Promise Me the Sun

By: Tatsutahime

Chapter 7: Bitter Confessions

The night was as beautiful as it was quiet. Mamoru laid there on top of his car engine, gazing up at the stars. It was well past midnight and his friends were long gone. He convinced them that he needed some alone time. 'To think…I waited for her all my life…' A bitter laugh escaped into the air. 'Unbelievable…' Digging his hands into his pocket, he pulled out his keys and started his car.

~*~

Usagi collapsed into her bed as soon as she got home. Hot tears flowed nonstop down her face. Suddenly a soft knock was heard from her bedroom door.

"Usagi honey, Mark called for you." Irene said opening the door then hearing her daughter's soft sobs. "Usagi…are you okay…?"

"Oh, mom…" Irene sat down on Usagi's bed as Usagi sobbed into her lap. Irene looked down at her daughter sadly. She wished so hard that we could take away her pain. A hand reached down to caress her hair.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Irene asked as Usagi calmed down.

"He came back…he tried to…" Usagi started but couldn't speak anymore, she voice was engulfed by her tears once again.

"Tony? Did he find you…?" Irene asked concerned. Usagi head bolted up in shock.

"How…how …do you know about Tony?"

"Mark. I've known all along baby…Mark called tonight because heard that there was a sighting of him in this area hitchhiking." Usagi looked down shivering.

"I'm sorry mom…I tried to stop him…" Usagi started breaking down. "I didn't want anyone to know…"

"Shh…It's not your fault baby. Have you gone to any therapy for this?"

"…Yea… for about a year." Usagi said. "It didn't help."

"Mom…he told me he loved me…"

"Tony?" Irene asked.

"Mamoru…" Usagi whispered looking down.

"Oh baby that's wonderful! What did you say?"

"…I…I told him that I didn't love him." Usagi said turning away. Irene looked at her daughter sympathetically. "But you do love him." Irene said softly. "I can see it in your eyes."

"It's it, mom…I DO love him…"

"Are you afraid of getting hurt again like with Tony…?"

"No…well, yes. But... Mamoru's dream is to become a doctor. He was going to leave but he pretty much said that if I loved him back, he'd stay here…with me. I couldn't let him do that…"

"Oh Usagi." Irene pulled her into a hug. 'Poor thing…you've been through so much…'

~*~

Days pasted as Usagi tried to avoid Mamoru. It was hard…especially when he's your next door neighbor. Mina and the girls called everyday but she told them she was busy. Everything was drifting apart was fast as they have come together. She spent most of her time at home and at night, she would go their hill and watch the stars, pretending that she was a child again. Remembering the times she was sincerely carefree and innocent with Mamoru beside her.

One day, all of that changed. Her 2003 yellow mustang was delivered to her house. It only meant one thing for Usagi. Freedom. She would drive to the cliffs and sat for hours on the rocks to think. Occasionally she would her friends and Mamoru hang out on the beaches nearby, but she always made sure that she left before any of them saw her. She found a job singing and dancing in a nightclub 45 minutes drive away in the city. It was a large club on top at a skyscraper office building.

Before long, she was wearing short skirts and revealing tops. Working at the Lapine Rouge was great. She got to be her first love again, singing and she made new friends. Of course she changed her name to Serena Tekaru to avoid publicity and reporters. She was the lead singer of the sexy dancing sensation, No Limits. She threw wild parties every other night and met lots of new people.

Behind it all, she was still Usagi at home and at heart. The same little girl who dreamed of becoming a singer. The same 14-year-old track star. The sweet small town girl that everyone praised and loved.

~*~

Usagi frantically dug through her closets for her sky blue halter. Quickly throwing it on, she wiggled into her black mini skirt. She sat down on her bed and began lacing up her black knee high boots. When she was done, she sat down at her vanity mirror and traced her eyes with black eyeliner and began dabbing on blue eye shadow.

A knock was heard at her door. "Usagi, someone's here for you." Usagi looked up at her mom and smiled. "Let her in."

Once her mom disappeared from the doorway, she looked down at her watch. '2:30…it can't be Melissa. She's not supposed to be here until 3:00…"

She shrugged dabbing her finger in lipgloss and applying it to her lips. She heard the door open and close behind her.

"Hey Usagi." Usagi froze at the sound of his voice and turned around slowly.

"Mike…hi. What's up?" She asked turning back to her mirror. She began putting her hair into a messy bun.

"Usagi…what happened?"

"What do you mean?" Usagi asked pretending not to know what he was talking about.

"Cut the crap Usagi. In America Usagi…what happened. I for one am sure as hell curious to why you completely broke Mamoru heart. Not only that, what cause you to turn into this, a stuck up whore!" Mike shouted pacing back and forth.

Usagi dropped the mob of hair she was tying to work with. "Get out."

