Love can be tough, even when you're…
Chapter 5: Maid for Each Other
Unbeknownst to Lily, Rick had arrived home
at the same time. Jake and Rick were alone in the kitchen. Rick
eyed Jake. Jake eyed Rick. They both spit. Coyotes howled in
the distance. Jake and Rick barreled towards each other in a full body
block. Bones cracked, hairstyles got out of place, hormones raged.
Locked in a death struggle, Rick gave Jake a head butt. Jake answered it
with a serious wedgie. Arms entwined, the testosterone built. Rick yelled
out "Give it up, Jake!" then arched a suggestive eyebrow.
Meanwhile, Lily was running in a Bo Derek slo-mo jog toward Booklovers, when
she remembered that she forgot something completely pointless and unnecessary
at home. She turned around and ran home without breaking a sweat. She
opened the door to the kitchen to find Jake in a French maid costume being
spanked by Rick, who was wearing nothing but chaps. Lily shrieked, horrified.
"Rick! What's going on here?"
Rick wailed, "I'm sorry, Lily. I'm just a fool for love!"
Lily couldn't take it anymore, so she ran out of the house to the nearest
bar. Lily cried on the shoulder of the bartender, but luckily she thought
to wear waterproof mascara that morning. She stopped bawling long enough to
gaze up at the bartender with a doe-eyed look. "Hey," (sniff)
"you're kind of cute." Unfortunately for Lily, her pact with
the devil had just expired, and the bartender rolled his eyes and let Lily drop
on the floor...
Sam, with his newest design for a light switch, couldn't wait to show
Rick. He hurried over to Manning Manor and didn't bother to knock. As he
burst into the kitchen, he saw that Rick was now in the French maid uniform and
Jake was struggling with the waist adjustment on the chaps.
"I hate you," Jake cried to Rick. "You have such a tiny waist. I am
like sooo jealous!"
They looked up at Sam. A prolonged silence occurred. Sam arched his
eyebrow. "I scored some pot off of Eli yesterday," he stated.
Jake said, "You want to step outside?"
As they stepped outside the back door to light up a doobie, Jake, wearing
nothing but chaps, whined, "Hey, it's still kind of cold out. "