M-31

It feels strange to write that but I know I can't say what I really want to say. I'll do my best to keep this with me at all times. I know the shrinking spell but I don't know yet how to make this look like any other book, to make the pages blank, or how to best transfigure it so it looks like something else and stays that way. You know transfiguration has never been my best subject, but now I have better incentive to learn. Thanks goodness I squeaked by the OWL to get into NEWT level, though I wouldn't put it past Druella to have greased the wheels. Hopefully soon I'll learn one of those and can better protect this, in the meantime it will stay shrunken in my inner robes pocket unless I'm writing in it.

Mother and Father have been so much different since you've gone. The wards on the house are so strong now I couldn't get out if I even tried, not that I do. I look at the stars from the window. I see you in the sky but I wish I could see you in person and talk to you. I knew I couldn't write from home though I tried asking Mippy to take a letter to you, really not a bright idea but I had to try. I'm sure she went right to Mother and Father, but they never said anything to me though every time I've tried to ask any of the elves to do anything outside the house they tell me they can't.

Mother did all of my school shopping herself, I wasn't allowed out of the house all summer. I'm not allowed to go to Hogsmeade this year either. I should be mad at you, it's all because of you that my life has become a virtual prison but I love you. I hope you're happy. One of us should be. You know Bella is happy with her match even if she doesn't love him. It helps that unlike more Pureblood men Rudolphus kowtows to her. She most definitely is in charge. It's rather scary really, she seems to get just a bit more off kilter each time I see her. Mother and Father are awaiting the day she announces that she's having an heir, but I wonder if that will ever happen. In front of them she plays the doting wife well but you can still see the truth, well if you want to see it and you know the parents don't want to. She is married to an acceptable match even if they don't seem to quite like him so they're happy.

Reg told me that his mother has blasted you off the Black family tapestry along with his brother. I never talk to Siri since he's not in our House but we do exchange glances across the Great Hall occasionally. He looks like he feels sorry for me, or maybe he's looking at Reg.

Have to go, time to head to Potions, so tired of old Slughorn and I can't wait until the day I can get out of her except that I have more freedom here even in the castle than I do at home now. I miss you.

Cissa

M-31

If I saw you right now I'd hex you. I'm so angry I could spit, and yes I'm well aware that ladies do not spit. While Bella made an acceptable choice in her spouse all on her own, you did not and so I don't get a choice. I don't even get the chance to try to find my own acceptable husband. They haven't said so much in actual words but the cheerful letter informing me that I may once again visit Hogsmeade so long as I am accompanied by Slytherin prefect Lucius Malfoy made it perfectly clear.

He has since taken to sitting next to me at every meal and attempting to ingratiate himself to me. Even more unfortunately he is followed by Nott, Crabbe, and Goyle. I'm surrounded by idiotic males. Nott is at least intelligent as is Lucius but the other two, I pity the poor girls they end up married to. Though it will probably someone just as dumb as they are.

Lucius isn't even bad looking. I actually rather like his hair, and may have even had a passing thought or two about him in the past but to be forced to be with him just makes me so angry. I know that had we been born a century ago we would have had no choice in our marital partner, but I also think having been raised knowing that your spouse would be selected by your parents would be different than where we are today. I always thought I'd be able to pick my own husband.

Some days I just hate you!

M-31

I don't really hate you you know, I love you so much and it hurts that I can't find a way to see you or talk to you. I've tried sending owls but they keep being returned. I guess you don't want to hear from me, or maybe you're just rejecting anything that comes from the family. I suppose I could ask Reg to send a letter for me, or see if he could have Sirius send one but I'm afraid to try. Afraid to find out that you really don't want to talk to me anymore. Afraid that I have no one I can really talk to, no one I can really rely on, no one who really loves me. I miss you so bloody much!

A/N and so the story continues, when the muse strikes I'll keep writing on this one and update when I can so long as it's not distracting me from my regular update schedule for Two Paths Diverged and Two Headed Coin (I seem to have a thing for the number two). Hope you enjoy, feel free to review, reviews are inspiration