"I'm not leaving. Mamoru's life has been one big disappointment after another. I want to know what happened and so do the girls."

A crude laugh that came from Usagi shocked Mike cause him to take a step back. "You want to know what happened Mike?! I'll tell you what happened. Since this seems to be one big secret everyone's trying to figure out. " Usagi shouted turning around. "I arrived in America happy as hell. I mean come on, I was a singer at last. Signed to a huge ass record company and being able to sing my heart out. Why wouldn't I be happy? I had the fame, the money, the fans. It didn't take me long to realized that this wasn't what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Spending my time with people half my age and going to business functions nightly. Never having a moment to myself. I missed my family, my friends...especially Mamoru. He was my best friend, practically my brother. I thought god was smiling down on me when I met Tony. He was sweet and funny. I dunno, maybe it was because he reminded me so much of Mamoru. His companionship was what I thought I needed. We started dating…and then he became more and more aggressive. I didn't really think much of it until the night of my 16th birthday. The night he raped me…" Usagi paused momentarily as tears harshly fell. Mike looked at her sympathetically as he moved to embrace her. She held her hand up to stop him.

"Of course then, I realized what a horrible person he was. I called the police but by then he had disappeared. I became depressed and bulimic. I went to therapy sessions for about a year but they couldn't even help me. By then I was suicidal. Last Christmas Eve, I took an 8" kitchen knife and plugged it into my stomach." She stopped again lifting up her shirt stopping just below her breasts. There was a heinous scar, a little over 3 inches long.

"Mark, my manager rushed me to the hospital and through some miracle I survived. He did everything in his power to keep this whole thing a secret and I love him to death because of it. I wanted nothing more to be back in middle school. To have Mamoru watching over me. I wanted so much to be one of those girls whose biggest worries were if I'd need braces or if this boy liked me. I finally realized that the only time was was really truly happy was when I was with Mamoru…so one day, I told Mark that I wanted to go home after my tour. I know he thought I was crazy. Here I was a 17-year-old singer just at the peak of her career about to through it all away. I was nominated for 6 Grammy's this year, did you know that?" Usagi looked up at Mike. He himself was now crying.

"When Tony found and attacked me that night on the beach, I was scared beyond belief. I just wanted him to kill me and get it over with. I almost cursed Mamoru for saving me. Then when Mamoru told me he loved me…for the briefest moment I thought I was given a second chance at life. Then he told me about med. school. I remembered back when we were little, he told me he wanted to be a doctor and I told him he wanted to be a singer. I got what I wanted…It's his turn for him to do what will make him happy." She ended softly.

"Usagi, you could make him…"

Mike was cut off by Usagi's mom at the door. "Usagi honey, Melissa's here."

"Okay mom, I'll be right there." She waited until her mom was out of the room. "I sing at the club because it's the next best thing…I can sing my heart out and not have reporters and critics try to bring me down. To this day I'm on a strict diet and I have to take anti depression pills to push away any thoughts of committing suicide… so don't give my any crap about me being stuck up and being a whore. I sing and do a little dance routine. It's not like in a stripper! God knows how hard I tried to just be normal. How hard I tried to be happy. All I want is my life back…" Usagi finished solemnly. She turned around grabbing her purse, "Well Mike, you've heard my story…do what you want this new found information. I don't care…" With that said she stood up and walked out the door.

Mike sat there completely overwhelmed. 'We're such idiots…we should of known something was wrong. She had all of this bottled up inside.' It scared him to think someone he knew had been through so much and she kept it all to herself for years. To make it worse. He was totally oblivious to it.

Finally standing up, he realized he didn't say what he came to tell her. Quickly running down the stairs he saw her talking to a beautiful brunette dressed exactly the same way Usagi was.

"Usagi, MATTE!" He yelled just before the front door closed. Usagi turned around abruptly to see Mike speed down the stairs.

"What is it?"

"He left."

"Who left?"

"Mamoru."

"He couldn't of left. His wasn't scheduled to leave until next week…Besides, he wouldn't leave without saying goodbye…"

Mike watched her face drop sadly. "He said he couldn't stay here any longer. He said he had to do something before he headed to the airport. His plane leaves in 15 minutes…I'm begging you tell him before he leaves. He deserves to know."

Usagi slowly shook her head. "I can't Mike don't you understand?" she said walking to Melissa's red Civic.

"Usagi please."

"Just leave it okay? It wasn't meant to be… I got to go. I'll see you around." Mike watched sadly as the car pulled out of the driveway and sped away.

'Mamoru…Usagi…I swear, you guys will be happy…no one in the world earned it more than you guys…' He pulled the tape recorder out of his back pocket. 'Mamoru…you deserve to hear this.'

AU: Okay okay, this was shorter than usual. What's Mamoru gonna do when he hears the recording? Hypothetically speaking…he comes back…but what if Usagi's not there? Please review. Until next time!