so most likely to win that its impossible for anyone to even attempt to play. They might as well give up."
Cheshire-Heero chuckled. That caught Relena's attention. She stood up and put her hands next to her mouth and hollered."HEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOO"
Heero's ears fell back towards his skull and he winced. His arm appeared and pointed right down at Relena's forhead. And he flicked her. Right in the head. Sending her sailing across the courtyard.
Duo gasped and put his hands to his mouth. Everyone in the yard was silenced. The Queen had landed face down in the ground, her ass in the air, her dress falling right around her back and shoulders. Exposed was her ass and legs, in the ready position. Showing off her light pink panties with a kitty face on the back.
She pulled her face off of the ground and roared, starting low then raising to a scream. "Someone...is...going...to..DIE!!!!!!!!"
Everyone in the courtyard pointed at the floating Heero head. Even Duo pointed.
Relena stood up, tore off her crown,as the firey gates of hell shown in here eyes. She grinded her teath as she pulled her dress down to its proper positon and marched over to the floating head. "EXECUTIONEER!!!!!!! COME HERE!!"
An ace of spades ran up to Relena, giving her a very, very formal bow. "Yes, Your Magesty! At y'service!"
"Cut off his head." The ace stared at Heero for a bit who was grinning down at the commotion. "Well, Y'Magesty I would, but I'm afraid I can't." "WELL WHY NOT!?" "Because they ain't no body for me to cu'off from."
Relena screamed an incoheirent scream, then turned to Duo."YOU! Do you know who's cat this is!?" "Eh, it's the duchess."
Quatre-bunny jumped onto the back of Duo and started dry humping him. Duo wriggled around trying to get him off. Relena slapped Quatre-bunny who stuck out his tongue at her. "Rabbit! What happened to the Duchess?"
Quatre-bunny gave a cheeky smile,"You sentenced him to death, remember? She slapped you on both of your ears!" Then the rabbit returned to sexually molesting Duo.
Relena whirled around, "CAAAAALL THE DUCHESS!! REMOVE HIS SENTENCE AND TELL HIM TO GET HIS BIG CROSS DRESSING ASS OUT HERE!!!!"
Within, minutes the Duchess was out in the courtyard, but by time he made it to where Heero was, the cat was gone. Having exploded again.
~~~ Next Chapter!The Mock Turtle's Story
Duo:Relena is scary in this
Heero:She's scary all the time
Relena:HEEEROOOOOOO!!!
Heero:*GONE*
Duo:Heero? Heero? HEY DONT LEAVE ME OUT HERE ALONE WITH HER!!
Dun DUn dunnnnnn. Have we seen the last of our Queen? no...But next chapter we find Trowa!!! Revieeewwww meee pleeease? See I say please. I'm a good kid.
Quatre:Then why do you write almost everyone trying to screw Duo?
Duo:Can they help it?